I know I've said this before, but you Cal/Ethan fans are just the best. You read my meagre offerings and take the time to comment on them too, saying such lovely things. This is definitely the best fandom for reviews and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I know I'm in the middle of another story, but this came to me and I couldn't settle until I'd got it down. It's loosely based after the end of Saturday's episode but from a different point of view. Hope you like it.

I don't own anyone you recognise - If I did, I think you would all know that Ethan wouldn't have said what he did!

Where Do They Go From Here?

Dr Zoe Hanna stepped out through the automatic doors of the ED, blowing out a deep sigh as she felt the cold, winter air wash over her. She was half way through an extremely busy shift, but it wasn't that which was playing on her mind - she was still mulling over the shocking events of earlier when two of her best doctors were brawling like kids in the middle of the department. Thank goodness Connie hadn't seen them. She had been shocked to the core to see the two brothers punching and dragging each other. She knew that Cal could be quite volatile, but Ethan had completely surprised her.

She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a half smoked cigarette and quickly lit it. She inhaled deeply, half of her enjoying the buzz it gave her and the other half berating her because she hadn't stopped yet. She blew out the smoke, pausing as she heard a strange sound. It sounded like a strangled sob coming from behind her. Curiosity got the better of her, so she went to investigate. As she rounded the corner, she saw a figure, clad in familiar green scrubs, crouched by the wall with his head on his knees. Her stomach clenched as she heard the mournful sound coming from the young doctor, "Ethan?" she almost whispered, not wanting to startle him.

He obviously hadn't heard her because his head shot up and wide, startled eyes looked at her. Wide, startled eyes full of moisture and pain, "Oh Ethan what is it?" she queried as she felt her concern for the young man grow.

Ethan wiped his face, "It's nothing Dr Hanna, I'm fine..."

Zoe chuckled, "If this is your definition for fine Ethan, then you're in bigger trouble than I thought - and it's Zoe out here..."

She trailed off as she noticed what little colour there had been on Ethan's face suddenly drained away. His breathing started to become more erratic. She could hear a slight wheeze as he tried to drag some oxygen in, "Are you alright?" she asked him, expecting him to tell her that he was fine, but instead, he shook his head, "It's all going wrong!" he exclaimed as his breathing quickened once more. This time though, Zoe could see he was really struggling to breathe, "I think we need to take a look at you - this is not normal Ethan, particularly for you."

She stepped to his side in the hope of being able to help him as he was obviously having difficulty in getting to his feet, but her dress was quite restrictive in the bending down department. Thankfully, as she looked around, she saw Max coming into view, "Max! Can you help me here?"

The young porter turned at her voice, causing a tidal wave of emotion to surge through her. He still did that to her, just by a look. He jogged over to her, his face furrowed in confusion, "What's going on?" he enquired, noticing how Ethan was sat, struggling.

"We need to get Ethan inside - he's having some sort of panic attack or something - he's having a hard time breathing..."

"I think it's a cracked rib," Ethan gasped out, "From the fight..."

This shocked Zoe even more. The two brothers must have really been going all out.

Max took it all in his stride as he crouched down next to Ethan, placing a gentle arm around his waist, "Come on mate, let's get you to your feet," he told him as he tentatively guided him to his feet.

Ethan winced in pain, but his breathing slowed a little as he stood upright. Between them, Zoe and Max got him inside.

As they carefully made their way through the ED, they heard a shout, "Ethan!" It was Cal.

Zoe turned towards the older brother, ready to explain how she had found Ethan, but a pained cry of "No," told her otherwise.

"I don't want to see him. He caused all this," Ethan ground out.

"He's just concerned mate, he is your brother after all," Max offered in the hope of diffusing the situation.

Zoe could see the concern evident on the older brother's face at hearing Ethan's accusation, "He's no brother of mine!" Ethan insisted as he tried to pull himself from their grasp, but only managed to nearly fall to the ground.

Although Zoe was shocked by the words, she kept her professional mask intact, "Look Cal, let us have a look at him, then we'll talk it through, ok?"

She could see that Cal didn't want to leave his brother, but equally, she was well aware that Ethan didn't want to see Cal at all at the moment. She felt sorry for Cal when she saw his eyes cloud with grief, but at that moment, Ethan was her patient and so her main concern.

She pulled the curtain around the cubicle as Max guided Ethan onto a bed. She quickly did the initial assessment, keeping an eye on the young doctor as he laid back with his eyes closed. Suddenly the curtain was pulled open to reveal Charlie, whom, unknown to Ethan, she had asked Max to fetch him earlier. He arrived with a portable scanner, which she used straight away, soon confirming Ethan's own diagnosis, "Ethan," she said quietly as she laid a hand on his arm. He came awake with a jolt, frantically looking round to get his bearings, "You were right Ethan, you have a cracked rib - a few days rest should have you back to normal in no time. A great excuse to be looked after by that brother of yours," she joked, but she also knew it would get a reaction - which it did.

"I don't want him anywhere near me ever again," Ethan insisted. Looking at the intense emotion on his face, Zoe would have believed it, if it hadn't been for the tears pooling in his normally kind eyes.

"Why would you say that? Is this something to do with the family thing that Charlie was talking about earlier?" She needed to get to the bottom of what was happening.

Ethan dropped his head, to cover his emotions as he nodded in confirmation.

"Look, I know Cal has his moments, but nothing can be that bad, surely?"

She knew she was pushing it, but the young doctor really needed to talk this through with someone.

"Oh you have no idea Zoe. I thought that nothing he could do anymore could bother me, but he's just taken first prize in the most useless brother competition," he all but spat out, as he leaned back and shut his eyes once more. Zoe was shocked! She looked across at Charlie, who looked as equally shocked as she was.

"He didn't mean to hurt you," Charlie began, but stopped when he saw Ethan's eyes snap open.

"That makes it alright then!" He replied bitterly.

Zoe stepped forward once more to place an oxygen mask over his face, "Take deep breaths - calm your breathing. Do you want to tell me about it?" she coaxed gently.

For a moment she thought he was going to shut down, but he didn't, he told her everything.

"Whoah," she breathed about ten minutes later, "That's pretty heavy..." she agreed as she watched numerous different expressions cross the younger man's face, "And did you mean it? Not being his brother anymore, did you mean it?"

Ethan burst into tears that wouldn't stop, "I did in that moment! I hate feeling like this all the time Zoe. There's always something with him - I always try to pick him up when he's down or hurting. I have stuff of my own going on which he doesn't know about because I was giving him space after Matilda - I didn't expect him to notice but I expected him to tell me about things that would have an impact on my life - and he didn't. He didn't think I was ready or so he said...I'm not five years old anymore..."

"But..." Zoe gently pushed.

"But...he's my brother - and I love him," he rubbed his hands over his face, "But I don't know if I can forgive him for this - does that make me a horrible person Zoe?"

Zoe sighed deeply as she glanced at Charlie, who was looking down at the floor. Before she could answer, the curtain opened, "Did I do this to you?" Cal asked him awkwardly.

Ethan didn't answer him, which was all Cal needed to know, "I'm so sorry Ethan. The last thing that I ever want to do is hurt you, please believe that. I know that I mess everything up, and everything you said to me is true. I was thinking about how I would tell you about Emilie, and how I would feel telling you the truth. I also know that you were so close to mum and I didn't want to ruin that until absolutely necessary..." The older sibling now had tears tracking down his cheeks, "Look I'll go - I'll quit the ED and I'll leave and you never have to see me again...but please know this - you are my little brother and I love you more than anything, even if I do make a pigs ear of showing it!"

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Zoe and Charlie feeling extremely emotional about what they had just heard. Ethan, on the other hand, was staring after his brother, an unreadable expression on his face. His wide eyes found Zoe's, "I don't want him to go..." was all he said before his face crumpled once more.

"Get some rest, I'll be back shortly," Zoe told him kindly, as she motioned for Charlie to follow her. She closed the curtain around the distraught young doctor and looked at one of her oldest friends, "Where do they go from here?" she asked the nurse.

"I wish I knew," he replied sadly.

And there you have it. I don't know how this will get sorted out and I am really sad about that. If I just knew that it was going to be sorted and they would be back to their brotherly best I could just about cope with this current estrangement - so if anyone hears any spoilers in that vein then please let me know.

It's not my best but I had to get it down before it kept me awake all night.