The Christmas Challenge

Roman didn't particularly care for Christmas, and he never really had. Granted, he could now recognize that there was...some merit to the holiday; he did think there were likely much better ways to celebrate generosity and he did think that it was sort of fruitless to teach giving by sending gifts to ungrateful people who had no need for them, but he'd long since stopped caring enough to voice his opinion on the matter most of the time. He just...stayed away from it all. He would never set up decorations or a tree, he didn't give out gifts (or, generally accept them for that matter), and hell would have to freeze over if he was caught baking Christmas cookies.

He didn't go to parties, and he didn't even take time off—in fact, every Christmas day for the past ten years he'd used the day to reorganize his library and write up all his bills for December (he appreciated the fact the all his clients took off for the holidays sometimes). Everyone who knew Roman knew (and accepted, on occasionally begrudging levels) that he did not celebrate the holidays, and they all let him go about his business. Except this year, somewhere around two in the afternoon on Christmas day, he came to the realization that someone hadn't quite caught the memo. And that someone...was Ruby.

It was no surprise to him, considering the message of cheerfulness and generosity, that Ruby would be a fan of this holiday. It was a little more of a surprise that she had shown up on his doorstep in a twinkling Santa hat and an ugly Christmas sweater, complete with a laundry sack over her shoulder. He'd snorted when he caught view of her in the video camera, wondering only vaguely at what had enticed her to come over before clicking the audio receiver.

"You know, I think you might be visiting me a little too often, Red. You don't have some sort of ulterior motive, do you?"

["H-Hey! You know you could answer the door by saying hello for once!"]

"I think you might dodge that accusation a little too quickly," Roman smirked and leaned his head on the wall. "I'm assuming that you want to be let in?"

["Oh! Yeah, I have some presents to give you! I thoughts you'd be at the Club party but you weren't there so uhh...I left kinda early?"]

"Guessing that in this context, 'kinda' is your way of saying 'extremely'?"

["M-Maybe."]

"Aha. Cute outfit, by the way. Very...festive. Do me a favor and take off anything glittery before you come into my place."

["O-Okay! I'll be right up!"]

Roman buzzed her in and went back to the shelf he'd been organizing, a smile teased at his lips while he waited for the woman to crash through the doorway. A few moments later, she was in the archway, with her sweater and Christmas hat removed to reveal a scarlet shoulder less top to go with her usual ankle length skirt. She beamed as she placed her sack on the ground and ran up to hug him.

"Merry Christmas!" Ruby giggled, her arms capturing him in a tight hug as the force of her weight nearly knocked him off balance.

"Hello Red," he coughed, wrapping his free arm around her as she buried her face into his chest. "I see you're feeling rather affectionate today."

"It's Christmas! Christmas is always a good time to be extra affectionate!"

"Oh? What kind of "extra affection" are we talking about here?"

"Romaaaaan," Ruby finally looked up at him, her cheeks puffed out to give her best pout. "Don't be gross on Christmas!"

"Darling, I hate to point this out but, you do make it far too easy."

She growled softly, and he couldn't help but to grin. "Meanie."

"I try," Roman shrugged as Ruby loosened her grip and went back to get the sack she'd hauled in, and he took it as an opportunity to continue organizing the shelf, but spoke up again. "So. What exactly is that bag for?"

"Oh. They're uh...they're Christmas presents. And movies. And... things. Christmas things."

"Huh," Roman considered this a moment. "Who for?"

"You, silly."

"Hm. Correct me if I'm wrong, Red, but I seem to recall telling you that I don't celebrate Christmas."

"Wellllll...you did mention it...and Junior mentioned it...and Neo...Perry...Weiss..."

Roman looked back at Ruby, his eyebrows raised as she avoided looking at him much in the manner that a guilty child would. "So what you're telling me is that...everyone told you that I don't celebrate Christmas."

Her cheeks darkened to an alarming shade of red. "...Yeah."

"And yet you came here anyway. Presumably to force me into celebrating the occasion?"

Ruby's face somehow darkened, and he watched her bite her lip before blurting out an excuse. "Okay, but in my defense, Junior said you used to."

"Christ, Red..."

"And I wasn't expecting any presents in return I just really wanted to buy you presents and spend the holidays with you."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but that doesn't change my stance on the matter. If you're looking to waste money on someone, there's always charity."

"I donate to charity all year, Roman. Giving people Christmas gifts is different."

"And you don't need to use a holiday as an excuse to spend time with me."

Ruby puffed out her cheeks at that. "I like to spend my holiday with my loved ones. That includes you."

"I told you I was going to work on the holidays. That is why we scheduled that movie date two days from now."

"Oh, that's happening too, Christmas just happens to be first."

"You're being excessively stubborn about this, you know that, right?" Roman graced Ruby with a light glare, but in response she merely nodded and closed the distance between them, the bag of presents still in tow.

"In all honesty," she said softly as she stopped a hair's width away from him, "you'd have way more success arguing with a wall than convincing me not to spoil you for Christmas."

"Hmm...I do like being spoiled, but...I am rather picky about gifts. And since I didn't make a list, I doubt you got anything I like."

"I'd be willing to bet otherwise," Ruby replied immediately, causing him to smirk and lean down towards her.

"Is that a challenge?"

"It is"

"What are the stakes?"

"Winner chooses the movie two days from now. Loser buys dinner and drinks."

"Hmm...not high enough," Roman paused before his smirk widened into a grin and he brought his finger up to her chin. "How about...if I win, I get to choose your pajamas every time you spend the night. And yes...I count no pajamas as an option."

"Fine. But if I win, you have to celebrate Christmas with me from now on. And you're coming back to the party with me."

"Hm. Fair enough." Roman's smile widened a little before he leaned in to kiss her, an affection that she readily returned. He reached a hand down as he pulled her a little closer to him, his fingers snaked their way over the sack and pulled it out of her grasp. He chuckled as their lips parted, and he studied the bag before turning his gaze back to Ruby. His grin returned to his lips—he was going to enjoy proving her wrong. "Well then, Red. You're on."

oooOOOooo

Ruby watched Roman sit down on the couch with all the confidence of someone who thought they had victory in the bag. She smiled a little to herself at the notion. True, she could have utterly missed the mark on everything she'd bought him, but even in that unlikely case...he'd still taken the bait and was going to open them. Ruby brought her fingers up to her lips and giggled a little as she followed him to the couch.

Honestly, the deal posed a win win for her either way, because while it would suck if Roman didn't celebrate next year...no pajamas did seem like fun. She bit her lip as she sat down at the couch, and Roman brought her back to reality by...practically reading her mind.

"You're thinking about something dirty, aren't you?"

Ruby flustered in a heartbeat. "No!"

"Yes."

"...Meanie."

"You know you love me," Roman smirked and leaned in for another kiss, lingering on her lips only a moment before pulling back and tilting his head. "By the way...if I lose, you can still go without pajamas if you want to. I certainly won't stop you."

Ruby blushed near the color of her shirt. "As if I'd want to fulfill your pervy fantasies."

"Red, my dear, you and I both know that you're the pervert in this relationship. It's just not common knowledge to everyone else."

"...Anyway..."

He cut her off with a laugh. "Alright, I'll let you change the subject."

"You should start opening presents now," Ruby noted, her cheeks still beet red with embarrassment.

"Right...I have someone to prove wrong..." Roman looked back to the sack sitting on the other side of him and rummaged through it. He pulled out a swollen stocking a moment later, and a soft chuckle fell from his lips. "Well someone certainly went all out."

Ruby smirked. "Isn't 'go big or go home' your mantra or something?"

"...You're not wrong...let's see here..." Roman dug into the Christmas sock, pulling out gifts and offering a little offhanded comment with each one. "You know...I don't actually like oranges."

"That's a load of bologna, you eat them all the time."

"Did you...draw my face on it?"

"Nope. Neo did."

He sighed at that. "Of course she did."

"There's more in there you know."

"I know I know...why did you get me post it notes?"

"You always complain about running out."

"So you're helping me restock my work supply?"

"Yup."

"Huh. Well you got the wrong kind."

"No I didn't! You use the square kind on everything!"

"Yes, but I get a bargain brand. They're cheaper and they stick better."

"Are you actually being that picky about this?"

Roman grinned ear-to-ear at that. "Yes."

Ruby grumbled a little at that. "...Fine. Just hurry up and open the rest!"

"Pushy pushy, Red..."

"Shut up!"

He laughed as he pulled a Santa shaped chocolate bar out of the stocking. "I didn't know you supported cannibalism."

"Roman!"

"And I have plenty of socks."

"There's nothing wrong with having a few extra pairs."

"You bought me expensive coffee?"

"You complain about the cheap stuff."

"I never complain about the cheap stuff. And this isn't pre-ground, so I can't use it."

"Just finish the stocking already."

"Fine..." Roman reached into the bottom of the sock and pulled out a small wooden box. He opened it briefly before snapping it shut and gracing her with a frown. "You know I don't smoke anymore."

"Yeah, but you said you missed the aesthetic, so I got you candy cigars."

"...Do I look like a five-year-old to you?"

"That depends on the day and the angle."

"I'm mildly concerned that the angle was included in that."

"It factors in," Ruby shrugged, "and those are the sugar kind, so you can light them on fire if you want."

"So they're literally caramelize-able cavity sticks designed to resemble mouth cancer death wraps. How quaint."

"...I thought you'd like them."

"I can see that."

Ruby's brow furrowed in irritation. "Just open the rest of the gifts, okay?"

"Alright alright..." Roman sighed and dug into the bag again. He pulled out a stout box in shiny silver wrapping paper and a green bow, and began to unwrap it at a slow, deliberately agonizing pace, his gaze drifting over to meet hers as his smirk widened. She groaned in frustration.

"Stop teasing me!"

"Oh, but you make it so easy."

"If you keep being a jerk, I'm not letting you unwrap the last present."

"Oh? Is there something special about that present?"

"Very special. It can walk and talk and I know for a fact that you like it unwrapped." Ruby made eye contact with Roman, holding his gaze as the recognition of what she meant crept onto his face, and he bit his lip a split second before turning away from her.

"Finally, I have some incentive to behave myself."

"As if you didn't realize that was one of your Christmas gifts."

"I didn't, and I don't factor it into our bet."

"Why not?"

"Red, you know for a fact that there is no way I wouldn't like seeing you naked tonight."

"I think that means I win automatically."

"…You also don't come with a bow."

"…Fine."

Roman chuckled and turned his attention back to the gift and began unwrapping it at a reasonable pace. After a moment, he raised his eyebrows and turned the unwrapped gift around in his hands. "A coffee grinder?"

"Now you can use the expensive coffee beans, can't you?"

"…Yeah, but I'm never gonna use it again after I run out of that coffee."

"Then I'll buy you more."

"That's entirely unnecessary."

"Not if I want to, it isn't."

"…Suit yourself then." Roman shrugged and dug out the last four presents in the bag and graced Ruby with a sidelong glance. "I think you might have gonna have gone a little overboard."

"I have the money to go overboard."

"…Right. I keep forgetting that you get paid far too much."

"Being one of the heroes of Vale has to have its benefits."

"Ah huh. Well, let's start with the smallest…" Roman picked the small flat box off the top and tested its weight. "I'm guessing it's a movie."

"I won't say anything until you open it."

"Leave me in suspense, why don't you…ah. Pirates of the Spaceways…didn't we see a trailer for this on one of our movie dates?"

"Yup! It got a really good reception when it came out, and you had said it looked interesting, so…"

"Interesting for a space adventure. Not something I'd generally go out of my way to watch."

"W-Well I thought you'd like the main character. You've got a lot in common with him."

"Hm. Doesn't mean I'll like him though."

Ruby puffed her cheeks out in frustration. "Fine then."

He laughed a little. "Don't be so sour, darling, I did warn you that I'm picky."

"I think this might be pushing it. And maybe a bit of theatrics at this point."

"Oh?"

"I'd willingly wager that you're intentionally trying to act like you dislike these gifts more than you actually do."

"You can't prove that though."

"True," Ruby conceded, "but there are three more gifts that might make you slip up."

"We'll see. Now then…" Roman lifted another present off the pile and unwrapped it to reveal a white rectangular gift box. "Clothes. Pretty standard Christmas present…" Roman set the present down on the coffee table and moved to the next one, causing Ruby to raise her eyebrows.

"You aren't gonna check what it is?"

"I prefer to shop for my own clothes, so unless it's miraculously exactly the kind I want, I'm probably just going to return it anyway."

"I underestimated just how infuriating you could be about this."

He grinned at that. "What can I say? It's a specialty of mine."

"Mm…you'd think I'd remember that by now."

"You'd think. And now to the gift I've been meaning to ask about since the beginning. Now, tell me, Red, because I have to know: why is this box so heavy?" Roman lifted up the longest, largest box still left on his lap and placed the smaller one on the coffee table. Ruby struggled to contain her smirk. "What did you put in this? Rocks?"

"Maaaaaaybe."

"…It better not be…"

"Why not? I thought you wanted to dislike these gifts. Unless you mean that a box of rocks is exactly what you wanted this year."

Roman hesitated, his fingers freezing at the corners of the green wrapping paper while he thought on this. "Yes. I was in need of a better idiot repellent, and I heard that they go away faster if you throw rocks at them."

"Huh. Well I'll have to keep a mental note of that for next year."

"At the moment, there is no next year."

"Mm…yeah, if you don't like that gift or the one after it, I might die of shock."

"No need to be that dramatic…hold on, is this…?"

Roman turned the gift over in his lap and ripped the wrapping paper off a little faster, leading Ruby to smile a little wider. With the wrapping paper discarded, he turned it over again to reveal a fifteen-piece hardcover book collection. Roman's excitement showed plainly on his face for a moment before he realized his expression and tried to relax his face.

"…Oliver Lloyd," Roman said in an even tone. "You know I've already read these, right?"

"Oh, I know. I also know that you've reread them several times and have the Vale library's copy of the fifth volume currently checked out."

"Well I still don't need these."

"If you really don't want them, I can take them back…" Ruby started to reach out for the collection, but as she did Roman wrapped his arms around it and turned away. She could barely contain the giggle that threatened to escape her lips as she watched him. "Roman?"

"…I'm merely testing the leather quality. It seems a little fake."

Ruby snorted at that before sitting up on the couch and leaning over his shoulder until her lips grazed his ear. "Don't be too sour, darling. I'll still sleep over without pajamas sometimes."

"It would have been more fun if you had lost the bet though."

"Being a sore loser, I take it?"

"…No, I give. This is a remarkably fantastic gift." Roman turned his head and pecked Ruby on the lips. "Well played, Red."

"Thank you," she smiled and leaned over to pick the last gift off the coffee table before sitting down again. "Now…one last gift…and I'm willing to bet that it's a winner."

"Alright, you're the boss, Red…" Roman turned back towards Ruby and took the gift, a soft smile teased at the corners of his lips as he began to take off the shiny blue wrapping paper. Once the paper was removed and the brown box beneath was showing, he wasted no time opening it up to reveal the contents. "Aha…a fancy drink mixing set…" Roman chuckled as he pulled out the shot glasses Ruby had added to the gift, each with the words "good idea" and "bad idea" printed at the top and bottom of the glass. "And matching shot glasses with cheeky commentary. I'm starting to think you might know me too well."

"Well we have been together for almost a year now," Ruby noted with a soft smirk.

"That we have," Roman smiled and leaned in to kiss her again. He pulled her back towards him, and she chuckled into the kiss as she followed until she was sitting on his lap. The kiss broke into another, and after one soft tug on his lower lip, Ruby pulled away and graced him with a half-hearted smirk.

"Now, that we've chosen me as the winner of our wager…we have a party to get back to."

Roman's expression withered into a pout. "Five more minutes?"

"We can pick back up on this when we get back. In the meantime…" she smirked and arched back to reach the white clothing box Roman had thrown aside earlier before coming back and tapping him in the chest with the box. "You're gonna want to get ready."

oooOOOooo

To the winner goes the spoils…and the privilege of picking out the tol's ugly Christmas sweater. Merry belated Christmas, nerds.