Am I Even worth it?
TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SELF HARM!
17 year old Serena Elizabeth Shepherd is Meredith's and Derek's fifth and youngest child. Serena walks into the house after school and isn't surprised to find that she is home alone. Mom and dad are at the hospital no doubt Serena assumes. Zola is 25 years old and is attending Medical school at Harvard much to Christina's liking. Bailey is 23 years old in the process of EMT training and has his own apartment a few blocks away. Ellis is 21 years old and attending college at Columbia in New York. Leaving 18 year old Christopher who is a senior in high school, and Serena who is a junior as the two Shepherd kids that still live at home.
Chris is a straight A student he balances 4 AP classes along with two sports along with a girlfriend. So he is rarely home before 6PM at the earliest. So like every day for the last month Serena comes home to an empty house. She is grateful that no one is home today though, because if people were here they would notice the tears and how upset she is.
Serena goes up to her room throwing her backpack on her bed pulling her phone out and putting her earbuds in and turns her music all the way up.
Ooh I'm a mess right now
Inside out
Searching for a sweet surrender
But this is not the end
I can't work it out
How?
Going through the motions
Going through us
And though I've known it for the longest time
And all my hope
All my words are all over written on the signs
But you're my road walking me home
Home, home, home, home
See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love
Oh oh easy baby maybe I'm a light
Before tonight I wanna fall in love
And put your faith in my stomach
I messed up this time
Late last night
Drinking to suppress devotion
With fingers intertwined
I can't shake this feeling now
We're going through the motions
Hoping you'd stop
And though I've only caused you pain
You know with all of my words
With were always beloved
Although all the lies spoke
When you're my road walking me home
Home, home, home, home
See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love
Oh easy baby maybe I'm a light
Before tonight I wanna fall in love
And put your faith in my stomach
And for how long I've loved my lover
For how long I've loved my lover
And now, now, for how long, long I've loved my lover
Now, now, for how long, long I've loved my lover
Now now, for how long, long I've loved my lover
(And I feel loved)
For how long, long I've loved my lover
Feel it all over now, now
And I feel love
For how long, long I've loved my lover
Feel it all over now, now
And I feel love
For how long, long I've loved my lover
Feel it all over now, now
And I feel love
For how long, long I've loved my lover
Feel it all over now, now
And I feel love
For how long, long I've loved my lover
I feel it all over now, now
And I feel love
For how long, long I've loved my lover, now now
For how long, long I've loved my lover
Serena tried to focus all of her energy on the song on Ed Sheeran's voice in an attempt to block out the world. But it was no use the fight she had with Noah earlier today is all she can seem to focus on.
Serena has been dating Noah Bends for the 5 months. Everything was fine in the beginning, maybe even perfect. He was sweet to her a true gentleman to say the least. They fell for each other fast, but then almost overnight it all changed. Noah has never been physically violent with her, and she knows he never will be. But what he does do is almost just as bad, he will go days sometimes a whole week without talking to her. And then when he finally talks to Serena he has a talent for picking on her insecurities making her feel absolutely worthless.
Serena slowly gets up unable to ignore the nagging thought in the back of her mind any longer. She walks over to her desk and grabs the small glass jar containing her pens. Pouring out the jar a small blade which the pens normally hide with ease, falls into her palm. Taking a deep breath and drags the blade across her skin and for a few moments at least all the pressure is gone.
AN OK SO I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING. I PROMISE I WILL HANDLE THE PROBLEM OF SELF HARM WITH THE CAREFULNESS AND RSPECT IT DESERVES! PLEASE REVIEW OR PM WITH YOUR THOUGHTS.