Chibs stood alone in the cemetery his eyes locked down on the place-marker that had just been installed by Scooter the funeral director. The grave was modest and Chibs couldn't help but to feel disappointed.
He felt guilty that Tara didn't have the biggest tallest most extravagant resting place money could buy.
Yes he knew that the place-marker was just temporary. Soon there would be a gravestone installed; Tara G. Knowles Beloved Mother and Wife. Dedicated Doctor.
The stone that had been picked out by Gemma was plain; granite with little roses engraved along the edges.
Chibs felt that she had deserved so much more than this. Tara had deserved more than this.
The funeral service had been small; quiet.
It had been just SAMCRO and a few of Tara's coworkers.
They'd all been stuffed into a small chapel located on the funeral home's grounds. There had been an abundance of flowers; roses, lilies, violets, and daisies. There had been pictures of Tara around the mahogany casket; pictures of her with her boys.
The casket had remained closed and Chibs was thankful for that. He knew that he couldn't have bared to see Tara like that; cold and waxy dressed in the simple blue dress Gemma had picked. They'd buried her with pictures of both Abel and Thomas and one picture from Jax's and her wedding.
The service had been filled with tears from everyone who had adored the good doctor.
Unser had taken over the reading of the eulogy.
It hadn't been much; a small snippet from Tara's obituary that had been printed in the Charming newspaper and a poem that had seemed appropriate.
Chibs felt his eyes begin to water as he remembered the poem.
I will wait for you...
I will wait for you...
Though we never had a chance to say goodbye,
Remember me...
When winter snows are falling through a quiet sky
I'll remember you
When, in our darkest hour,
You held my hand and prayed I wouldn't go,
But a silent voice called out to me;
My time had come, and I had to travel Home...
Since then, I know your life has never been the same,
For I visit you each day:
So many times I've felt your pain:
I've watched you cry:
And I've heard you call my name...
But now, further along life's road I stand
In a timeless world, just beyond your sight,
Waiting for the day when I can take your hand and bring you across
to this land of Golden Light...
Till then, remember me, you understand-and try not to cry.
But if you do:
Let your tears fall
For the happiness and joy we knew,
And for the special love we shared,
For love can never die.
After that poem had been read there had not been a dry eye in the chapel.
Abel and Thomas had not been there for the funeral. It didn't seem right bringing children so young to such an event.
All little Abel knew was that his mommy had gone to heaven.
Chibs wasn't even sure if the boy understood it; the finality of it. Death was a strange concept for someone so young.
Thomas was of course too young to even grasp the fact that his mother was gone. He was too young to even truly know just how wonderful his mother had been. In a few years time he wouldn't even remember Tara.
That fact made this all the more painful.
Gemma had handled most of the funeral.
Jax was still locked up in county and Chibs had a feeling that even if the man had been here he wouldn't have been able to take on the task of burying his wife.
Chibs had helped with the funeral plans as much as he could. He had felt that it was his responsibility to give the doc a good send off.
Tara had been so dear to Chibs. He'd had such a strong respect for the woman.
He and Tara had bonded whilst applying stitches more than a few times.
Tara was so gifted; a natural born healer.
Tara had been one of the strongest women Chibs had ever had the privilege of knowing and calling a friend.
Chibs took a deep ragged breath as he bent down placing a small bundle of daises at the base of the place-marker.
He spoke his voice barely above a whisper. "Goodbye doc...see ya on the other side."
Chibs felt like his body weighed at least a ton or two as he trekked through the graveyard back to his bike.
He was lost. It wasn't just Tara's sudden and violent death that had made him feel this way.
Chibs had felt so lost for so long now.
The world he knew was crumbling around him. The club was falling apart.
The brotherhood he had once cherished seemed so flawed and broken now. He didn't feel as though he could trust a soul.
Everything was in shambles and he didn't see a way to fix it all again; at least in a way that it would feel the way it should.
Chibs kept thinking about the poor Teller boys. He couldn't stop thinking about them; about their loss. About the fact that they would grow into young strong men without their mother there to see it.
Seeing little Abel and Thomas made Chibs think of his Kerrianne.
Kerrianne had been Abel's age when Jimmy O' had scarred Chibs.
He could remember the last time he'd seen his baby girl before fleeing Ireland. She had been wearing a little green dress he'd bought her; it had a sweet little peter pan collar.
Kerrianne had loved that dress.
He could remember how she'd been sitting out on the front stoop of their crappy little apartment blowing bubbles.
He could remember how the bubbles had floated up around her how she had stared up at them her dark eyes wide with wonder.
He could remember how he had picked her up and spun her around; how she had giggled and squealed You're silly daddy. Put me down.
Chibs knew that he hadn't been the best father in these past few years.
He had failed to come visit his baby the way he'd promised. He had called and talked with her but that was about it.
The club had kept him out of Belfast.
He missed both Kerrianne and Fiona so much. He felt empty without them.
Fiona had always been the strong one in their relationship. He knew that most people wouldn't believe that, but it was true.
Fiona had been the one who had always been able to make him feel centered in the world. When shit around him was falling apart he had always been able to turn to his wife for comfort. She had been the one to remind him of what was important in this life; family and their love for one another.
He had never stopped loving his strong gorgeous Fi.
She had Chibs' heart and he wouldn't have it any other way.
She had been Chibs' first love. Fiona had captured his heart the second he'd laid eyes on her.
They had been young when they'd met; just two teenagers living in a bad part of Belfast.
He had fallen for her in an instant. All she'd had to do was give him one little smile and Chibs had been hers.
After he'd been kicked out of the military Fiona and he had married and soon there after their Kerrianne had been born.
His girls had been his world.
The past few years had made Chibs realize something. Through all the chaos and anger and madness Chibs had come to a sudden realization; that he needed his sweet strong girls.
He needed them like the air in his lungs.
Tara's death had made this even more clear to him. Life was too damn short to deny yourself of the things that made you feel whole.
And Chibs knew there were only two people on this planet that made him feel complete.
As Chibs mounted his motorcycle he found his hand reaching for his cell phone and his fingers dialing a familiar number.
Fiona barely had time to say a word as Chibs spoke the decision he'd made slipping from his lips. "I'm comin home Fi...I need ya."
And with that little statement Chibs Telford knew what his next move would have to be.
It was raining as Fiona climbed out of her small navy blue car. She pulled the gray scarf she'd pulled up over her wild curls a little tighter as she tried not to fall in the muddy road.
She had been dumbfounded when Chibs had called. She couldn't believe it. Her Filip was finally coming home.
Fiona had known that this was where he had belonged for so long now, but Chibs could be so stubborn.
It was one of the things Fiona loved about her husband. He was so damn driven, so loyal to what he felt was right.
It was something they had always had in common; their loyalty.
She loved Chibs. She had never stopped loving him for even a second.
He was the father to their child, the sweet passionate man she'd fallen for when they were just seventeen.
Fiona was almost tempted to pinch herself as she saw the black van come around the corner. She resisted the urge to check if this was some beautiful dream as she walked towards the van her heart slamming in her chest.
She couldn't stop herself from running to him as he exited the passengers side of the van.
Chibs held on to his wife as though she was a lifeline. He couldn't stop himself from lifting her up as he held her tight.
Their lips met as he finally lowered her back to the ground. When they pulled apart it was Fiona who spoke first. "Mo buachaill lómhara milis."
Chibs held her against him his lips pressing to every inch of skin he could reach. For the first time in years he felt a sense of calm.
He felt like he was finally home.
"I'm here love. I'm never leavin ya again Fi...I shoulda been here all along. I'm sorry that I've been so damn stupid. I will spend tha rest of my days tryin to make it righ love." Chibs blurted out guilt clouding his mind.
He had been such a damn fool.
He had chosen his club over his girls. Fiona should hate him right now. She should slap him and tell him that he was an idiot.
But his patient strong girl didn't do any of those things.
Fiona shook her head giving him a small smile. "I know Filip. I know. You're home now that's all that matters."
Chibs let out a heavy sigh as he reached into the pocket of his heavy cotton hoodie pulling out a folded up sheet of paper.
He handed it to Fiona allowing her to read it as he spoke. "I need ya to find a way to bring him here love."
"Juice?" Fiona blurted out her brow furrowing.
Chibs nodded his head letting out a heavy huff. "Aye Fi. I can't jus leave him in Charming. He's on deaths doorstep love. Tha club has turned on him. He needs me...I'm all he has."
Fiona nodded her head not too shocked to hear this. Her husband had a big heart.
He loved and he loved deep.
"Okay sweet boy. I'll see what I can do." She replied their lips joining one another again.
Chibs smiled down at his wife as he spoke up. "Where's our baby?"
Fiona pressed a hand to his temple her hand running through his hair as she spoke. "She's at school love. She wanted ta come. She'll see ya tonigh. She's makin us dinner, yer favorite Irish Stew."
Chibs nodded his head not helping but to lean against Fiona's touch.
She pressed her lips to his cheek as she spoke up. "Let's go home."
Chibs' smile grew upon hearing this. Home.
He was finally going home.
So a friend on Tumblr wanted me to write this fic after I mentioned the idea for it. It's going to be a fluffy fic about Chibs and his girls, as Well as Juice and a Irish woman who he falls hard for.
It will be about Chibs and Juice redefining what home means to them.
I hope you enjoy it. I know it wasn't very dialogue heavy, but the next chapter should be better.
mo buachaill lómhara milis = (Irish Gaelic) My sweet precious boy