Disclaimer: Still don't own bleach but I am working on it.
When I first heard the news, my knees trembled but my mind didn't move. It was like the words were an enchantment upon me; I was unable to form thoughts, unable to consider anything, even unable to comprehend the fact at hand. The first thought that arrived to me was it was all a lie but the tears the split over my cheeks proved that I didn't actually believe it.
I pushed my legs fast in an attempt to save every single that I could; each single saved was another second spent with him.
I should've known something was wrong when they approached me; they would never leave his side when he was sick. I guess in all fairness I had hoped that he was feeling better and had sent them to find me. I wish that had been the case.
I could feel the wind brushing the tears from my face, another tear lost in the wind; how many more would I lose for him.
Years upon years we had spent together, too many years were going to be lost; so many years would feel dead without him.
Dead. That word ripped at my heart, it stung like a salted wound. He was dieing; he wasn't going to recover this time, there would never be another time to be with him, never another time for him to smile, never another time to see him shine on the battle field.
I pushed myself faster, recalling the words that Kiyone managed to speak through her heavy sobs, "he's not getting better this time."
They had both been present; it was obvious that Ukitake had ordered them away so he could say his goodbyes in peace. They must have been the first to say goodbye, the first to know there was not going to be another chance for them to challenge one another for his affection, the first to know that this was really the end.
One quick leap and I was over the 13th division wall but my feet seemed to slow as the door of his chambers came into my site. What would I say? How could I show him how much he truly meant to me? How would I say goodbye to the best friend I had ever had?
I reached the door and began wiping the tears off my face; he wouldn't want to know that I was crying, he wouldn't want to see the fresh tears on my cheeks, he would want to see me the way he expected.
It took some work but I managed to stop the tears and put on a small smile that tore another chunk from my still beating heart.
The door slowly opened and Rukia slowly exited, "He's been waiting for you," she said with her bottom lip slightly trembling; she must have forced a smile for him too, she was always thinking of others.
I nodded, I would save my words for him; for him I could fight back the tears behind my tears.
I made my way into the room and slide the door shut behind me before turning to see the glorious smile planted on his face; he always had to look like a million dollars no matter what wrong.
"Kyouraku, I'm so glad that you made it," his words were soft, flawless in tone, magnificent as always.
I crossed the room and sat on my knees at his side taking his hand in mine, "I couldn't let you go without coming to say goodbye," the words sounded so much worse then they actually were; fresh salt to my wounded heart.
He smiled up at me and made an attempt to sit up but I restrained him, "Please, just lay still, save your energy," I pleaded to him; he had to save every last ounce of energy for me, save every second he had for me.
His eyes crossed the room and stared out the window, "Would you remember to feed the carps in at my family estate, I don't want them to die."
The smile faded suddenly but I was quick to replace it as he turned to look at me once again, "I promise."
"Rukia drew me a couple of pictures," He reached over to retrieve multiple sheets of paper that he handed to me; his hands were cold, "There's a couple of Chappy but there are also a couple pictures of you in there."
I set the pages on the ground for a second as I removed the flowered kimono from over my shoulders and laid it ontop of him to warm him up.
I picked the pages up and began flipping through them to the rabbitized forms; every picture that Ukitake was in, I was right by his side just as it had always been. I was always by his side and him by me. The thoughts and memories seered my heart, deformed it.
I couldn't hold the tears back as they fell and I couldn't help but mutter out an apology; I was sure he didn't want to see my tears, I was sure it was going to upset him.
He pushed himself up, against my protest, and leaned his chest and head onto my lap as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He was still cold but the touch sent a burning desire through me.
"Please don't cry Kyouraku," his words were quiet but full of emotion.
"I'm sorry my sweet Ukitake," I saw as my arms wrapped around him and fighting to suppress the sobs in my throat; so many times I had dreamt of holding him and now that I could, it was our last day together.
It was muffled and soft but I heard it. Ukitake was crying. The sobs were soft and sweet but felt like whip lashings in my chest; I could never remember him crying, he was always so brave.
"I don't want this to be the last time I see you, we've been together for too long now," his words were cracking; it sounded almost as if he was going to go into hysterics.
I bit onto my bottom lip and brought my hand to stroke his hair, "It won't be the last time you see me," his hair was like silk, "I don't know what comes next after this life but I can't imagine that we won't meet again there."
I heard him sniffle and I felt his sobs die down as he released his hands from around me, "I love you," he spoke his chocolate brown eyes locked with mine; I could stare into them forever.
I leaned my head in and softly kissed him, "I have always loved you."
He smiled at me and laid his head back into my lap, "Kyouraku, can I stay like this for the rest of my life?"
His words were meant to be a joke although they were a bit painful to hear, I still didn't want to face the fact that he was dieing after I finally told him I loved him; I've only been waiting a hundred years for this moment.
"Of coarse," I whispered out.
His words were quiet but I heard them as clear as if he had been whispering them into my ear, "Don't let me go."
"I won't," I said leaning my head down to place a kiss on top of his, "I promise."
It fell into silence and his breathing stay strong but through the night it slowly softened. He passed away in the early morning still tightly in my embrace. I never let him go, I kept my last promise to him. He would forever be the occupant of my heart, my cherished desire, my Jushiro Ukitake, my love.
I thought it was sweet, tell me if you think I should do some more oneshots. Was it too short?