AN: Warning! I can not say this enough. Warning for Lex/Lionel slash relationship and for Lex/Lionel Sex later on. Alternate ending for Duplicity, and spoilers for that episode, and the first chapter of something interesting. I'm chopping off my original ending to this so we're going to have to wait and see what's going on.

There ain't no reason things are this way.
Its how they always been and they intend to stay.
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
Preachers on the podium speakin' of saints,
Prophets on the sidewalk beggin' for change,
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name.
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing,
You can spend your whole life workin' for something
Just to have it taken away, Bret Dennen.

When my father announced that he was moving into the mansion I wasn't sure whether I should have been more pissed off or more concerned. Despite what he may have told me I knew he was only there for one reason, to take down my company, and pull me back under his control, under his thumb. Father son bonding my ass; the only kind of bonding my father knows how to do is the type that requires a condom.

The first thing I did was…vomit, and then I called up Dad's doctors. Turns out he lied to me, big surprise there. Turns out he was running away, something he—undoubtedly—would have reamed me for, and not in a good way. As soon as I hung up the phone I went to go scream at him, and throw him out of my house.

I always plan out everything I'm going to do and say whenever I have to come into contact with my Dad, because if I'm not I don't do so well. Frankly I don't do well when I don't plan, but at least then I don't act like a headless chicken. The time he almost killed me with a foil, or his reaction to that poor guy with meteor rock poisoning from the plant are examples of crappy planning. Although he hugged me the second time! In front of people!

Of course I knew it didn't mean anything. He was practically whispering, "don't read too much into this," into my ear the whole time. This time I was not going to get caught off guard. No way no how. No more fucking screw-ups. Dad was leaving, end of story.

"Have you seen my father recently?" I asked a nervous looking servant, and instantly realized that the answer was undoubtedly yes. "Look—Rosa…it is Rosa, right? Okay good—whatever he said to you, I'm sorry. He can be a bit…don't worry about him. In a week or two he'll go back to Metropolis, and everything can go back to normal."

"Oh, thank you, Sir. Thank you; thank you; thank you," she explained, behaving as though I had just pulled her out of a burning building. "Mr. Luthor is having his evening meal in the dining room."

"Thank you, Rosa, and if he tries to do whatever it was again, just tell him—tell him you and I are engaged," I told her with a tiny wink. Her cheeks flushed pink, and then the woman scurried off. Bad enough my father comes down her to screw with my head, but threatening my staff—people who wouldn't have jobs if I hadn't of been sent here—people who work their asses off so that I can get my morning coffee just right… I understand how this all must seem, the world's most spoiled brat (save for the Hilton girls) fancies himself the champion of the working class. It's just that I know how hard they work, and my father is an even bigger creep than I imagined for screwing with them to get to me,

By the time I actually made it to the dinning room, I was steaming mad, or at least I was steaming mad until I saw what happened to him shortly after I stepped into the dining room, but before I got a chance to announce my presence. Lionel sat at the table, his food and glasses set up like positions on a clock face, but even this did not seem to be helpful. After four attempts to try and stab the remaining peas with his fork, my father slammed his fist down on the table in frustration. Unfortunately, this action only caused more trouble, as it made his glass slide off the table, and into his lap.

"Damnit!" he shouted, loudly, or at least loud enough to echo through the whole house. I took several steps backwards, so that I could run in as if I had simply been passing by, and had heard him screaming.

"Everything alright in here, Dad?" I asked, attempting to remain as nonchalant as possible. "It's okay," I finished, leaning over the table, and reaching my arm out for Dad to take. "I've done that a million times, this table is…"

"Shut up, Lex, I don't need your pathetic insincerities!" He brushed my arms away, standing on his own, and using one hand to hug the wall so that he wouldn't crash into anything as he walked along.

"I feel a lot of things for you, father, but pity has never been one of them. All I'm trying to do is minimize the amount of damage you do in my house, and that includes not threatening to fire my staff."

"There isn't a thing or a person in this house which belongs to you, Son. Sorry to burst that bubble, which means I can hire and fire whomever I like. Maybe I'll send Dominic down here to be your boss when I crush Lexcorp. How's that sound?"

"He might get bored, not being able to sit under the desk, sucking your cock all day. Of course, on the plus side, once your case of blue balls clear up, you might start acting like a halfway decent father. Then you'll give me the job I've been sucking your cock forever since I was 12. Then all I have to do is throw D in the trunk of my car, drive to beach at low tide, park, and run off."

"Well, if you had been working rather than performing fellatio, you'd have gotten that job by the time you turned thirteen," Dad said chuckling. I was still holding my arm out for him, and just as I was about to drop it, he grabbed me. Well actually he groped the air, blindly, three times before getting my wrist. Then he slammed me up against the wall, roughly, running his hand over my scalp, kissing me passionately, thrusting his slimy tongue in and out of my mouth with an alarming, almost forceful rate.

I really liked it, but at the same time I couldn't what fore him to stop. "What the Hell is the matter with you?" Lionel asked, pulling away. "If you want me to stop you have to actually say the word, no or don't. Otherwise, all I have left is to read your face, since I can't do that anymore, I need you to talk to me."

"I don't want you top stop, well I do—but I'm also—you just said…" and those words were about all I was able to get out. I knew that if I had to keep talking I would start to cry. My father did let go of my wrist, but he hugged me instead. "D—ad," I whimpered.

"I do care about you, Lex. You're my son, and nothing can change that. You're the only thing I have left to really care about. Sure, Dominic is great in bed, but he's a kiss ass who couldn't do his job right if his career depended on it. You, on the other hand, were always my first choice for a replacement, and you are extremely good at this. I'd offer you the job, even if you never let me kiss you, or have sex with you again," he explained, running a finger over my lips, to keep me from talking, and because he likes the feel.

"You're only saying that to get me into bed."

"I'm saying it, because it's true," he told me bluntly, cleared his throat, laughed, and kissed me again. "I'm saying it to possibly change your mind, convince you to comeback to Luthorcorp. Like I said, I don't need you for sex."

"Wh—what position?" I asked, a terrified look plastered across my face. As guilty as I felt over Dad's condition, I couldn't have been happier if he was blind and deaf. Then he'd never figure me out. At least now, he wasn't able to see the look. At least I had that. Before my father could say a word, I grabbed his arm, and started to lead him upstairs. "I don't wanna talk about this right now," I said, pressing my face into his neck.