July 18th, 2010
Dear Diary,
Today I learned I'm a selfish person. I don't want to believe it, but, I am. Jesme made me realize that. All these tears I wish I could spill would be all over this page at the moment. I've never fought with Jesme like this before. It hurts…a lot. Maybe we just shouldn't be friends. I've become too much of a bitch over the years. No wonder no one likes me. I think I should perhaps leave the Coven for a little bit. Maybe go back home and go visit my gravestone…tell myself it would have been better if whoever it was that turned me made a mistake. I wish I could turn back time and undo all those times I hurt Jesme . The scars I bear are too much for me. How many times will it take for me to learn it's not about me? I guess the philosophy of making it about myself is still stuck in my head from when I was a nomad and living by myself and providing for myself without a single person in the world to care for except myself. I think it's about time I got off my high horse and make room for those I care about inside. *sigh* I've said I'm sorry a million times, but, I think what I've done is too unforgivable. Maybe when me and Leo go off to Paris I'll relax a little. Maybe not. I wish I knew. I think..I'm going to leave…it's better if I do. Leo, if you find this…I'm sorry and I love you.
Demi.