Author: Fififolle
Disclaimers: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun or something, I make no money etc.
Spoilers: Siege 1,2,3, Intruder, Runner, Duet, Condemned
Beta: Huge thanks to LittleKnux2008 for beta talents!
A/N: This chapter takes place just before Trinity.
Summary: Elizabeth addresses Rodney's recent behaviour, but learns something about herself. McWeir, perhaps.
Chapter One
"Thank you for coming, Rodney, please, take a seat."
Dr Elizabeth Weir was seated behind her desk, immaculately composed. A rather distracted Dr McKay shuffled on the spot, randomly touching the back of the chair intended for him.
"You can appreciate I'm rather busy at the moment, Elizabeth, let's just get this over with." McKay's words were curt and cold.
Elizabeth sighed. This was exactly what she had feared. "Rodney, please. I'm trying to talk to you about a serious matter."
He rolled his eyes and leaned heavily over the chair. "Just say what you have to say, Elizabeth."
She took a deep breath. "All right. If that's how you want it. I'm guessing you realise I want to talk about your recent…attitude problem."
He snorted. "Could you be more specific?"
She wasn't sure if he was being rhetorical, or just plain facetious.
"Don't make this any harder, Rodney. I just want to know why you've have been so…" she found her words failing her, "…even more moody than usual these past few weeks."
He was staring at the ceiling, motionless. She couldn't see his eyes. She ploughed on, as if through treacle.
"I have noticed, and certain people have mentioned, purely in passing, you understand. No-one has made a specific complaint or allegation, I can assure you, however, there has definitely been mention of a greater degree of over-sensitivity, more heated verbal abuse of colleagues, lack of co-operation with military personnel… I'm merely exploring what I can do to return you to a more…normal disposition." Her voice betrayed an uncertainty that there existed such a normal disposition for McKay.
He had clearly listened to every word, and now fixed her with a steely gaze, before launching into an animated soliloquy. His hands emphasised each phrasing and his voice oozed sarcasm.
"Oh, well, let me see, Elizabeth. Where shall I start? Oh, yes, I watched one of my closest ever friends blown up in a satellite - that was just great, before we took Custer's last stand in this city, which had become a war zone. I almost got the life sucked out of me, because I screwed up using my 9-mil. We then almost let the Wraith have access to Earth, because I may not have been able to install the Zed-PM; that was a nice moment! During all this, someone I thought of like a little brother was turned into a drugged monster, and, oh, yes, strangled and punched my two best mates before leaving us. I won't bore you with the finer details of my time on Earth, but since we returned, I've seen a good man sucked out of an air lock, I almost took a flight into a sun, said drug-monster kidnapped me, I've had a military female share my brain, that was a blast, eh? And not to mention being held captive by criminals. That was just a taster, Elizabeth. I've lots more tales to tell. Would you like to hear them? Or is that enough to prove that I've got a few reasons to be just a little off balance at the moment? Anyway, enough about me. Why don't you tell me what's wrong with you?"
Elizabeth looked up in surprise from the scratch on the desk she had been studying on and off whilst listening to McKay's rant.
"Excuse me?"
"Ha! I hate it when you say that! Exactly, please do tell, Elizabeth, just what is your excuse for how you've been acting?"
She was completely taken off guard, and anger rose in her. "I have no idea what you are referring to, Rodney."
"Oh, come on! Since we got the Zed-PM you've been snipping at me like you're my mother!"
She stared at him in disbelief, and opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. It was a moment before she spoke. "Have I?"
Her quiet contemplation and enquiry gave McKay a chance to calm himself, and return to a place where he was actually thinking about what he was saying.
"Look, Kate Heightmeyer thinks Peter's death has thrown me right off. Haven't you seen her? I'm sure you've been through as much as me." He paused, before adding, "Teyla thinks you had a rough time on Earth…" he stared down at the back of the chair.
"I…that's not what we're supposed to be addressing here, Rodney. I didn't realise you were aware of your…problem, and that you were working it through with Kate. I assumed… All I need is assurance that you feel you are making progress."
She didn't know how she had managed to string together a cohesive response.
McKay walked around the chair, sat down and leaned over the desk, his fingers steepled close to her. He looked unwaveringly into her eyes.
"Elizabeth, I am acutely aware that I am not handling this whole situation well. The past year has been intensely stressful, to put not too fine a point on it. I am fortunate to have good friends around me to help me deal with what happened to Peter, not to mention the other stuff. I thought I could count on you too, Elizabeth, but…" he sighed, barely audibly, "I just haven't felt that close to you this past while. I don't known why. It's just, every time I open my mouth, you're telling me off, if not with your words, with your eyes." He looked down, letting his head drop tiredly.
She covered her mouth with her right hand, stifling the emotion she didn't want to show. She squeezed her eyes tight for a moment, and then opened them wide, blinking hard as she fought to compose herself. At last, she was able to speak quietly.
"I'm sorry, Rodney. You're right. I've had my own worries. Can we continue this conversation some other time? I'm not sure I'm ready to talk more right now."
He looked sadly at her, seeing the hatches battened down.
"Sure. I wish…anyway, maybe we can…fix this. I don't want us to…well, if it's all right, I'm going to…" he rose from his chair slowly, and seeing no response from her, left Elizabeth sitting at her desk, her head bowed.
TBC...
A/N: I do have a second chapter written, but I've never uploaded a second chapter before. I was going to have a go in a couple of days. Do you think I'll manage? What if I can't work out how to do it? You'd just have to make do with this chapter on its own. You wouldn't mind would you? ;)
Fifi x