Disclaimer: Shin Seiki Evangelion is not mine. Sigh. Please just remember it 'coz I hate saying this. If it's mine. Then it'll be still going on until now….. I also do not own any of it's character, but I wish that they could be mine… I'll be happy if you give one of them to me… Just Shin-chan… please… I only desire something for myself once in a year… please…please…please… or------ I'll stop writing! ahemmm! I think your over-acting! As if they care if you do… your just a beginner… oh! You have a point… Must be going nuts! Talking to myself!
A/N: wow! This is my third ficciee in the Evangelion section…nn yah know guyz… I'm kinda inspired…hehe! even if I don't think that I have the guts to be a writer… huhuhu! by the way… about my other ficciee (Finding Chindi) don't worry one or two more Chappiees to go and it'll be finish!nn Guyz expect this ficciee to be very OOC 'coz it's on purpose…I really like ficciee with OOC characters… it's a different story, specially 'coz it has nothing to do/not connected/not related with the main story or any episodes of NGE/SSE… I'll just hope that you'll like it… yah know… just review---why? 'coz if you like a ficciee, you reviewed. Do it 'coz if you review my ficcie your nice…nn and I like nice people 'coz if your nice----your good!nn hehe... I'm such a babbler!
"An Upside Down Ficciee"by: summersnowflakes & winterbutterfly
Chapter one:Happiness: hmmm… I think I can count all of the happy memories that I experienced throughout my life. Funny but it's true. I'm maybe just an ordinary girl but I only experienced few pleasurable moments. Being happy is what I always want to be but whenever I smile I just thought that I can't really hide that lonely girl that is hiding behind those smiles. A lonely girl that is a jolly one. Every single person that I deal with, they always saying that I'm the most jolly and enthusiastic person that they ever saw.
Loneliness: this is the one that I can't really avoid, being lonely even if I smile all the time. It's just the only thing that I can think of to forget all the stuffs that I don't like to remember. I know I'm running away from it. I'm used from being a lonely girl even now that I'm 19 years old. I only graduated last month. I know that my mother and grandma will be very proud of me. I just wish that my father… duh! How could I ever wish that my father would be proud of me. He's nothing but a stupid father for me! Running away from his responsibilities!….—as if I'm not running away as well.
Contentment: everything in my life sets on that word, for I know that's what I am. Contented. I'm really contented living all by myself. Facing this world all alone. Love? I fell in love once but he hurt and broke my heart. I think I'm not yet ready to open my door for a new one. Well, I often dream of a more successful life. Actually a want to be a successful composer and popular singer… but look at me now, working as a waitress on a Fancy Restaurant. At least the money that I earn is just enough for me to pay the apartment, where I currently live.
Again it's another typical day for me to start. Going to a certain Fancy Restaurant to serve different kinds of people. I think it's just the right job for me 'coz I'm a jolly person. That's why many people were coming back specially when I'm the one who serve them. I'm living at an apartment here in Kyoto. I'm just a 19 years old lady that is living all by herself for a month now. Well, I'm kinda used to this. Most of all I'm with my big companion here. He's the only one that I can talk to. He is the one who's listening to me every time that I'm complaining. Actually he is recording it, hehe. He's with me when I'm happy, lonely, scared and when I feel that I'm facing this world all alone. He is 'Tedskiee'. Yeah! He's a bear, specifically a teddy bear recorder.
'Tedskiee' is my birthday present that is given by my mother when I was 3 years old. About my parents, my mother died from a serious disease. My father? Well, he left us, me and my mother when I was only months old. My mother didn't had the chance to explain everything to me about my father. The truth is I don't know his name or even his face of course.
All I know is that I have to be strong and tough enough. Sometimes we all need to take the blows, wounds and bruises to stay on top because that's life and it's a dirty game. First, you have to experience loneliness for you to achieve happiness.
Well, after my mother died, my grandma (her mother) is the one who took care of me. She is very kind and gentle. I love 'granniee' very much. I usually call her by that pet-name. Actually she is the one who told me to be strong. She said that I don't have to cry specially if I'm only physically hurt. The time came that she is slowly being weak, maybe 'coz she's too old. Three of us only live on that Glass House. Yes… it's a glass house. Me, granniee and the maid, Miaka. So my grannine decided to give me to my Aunt Suzuka. I don't know why but Miaka said that my granniee can't take it anymore and with Aunt Suzuka I'll have a good life 'coz her husband was granniee's son. And granniee told me that my Uncle was really kind.
But I didn't had a good life when I'm with my Aunt. She didn't treat me like her real daughter. She said that because she's the one who's giving me food I have to pay for that, so she told me that I have to work as a maid. Being a fool, I agreed. Good thing 'coz I know how to cook, clean the house and all of that stuff that the maid usually does. Well, there are two maids in her house, me and the one is Misaki. Misaki was very kind. She is 4 years older that me. I'm 10 years old when my granniee decided to give me to my precious Aunt! I'm working and studying at the same time. I didn't say anything to my granniee 'coz I don't want her to worry.
There is a time when I have to study first before doing my chores 'coz the next day is our quarter examinations. Yah know I want to be the 1st honor 'coz I want my granniee to be proud of me. Well, when I said if I can do that first she said that I don't need to do that and that chores in the house are supposed to be the one that I should deal with. But… I kinda disobeyed her, so when she saw that Misaki was doing all the routine task, she rushes forward to my room ahemm! At the 'attic' then she get my reviewers away from me then she tore all of it. After doing that to my reviewer she turned her attention to me. She started slapping me several times at the face. How dare she! Being the good girl that I am, I didn't fight back! But-----I didn't also cry. Yah know… I know that she is only insecure 'coz I'm smarter that her daughter Yuki.
The next day came, it's our examination at school. Well, lucky me 'coz even if my Aunt or should I say boss tore all of my reviewers I can still answer all of the questions. A week later, I'm the highest ranking at our class again! Everyone congratulated me except for Yuki of course. Yah know, she's just jealous 'coz I get all the attention specially from her crush, Taka. Most of all, she's only second when it comes to this kinds of stuff. So… when I came closer to her, I extended my right arm forward which means that I would like to congratulate her as well but I know that she'll do it, she run away out of the classroom with tears in her eyes. Even if I'm not in home yet, I already know what will happen later when I arrive.
I'm kinda excited to tell the good news to Misaki. So when I arrive I decided to take the path at the back instead at the front door that leads to the living room. I'm not in the good mood to deal with Yuki and my stu--- I mean precious Aun--- Sigh. Boss. The back door leads the way to the kitchen where Misaki is. When I opened the door, Oh God! Did yah know who welcome me? My precious Aunt! Haha… and with a slap that almost gives me my first kiss, the ground. I can't believe it! I'm the top ranking student in class and this is still what I receive! Un fair! Maybe it's a gift! A precious gift from my precious
boss! Being again the stupid girl, I apologized! Gggrrrr! Lucky her 'coz I can still control my temper.
When I was going to my room, I passed on her but the torture is not yet done. She pulled my hair towards her then she said something, like next time I have to be second only in school that I have to give the top to her lovely daughter! What a selfish woman! She also told me that from now on I have to eat once everyday. Well, good thing 'coz I'm on a diet. Then she let go of my hair by pushing my head forward. Again it's the chance for me to have my first kiss, the floor. I wish that she just bumped my head into something so that I can forget all of this unpleasant things that are happening to me. But I know that I can still continue my almost ridiculous life and go on.
After nodding my head while my back is facing her I made my way to the stairs but before that I saw Misaki softly saying 'don't mind her' I just smiled, she smiled back and I continue my way to my little room. There I recorded everything to my only best friend, Tedskiee. hehe… I recorded all of it with a happy tone on my voice. Even how terrible it is I always make sure that even a single tear will not escape my eyes. I'm happy 'coz my granniee taught me how to be strong and brave but at the same time to be a jolly and cheerful one. But---- even how cheerful I am I know when I can't take it anymore. Those tortures were only physical pains that I know I don't have to surrender. Fight when fight. As long as I can, I will! Then the moment came…
It's the day of my birthday, Dec. 3, 1997 um… guyz same date but not the year… hehe… when the most traumatic day of my life happened… tomorrow I'll be 11 years old. It's the worst thing that I ever received on my birthday as a present. It's a letter from Miaka. My… granniee died… now I know the reason why she didn't answered back on my letter. I only wish for once in a year, only in my birthday and that is to be with my granniee. I'm so disappointed, really.. but I can't blame anyone even God 'coz I know that it's my granniee's time. I just wanted to be with her… even for a single hour, minute? Or even a second. I almost break down but--- again I didn't cry. I celebrated it with my Tedskiee and Misaki. I really tried to be happy that day but---- I really can't…
1 week later, it is now my granniee's burial. I borrowed a simple black
dress from my classmate. Well, I don't have any black dress. So I hurriedly dressed then I went down. I went to the living room. There I saw Aunt precious and my caring cousin. I don't know but they seems to be happy. I asked them if we will be now going? They just… ahemm! Laugh! The caring one said, 'what's that? Why are you dressed in black?' Then the precious continued, 'yeah! It's my daughter's birthday. Faster! Change your clothes 'coz you have to cook and to prepare the food and later on her friends and classmate will come.' Oops! I forgot it's caring's birthday and I think they didn't know my granniee died. Well, I don't care!
The truth is from the first place my granniee didn't want the attitude of precious 'coz her son was my Uncle. My granniee didn't know that my Uncle died almost many years ago 'coz precious didn't told her about that. Yah know, she' that kind! She didn't like granniee as well. Now she's telling me that I have to do the cooking for her caring daughter's birthday! Hey! Are she crazy! I told her that it's my granniee's burial, you know what she said? 'Good!' slap I slapped her for the first time. Being the good-natured she slap me back while pulling me to the kitchen.
There she told me to cook some food. Misaki's not there 'coz she's on a vacation. She keeps on pulling me by hair on the front of the stove. She said, 'Now! Cook!' again for the first time I said 'no', for the first time I disobeyed her. It's too much! She suddenly ordered caring to get the scissors. Caring handed her the scissors then she began to cut my long hair. I didn't care. She's keep on saying, 'Cook! Or I'll do much worse!' and I keep on saying 'no' as well. Now, she's beginning to cut my dress. 'If you'll not cook I'll sent you with your stupid granniee now!' she said my granniee is 'stupid'! now I really can't take it anymore… I saw a knife near the stove and I quickly grabbed it then I moved backward before pointing the knife to her. Then I saw caring that is really trembling now. I cannot come close to precious 'coz she had a scissor with her so I quickly grabbed caring's hand then I moved her in my front while pointing the knife on her neck. 'If you'll not let me go, I'll kill caring! I mean… Yuki! I don't want to come back here anymore…'
After that I ordered precious to get my 'Tedskiee' while I'm still holding caring with a knife that is pointed on her neck. After that I released caring then I run away with Tedskiee on my arms. I proceeded to the cemetery that Miaka said in the letter. I came closer to the grave where my sweet granniee is. That's the time when I tear escaped my eyes… followed by another one. Soon many tears were flowing freely on my face. My granniee is the only person that has been so closed to me. I wiped my tears then I promised my granniee that I'll be a strong girl. I maybe will face this world alone again but I know there's someone's watching over me. My granniee said that when my mother died she is watching me down here from up there, in the heaven. And now------- two of them were watching me now. So I dedicated this song that I composed for both of them.
A/N: I do not own the song 'Someone's Watching Over Me' by: Hilary Duff.
Found my self today Oh I found myself and run away Something pulled me back The voice of reason I forgot I had All I know is just you're not here to stay What you always used to say But it's written in the sky, tonightSo I won't give up No I won't break down Sooner than it seems life turns around So I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe Someone's watching over me
Seen that ray of light And it's shining on my destiny Shining all the time and I won't be afraid To follow everywhere it's taking me All I know is yesterday is gone All right now I belong
Took this time to my dreams
So I won't give upNo I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
So I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe Someone's watching over me It doesn't matter what people say And it doesn't matter how long it takesBelieve in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I won't give upNo I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
So I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe Someone's watching over me So I won't give upNo I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
So I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe Someone's watching over meI still continue my life living in the streets of Kyoto. With only Tedskiee by my side. I don't know but there are people who's dropping money in front of me. I'm pathetic, I look like a beggar. So I decided to buy a pen and some papers. Tomorrow is Christmas. I'm here, all alone spending Christmas eve all by myself for the first time. I'm just there, sitting beside the street while looking at the happy families that were passing by. Somehow I felt jealousy, I really want to cry. But--- even a single tear can't fall. I wanted to scream but--- even a single word can't escaped my mouth. My body wants to break down because of the cold but---my heart says that I have to go on, I have to continue my disgusting life. While families were exchanging gifts, saying Merry Christmas to everyone that they love. Finally the tear again escaped my eye when I saw an old lady with a small girl beside her. They look like very happy. It really reminded me of granniee and me last Christmas. But--- look at me, recording everything to my Tedskiee but with a cheerful voice. I also decided to compose a song that I will dedicate to myself.
A/N: I do not also own the song 'Nobody's Home' by: Avril Lavigne
I couldn't tell youWhy she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watch her make
The same mistake again
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes, broken inside
Open your eyes and look outside
Find a reason why
You've been rejected
And now you can't findWhat you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes, broken inside
Her dreams she can't find.
Her feelings she hides.
She's losing her mind.
She's
fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing
her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the
place.
Yeah, oh
She wants to go home but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes, broken inside
She's lost inside, lost inside…
She's lost inside, lost inside…I didn't notice that I fell asleep after I wrote that song. Well, after I woke up I notice that I'm lying in a small bed. I moved into a sitting position and then I eyed the whole room. It was only small but you'll notice that it's a room of a girl. Almost all of the things that you can be seen here were colored in pink. Then a girl same as my age I guess,
entered the room with a bowl in her both hands. I look at her bewilderedly then she smiled back at me. Well, she has long brown her with a tan skin. I noticed that my hair is neatly cut but much shorter
and my clothes were new. She came closer to me while saying, 'um… hello! Well, me and my mother saw you sleeping there. We thought you were dead but I noticed that you were still breathing, so we decided to take you home. Your currently here in my room. Do you have any home? Why are you sleeping at the sidewalk? Why are you alone? What's your name?' of course I told her all that happened after it's very kind of her to welcome me here in their little home.
Many years passed and we became very closed. She and her mother treated me like her real sister and daughter. Their kind, good-natured and generous. Finally we graduated. Now we have to take our own paths. We decided to go away from our mother but still have a connection to each other. Now 'Hikari' went to Tokyo. We only separated for one month until now. When, I'm getting ready 'coz I have to go to my work, I suddenly received a letter from her. The letter is given by the owner of the apartment Mrs. Urashima. I hurriedly opened it. Well, she said that she is now one of the managers of an Entertainment Industry, she's holding male and female singers or dancers and she wanted to recommend me to a popular manager. She also said that it's my chance to become a 'popular singer' and a successful composer. She also said that I'm going to composed for a popular male singer. Wow! I liked that!
She gave me a train ticket for one to Tokyo. She said that I have to arrive there tomorrow. Well, it's hard to leave everything here behind but--- I don't want to let go of this big opportunity that's waiting for me. It's my chance! Hahahaha! So tomorrow, slowly my dreams
are coming true…
The next day came and later on I'll begin my little journey to Tokyo. I said farewells and goodbyes to all of my friends and all of the people that have been close to me in a month. Some of them were crying with tears of joy. They said that good luck and to take care of myself. I'm at the train station now. Finally the train that leads to Tokyo arrive. I can't wait to see Hikari again. By the way, I still didn't introduced myself. Well, I a teenage girl that loves trying adventures… hehe. Now I have a long fiery hair that reaches my waist. Lucky me 'coz my hair did grew fast. I have a pale skin but not that pale 'coz I'll look like a dead. I'm kinda tall. I have an azure colored eyes. I don't know but people were saying that I really don't look like much of a Japanese but they say that I'm beautiful. Hehe… I think so. By the way I'm 'Asuka Langley Soryu'. I'm here at a train with Tedskiee in my arms. Actually many people were looking at me. Maybe their questioning themselves that me, a lady is holding a big teddy bear like I'm holding a child, is a crazy one. I don't care. Think what they want to think but me, I'm happy that I have a companion who never left me. Of course he can't walk! Well, I'll just sleep for a while while I'm waiting for the train to arrive at the station. "sweet dreams Tedskiee, I thinks it's good if you'll also sleep…" as if Tedskiee will answer. Hehe.
---END OF CHAPTER ONE---
A/N: that's it guyz…! Chappiee one's done! it's kinda long, I don't know but it's Ate Kathiee's idea. Actually it's my challenge for her but she decided to get some help from me. I don't know but she said that she wanted for the readers to know Asuka's past in this ficciee. You know she's super OOC here! As in! but I like her that way! She's strong but at the same time she's gentle and very friendly despite of her past… Please R&R… nn hahahahaha!
Ja ne!
Summersnowflakes & Winterbutterfly