Ok, so this fic I'm really excited about. In my opinion, it's fucking highlarious and I had an absolute blast writing it. I ship Graylu but my opt is Nalu, so I thought wouldn't it be wonderful to tease Graylu then have Nalu punch it in the face? Yes. Yes, it would. So it started out like that, just the two boys fighting and starting a disaster... then I ran with my imagination and more people got involved. Becuase in Fairy Tail, everyone gets involved in everyone's business. No real time setting. Just meant to be funny and shit.
The exceeds are away on a mission with Wendy. I forgot to weave that in while I was writing, always saying I'd add it on the next page, so there, now ya now.
"Do it."
"What? No!"
"You scared Flame Brain?"
"Lay off Ice Stripper!"
"What are you two arguing about now?" Lucy said coming up to Natsu and Gray who were eating lunch at the bar.
"Nothing!" Natsu said quickly.
Gray smirked at him. "Yeah, nothing important, don't worry about it, Lucy."
But Lucy would worry. It wasn't like the two of them to keep something from her, let alone get along well enough to. "What are you two planning?"
"Lucy, you know us, could we possibly plan something without it blowing up in our faces?" Gray asked.
Lucy smiled. "You guys are right! I'm going back to Erza and Levy. Have fun planning!"
"Well, that was slightly insulting," Gray said as they watched her walk away.
"I'm still not doing it," Natsu said turning to his lunch.
"You are scared aren't you?" Gray snickered.
"Shut up will ya? I said I'm not scared so I'm not afraid got it?" Natsu yelled at him.
"Are we talking about how Natsu is scared to ask out Lucy?" Loke asked.
"When the hell did you get here?" Natsu yelled.
"Sometimes I miss the Guild, no matter how incredible the Spirit World is, there is nothing like getting into a Guild Brawl," Loke smiled. "Or talking with old friends."
"Yeah well, we aren't talking about that," Natsu grumbled.
"Yes, we are," Gray smiled.
"NO WE AREN'T!"
"Are we talking about how Natsu is too much of a puss to ask out Lucy?" Laxus said coming up beside Gray.
"Yup."
"DOES THE WHOLE DAMN GUILD KNOW?" Natsu roared.
"Everyone but Lucy," Laxus answered.
"We think," Gray added.
"Either she doesn't know, or she does, and she's playing dumb," Loke finished.
"I'M NOT DOING IT SO THE THREE OF YA CAN JUST LAY OFF!" Natsu yelled.
"Lay off of what?" Cana asked with a full bottle of beer.
"Nothing," Natsu snapped.
"Ohh, Natsu being a chicken bitch and not asking out Lucy," Cana nodded.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALLED ME!"
"Yup," Gray nodded. "I said he could just do it. What's the worst that could happen?"
"What's the worst that could happen? What's the worst that could happen? I'll tell you the worst that could happen!" Natsu yelled.
"So, Lucy, do you wanna go out on a date with me?" "WHAT? A DATE WITH YOU? AH HA HA HA HA HA HA NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS NATSU! YOU'RE AN IDIOT MAN CHILD! AH HA HA HA HA HA! EVERYONE! EVERYONE! YOU HAVE TO HEAR WHAT NATSU JUST ASKED ME!"
"And then she tells the entire Guild and then the Guild tells the rest of Earthland and I'm forced to leave and live in a cave. Oh, and Happy decides to stay with Lucy." Natsu finished.
The four of them stood blinking at him.
"I have to give it to him," Laxus nodded. "We asked for the worst, and he delivered. That is the worst thing that could happen."
Gray shook his head. "You know that would never happen right?"
"Lucy isn't the type of girl to do something like," Loke nodded.
"Yeah, if anyone is it's me," Cana nodded. "Definitely not her, what would happen is this..."
"So Lucy, do you wanna go out on a date with me?" "I..." Lucy a blush the color of Erza's face quickly crawled up her face. "I..." Her knees began to shake, and sweat broke out. "Are you okay Lucy?" Natsu asked. "I'd love too..." With that, she collapsed to the floor as her ghost left her body.
"Then he revives her, and they go out on a date and get married and have many annoying children," Cana nodded.
The four blinked at her.
"More likely," Laxus nodded.
"A little over exaggerated but I could see it," Gray nodded as well.
"Very over exaggerated," Loke added.
"There is no way she would say yes!" Natsu yelled blushing. "And there is no way we would have a bunch of babies, let alone get married."
"Oh, so you only want one or two?" Laxus asked.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I WANT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"
"Buuuut?" Gray asked.
"Yeah," Natsu grumbled.
"Knew it."
"Can I add another worse case?" Loke asked smirking.
"Oh yeah, please do..." Natsu deadpanned.
"Lucy, do you wanna go out on a date with me?" "OPEN GATE OF LEO THE LIONHEARTED!" "You have dishonored Princess Lucy!" Loke yelled.
"Then I beat the shit outta you and Lucy, and I get married." Loke finished.
Laxus nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, less likely than Cana's. More likely than Natsu's."
Natsu stared at him confused and angry.
"Don't worry Natsu," Laxus smiled. "That's never happening. This is what would happen."
"So, Lucy ya wanna go on a date with me?" "LUCY KICK!"
"Then she ignores you for the rest of her life. Oh and Happy does decide to stay with her." Laxus answered.
Natsu was hitting his head on the table. "This has all made everything so much worse..."
"No no," Gray said. "This is what would happen..."
"So, Lucy, let's go on a date together, my treat!" Lucy's lips wiggle trying to hold back her sobbing as her face turns blue. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO MAKE LUCY CRY? I'LL END YOU!"
"Then Erza beats you to death," Gray concluded.
Laxus nodded. "She does treat Lucy like a little sister. I can see that happening."
"I hate you all," Natsu mumbled.
"How about we make a deal," Loke said. "The four of us each will ask her out."
"WHAT? WHAT TYPE OF A DEAL IS THAT?" Natsu yelled.
"One," Gray said. "Each of us asking her out, you'll see it can't be that bad to ask her yourself. Either to see what happens when she says no, or find out she didn't like you anyway."
"Two," Laxus smiled. "She'll be going on dates with us three, so you'll have to act fast before one of us gets her first."
"Four," Cana corrected.
They all stared at her.
"What? Ya know I go both ways so why not at least try," She shrugged. "Wheres Mira? I'm dying of thirst!"
"Alright fine, the four of us," Gray clarified. "And I haven't seen her for a while."
"You wouldn't dare," Natsu said glaring.
"Ya got one week before we start," Loke answered.
With that, Natsu stormed off with steam following.