A/N: This is my take on the prompt. mamcyno has hers posted over on AO3 which is simply gorgeous, and so much more than I could have imagined.
I hope I've done it justice!
Disclaimer: I always get upset when I realise I don't own these characters, but while Lyatt owns me.
Sorry:
It had been almost three months since everything had gone to shit in the bunker. Rufus died, their future selves had shown up, they got Rufus back, and Emma had taken control of Rittenhouse along with Jessica Logan as her second in command. The two women had gone into hiding and hadn't jumped once. It may have been a lull, but everyone in the bunker knew it was only a matter of time until shit started to hit the fan once more.
Agent Christopher had finally been given permission to allow them topside, albeit into apartments secured by Homeland Security so that they could all make a start on rebuilding their lives. Rufus and Jiya had moved in together with his mother and brother, and were living life to the fullest. Losing one another the way they had made them realise how fragile their time together was, and were determined to make the most of it when they weren't at work.
Lucy had considered attempting to get her job back at Stanford, but decided against it knowing that eventually, she'd have to start missing days or longer once Emma and Jessica start back up on Rittenhouse's goal for… whatever they were aiming for. World domination seemed like such a cliche thing to say, but it amounted to pretty much the same thing in the end.
Her apartment was along the hall from Rufus and Joya's which she loved. They spent a lot of time together binge watching shows on Netflix and having movie marathons from their huge DVD collection.
Wyatt's apartment was directly opposite Rufus and Jiya's, but he kept to himself more often than not in the beginning. Guilt ate away at him for almost everything that had happened since he'd brought Jessica to the bunker. All he'd wanted was to be completely honest with her, and he'd managed to screw it up for everyone else, in particular with Lucy. It took him too long to admit his feelings to her, and never once expected anything back from her, but couldn't deny that it crushed him that she didn't.
After the visit from themselves from the future, he'd half hoped that things between them would improve; and while they did, it was slow progress. They spent time together, just the two of them, but it was purely platonic and made the start to repairing their friendship. Once they were topside, he started to train her in hand-to-hand combat in case she ever felt the need to face Emma once more. She was still clumsy as hell, but she was improving.
He felt uncomfortable around Jiya and Rufus after not saving his friend back in 1881. The tech had told him time and time again that he had no reason to feel guilty or to avoid him, but Wyatt did anyway. But slowly, the draw of their friendship and the lack of judgement from them had him joining them for movie and pizza nights.
:: ::
It was Jiya's birthday, and they all wanted to go out for a meal and some drinks, to be normal for a change, and they insisted Wyatt join them. He'd barely left the apartment complex since moving in, and wasn't sure if he felt he could go out and try to enjoy himself.
"Dude, you need to stop beating yourself up all the time. We've all moved on and you need to do the same. We'll deal with anything else that heads our way together as a team." Rufus cornered him in his kitchen after Wyatt had told him he wasn't sure if he could go out that evening.
"I can't seem to shake this constant feeling that everyone would be better off without me bringing the mood down."
"I swear to God that I will slap you silly Wyatt Logan. You do not bring the mood down when you spend time with us. You bring your own mood down. It's time to let go. Be with your friends and the woman you love. No one blames you for anything, they never did. Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?"
Rufus was starting to feel like a broken record. He'd said the same thing in so many different ways since he'd been brought back to the bunker and told he'd been dead for a couple of days, even though as he lived it, he hadn't. It was all very confusing, but he'd gotten over it and it was time Wyatt did the same.
"Rufu-"
"No. You are coming out to celebrate the love of my life's birthday, you will buy her a small gift, and you will enjoy yourself and get over this martyr act you got going on. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal."
"Right then. We meet up at seven. The rest of the day is yours." Rufus slapped Wyatt on the shoulder and left him to return to his own apartment without another word.
Wyatt couldn't help but smile at the way Rufus had taken charge. Ever since he'd been brought back, by two sets of Wyatts and Lucys - which had blown his mind - he'd been much more assertive. It was great to see his friend in his element.
As he stood in the kitchen, cradling a cup of coffee, something Rufus had said dawned on him. In a panic, he left his apartment and knocked on the door of Lucy's.
"I need your help." He spoke in a panic the moment she opened the door.
"What's wrong?" Her own voice was rising as she worried about him.
"I need to buy Jiya a birthday present."
Lucy stared at him for a couple of seconds before bursting in raucous laughter, something Wyatt hadn't heard much before they came topside.
"Jesus Wyatt, you scared the hell out of me." She gathered her purse and keys, then dragged him outside to her car. They were going shopping.
:: ::
It took them two hours, so they decided to stop off somewhere to grab a bite to eat. They found a diner on a side street that was busy enough for them to be able to hide in a booth at the back, but not so busy that they couldn't hear each other as they talked after ordering their food.
"It's been too long since we've been able to do this." Lucy spoke softly, but Wyatt heard every word. All he'd wanted, for so long, was to be able to complete mundane tasks by her side that didn't endanger them or history.
"I don't think we've ever done this Lucy, but it's nice. Who'd have thought that boring tasks such as laundry and shopping would be so satisfying?"
"Laundry is never satisfying Wyatt, even now we're out of the bunker." The pair of them laughed as their food was deposited in front of them.
Silence descended over them as they ate food that didn't come out of a can or the freezer in the bunker. Wyatt remembered thinking his taste buds had died during their time hiding away from Rittenhouse, the food was so bland.
"Why were you so hesitant to enjoy yourself when we were finally allowed out of the bunker?" It was a question Lucy had wanted to ask for a while, but was never sure how it would be received.
Wyatt stopped eating and looked at Lucy, took a deep breath and began to talk.
"Guilt."
Lucy opened her mouth to interrupt him, to tell him once again that he had nothing to feel guilty about.
"I know you think I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. I can't help that, but I am honestly working on it. Looking back over the past few months, I've been able to realise that I'm not completely at fault, even if it's hard to believe it sometimes."
Putting her knife down, Lucy took hold of Wyatt's hand, absently stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. It felt like it had been forever since they'd been comfortable around each other enough to touch this way.
"Wyatt. You need to let go. Of the guilt you feel for anything. We all made mistakes and the wrong choices back then, but you in particular need to let go and move forward."
"I'm trying to, I promise. It's both easier and harder than I thought it would be, but I promise I'm trying."
"That's all you can do Wyatt. Promise me one more thing though?"
Wyatt would have promised to bring her the moon if it meant they spent more time together beyond her training, and started working toward the relationship their future selves clearly had.
"Anything."
"Spend time with us. Enjoy your life, with us. Stop internalizing everything. If you won't talk to me, at least talk to Rufus." Her brown eyes locked onto his blue ones, silently begging him to make the promise.
"I promise… to try. That's the best I can do, okay?"
"That's all I ask. For your best."
They continued to eat in silence, sharing only smiles and eye contact.
It was during the walk back to the apartment complex that a thought occurred to Wyatt, something he needed to do and say. Grabbing hold of Lucy's hand, he pulled her to a stop and they both sat on a nearby bench.
"What's wrong?" Lucy sounded worried and her eyes echoed that.
"Before I'm ready to move forward the way you've asked me to, there's something I need to do, need to say. To you in particular."
He could feel his heart begin to race and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He knew he was freaking Lucy out, but he needed to do this. It was something he'd tried not to think about, but it was always there at the back of his mind, eating away at him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked. He looked up into her eyes, remembering how it felt to finally tell her he loved her. He still loved her, and because of those feelings, this was something he'd never found the right time to do.
For some reason, this was the right time. In the middle of a busy street, surrounded by people rushing about their business as Lucy and Wyatt sat on a hard bench.
"I have one more apology to make."
"What for?"
"Remember when Jessica stole the lifeboat, kidnapping Jiya." He winced at the mention of Jessica's name, but to her credit, Lucy showed no reaction. She was so much stronger than anyone gave credit.
"I remember."
"Something happened that day that I'm not proud of, and I need to make amends for it."
"Wyatt, you don-"
"I hit you Lucy. I didn't mean to, but I did. Hurting you is something I have done over and over, but that was the worst. I never got to apologize for it, and it's about damn time I did."
It took Lucy a moment to register what he was apologizing for. She smiled softly at him.
"Wyatt, that was a complete accident. I know you would never lay your hand on me in violence. You're a good man with a good heart." She took hold of his hands. "Yes, we've hurt each other, but we're past that; at least I hope we are. You never needed to apologize for a flying fist that was a complete accident."
Wyatt's red-rimmed blue eyes looked into her steady brown ones. There was no accusation in them. She believed in what she was saying.
"I just needed to say it, finally."
"Now you have, and we can move past it." She placed a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek before standing and pulling him to his feet. "We can get on with our lives and enjoy Jiya's party."
Smiling, Wyatt joined her on his feet.
"Yes ma'am."
