DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
I've been looking all over the building for my partner. I didn't know whether to be worried or annoyed. He didn't come to the office at all and he wasn't answering his phone. Was this one of his famous ditches or did something happen to him?
I turned around towards the sound of elevator doors opening and relief washed over me: there he was, safe and sound.
"There you are. I've been looking all over for you," I said while joining him in the elevator. I observed him carefully, still trying to decide whether to comfort or reprimand him for his absence.
"Hi. Um, I'm sorry," he said awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact: "I had a doctor's appointment and, um, I don't know, I guess time just got away from me."
"Is anything the matter?" I asked him, definitely settling for my comfort mode. I felt a bit hurt that he went to another doctor without even consulting me first, but he was so clearly distressed that I decided to put away my feelings for a while and offer him unconditional support.
"Nothing. No, I just, uh... I went for a walk."
Nothing? Well, "nothing" wouldn't make my partner act like a child that just got caught steeling candy. I felt relieved though, as at least "nothing" didn't sound to be life threatening. His reactions weighted more on the embarrassing side, stuff like hemorrhoids or impotence and such that is not easy or even appropriate to discuss with your business partner, even when she happens to be a medical doctor or a personal friend.
"Then what's wrong?" I pressed him, not willing to let some trivial discomfort come between us. Besides, as his doctor I had a right to know.
Mulder sighed heavily, closely examining something on his shoes.
"I'm..." he started: "I'm sorry I haven't told you. I don't know why I haven't. I mean, you were always there for me during my illness but, um..." he was having trouble continuing.
"Don't make me guess," I told him softly with a small smile as I leaned closer to him, trying to reassure him that it is indeed ok to talk to me, whatever the hell it is that's bothering him.
"I was left unable to reproduce with whatever tests that they did on me," he finally admitted: "And I am not ready to accept that I will never have children."
His admission left me paralyzed for a second and I seemed to had forgotten how to breathe, but then the elevator doors opened with a ding and I walked out on the auto pilot. I turned around as I noticed that he wasn't following me. The doors started to close between us and I grabbed them with my shaking hands to keep them open. I felt exactly like Mulder felt just a few seconds ago, as it was my turn to share something that was hard and devastating to acknowledge.
"Mulder, there's, um, there's something I haven't told you either and I hope you, uh, forgive me and understand why I would have kept it from you."
"What?" he looked at me surprised.
"During my search for you Diana's card gave me access to different kind of labs. Strange things were going on there, Mulder, but I didn't have much time to examine or make sense of it at the time, as I had to find you before it was too late… There was one room with samples though, and your name was among them. Your sperm was taken from you and stored in that lab."
"What?" he looked at me in shock and disbelief. The elevator door started to close again and this time it was his hand that came to keep it open: "You found it?"
"I took it directly to lab to check if it was ok."
"I don't believe this."
"Mulder, you were deathly ill, and I... I couldn't bear to give you another piece of bad news."
"Is that what it was?" he looked at me, hurt beyond measure: "It was bad news?"
"Mulder, the sperm wasn't viable," I admitted. I don't know whatever possessed me to check it in the first place. There was no reason to suspect that they would leave him barren, but they did take a sample after all, so maybe they planned to use it as blackmail or something. Were they making children with Mulder's sperm like they did with my ova? I wouldn't be able to bear to watch him go through with something like what I went through with Emily. But my ova were not all taken and I was definitely not left barren. I had a chance to have other children, something that was taken away from Mulder, forever. The sample I found wouldn't matter that much and I would never have to tell him about it if it didn't come to this. I never expected this to happen.
"Well, Scully, you are not a specialist," he told me, his voice noticeably colder: "I want a second opinion."
With that, he pushed the button and the doors started to close. I reached to hold them back, but his look sent me a clear message to back off. To fuck off, more precisely. Reluctantly, I released the doors and let him go. He had a lot to process. He needed some time to himself and I could give it to him. I owned it to him. I knew he would come back to me in the end. He always does.