This came to mind and it wouldn't let go. Just how I'd love to see Rachel react to the news that Finn kissed Emma.

This will be in three parts. The wedding/non-wedding will be covered in the next one and have plenty of smut. And the last part will be the resolution to everything.

This wasn't how she'd imagined things would go after Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury's wedding. She was dating someone else...someone who wasn't the man with his lips attached to her neck as he unzipped her dress. If there was one thing that Rachel Berry knew...she was probably going to hell after this night, for cheating on a man she didn't really love no matter how much she tried with the man she knew she would always love. And she also knew that as much as she should care about that fact...she could never regret anything when it came to Finn Hudson.

Three days earlier...

"I'll be back later Daddies! I'm going out for a bit!" Rachel called as she buttoned up her red coat, wanting to pick up a few things for her movie night with Kurt and Santana later that evening.

The chilly wind sliced through her even with the coat on and she hurried to the car sitting in front of the house and climbed in. She rubbed her hands together, checking her phone for the fifth time that day as the car warmed up a little. She'd texted Brody a few hours earlier and there was still no reply from her live-in boyfriend. Shaking her head, and trying to ignore the little voice in her head that reminded her that Finn had never ignored a text from her when they were together-not even if he'd been asleep when he'd gotten it-she decided that her first stop would be for a cup of coffee from the Lima Bean to help keep her warm and running since she was bound to be up late tonight.

There weren't many people in line when she reached the Lima Bean and she looked around as she waited, spotting the familiar figure of her ex-fiance hunched over some papers as his fingers fiddled with a pen. Seeing him sent a bolt of longing through her body, and she admitted to herself for the first time, just how much she missed him. It looked like he was deep in thought, the cup in front of him partially ignored as his teeth dug into his lip. She knew just from the set of his jaw and the tension in his shoulders that there was something serious bothering him. She gathered her courage as she took her coffee, not realizing how much she'd missed the Lima Bean's coffee until she took a sip, and walked over to Finn's table.

"Hi..." she said softly, drawing his attention from whatever it was he was doing.

Finn's eyes were conflicted and Rachel was immediately even more worried about him than she already had been. Without a thought she took the chair s at set her coffee on the table. It didn't matter that they hadn't spoken since the night of the showcase, or that they had been engaged this time last year, or even that they weren't supposed to be talking. Finn had been her first friend, her best friend and she had been his, no matter what Noah thought.

"Hey." he replied, watching her with his emotions suddenly much more guarded. She'd never seen him look at her like that before, he'd always been an open book...even when they'd been broken up.

"I saw you...when I was in line just now waiting to get a coffee." she said, watching as he sat back, not relaxed but definitely more at ease than he had just moments before. He'd let go a little bit of the guarded look but she was able to tell that whatever was bothering him was something big. "And...you look like something is bothering you...and I thought maybe you'd like to talk about it."

She watched silently as he seemed to deliberate about what to do, whether or not he should confide in her about this. "I did something really bad." he finally whispered, choosing to confide in her. Somehow she knew he hadn't told anyone else what he was about to say, not Kurt...not Puck...not even Mr. Schue. "Like extra bad."

"Finn whatever it was I'm sure that its not that bad." she said, leaning forward and holding his face in her hands. His skin was warm under her hands and it took every ounce of self control not to lean in and kiss him deeply like she would have in the past. Where had that urge come from? she asked herself, trying to force herself to remember Brody's touch and kisses. But with Finn so close all she could think about was the way his mouth felt against hers, the way he just understood her body without having to ask if what he was doing was okay or just assuming she liked it.

"I kissed Miss Pillsbury...like on the mouth."

Rachel sat back in her chair, hands falling from Finn's face. Whatever it was she had expected to hear that was the last thing. Finn...her Finn had kissed Miss P? As in the woman getting married in three days to their former teacher? The very wedding he was going to be best man in?

"You kissed Miss Pillsbury?" she asked, feeling all sorts of emotions running through her. Her head seemed to start shaking on its own as she processed this information. Finn wasn't supposed to be kissing their soon-to-be-married former guidance counselor-he wasn't supposed to be kissing anyone. "How could you, Finn? How could you go and just kiss someone? You're not supposed to just go around kissing people. You know how much you mean to me and for you-"

"Whoa!" he called, brow pulled down in what looked like hurt and anger. "Put the brakes on this train to crazy town right now." She watched as he shook his head and what seemed to be disbelief. "I can't...I-I don't...I have to go."

Finn stood, head still shaking as he gathered his papers and shoved them into a folder before sliding the folder into a bag she remembered Kurt buying in New York. She hadn't known it was for Finn at the time, but seeing him sling the bag over his shoulder made her see how good of a fit the leather satchel was for him. She grabbed her coffee, following him out into the frigid February air.

"You can't just run from this too, Finn!" she called out, half stomping towards him.

She was almost scared by the look on his face when he whirled around, just a few paces from his truck. Finn had never looked at her like that before and it was slightly terrifying but also something that took her breath away. Hurt, pain, anger, and something that looked like a combination of heartbreak and longing were etched into every line of his face.

"You don't get to tell me what I can and can not do anymore, Rachel." he half shouted, "You broke up with me. You ended our relationship for good. You're the one that ran off into the arms of another guy, so you don't really have any room to talk about running away from your problems."

Rachel stared at him. Finn had never spoken to her like this before. He'd always been gentle with her. It struck her that this new side to Finn was another sign of him moving on. And just like the thought of him kissing someone else didn't appeal to her, neither did Finn moving on.

"I was left all alone in New York. I had nothing, no one. Kurt wasn't even there for me the first week I was there. It was terrifying, Finn! You left me on a train! You told me to chase my dreams and become a star! That's what I'm trying to do! I'm only doing what you told me to do! Which by the way, I never had any opinion on whatsoever. You have no right to get mad at me for anything when you're the one that let me go in the first place." She glared at him, but also felt a weight being lifted off of her shoulders as she finally confessed the things she'd been feeling for so long. She'd ignored all of this when he'd first shown up in New York, just so happy to have him back and with her. She had cared but having him in her apartment had been enough at the time to make her ignore it. And after Grease they hadn't been speaking so she hadn't been able to get it out. Even now their communication was limited to the occasional text and like on facebook. "Kurt even said to me, just before you showed up on our doorstep. That my freedom was a gift you gave me so I gave you the same gift on that stage when I broke up with you! It was for your own good! So that you could see what I always had seen in you! You were just supposed to find a dream and come back to me! That's the way it's supposed to be, Finn!"

"So you're allowed to move on and I can't? I'm just supposed to wait in the wings with my dream until you decide that I'm worthy of you now? Until you get bored with that douchebag and decide that I'm what you want again?" he asked, voice practically a hiss. "I didn't send you to New York so you could shack up with the first guy who showed an interest in your ass, Rachel! I sent you there so you wouldn't waste time waiting for me when your future was right there just waiting for you to take it!"

Rachel didn't get the chance to respond before he stalked away, climbing into his trcuk and driving away towards his home. She still couldn't believe the way he'd just spoken to her. They had been engaged for goodness sake and he was acting now like that hadn't meant anything. She went back to her car, errands forgotten in the aftermath of her fight with Finn.

Her mind dwelled on the disagreement the whole time she waited for Kurt and Santana to arrive for the movie they wanted to watch together. Santana got there first and could tell there was something on Rachel's mind. She might have only been living with Kurt and Rachel for a week but she'd known the brunette long enough to know how she acted when there was something weighing on her.

"Would you like to inform me what went on between you and my brother earlier?" Kurt asked once he'd arrived and the trio was settled in the basement. "Because I know all of the different Finn Hudson levels of anger and this was a strange cross between 'Rachel is infuriating' and 'I can't believe that fucking just happened.'"

"How do you know it was something I did?" she asked.

"Because I got at least that much out of him before he snapped at me." he replied softly, as though whatever had happened between hm and Finn had upset him. "And I can't blame him for snapping at me after hearing how he feels."

Rachel wanted to exchange a confused look with Santana but the Latina seemed to be on the verge of nodding in agreement. Didn't Kurt know that his brother was moving on from her?

"Hearing what Hudson feels about what? I don't want to start talking shit about him if he's actually got a point."

"About how I've barely had his back since October." Kurt admitted, shaking his head. "And he was right. After I went to Dalton...Finn had my back. I know he should have before then but ever since then he's never let me down. And I haven't been giving him the same support recently. I've barely spoken to him and when I have...it's been about me. I've had your back this whole time, Rachel...and I basically left my brother in the cold. He learned about your boy toy moving in over Facebook, when I should have been the one to tell him so it didn't kill him more!"

"Jesus, Hummel." Santana said, both Kurt and her ignoring the way Rachel looked at them.

Was she the only one seeing that Finn was moving on? There was no possible way that hearing Brody had moved into the apartment had "killed" Finn. The reminder thath er former lover was moving on hurt and she looked down at her lap.

"So," she heard Santana say, "What did put Finnocence in such a pissy mood? 'Cause God knows I'm not his biggest fan but even I know he doesn't lose his shit like that unless he's got a real reason."

Rachel could feel both Kurt and Santana watching her, waiting for her to explain. Obviously she was the only one here who knew what had happened and they knew she'd spill sooner or later. She sighed before meeting their gazes, and telling them the whole story about seeing Finn at the Lima Bean. She left out the part about him having kissed Emma, saying only that he'd told her something that had started the whole discussion in the first place. She knew Kurt and Santana were interested in what he'd said to her but that was something she was going to keep between the two of them. No one else needed to know about that. She looked at Santana as she finished, wondering why the girl was laughing and shaking her head as though this was the biggest joke in the world to her.

"I'm sorry, Berry." the Latina said once she had stopped laughing though her shoulders were still shaking a little. "But you realize he's actually right, don't you? You were trying to tell him that it's fine if you have...whatever the fuck it is you have right now but that he's not even allowed to consider moving on."

"I did not!" Rachel cried, outraged at the suggestion.

"Yeah, mini-Babs you did. What did you say that you'd said to him? He was supposed to find his dream and come back to you? Why the fuck would he think that you wanted him back if he got his shit together when you're off having really bad sex with Donkey and asking him to live in your apartment?"

"Donkey?" Kurt asked, cutting off Rachel as she tried to defend her physical relationship with Brody.

"He's a character in those Shrek movies. Britts loves them so I've seen them a bunch of times. First time I saw Brody I gots reminded of him." Santana said, pointing one finger at Rachel and shaking her head. "And oh please, Berry. It might have been once but even I know that Hudson is better in the sack for two reasons. One, those are the fakest moans I've heard since I was fucking Puckerman. Two...no way that Donkey is hung like a horse. And we both know-"

"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALA!" Kurt nearly screamed, blocking his ears. "I don't need to hear that about my brother!"

"And you think I wanna talk about this?" she asked, shoulders giving a mostly fake shudder. "The last thing I wanna do is even remember that happened but if it's gonna snap her out of whatever crazy trip she's on I will. Face it, Berry, the boy toy doesn't satisfy you like Finny did."

Rachel ducked her head, knowing she couldn't truthfully deny Santana's words. Even just seeing Finn earlier that day had sparked feelings in her that Brody had never even come closer to achieving. Her ex-fiance was better than Brody could be for her-both physically and emotionally. "Alright, fine. I will concede that your words are true." she said, hopng her cheeks weren't pink at all. "Comparing the two Finn is the much better lover."

"Because you're in love wth him still." Santana supplied before Rachel could say anything more. "And it's clear he's still in love with you. I heard that he won't even look at other girls unless they're in glee."

"Say whatever you want about my feelings for Finn," Rachel said, trying not to let Santana's words affect her. There was no way that Finn was still in love with Rachel. She was sure he was beginning to move on. "But it is very clear to me, if no one else, that Finn is moving on from what we share..shared."

"He's not, Rachel." Kurt replied, moving to the floor and kneeling in front of her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. "First of all I know Finn better than most people and I can tell by looking at him that he still loves you more than anything. And Carole told me that for a while the only thing that made him smile was working on the musical and then with the glee club. There are still pictures of the two of you in his room and I know for a fact that there is a folder full of sheet music and lyrics that are songs that make him think of you. Rumor has it he'll be singing something at the wedding and that it'll come from said folder."

Rachel ducked her head again, hiding her face from Kurt and Santana with her hair. She wanted to believe Kurt's words, that Finn did still love her, still wanted to be with her in the end. But how could she believe that when he was kissing other people? When he wasn't waiting for her...she groaned softly, realizing she was proving exactly what both Finn and Santana had been saying to her. She had been expecting him to just wait for her, to just be there when she was done with her fling with Brody. As much as she tried to convince herself in New York that what she had with Brody was actually something, she knew she couldn't. Being in Lima and seeing Finn was proving just that. No one could make her feel the way Finn Hudson did. She'd tried moving on...made it seem to most everyone that she had moved on from the tall boy she still loved and had told Finn that he wasn't allowed to do the same.

"I'll be right back." she whispered, standing and moving around Kurt and heading up the stairs with her phone clutched tightly in her hand.

She ignored the text from Brody, a reply to her text from that morning, and tapped out a message of her own to Finn.

I'm sorry...about earlier. You were right about what I was saying...and I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to tell you that. You're allowed to do what you want.

She couldn't help the smile that came over her face when she received a reply a few minutes later. It's whatever now, Rach. I'll see you at the wedding.

Of course, Finn. Save me a dance?

Yeah...I will.

Satisfied that things were okay for her and Finn for the moment, Rachel headed back down to where Kurt and Santana were for their movie night.