"PICK YOUR DINOSAUR."
Phineas and Ferb were sitting together in a chair in front of the computer, playing Dinovillage 63. Perry was trying to sleep under the chair.
Ferb was looking through all of the dinosaurs. The computer said a dinosaur's name as Ferb hovered his mouse over each.
"BRONTOSAURUS. STEGOSAURUS. PTERODACTYL. MAIASAURUS."
"Guys, could you turn that DOWN?" Candace shouted. "I'm trying to call Jeremy! This phone call is officially going to be the one-thousandth time I have called him, and it has to be PERFECT!"
"You've counted how many times you've called Jeremy?" Phineas asked.
"T-REX." Said the computer.
"Of course!" Candace retorted, holding up a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers scribbled on it in pink pen.
"STEGOSAURUS." Said the computer. Ferb moved his mouse off of the stegosaurus and then moved it back. "STEGOSAURUS."
"Do they have a platysaurus?" Perry chattered. "Or a wormasaurus?"
"Squish-a-licious worms." Ferb said cheerfully.
"EW." Phineas and Candace said in unison.
"STEGOSAURUS." Said the computer.
"Hurry up and pick your dinosaur!" Candace snapped. "I'm dialing Jeremy's number RIGHT now!"
"STEGOSAURUS. STEGOSAURUS."
"Ferb, you have to click on i-" Phineas began.
"I know." Ferb said.
Perry chewed on the chair leg.
"Hi, Jeremy." Candace said into the phone.
"STEG-STEG-STEG-STEG-STEGOSAURUS." The computer said. Ferb was rapidly moving his mouse across the stegosaurus's picture.
"No, no reason! I just felt like calling you!"
"STEGSTEGSTEGSTEGSTEGSTEGSTEG…"
"FERB! CUT IT OUT!" Candace snapped. "YOU'RE RUINING MY ONE-THOUSANDTH CALL TO JEREMY!"
Ferb stopped moving the mouse. "STEGOSAURUS."
"Pick the pterodactyl." Phineas said. "He has lots of dino power. And you already bought him a beanie hat."
Ferb nodded.
"PTERODACTYL."
Perry was reading a book.
"Hey." Pinky the Chihuahua said from behind.
Startled, Perry whirled around and punched Pinky in the face. Pinky fell down.
"Oh man. Are you okay?" Perry jumped out of his chair and went to help Pinky up.
"What was that for?" Pinky spat.
"Word of advice: Never sneak up on me when I'm concentrating on something else. Actually, that's eleven words of advice. But if you want to get technical-"
"Don't need to know the statistics." Pinky stood up and brushed himself off. "I just needed to borrow a pen."
"You can get one down at the store for two dollars." Perry said.
"Perry…"
Perry sighed. "Fine." He tossed Pinky a pen. "What's it for?"
"Manfred Freeny needs me to sign his petition for a new toilet in the bathroom."
Perry rolled his eyes. "Children everywhere are starving, the ice caps are melting, and yet Freeny is concerned with buying a new toilet."
"He says the old one is a little cracked and needs to be repaired in order to keep the O.W.C.A cleaner."
"A little cracked? He's not talking about the toilet in the BACK of the agency, is he?"
"That's the one."
"Marvin the MOUSE sat on that toilet last week and it COLLAPSED!"
"Which is why I figured it'd do some good to sign his petition." Pinky said.
"I've never seen Freeny around. What animal is he again?"
Pinky shrugged. "Some rodent thing. But he is very nice. He's got perfect manners. And he's a really good fighter."
"Good for him." Perry turned the page of his book.
"I'll be right back."
"For heaven's sake, don't give me an update on every second of your life! Every time the guy in the book is about to get goop thrown on his head, you talk and I lose my place!"
"I do hope I'm not disturbing anything." Said a deep voice. A long, thin cream-colored rodent entered Perry's lair.
"I really need to put a lock on that door." Perry muttered.
"I'm so sorry to barge in like this." The rodent said.
"Thanks so much for apologizing. Now get out." Perry said.
"Perry, this is Manfred." Pinky said. "Manfred, that's Perry."
"It's very nice to meet you." Manfred said, holding out his hand.
"A lot of people don't have the same opinion as you on that subject." Perry snapped.
"Sorry, Manfred." Pinky said. "He's extra cranky today."
"Oh dear. I hope nothing's the matter." Manfred said kindly.
"No, being cranky's just my favorite pastime." Perry turned back to his book.
"I hope it's not any trouble to sign my petition." Manfred said, holding out a clipboard to Pinky.
Pinky signed his name at the bottom.
"Thank you so very much." Manfred said. "It's really a shame that the O.W.C.A can't have nice toilets. Thank you so, so much for helping."
"He's acting like you just donated a vital organ." Perry grumbled.
"If it's not too much trouble, perhaps you two can help me present the petition to Mr. Major Monogram."
"It's Major Monogram." Perry said. "His last name is Monogram. Major's not part of his name. It's his title. No Mr."
"Francis Monogram." Pinky said. "With an I. And sure, I'll present it with you, if you want."
"That's so very kind of you." Manfred said. "Thank you so much!"
"You guys have fun." Perry said, not looking at either of them.
"Thank you. It was an honor to meet you, Perry. I hear so many good things about you." Manfred gave Perry a nod.
Perry didn't know how to respond, so he just kept silent.
"I'll see you at three-o-clock." Manfred told Pinky. "Goodbye!"
After he left, Pinky gave Perry his pen back. "Isn't he nice?"
"TOO nice. Too annoyingly polite. I hate people like that. It's like they're robots, programmed to be perfect."
"Well, his annoying politeness was certainly a lot more pleasant than your rudeness."
"Look, Pinky. I was separated from my parents when I was a day old, trained by a nutjob eagle who nearly killed me, and have gone through countless scarring experiences. Excuse me if I don't feel like talking about unicorns and rainbows."
"You could have at least ACTED nicer to Manfred. It wouldn't have killed you."
Perry replied with a carefully chosen word.
"All right, all right! I get it. I shouldn't bug you when you're trying to read. Sorry." Pinky backed away from Perry's chair.
Monogram stood at the front of the room, handing out awards to agents.
Perry was sitting in the back, absorbed in his book.
Pinky tapped on him. "Not meaning to provoke you or anything, but… what if he calls you and you don't hear him because you're reading?"
"He'll call me again. And again. You know Monogram."
"And the award for most improved goes to… Ned the narwhal!" Monogram said.
A baby narwhal hopped over to the podium, nearly poking Monogram with his horn in his excitement. Monogram handed him a trophy.
"Yeaaayy!" Ned said happily. He hopped back to his seat.
"And the award for most reserved goes to… Doris the wolf!" Monogram said.
A bored-looking wolf stood up and made her way to the podium.
Devon the dog poked Perry. "That's weird. You usually win that one."
Perry shrugged. "Doris probably was just a tad more reserved than I was this year. What's all the fuss?"
"There are still a few more awards." Pinky said, looking at the program. "Maybe I'll win something."