Beyond the Veil

(takes place directly after that chapter in Order of the Phoenix)

Pain exploded in his chest as Sirius lay in a crumpled heap on a cold stone floor. He couldn't breath, and his heart was racing. He tried turning himself over, but to no avail. He lay there knowing that death was only a few seconds away. His heart slowed, and slowed until it was only a faint, irregular beating. This is it, I'm dying, he thought as his vision blurred and slowly turned black.

Sirius opened his eyes and blinked a few times before he realized what had happened. He wasn't dead; he was just as real as the floor he lay on. The stones reminded him of the battle. His head shot up, and he found himself in the same room. His body tensed, waiting for the danger. Nothing. There was nothing. He looked around to find the same arch in the middle; only this one didn't have a veil. His head started to pound from the sudden movements.

He slowly looked around, trying to find Harry, or Dumbledore, or even Bellatrix. The quietness was almost suffocating, and he felt more alone than he had every felt, including time in Azkaban.

"Harry?" He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. The sound echoed off the walls before dying away. No one answered him.

"Albus?"

Nothing.

"Remus?"

Nothing.

Panic crept over him. Slowly he tried to stand, but the sharp pain that sliced through his abdomen prevented him.

"Yes, Sirius Black, you are alone… In the human sense." Said a faint woman's voice.

Sirius's skin jumped. He looked everywhere for the speaker of the voice, and couldn't see anyone. The pain again increasing from movement, he was really beginning to regret egging Bellatrix on.

"Do not move, you will have all the answers in due time," She said as he now saw a faint outline forming as it moved across the room. A woman started to materialize in front of him, slowly fading in and out until it was completed. He looked upon a woman whose skin was the color of the moon, whose hair was darker than night, and whose eyes he couldn't even look into; they were solid black with all the stars of the heavens in them.

"Who are you?" He croaked out, feeling very stupid. He had an urgent thought telling him that she shouldn't be talking to her, for he was not worthy. All he should do was look into the eyes, and all would be right in the world.

"Do not look up." She said sternly, as she saw his head move. "I am many things, and one is the sender of people. You will not look into my eyes until you are ready." Her voice was so final, and the small voice in his head was drowned out by it.

Sirius nodded, head bowed. He had some understanding of what would happen to him if he did, but that could only mean one thing…

"No, Sirius Black, you are not dead." She said bringing him much hope. She held her hand out to him, to help him he. He took it graciously, and noticed that the pain subdued. She did not deal with situations like this a lot, but she knew he would need time to understand it.

He tried to find a smile somewhere, that this was all a joke and he would be going back to his house to find everyone there and lots of food waiting. She gave a small nod, and he fell to his knees. His hand slipped out of hers and she moved towards the arch. It was quiet for a long time before he broke the silence.

"What the hell am I?" He said his voice void of all emotion. He had gone past shock into a dark hole known as apathy.

"You are one of the few to stop between life and death."

He looked up at her, but avoided her eyes. He was tired of asking questions, but needed answers desperately. "Who are you?"

She, for the first time, smiled, "Am I many things. Fate, Destiny, and most of all Death are a few of the titles I have been given. I am a keeper, sender, and bringer of life, death, and everything in between."

Sirius nodded, he was here because he wasn't meant to die yet, and he wasn't meant to live. If he had been anywhere else right now, he could have found the humor in this situation. "I wouldn't be here unless I was meant to…" he said figuring out, or at least trying to get something out of her cryptic answers. "Your destiny and fate."

She nodded, encouraging him.

"I will not be seeing anyone I love again, will I Lady Death?" He asked in a mocking tone.

She didn't answer, but turned around to face the veil. "In this time, you will be allowed to view your life as you've lived it so far. At the end, your fate will be decided."

Sirius nodded, because he had nothing to say. He would die when the show of his life was over, and most of these memories he didn't want to relive.

She moved her hand across the arch and a picture started to move. It swirled, and doubled over itself until it stopped on the picture of a mother and her baby boy. Sirius couldn't speak as he recognized the mother. It was his mother, and that little baby was himself.

He was having a little difficulty adjusting to the way this "movie" played. It was like watching a memory in your head, but you weren't seeing it in your minds' eye.

The mother started to rock to sleep the baby as she hummed a song. It was an old lullaby. The film moved until he could see the rest of the room; his mother was sitting in a closet trying to get him to sleep. He thought this was very odd, and turned to ask Lady Death.

"Just watch…"

He closed his mouth annoyed; he didn't like people who could have access to his own personal thoughts.

He turned back to the movie as he heard a thumping, like someone walking up the stairs. It got quicker, and he realized that she, his mother, was in the closet under the stairs.

"Ah know yer in here, women! Ya cannot hide from me fer ever ya know, Ah'll find you!" screamed an angry male voice. "Ah always find ya! Ya think you can hide from me? Ah'll show ya!"

The women started to whisper and rock the baby, as tears fell down her cheek. The stomping grew louder, and then slowly died away as a door slammed. The woman smiled, "Everything's ok, everything's all right." she whispered to him. He doubted whether she was trying to convince baby Sirius or herself.

He turned away, "Enough." he said gruffly. He didn't like his younger childhood when both of his parents had been around; things hadn't been very good.

She nodded, "We will move quickly through this time, for we do have a lot to cover." She raised her hand and moved it in the same strange motion. Time sped forward, and it looked as if someone had pressed the fast forward button on a VCR.

Sirius was still wondering why he was being shown his past, but didn't get to ask her before the next scene started. It was the day he started Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

He looked on to the face of a young boy. Himself, he still had a weird feeling about watching himself, but he let it slip away as he sat down to watch.

The young Sirius climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express, and bumped into another boy.

Sirius deadpanned, "I remember that, it was the day I first met James." he said to Lady Death. "We were inseparable after that."

She nodded, and simply said, "We've met."

Sirius didn't venture on about her remark, he had rather not know. He looked over at her again, and shivered. He still didn't look in her eyes, but he could tell that the stars changed and moved. It was hair-raising to watch. "What is your name? I mean, besides Lady Death or whatever?"

"Azrael."

He turned back to the arch. He and James had now found another boy who was looking for a place to sit.

Sirius's face fell. "Remus," he said slowly. He had already learned to deal with the loss of James, but Remus was too raw. They had been his brothers, more than his real one ever could be.

Then onto the screen came another little boy. He was easy excited, and looked as if one punch could break him in two. He sat down.

"The four…" Azrael said, kind of questioning him.

Sirius nodded. He would have loved to have never met Peter. Seeing it from the beginning, he would have never guessed. Nonetheless, he blamed himself entirely.

He focused his attention back on the "movie". He was at school now, and was at the start of term feast.

"James!" hissed a young Sirius as Dumbledore started his speech. "My mum taught me this, watch!"

James nodded, and watched as Sirius levitated two goblets full of pumpkin juice. James started to laugh, as the floated over to one greasy haired kid at the Slytherin table. They started to move up higher, to right over his head.

"Sirius!" Remus said, yelling at him. That broke his concentration, and the two goblets came crashing down on the poor kid.

Everyone had heard Remus and had turned their attention onto a young Severous Snape as he became soaked in pumpkin juice.

The Great Hall roared with laughter as the poor kid looked mortified. A few fellow Slytherin's stood up to challenge Sirius, but Dumbledore intervened.

"What is this?" He said, his voice bringing silence to the room. "Inter-house rivals already? So be it. Detention," he said turning to focus his eyes on Sirius, who was trying not to laugh, and not doing a very good job, "Sirius Black."

The older Sirius smiled. That had been his first prank on Snivellus. "I… remember that!" He finally got out. He laughed, and it sounded as if a dog was barking.

"Do you remember why you did it?" She asked him.

"I was looking for a laugh, plus that kid had annoyed me earlier on the train." Sirius said, attempting to justify his answer.

Her lips thinned, she was not the yelling type, but it still had the same effect. "You would torture that poor kid for years, all because you were looking for a laugh."

Sirius had no answer. He didn't like being ridiculed, "And why do you care?"

"Do not think that you, a mortal man, matter more than any of the other finite beings on earth." Her normally even, ethereal voice now reprimanded Sirius.

Sirius ignored her and looked back at the arch. He, James, Remus, and Peter were having a typical potions class… or it was supposed to be.

"Everything set, James?" Remus asked nervously. James smiled, and gave him a thumb's up. He then turned to Sirius, and asked the same. He got the same answer.

"Good luck." Sirius mouthed. Remus just gave him a weak smile. Their entire plan was riding on him now.

"P-professor?" Remus said quietly. "I… I don't feel so well, I think I should go see Madam Pomphrey."

The potions professor made her way towards Remus, muttering curses all the way. She was old, lazy, and seemed to really dislike all life forms. "Now what did you want?" she asked angrily.

"I…I think I'm going to be sick." He said, faking his best sick look. He had some good ones, but this one was killer.

Sirius snuck out of his chair, and went behind the Professor's desk and grabbed a bottle of green slimy stuff. He ran back to his seat, and dumped half of it in the cauldron that was simmering. He grinned, proud of his work, and passed the rest to James. He did the same, and both cauldrons's started to bubble over.

"Look, I don't just send anybody - what are you kids giggling about?" she spat the last words out, spraying the poor kid that sat in the front.

The green slim had now turned gray, and was making both cauldrons overflow with little gray bubbles.

"Stupid children! What have you done?"

The class started to laugh as the bubbles took shapes and danced around the room. The Professor was now red in the face; she had her wand out and was zapping the bubble creatures.

Sirius started laughing again as one of the bubble monsters shaped like a dog was attacking Snape. "That was a pretty good one too."

Azrael turned away from him, "Not all of your memories are going to make you laugh."

Sirius, of course, already knew this. He was just trying to make the best of the situation. "Why does ol' Snivellus matter to you so much anyway?"

"In due time, you will know." She was back to her regular, cryptic ways.

He snorted, and ignored her as he watched the rest.

"Wait up guys! I dropped my book!" James called out to his friends that he was walking with. It was of course Remus, Peter, and Sirius.

They all turned around and watched as his grabbed the book, and ran into a fellow Gryffindor girl.

"Uff!" James said as he knocked into her and fell backwards. "Sorry!"

The girl, who also fell over, made the same noise. "It's ok," she said lying on her back. "I don't think I've hurt myself too bad."

James helped her up, and got a very funny look on his face as he saw the girl. She had long red hair, and green eyes. "Will… Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, surprising everybody.

Remus and Peter were dumbfounded as Sirius started to laugh.

"No! I don't even know you!" she glared at him and walked off to her class.

James just smiled at her, and walked back to his group of friends. He was very proud of himself for asking her.

"Nice going James, you almost had her there." Sirius said sarcastically. He was finding much amusement out of this, and hoped it lasted a long time.

"Do you even know her name?" Remus said, still a little shocked. He had never seen anyone make a bigger fool out of himself.

Peter smiled stupidly, because he just couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make him look like a bigger git than he already was.

James smiled as he started walking to where they had been headed in the first place: the Great Hall. After a few minutes of walking alone in his own little world, he realized there were others with them. "I have a girlfriend." he said conversationally to them.

"Sure you do, Potter." Sirius said, still with a big grin.

It had gone on for weeks that James was "going out" with Lily before she finally cornered him one day.

"James Potter if you don't stop telling people that we are going out I'm going to… I'm going to turn you into a toad!" she yelled at him after a day of following her around, singing poetry to her. She was still blushing from one rather explicit poem.

"Lily Evans," he said mocking her tone of voice, "I'm getting the feeling you don't want to be my girlfriend anymore…"

"I'M NOT!"

"Lily," he went on as if she hadn't said anything, "I think we might have some problems-"

"When did you figure that out?!" She was fuming now, and most people around her could have sworn there was smoke coming out of her ears.

"-I'm thinking we should break it off." he gave a weak smile as she glared at him. "So, what I'm trying to say is, that you're not my girlfriend anymore."

Lily turned a dark crimson, and started to shake, "I NEVER WAS!" she roared.

James still didn't hear her. "Ok, well see you around Lily." he smiled, and started to walk away, but turned around as if he remembered something, "Oh yeah, and I would like to still be friends, you know?"

Lily didn't answer but stormed off in the other direction, muttering curses all the way. One of her friends, who was trying not to laugh, followed her after asking James one question.

"Are you… were you serious?"

"No, no, no," he said, with a polite smile, "Sirius is my friend. I'm James."

She looked dumbstruck, and all she could do was nod, and run after her friend Lily.

Sirius smiled and started to laugh. That had to be one of the funniest moments in his life, which included the time Horus Dentley chugged twenty Butterbeers and was foaming at the mouth for a week.

"Was… James, I believe his name was, always that stupid?" Azrael asked. That particular memory had got a smile out of her too.

"People do stupid things when they're in love…" he replied more serious than she had seen him since the memories had started. "James was no exception to that."

She nodded. "He must have been a great friend."

Sirius fidgeted. "Can we just get on with the next one?" He didn't like talking about it, and it seemed worse now.

She nodded again, and they both focused their attention on the next memory.

A/N-

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I kind of wish I did sometimes, but alas. All the credit is due to JK Rowling.

So this story takes place following the chapter "Beyond the Veil" In Order of the Phoenix. This plot has been circling in my head for years now, and I actually wrote this part a long time ago as well. I am hoping to finally be able to put the entire thing up- as I have planned it spanning Sirius' life. Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Let me know what you guys think. ~A.D.