A/N: I have been going back and forth on whether I should upload this or not, but I decided to do it anyways since it would just be lying around on my desktop if not...
disclaimer: I do not and never have owned one piece, just so we are clear it is owned by Eiichiro oda.
Chapter 1
A blonde woman stormed out of the Baratie in tears, bumping Zoro as she ran. The Baratie was a high end eatery that was infamous in the surrounding city. Apparently the head chef was once a part of the mafia and a lot of low lives worked there. Many of the customers came to be entertained by the belittlement rather than the exceptional food. He really didn't have to try hard to imagine what happened to her. He took a deep breath in preparation as he opened the thick oak door.
He was expecting the whole place to be in chaos, so when he enters he is not extremely surprised when see a waiter fighting with one of the customers. From the looks of it the customer was that scumbag Fullbody. Zoro had the displeasure of meeting him before, whatever they were fighting over Zoro would bet money that Fullbody was at fault.
With a sneer Fullbody emptied his soup bowl on the floor. Before Zoro could take his next breath the enraged cook's foot connects with Fullbody's face and he is flung across the restaurant hitting the entrance door besides Zoro with a frightening thud. Zoro glances down at the now unconscious Fullbody and then to the waiter.
Only to see the blond neatly dressed man seemingly floating down and gliding onto a table. The blonde's deep blue eyed gaze lands on him stopping only at his waist where his swords hung, he raises an oddly curled eyebrow but said nothing. The man takes out his lighter and lights the cigarette that hung at his lips. He takes a long deep drag of that cigarette and closes his eyes, well eye, for a moment in satisfaction. Zoro was almost certain that if he had been closer to the blond he would have heard an almost erotic needy groan coming from him.
"Welcome, you have reached the crap kitchen. Can I take your order?" the man finally goads in a smug grin, which looked way too good on him. The waiter's legs were spread in almost provocative way and Zoro has no doubt that the blond knew he looked damn sexy right then. And boy, was he owning it.
Before he could answer Fullbody is grumbling at his feet as he wakes. "I won't pay for services like this! I will have your restaurant reprimanded for this…this outrage!" he vows as he dust himself of. From the look of it, the waiter could care less about Fullbody's money.
"That was my nice way of telling you to get the hell out, shit stain." The waiter growled as he stood and pointed at the door with his cigarette. "This kitchen could care less for customers that don't respect their food or their ladies." the blond turns away to clean the soup off the floor with a rag before turning back. "Have fun trying to close this place down, get as many lawyers and petitions as you want—I am sure someone might give a damn." The waiter mocks while playing with his bangs that covered half his face as if it could matter less to him. Zoro is inclined to believe the waiter was just bluffing but at the moment it is fun to see the bastard Fullbody grumble as if he is taking on the challenge.
Fullbody turns to leave and Zoro looks away hoping that the bastard does not recognize him and just leaves. "Zoro, my boy" Fullbody chirped, Zoro almost growled when he heard those words. "What do you say to ditching this place? That asshole is the only waiter." Part of his mind saw no reason to stay longer after that and just wanted to be swallowed up by a hole, he has seen before firsthand what an asshole Fullbody can be the last thing he wanted was to be associated with the man, and the other part….
"Keep talking like that and I'll tell your drinking buddies you got your ass handed to you by a waiter." He retorts cockily. In a way Zoro technically works with him so it is not really his place to talk but he needs to establish that they are not close and he knows that Fullbody could never get even close to touching him. Fullbody knew that as well and snorted as he passed Zoro on his way out.
When Fullbody finally leaves. The blond waiter has walked over to him, he is dressed formally in a full black suit and pinstriped blue shirt a few shades lighter than his eyes, with no doubt a fancy pocket watch was a his waist. He seems about the same age and height as Zoro and has an oddly deformed eyebrow. The waiter took another drag alternating his gaze from the door and himself. "Sooo, Zoro as in the 'man hunter Roronoa Zoro'" he breathe out puffs of smoke.
"Yeah." Zoro states lamely, he never called himself a bounty hunter, people on the street just started to call him that after hearing a few too many rumors and he has long since given up on changing their minds. All the same the blond nods thoughtfully clearly impressed.
"Anyone else with you? You seem oddly dressed up to be coming here alone" the waiter states as he walks up to a table with only two seats. Gesturing Zoro to sit.
"I have a date, I am pretty sure he is going to bail though" Zoro half lies. He is waiting for a man to come but not romantically and that man doesn't know that he is waiting for him. Further to the point Zoro is not quite sure that he will come but Zoro trust his buddies Johnny and Yosaku's intel. And since he is going to be loitering around here for a long while he may as well try something to get the blonde's attention—anyone who can fling Fullbody around like a ragdoll seemed too interesting to pass up—being really attractive didn't hurt either.
Zoro looks at his waiter chest there is no nameplate not like the only waiter would need to be distinguished. "No nameplate?" he prodded hoping for a name.
The blond didn't seem phased by his comment and completely ignored Zoro's question. "Good luck with that." The waiter said in monotony as he passed him two menus "anything to drink?" Zoro was almost sure the waiter was hitting on him before but he guessed that his affiliation with Fullbody did not help his case.
"A bottle of your best saké would be it for now." Zoro places the menu on the table he did not necessarily go to the Baratie for food.
The waiter frowns "You brought swords to a date." He sighed as if he just realized it. He then closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Listen we may be the only restaurant that does not care if you carry weapons, and I don't care how much you think you are the tough guy type you are a shitty date, right after that last guy." He pointed to the door referring to Fullbody.
"And with the way you handled that 'last guy' I would say you are a shitty waiter, right after… oh wait there are no other waiters. Guess that means you're the best." He adds in fake glee. Probably not the best words to say to the guy you want to bone but Zoro took great offence to being compared to that bastard.
"Listen I may be happy that you told the shit stain off but I—" was the only thing that the blond got out before the kitchen door swung open.
"Hurry it up. We need you in the kitchen, shitty Eggplant. If you have enough time to be harassing the customers you have enough time to be finding another job." A blond chef, that Zoro identified as being the owner of the establishment 'red leg Zeff', barks. The waiter gives him one last glare before he walked to kitchen where the owner was waiting. On his way past the door the head chef kicks him on the head and continues with his scolding behind the closed door.
A few seconds later the blond emerges with six different plates and sake somehow balancing on his arms and head. He stops by a table and places the plates down for the designated customer, without missing a beat he continually hit on both of the women on that table, oh. To place salt upon the wound the smoke that puffed out of him was heart shaped. Man was Zoro ever wrong. He sighed woefully. After that the blond places Zoro's sake bottle on the table and did not even bother with pouring it, not that Zoro cared for drinking from prissy wine glasses, before he hurried back to the kitchen.
The saké was one of the best Zoro had the pleasure of drinking so he took his time with it, ordering two more bottles within the course of the hour. Many families and couples came and went, there were a few scuffles caused by the waiter's insistent mouth and flirtations. Three hours later the blond takes the seat across from him, and smokes. "He isn't coming, seaweed. I suggest you order or get the hell out." He adds in knowing lament.
"Not that original, if you want to irk me you are going to need to try a little harder." he returns. It took everyone and their grandmother an instant to think that one up.
To Zoro's surprise the blond seemed to take that as a challenge, knitting his ridiculous eyebrows together he leaned in closer bordering Zoro's personal space. "Kelp brain..." He starts but when he sees a pitied reaction coming from Zoro, he stops, Zoro could almost see the gears in the blonds head rearing in search of an original insult to his hair. Not that there was anything that Zoro had not already heard.
Zoro sighed "Listen as fun as watching your two brain cells rub together I have better things to do, goldilocks." The blond was too engrossed in his personal space (and not in a good way mind you!) and he dearly wanted his nicotine stench out of his nostrils.
"You throwing a dumb blond joke at me? Like I did not spend all of grade school hearing that, grass head." The blond huffed in disappointment.
"Really I would have imagined they were too fixated on your eyebrows to care about your hair." To his pleasure the blond barred his teeth at that. The blond spent the last four hours insulting the clients, but other than with Fullbody it never escalated to a physical fight since the blond had this aloof way of insulting and retorting, that was definitely a sore spot and he took that as his win. "I hope that you realized that you assaulted lieutenant Fullbody, as far as the police go he is a pain in the ass. You better have a really good lawyer I am not sure—"
"Oh, please. We have ways of not getting into legal trouble, this place would have closed down ages ago otherwise." The blond says aloofly with the wave of his hand, implying greatly of illegal activity. "As far as days go this is one of the tamer ones. Just yesterday all of the waiters ran because of a gang fight erupted and they were scared for their lives or some pansy shit like that."
The thought had occurred, there must have been a reason why law enforcement never pursued the Baratie. "I though red leg Zeff was through with his illegal exploits."
"The old geezer gave up that life a long time ago, if you ask me, it will never entirely leave him it is kind of the way he is." The waiter look at him as if something in the back of his mind clicks. He was suspecting something and clammed up immediately. With is body slightly more tense, he changed the subject. "Soo, how was this boyfriend thing going? You drank seven whole bottles of sake and waited for about four hours, but you don't seem too beat up about it, captain planet."
Zoro knew the blond evaded the real answer and he was not going to press, he knew better than to pry. The insult however did hit a nerve "haven't heard that one in since grade school, curly." He enticed, mildly impressed the smoker actually remembered that shows existence, also dodging a question.
"Damn it! Thought I finally got something there." The blond cursed and stomped on the floor. He did not seem too phased though, immediately after he snaps his fingers and look at Zoro with excitement "Aegagropila linnaei."
"What—I don't even—"he starts brokenly.
"Moss ball, bitch! Didn't think the blond would know that" the waiter burst out in premature joy. He at least got the original part right.
"You are not going to irritate me with sciency words, blondilocks." Zoro retorts in amusement. There was no other thing to be done and he was actually enjoying their conversation for a little while. Completely unaware of the giddy grin he held.
The blond grinned from ear to ear looking all kinds of gorgeous. "The name's Sanji, I'm the sous chef here" it was then that Zoro realized he made a mistake, his heart raced, but Sanji continued unaware "blondilocks only to that fine beauty over there, poor 'sheltered species'." Sanji pointed to a woman that just entered, the red head was the only female in the restaurant at the time, and she waved back. Zoro could see what he was referring to she was well endowed and had a tiny waist most men would swoon over. It was then that he heard the last few words.
"I am not a sheltered speices!" he cried in indignation, but the cook gave him a smug victory sign, dropping the bill on the table and swooned out "Hi, Nami-swan!"