Driving in Reverse

Author's Note: Inspired by Selena Gomez's My Dilemma. Nonlinear. At times cute, at times frustrating. The title, well, hopefully you get it. Just because you're moving forward in time doesn't mean you're moving forward in a relationship.

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.

When you're young and in love, the little things matter the most. A kiss by the lockers, a picnic at sunset, a head nod in the hallway - they mean so much. But once you're all grown up, the big things start to matter more. Like, why didn't you spend more on my engagement ring? Why couldn't you take off work to travel Europe with me? Where were you when we were supposed to go to our 10th high school reunion?

Beck and Tori faced these dilemmas more often than not. The girl decked in a yellow sundress and matching accessories tried so, so hard to remember what it was like. She smiled as she thought of Beck cornering her at school, kissing her right when she walked in the door. Sometimes, they'd text each other from different classes and ask the teacher to go to the bathroom at the same time. They'd meet by the short staircase and kiss each other senseless, or hold hands for a while, or dance a bit. Beck would spin Tori around, and she almost imagined herself in a cream colored gown and heels, Beck in lovely formals, the two of them making history on a hardwood floor. But when one of them noticed the time having ticked away, they'd kiss each other on the cheek and scurry away. It was that innocence that made Tori fall in love with Beck.

He wasn't whipped, no, and she didn't want him to be. One for complete equality, she was happy to do him the occasional favor or treat. A relationship is two-sided, she said. That's why Beck fell in love with Tori. She understood him and wanted the same thing from a relationship that he did. It was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. They were perfect.

((

"What's our fairytale, Beck?"

"Hmm?" he asked distractedly. His mind was still focused on the short play he was writing. The pen hit the paper again as Beck scribbled words onto the paper. "Beauty and the Beast?" he muttered nonchalantly.

Tori gaped at him. "I'm a beast?" she exclaimed angrily.

Beck looked up perplexedly at her. "What? You?"

"That's what you said!" she said, sitting up straighter on the bean bag chair.

"I thought you wanted to watch a fairytale movie. I just said the first thing on my mind."

Tori gave him an incredulous look. "I was asking about OUR fairytale."

Beck put down his pen, finally out of ideas for this scene. He pulled his black and gray striped shirt down and asked jokingly, "We have a fairytale?" Tori found his small smirk infuriating, yet hopelessly attractive at the same time. conflictedconflicted.

Tori came over and laid down next to Beck, who was sitting cross legged on his small bed. He placed the pad of yellow paper and pen beside him to open up extra space. His energetic girlfriend moved her head into his lap, and he began stroking her hair slowly. She subconsciously contorted her fingers into strange patterns.

The calm teenager asked her, "And what makes you think I meant you were the beast anyhow? Why can't I be the beast?"

"Beckett, everyone in school is in love with you. No one would ever call you a beast."

)))

"BEAST! You ruined everything!" Tori shouted when they shut the door behind them.

Beck could hardly believe his ears. He had made such an effort to cancel work for the day to do a cake tasting, but surprisesurprise, boss doesn't care. Anyway, it wasn't as though the decision between a butterscotch cake and a lemon one was really that difficult (lemon, duh). The whole wedding planning ordeal was completely exhausting to Beck as he found more and more of his time being dwindled away by the choices their wedding planner was forcing them to take. (noooo, we have to have the groom's input.)

"Tori! Don't be such a bride-zilla," Beck yelled back. She didn't dare try to fight him because whenever she won a fight, he let her; he was quite a force to be reckoned with. "I'm not losing my job because of this stupid wedding."

She angrily threw her purple jacket on the couch beside her and swiveled on her heels. "As far as I remember, I wasn't the one who proposed with a cheap ring."

"Yeah, my bad luck," he muttered.

Plain and simple. Beck was done with this. (just about.)

(

Tori could read right through her boyfriend of four years. She knew something was up when she saw his anxious, but excited smile (beckdoesnotsmile). But Tori learned early on not to expect much from anything or anybody (the 138 failed auditions and "you were great"s taught her that much). So, she let herself get slightly excited and enjoyed her fantastic gourmet meal with relish. Beck wasn't fond of dishing out $100 for a meal; however, even he was swallowing up food like it was his last dinner.

Nothing happened at the restaurant.

Nothing happened on their cute, little walk in the city.

Nothing happened when Beck's gray suit crinkled Tori's royal purple dress as he kissed her goodnight.

Tori was left muttering curses to herself inside her apartment after the date. She started her coffeemaker planning on topping it with as much sweetness from whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles as possible. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Tori nervously picked up the umbrella by her door and kept her cell phone in her hand with '911' already keyed in. All that was left if this was an attacker was to beat him and press 'Dial'. Yeah, she was paranoid, but it was past midnight!

She gingerly opened the door and yelled as threateningly as possible holding the umbrella like a baseball bat. Tori looked down to see that Beck had moved from his initial stance of kneeling to an awkward, fallen position after letting out a deep scream himself. The frightened man was holding onto his heart while breathing quickly.

"Beck?" Tori shouted incredulously. She suddenly became aware of the disturbance she could possibly be causing the neighbors, so she pulled him up and brought him inside. "What are you doing here?" she asked while shutting the door.

He clutched his chest as he walked through the door and sat down on a wooden chair at the dining table. "I was planning on asking you to marry me, but you decided to give me a heart attack instead."

Tori dropped his hand, staring at him in shock. "What?"

Beck's breathing had gone back to normal, and he ran his hand through his hair. "Hold on. Let me do this right...in a few seconds."

Two minutes later, they were ecstatically engaged.

))

"I heard that you went out clubbing last night," he glared at her.

Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and she was decked in sweatpants and a tight shirt. Tori never liked getting dressed up on days that she was planning to stay at home, and Beck figured after the hangover she must have gotten – at least according to Cat – there was no way his girlfriend would make it out the door without falling. It was a miracle she even made it to the couch.

"I didn't go clubbing," Tori denied disbelievingly. However, in all these years, Beck knew her tell. She would rub her two index fingers together whenever she was lying.

Beck began to recite the lecture he had practiced so carefully before Tori had woken up. "Tori, you know that just because you're invited to a club doesn't mean that you have to go. We went clubbing when we were in college, and I thought we moved past that. It's not healthy for you to be around too much alcohol, and I'm just—"

Tori scrunched up her face and mocked him, "Worried about your health because I love you so damn much." She rolled her eyes, "I know, Beckett, I know, but I deserve to have some fun, too, and without you. So, yes, I admit it. I went out and got drunk, but at least I forgot about you for a while."

He pushed aside the magazines that were scattered all over the table. They fell to the floor with resounding claps. "Just because you can't say no to people doesn't mean that it's MY PROBLEM!" his voice rose. "This is so juvenile," he spat out, every word dripping with scorn. "I didn't know that you were still sixteen, Tori."

(((

Beck waited by her locker, finishing the chapter of 1984 that he forgot to read last night. Well, well, well, this world sucks a lot worse than high school does, he thought. He got more curious as the cliffhanger to the chapter was introduced, but was struck in the shoulder, hard. He almost dropped his book, but maintained his composure with some effort. Beck looked up to see Tori swatting him away from her locker so she could open it and place her three textbooks inside.

"Well, I'm soooorry, Ms. Grouchy Gretchen," he said sarcastically.

The wavy brown haired beauty expressionlessly stared back at him. Beck raised his hands in surrender and moved away.

She smiled while putting her books back away in her locker and apologized. "Sorry, I had a late night and am in a bad mood. What did you need?"

"Our project?"

Her eyes bugged out. "I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT."

Beck laughed at her. "I kind of figured you would, so Cat and I finished it last night. We knew you were too busy planning graduation."

She smiled gratefully and hugged him. "You guys are the best."

))

He was brooding against the brick pillar, waiting and tapping his feet in anticipation. Tori was twenty minutes late again. His eyes made contact with his black watch. An ultimatum was stated in his head - five minutes or he was out.

Two minutes of creepily staring at the other college students later, the agitated boy heard Tori's voice. "Sorry, Beck! Held up in class," she said. The bubbly girl grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek nonchalantly. Beck grunted in response as she pulled him over to a tree and forced him to take a seat beside her.

Tori went on a long (like, seriously long) tangent about her busy weekend plans. The bright yellow of her fabric somehow clashed with his dark red sweater when she sidled herself into his arms and played with his hands.

Forty minutes later, he had still said nothing.

)

Tori sadly looked at Beck. "What happened to us, Beck? Why are we so mad at each other all the time?"

He stared back from across the kitchen table. "Ask yourself that."

((

She sat in his RV waiting for him to return from the gym, typing away a history paper on her medium-sized periwinkle laptop. Beck walked in the door, surprised to see his girlfriend there and also embarrassed that he hadn't taken a shower and looked like a mess.

"Hey," he greeted as he walked in the door.

Tori looked up at him from behind her red framed glasses. "He-eyyy, somebody needs a shower real fast."

Beck gave her a mischievous grin and sat down beside her. "Oh, really? Do I now?"

She chuckled and asked, "Do you want something to drink? I was just going to steal a bottle of water from your fridge."

Tori stood up and waited for Beck to respond. He thought a bit before saying, "Steal, you say? Well, Ms. Vega, I believe that's a first degree offense."

"No, it's not," she said incredulously, placing her hands on her hips and beginning to walk away.

Beck pulled her back onto the bed, so her head fell onto his lap and legs were dangling off the edge. "It is, in the Beckicle." He saw her disbelieving face and explained, "Beck vehicle."

Tori nodded in amusement, "Ohh, right," before trying to jump out of his grasp.

The tan skinned boy didn't let her go so easily and kept her head in his lap. "I believe you need a punishment." He lifted her head up slightly and pressed her back down with an intense kiss. Beck stretched out his legs so they were lying next to each other before they stopped.

The waves in Tori's hair were mussed up, and her glasses had clearly collided in between the kiss. She was nearly breathless as she whispered, "I accept this punishment." Beck moved to kiss her again until she stopped him, "After you shower."

)))

Beck cried, finally realizing to what level they had dropped down to. He was actually considering this girl's offer, even though he could clearly tell what kind of person he'd be if he associated with her. At that moment though, the bright lights and haze-inducing drinks had prevented him from thinking straight. All he could think of was how Tori blew him off on their anniversary date.

But he didn't make a mistake.

Tori suspiciously questioned him at home when he brought in the stench of alcohol. It had gone to his head, and he angrily slammed the door shut.

The next morning, Beck had regained his perception of all that was important. It didn't matter that Tori had gotten to her lowest low; he was sure he had contributed. He ran out into the kitchen in the morning to see Eggs Benedict, his favorite breakfast, lying at his usual seat waiting for him. Tori came out of the bathroom just as he walked in.

She came over and kissed him eagerly. "I—I know I haven't been the most agreeable person on the planet, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you." He pulled her into a hug as she continued with her velvety voice, "I'm just trying to make this the best that I can, and I know I've started taking it too seriously when I'm excluding you from it all. I mean, I'm doing this all for us, but I just—"

Beck let his hands rest on the collar of her pink robe. "I miss us."

She smiled, "You took the words right out of my mouth."

"We're getting married for a reason, and we should never let ourselves forget it," Beck firmly stated with determination in his eyes.

Tori nodded and let herself rest in his arms yet again.