If you love someone let them go
Four years have past since that night. The night on which you professed your love to me. The night on which I left you and took your heart with me.
Flashback
It was a cloudless night, the moon shone with all its glory. It shone on your beautiful face as you stood under the cherry tree watching it's innocent blossoms float into the clear, jade water of the pond below. Watching as the little flowers made the calm water make small ripples in the water as it floats down onto it.
The Japanese garden was exquisite. Although it paled in comparison to your beauty. All I could do was stand there and watch you. Your long silky blue hair flowed around you with the gentle and soothing spring breeze. Your crystal clear blue eyes shone with a light that rivaled that of the moon that night. Every time you smile at me, I feel whole. Every time you touch me, I feel weak. Maybe that's why I jerk away from your touch. Then you give me that look that breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Suddenly, you turned in my direction from your spot under the tree. You called out my name. Hearing your smooth voice made my heart skip and made me unable to breath. You came to me and pulled me under the cherry tree with you. Then you smiled and looked into my soul and broke down my walls with your shining blue eyes. You told me that you wanted to tell me something that you have wanted to tell me for a long time.
Then you said it.
'I Love You Kai'.
Those were the four words that I dreaded to hear. Those were also the four words that my mother had said to me so long ago. Fears of loosing you forever like I lost my mother overwhelmed me. I have not realized it at the time, but heavy tears ran down my face as I turned my back and ran from you. I ran from the only person that has ever loved me. As I run, my whole life played out before me. As if god wanted to punish me, heavy rain fell from the stars. I decided to go back to Russia, back to the Abbey.
The Abbey was the only home that I had after mother died. Since Voltaire and Boris has been locked up behind bars, Tala and the D-boys refurnished the place and made it their home. They told me I was always welcome. They told me that they were my brothers, always. Therefore, I ran back to the only family that I have been able to accept and who has able to accept me.
End of Flashback
There are things that I long to say to you. To apologize for the things that happened between us that I regret and wish never happened. Maybe I will get that chance tonight. I wonder if you hate me now, after running away from my feeling for you, and you. I am a coward. I ran away from the only thing that I was ever certain of. I miss how you make me feel warm, like summer days, inside whenever you laugh or smile. You are strong and I am weak. You told me that you loved me and I ran away. Sometimes I just want to sweep you into my arms and never let go. That way, I will know that you can never get away. Although I was the one that pushed you away in the end.
I have hidden behind my mask that was forged by fear. I fear that one day, someone will destroy my walls and make me feel naked and jaded. I did not want anyone to claim that they loved me. Then stab me in the back when I wasn't looking, like my mother did. She told me that she loved me. Where was she when Voltaire came to take me away. She just stood there and let him take me. I remember what she told me. She told me that I was going on a little vacation, that she would come to take me home after a while with Grandpa. I waited and waited. Nobody came. The next I heard of her was when Voltaire told me of her death. I was lead to her funeral. I stood in front of her casket and stared into her lifeless face. She never came. She never cared. From that day forward, I always felt alone. No one ever cared. I was just that strange quiet boy at the back of the room. Nobody ever bothered to try to know me, and I didn't care much of what they thought. They didn't need me and I didn't need them. You are different from anyone I have ever met. You made me feel that I am needed. Even when I betrayed you over and over, you forgave me. After all that I did, will You forgive me this time?
As I gaze up into the sky, I see the same moon as the one four years ago this very night. It is shining as brightly as ever. I wonder if your eyes still shine like the moon. I make my way into the garden with the cherry tree and jade pond. Then I see you standing under the cherry tree. You are still as beautiful and maybe even more so than four years ago. You still have that light in your eyes as you gaze up into the moon. I just stood there with tears in my eyes. Just like before, you walk towards me and with your head down and your long hair covering your beautiful eyes. I fear that you will slap me across the face and tell me that you never want to see me again. That is what I deserve for leaving you because of my cowardly actions for fearing love.
My breath hitched as you moved closer and closer, closing the distance between us. You were almost flush against me when you stopped and lifted your face. I saw tears in your beautiful eyes, but you smiled at me. I had tears running down my face at that moment. Then you pulled me into your arms and whispered into my ears.
'You came back to me.'
'Tyson, do you still love me?' I whispered.
You pushed me away and looked into my eyes and said:
'I will always love you. No matter what.'
'How can you love me after all that I did. I am a coward. I ran away.' I started to shout through my tears. Still not believing that you would love me so.
'You will always be my Kai. My strong shining phoenix. And you know what they say'
'If you love someone let them go. and if they come back they were always yours to love.'
The End