Disclaimer: I don't own anything, well, except for the story concept. :D Bob Schooley, Mark McCorkle, and Disney own everything else.

Summary: First Person Omniscient—big, scary word! (Simply put, it's Motor Ed's point-of-view during/after "Graduation.")

A/N: This is my first fanfic in a long time. It has been brewing in my head for a while, but "Graduation" gave me a basis to actually write it. I apologize in advance if any of the characters are not quite in character. One shot! Complete.

Seriously Green with Envy

By Widow Shark

Motor Ed sat at the far end of the first row of villains at the U.N. medaling ceremony. His arms were crossed. A scowl was painted on his scruffy face. He looked away toward the wall, but found himself watching out the corner of his eye anyway.

Green Babe, err, Shego was looking at Cousin Drew in a way no girl, no woman, had ever looked at him—ever. Seriously! Her look was nothing short of content, and very close to adoring, too close to adoring for his comfort. And it was obvious that she was happy—for Cousin Drew, maybe even a little for herself.

Of course, it rocked major air guitar that Cousin Drew had helped save the world, seriously! 'Cause, you know, he wouldn't even be there if he hadn't. But it made no sense to him that Drew got the girl—the beautiful, fierce girl with the green magic!

Cousin Drew had blue skin and a nasty looking scar under his left eye. Not to mention an obnoxious over-bearing mother; well, he had an obnoxious over-bearing mother, too—the other Mrs. Lipsky, but that wasn't important, seriously.

But Drew and Gre, err, Shego? It made him seriously green with envy. He should have seen it coming, though, with all the time those two spent together.

He'd busted Shego outta prison once; got her to go with him, sorta. If only he hadn't called her an "accessory." How he wished she hadn't rejected him. He could try to win her back…then again the blonde sitting next to him had potential. She looked like she might even ride a motorcycle, seriously.

He licked his fingers and smoothed out his eyebrows. (You didn't think he'd slick back his hair, did you? Seriously!) He leaned in a little, getting close enough to Adrena Lynn so he could whisper to her.

"So, uh, Stunt Babe, I'm lost, so could you like, you know, give me directions…" he paused, "to your heart. Seriously!"

She said nothing, leaving Motor Ed feeling uncomfortable. He sat back in his seat and looked at the wall for the remainder of the ceremony.

O

At the coffee shop after the ceremony, Ed sat in a corner by himself. He was looking back and forth between Shego and Adrena Lynn, all the while wondering why DNAmy was lugging around a monkey-man statue. Seriously, it was whack!

Every once in a while, Shego would catch him looking at her, and he would quickly look away, not wanting to provoke her, 'cause he, like, knew how testy that woman could get.

But one time, while his attention was focused on Adrena Lynn, Shego sat down in the chair in his field of vision, startling him.

"Green Baaaaaay…" he searched quickly for the right words as Shego's hands burned green. "Shego," he gulped. She put her hand down. He changed his tone. "What do you want, seriously? I'm a little busy right now."

"Yeah, I can see that," Shego said, following Ed's line of sight, right to Adrena Lynn. "You like her, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Shego," he hoped she wouldn't see past his lie.

"Oh come on, Ed. I saw you at the ceremony. You were totally denied."

"You don't even know what I said."

"I don't have to. But I do know it was some kind of lame-o pick-up line," she goaded him. He knew she was right. "So, which one did you use? "'Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?' Or… or… or what about 'Are you from Tennessee?'" Shego laughed.

"No," Motor Ed groaned, laying his awesome head on his arms on the table.

He was staring right through Stunt Babe now, thinking. If he were the one with the blue skin and a nasty scar, he wouldn't be in this mess right now.

"Hello? Ed? Yoo-hoo," Shego said, waving her unusually bare hand in front of his face. He snapped to.

"Huh? Oh, you again. Well, I've got better things to do, seriously." Ed stood up, mainly to get away from Shego, and walked over to Adrena at her table with DNAmy and the petrified monkey-man.

"So, Stunt Babe, how would you like to go out with…" Before Ed knew it, Adrena had reached for her cup of ice water and threw it in his face. That was seriously cold. He sat back down at the table with Shego, soaking wet.

"Well, that went well," she smirked. Ed was none too amused.

"She just doesn't like me is all. Seriously."

Shego shook her head in disapproval at Ed and sighed. "Look, Eddie, I bet Adrena Lynn would like you a lot better if you didn't call her 'Stunt Babe.' You have to treat women with respect. Calling her "babe" is pretty sexist."

"So, like, what should I call her then?"

"Why don't you try using her name? It works better."

"But what if I don't know her name, seriously?" Shego smiled widely, wickedly, showing Ed her sparkling white teeth, made even more fearsome to him by her dark lipstick.

"I'll let you figure that one out on your own," she finished, through now clenched teeth. He watched her get up and saunter back over to Cousin Drew's table where he and some yellow dude with a lead helmet were talking.

Cousin Drew is one lucky son of a goat, seriously! Ed thought, watching Shego walk away. Then he got up from his table and walked over to introduce himself to Adrena Lynn.

The End. Seriously!

I hope you enjoyed. :D

Just a fun little note: The word "seriously" appears 13 times in this story, not including the title or "The End. Seriously." If you count those, there are 15, and if you count the two I just added down here, 17. Have a nice day!