Disclaimer: NCIS is in no way owned by this author.
Prologue
Paris, late 1992
Jenny had a goal to achieve. And for that, she had carefully laid down her plans. She wasn't supposed to fall in love. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with Gibbs. For him, she was willing to put those plans on hold. And now, there was something else. Those plans would have to wait. Jenny had done the test last week and was only coming to terms with it. Once the initial shock was over, she was ecstatic. She and Jethro had created this new life. He would be a doting dad and she would be the best mom ever. But first, she had to tell him. She was just looking for the perfect opportunity. Their op was over and they were both waiting for their new orders. They had these days to themselves. They went out and socialized, they made love and they had fun. But lately, Jethro appeared to be distracted, when she asked him about it, he shrugged it away.
"Jethro, is that you?" she called out when she heard the door open.
She went to check when there was no answer. It was him alright, looking even more distant and distracted than ever. No wonder he hadn't answered. It scared her to see him like this. She took a moment to study him. His dark hair were beginning to turn gray. She loved it. It made him look distinguished. Maybe in a few years he'd become a silver fox. Her silver fox. His electrifying blue eyes were just the cherry on the top. She hoped that their baby would inherit looks from his or her father. In fact she knew, she wanted a miniature version of Jethro.
"Jethro?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"
He straightened and managed to produce a smile for her. But it didn't reach his blue eyes.
"I just received some distressing news, but it's nothing really", he said as he walked over to her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked looping her arms around his neck.
The familiar scent of cherries hit his senses, it was what Jenny smelt like. Sunshine and cherries. He dipped his head to kiss her. That was his answer to most problems. Make love and make it go away, at least make it go away from Jenny's mind. This was heaven. She kissed him back. She parted her lips and touched her tongue lightly to his. He broke the kiss. "Talk about what?" he asked before taking her lips in a deep kiss again. She ran her hands in his hair. His hands roamed up and down her back. Jenny had forgotten the question.
Jenny figured that now was a good time as any to share her news. She was bursting with excitement and yet she was hesitant.
"Jethro?"
Jethro sensed the uncertainty in her voice. He had a premonition of what was to come.
"Jethro, I was late. I took a pregnancy test", she waited for his response. When there was none, she carried on, "it was positive. We're having a baby". There, the cat was out of the bag.
Still no response. When she looked at him, she saw a look that wasn't excitement, joy or delight.
He was angry. Angry with himself. Why was he not careful? How did he let this happen? But that was now a moot point. Jenny's pregnancy was a reality.
"When?" he asked.
Jenny relaxed a little. "I haven't seen a doctor, yet. But I think in about seven and a half months."
He was in deep trouble. He didn't know what to do. It was his own fault. There was Jenny, innocent and trusting Jenny. None of it was in his control. He had met Jenny over 5 months ago and had felt that some of the ice covering his heart melted. They had become lovers soon after when they were in Marseille. He knew what he was doing was wrong, Jenny would hate him for it, but he couldn't help it. He knew she was in love with him, and that made it even more unforgivable. He loved her too. But it would never be enough. He couldn't offer Jenny anything other than his support. Would she accept that? Or would she demand more? God knew, it was her right, especially now that she was carrying his child.
"Jen," he began. But then broke off. He couldn't find words.
He tried again. His failure to do so alerted Jenny. "You don't want the baby", she accused. She sounded hurt.
"No!" it came out as a shout, startling Jenny. He checked himself. "I want the baby. Don't think that I don't. It's just that things are complicated."
Jenny had a sick feeling. Married men used that ploy to get rid of their paramour. Is that what Jethro was? A married man? And she his mistress? The thought was repulsive to her. She prayed that she was wrong.
"Just say it, Jethro" she whispered.
"I cannot give you what you deserve." He paused. "I cannot marry you. But I will make sure that you and the baby are provided for."
She was shaken. "Why?" With that she drove the final nail in her coffin.
He looked at her. Indecision clouding his eyes. Then she saw it, the resolve to answer her.
"I'm married. I have been for ten years."
That broke her and she shattered into a million pieces. There was complete and utter silence. It made her sick to think that he belonged to another woman. Another woman had touched him, kissed him and had felt him move deep inside her. Then a thought occurred to her. It made her even sicker. She, Jenny, was the other woman. She had usurped someone else's right. She pitied his wife, the unsuspecting, innocent wife far more than she pitied herself for being a game for Jethro. In that minute she hated him. Hated him with everything in her. Jethro had always appeared to be a man of honor. But he had dishonored her. He had dishonored his vows to his wife. What kind of a person did that make him?
"Say something, Jen".
That shook Jenny out of her stupor. Her lips still buzzed from his kiss. She could still taste him. That made the fire of his betrayal burned bright.
"What is there to say, Jethro?" Her voice was calm. Too calm. It was indicative of the storm to come. "You cheated on your wife and I was the instrument. She wasn't here and you screwed me. You couldn't go long without sex, is that it?"
"Jen, it wasn't like that! I can explain –" he almost yelled.
"They all say that." She said. Again, her voice was calm.
She went back into the bedroom, pulled out a bag and began packing her belongings. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that he had followed her. It amazed her that he still had the audacity to explain himself.
"Jenny, listen to me" he pleaded.
"I have heard all that was needed. Now, get out and let me pack" she threw at him. He grabbed her wrist to make her listen. His hold was too strong and it hurt. She shook it off.
"I hate you, and I hate myself even more for being a gullible fool. Haven't you inflicted enough damage already? It's terrible as it is, and I have the misfortune of being pregnant by you. What am I going to do?" The last was more for her own benefit rather than Jethro.
Oh no! Jenny wouldn't do that. He hoped she wouldn't. He also knew that he'd lost any right to her or the baby. But he wouldn't stand by and let her contemplate a termination.
"The baby –" he began, but she cut him off.
"Is none of your concern. The mistress and the bastard are hardly of any importance", she spat.
He flinched at her choice of words.
He took her by the shoulders. "Don't call yourself or the baby that. Ever"
"You're hurting me" she said and he loosened his grip.
"I wish I wasn't pregnant. Not by you. I hate you so much."
"Jenny, you won't have a termination, will you?"
She finished packing and looked up.
"What I have or don't have is none of your damned business anymore. You made sure of that" she shot back at him. Then she proceeded to wheel the bag out of the apartment.
"Jen," he called as he followed her. "Where will you go?" he asked.
"That's none of your business" she spat.
She didn't give him a chance to say anything and she didn't stop. The door banged shut behind her.
Gibbs picked up the nearest item and hurled it at the wall. His life was a royal mess and he had managed to mess it up even further. Jenny would never come back to him. As for the baby, he didn't know what Jenny would decide. With the news he had received today, it was impossible to follow Jenny right away. He had to head back to D.C as soon as he could and take care of matters. But when he got back to Paris, he would make her listen to him.