DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (Hana-Kimi) or any characters said.
A/N: This is based on the Jdorama. Please review.
This is yet another day of my non-stop whining. I've been bugging Kayashima since Mizuki left. I haven't moved on yet. It's way too sudden.
"It really was my slipup to begin with. How could I be so dim-witted? So blind? I vexed myself thinking that I was gay, when all along I was intensely in love with a girl! I even acknowledged the verity that I fell for a guy! Man that really sucked big time. I wish I could disregard it all. Ugh, so embarrassing! I never want to think about it again!"
Kayashima nodded. He never said a word. I don't know if he's even listening. But I don't care.
"But I guess I knew it from the day my heart went wild about her. I must have that weird kind of gut feeling or maybe not. If I really did, I wouldn't have felt tongue-tied around Mizuki. But whatever… she's gone back to California now."
He nodded once more.
"I've actually learned something from this indescribable experience, would you believe that? 'Denial is man's best friend and man's best friend is his worst enemy.' Get my point? It's true isn't it? I deserve a pat on my shoulder for that remarkable statement."
He gave me a pat. I wasn't being literal.
"I knew that Mizuki cared about Sano more than she did for me. Its funny 'coz whenever Sano is drawn in, she too has to be concerned. It's like everything she does has to be because of Sano. Yeah, I'm jealous. I always have been. It was obvious, wasn't it? It was really annoying, we'd talk and then someone will tell her something about Sano which would make her run like hell leaving poor me alone. She could say something but no, she'll just run off. It's like I've suddenly turned invisible. Ouch."
He gave me a sympathetic look then went emotionless again.
"He sure is a lucky guy, that Sano Izumi. And to imagine that friend of mine was a jerk to begin with. Plus, that guy is no fun at all! And also, he's kissed way too many people. Gross. Well, that was nothing compared to what I did first. I kicked a ball that hit her squarely at the forehead. I mean, that must really hurt a lot! Then I… ok, don't mind that, I might get a nosebleed. Honestly speaking, it really was flat. I seriously have to get that out of my mind."
Ok, back to being somber and sentimental…
"I shouldn't have denied my true feelings. I shouldn't have vacillated. There's a whole lot of I shouldn't in my list that can't be expunged. But would my confession make anything different? Yeah, I thought so too. It was highly impossible for her to love me the way she loves Sano. We both know the reason to that. But seriously, you could have given me an idea! You should have told me before! Hell, you're my roommate! My friend! Sorry… didn't really mean to blame you and all. Even our school doctor knows about Mizuki! This is crazy don't you think so too?"
He raised both of his hands. There he goes again… he's definitely feeling something.
"Well, yeah, it's all over. I really don't want to dwell on the past that's why I'm letting all of these worthless emotions out. I know that you're the only one who could really understand me. I hope you don't mind 'coz even if you do, I still will carry on."
"Yes, I know that." He muttered.
"Do you still remember, on her last day she almost left without letting me say anything to her? How cold could she be!? But I think I ran without saying a word, didn't I? In the end, she said that I was her best friend. Tch. But that's better than just being an average buddy, isn't it?"
"Yes it is." Kayashima said, "But don't fret, something's gonna happen and you're gonna like it."
"Huh? What's that?!" I asked dazed.
He sighed, "Forget it. You'll know sooner or later."
"Oh well." I shrugged. I don't feel like caring at the moment so I'll just let it go.
"Oi, Kayashima… arigatou."
"It's alright."
"I won't bring this topic back up again!" I grinned.
He rolled his eyes, "sure... and as far as I remember, you said that yesterday and the day before."
I forced a laugh, I did say that a couple of times before. "I'm sure this time" I promised.
And with that, our small chat ended. Tomorrow will yet be another day to goof around.
A/N: Hope you liked it. Just felt like writing something about this. Thanks for reading. Please review.