Disclaimer: Yeah, I own it, but because I love writing it so much, I also write fanfiction. Yeah, as if.
AN: First attempt at Bones fanfiction and I think I've done pretty well, considering I have only seen six episodes. Constructive critism welcome. Thanks!
I don't know how long I'd been sitting there, soothed by the electronic beating of his heart and the steady rhythm of his breathing. My eyes were looking towards the TV set, but all I saw was my sleeping partner, Seeley Booth. Sometimes, just for a second, I can see how he looked when he found me. Every time I flashback to his expression at that moment, I feel something stir inside me. I'm sure I know what that something is, but I'm almost as sure that I don't want it. Almost. But it's still there.
I look over at Booth and see that the mindless rubbish on TV has put him to sleep. Excellent. Because I need to tell him something that he never needs to hear.
His left hand is lying by his side, outstretched, with the palm up, so I out my right hand palm-to-palm with his left, for comfort more than anything else. I laugh silently, in spite of myself; the difference between our hands is astonishing. My fingers are nearly as long as his, but only half as wide. His palm is warm and soft, yet mine is always cold. But our hands still fit together; the last pieces of a puzzle slotting into place.
Even with no one listening, I'm finding it hard to find the right words.
"I'm sorry I nearly left to go with David earlier. I'm even sorrier that you got blown up for me. I'm sorry you felt you had to hurt yourself to save me. It would have caused a lot less pain to any other FBI agent who might care to unhook me. As for the explosion at my place, as much as I tell myself that it couldn't be helped, I'll still feel guilty. So I apologise, because it's my fault."
I take a breath and collect my thoughts.
"But nearly leaving you? Well. That's totally inexcusable. I am truly sorry. I hope you forgive me, because I came back. I had to. It's impossible to stay away from the person you love, Seeley."
Another breath.
"That's right. I love you. And it's okay. Because no one knows."
I can't stay a second longer. My confession makes the room seem suddenly disjointed. Or maybe that's just me.
But I have to leave, even though I know I'll be back tomorrow because it's impossible to stay away from the person you love.