That Should Be Me
Tony bounces his legs nervously as his eyes sweep throughout the room looking for a familiar blonde hair blue eyed man. He runs his hands through his hair, trying to get rid of the rising anxiety. 'Calm down," he instructs himself placing his head in his heads. 'This is Steve, he'll understand. He has too…'
Seeing that sitting does nothing for him Tony makes use of his legs and walks off to get a beer and a water, knowing fully well Steve doesn't like to drink alcohol since it doesn't affect him. Unbeknownst to Tony when he walks up to the bar the person he's been waiting for the past 30 minutes has shown.
Steve looks around the bar, his smile widening when his eyes land on the back of Tony's head. He immediately knows that's his Tony. "Tony!" Steve calls waving a hand. Tony turns, drinks in head, and gives Steve a small smile nodding towards the booth he sat at.
Both boys mad either way towards the booth and took a seat. Steve gladly accepted the water Tony got him and they both sat in comfortable silence drinking away. Tony had asked Steve if they could meet up to talk, but he cant barely open his mouth to say anything when the blonde sat so close to him. Steve was curious to what Tony wanted to say, but didn't say anything watching as Tony's facial expressions changed every so often. He'd open his mouth only to shut right back not knowing how to phrase what he was going to say. 'I love Steve and I don't want to hurt him. But we cant stay like this, not when I have feelings for someone else.'
Steve, after drinking half of his water, placed it down and leaned back giving Tony his full attention. Seeing that Steve was staring at him only make Tony more nervous and he gulped, trying to hold his visibly shaking hands. Steve's eyes crease in worry and he leans forward, clasping Tony's hands in his own. "Tony, whatever you have to say, just say it. I can tell its bothering you, you can tell me anything you know."
"Steve I think we should see other people!" Tony blurts out suddenly, unable to hold back what he wanted to say.
Steve blinked… and blinked.
The look on Steve's face made Tony regret he'd ever said anything. Tony winced at the stiffness of Steve's body and the look of hurt on his face.
Tony wanted to look away, but couldn't. Not when he was trapped in the gaze of the one he loved… or use to love. Steve turns his attention on the floor, having a sudden interest in looking at the carpets design and takes his hand away from Tony's as if he couldn't stand touching him any longer. He keeps his head down, avoiding Tony's persistant stare that burned through his soul. He says nothing… he stays silent.
"Steve?" Tony asks worriedly he might have given Steve a heart attack. Steve still stays silent. "Look at me." He doesn't. "Please, look I'm sorry. It came out wrong, I wanted to break it to you gently, it's just… I didn't know how. I'm sorry, and if it's any constellation, this has nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. You were perfect as always and did nothing to deserve this. " Tony waits with deperate hope that Steve will finally look up at him. He reaches out to touch Steve's hands, but Steve hides his, now, shaking hands under the table. Out of Tony's reach. Tony starts to get aggravated that Steve wont say anything, although he cant really blame Steve's behavior. It's all his fault he's acting like this. "Steven Rogers look at me solider." He says finally resulting to do it. Tony knows Steve always listens people when they call him soldier, he's always been the one to not break the rules. Steve slowly, but hesitantly raises his head.
"…?" He say nothing, but raises an eyebrow above his watery moist eyes. Tony grips his hands tighter kissing their intertwined fists making Steve pull back his hand in disgust and pain.
Tony sighs sitting up straight and looking him in the eyes. "We need to see other people, this isn't working out." He says bluntly seeing that Steve wont take his comfort. Tony says nothing more just watches the many emotions that cross Steve's face.
… Steve doesn't reply for a long moment. They stare at each other until Steve realizes Tony isn't gonna continue. Not until he say something. When Steve replies, he feels distant. As if he wasn't the one speak and his voice surely didn't sound like it normally does. It was too thick, because of the tears, and soft compared to Steve's husky clear volume.
"What do you mean this isn't working out? I-I… What happened, I thought we loved each other."
"We do-"
"You told me you loved me Tony. Was that just an excuse to get in my pants?" Steve accuses glaring at him giving him an accusing look. Tony's eyes widen and he shakes his head no repeatedly.
"No! Why would you think that!?"
Steve doesn't reply, but his glare diminishes only to leave tears running down his face. "Tony… I-I… I love you! And I know you love me, if it's something I did, I'm sorry! Don't leave me. I can change. I can try to make this work, please just give us another chance! Don't forget about what we have."
"S-Steve… I'm sorry. It's not you-"
"Don't give me the 'it's not you, it's me' card Tony." Steve interrupts standing from his seat and glaring daggers at him. "I cant believe I wasted months with a guy who will never be able to committee to a relationship. I didn't ask you to marry me Tony or have children with me, I only wanted a steady relationship. Hell, you were my first!" Steve drops his voice "I lost my virginity with you and this is what you do to me."
"Steve I-"
"Whatever Tony," and Steve turns his back storming over to the door.
"Steve wait!" But it's too late, the door of the bar slams shut and Tony is left alone again with an ache in his heart that will probably never go away, not as long as he remembers that he caused Steve this pain.
AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA
(A Week Later…)
His breath hitches in his throat and he chokes back a sob when he sees Tony walk into Stark tower with another man on his arm. Natasha notices his reaction, her head snapping to where Steve is looking. Instantly she rolls her eyes and stands Steve up heading towards the hallway with him. "Idiot" she mutters.
The two don't get far before Tony's voice calls their attention. "Hey guys, come back. I have to tell you something." Steve doesn't turn around already feeling tears sting in his eyes. He wont show Tony how much he's hurting him. He doesn't want anything to do with Tony Stark anymore.
Natasha turns, keeping a hand on Steve's shoulder. "We're not interested Stark."
"Stark? Are we seriously back on last name basis?"
"After what you did, yes. Yes we are. Come on guys." Steve feels gratitude towards his team when he looks over his shoulder finding everyone standing up and walking towards the two. He closes his eyes and a smile grows on his face. Only to have it rip off his face when Tony addresses him.
"You guys cant still be mad at me. Steve isn't, right Steve?" Isnt of turning around to glare at the man behind him, he stares at a point across the hallway ignoring him. 'He just broke up with me A WEEK AGO! Of course I'm still gonna be angry at him. He broke my heart and then immediately go back to dating another guy. It's like he can just throw me away and act like nothing ever happened.' He feels Natasha push him towards the hallway and Thor throws an arm around his shoulder.
"Let's go Steven." Everyone starts walking away from Tony and his 'friend' leaving him dumbfounded. The new guy turns to Tony when everyone is gone. "I thought you said they were okay, that Steve was fine."
"He is!"
"Doesn't look like it Tony. I shouldn't be here, I know when I'm not wanted and you should go talk to him." Tony shakes his head laughing and waving off his suggestion.
"Steve will be alright."
"Doesn't look like it Tony."
AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV
(A Year Later; Steve's P.O.V…)
It's been a year, a year since we've broken up. A year since Tony got together with his new boyfriend acting as if us never happened. I've learned to move on and cope with the idea that Tony… doesn't love me anymore and found someone else. I try so hard not to cry at night when I think of us, when I think of the night we spent together. The many kisses, touches, and words we shared. It hurts too much to think about us and I try not to, but Tony makes it difficult when he's in the tower all the time with his boyfriend attached to his hip. At least when we were together I gave Tony his space, this guy acts like he owns Tony.
I draw my knees up to my chest and lean my chin onto them sighing sadly. The door opens and I don't turn to acknowledge whoever came to coax me inside. I just say bluntly, "If you're here to convince me to go inside, save your breath. I don't want to be in the same room as them when they're making out with each other."
"Actually, I came out here to see if your alright. After what Tony just did a couple minutes ago." Steve turns at the sound of Natasha's voice. He was expecting one of the guys, not Natasha. He stands when she walks closer her arms over her chest.
"Natasha, I'm sorry ma'am, I thought you were Clint or Bruce." She nods and sits down on the bench Steve was occupying earlier. Steve never disrespected women, especially Natasha. "That was inexcusable of me anyway. Please forgive my behavior." He apologizes earning a smile from Natasha.
"At ease soldier." She told him patting the space next to her. Steve takes a seat letting out a long sigh. "I was expecting this kind of behavior after what you just saw and experienced." Steve turned his head immediately feeling water beneath his eyes. No, he was not going to cry in front of a woman. He was not going to admit to weakness in front of a dame. Especially a dame like Natasha Romanoff who laughs at the sight of danger. Who craves to beat the hell out of someone who deserves it and who isn't afraid to speak her mind.
Steve clears his throat hoping his voice wouldn't give him away. He shakes his head. "I'm fine. Just clearing my head that's all." Natasha nods and doesn't say anything for a while. They both sit in comfortable silence, Natasha leans back into the couch and lets her head fall back. It doesn't take long for Steve to look back at the woman beside him. He really wants to be alone, but cant find the gut and words to tell Natasha that. He doesn't want to be rude or offend her in anyway so he keeps silent, silently hoping she'll go away on her own. She doesn't…
But she does continue to speak after a couple of minutes. "Tony wants to know if you'd consider being his best man at the wedding." That did it. Steve couldn't help it the tears started falling down his cheeks and he tries to stop them, but they just keep coming. Natasha, seeing her leader cry, reacts instantly. She straights and puts an arm around the super soldier rubbing comforting circles into his back. "Cap it's okay. You never had to hide your pain, from any of us. We all know how you feel and we understand that you still have feelings for Tony. Even if the little shit doesn't love you back, you genuinely love him. And it was cruel of him to ask Rhodey to marry him in front of him. He knew he was doing it too, he was just being a bastard as usual." Steve sobs harder and places his head into his hands, his shoulders shaking with his sobs. Natasha continues to try to calm her leader, but doesn't offer anymore comforting words only letting Steve cry himself out.
It takes a while, a lot of crying, a lot of soothing touching from Natasha, but eventually Steve stops crying. Tears slides down his red face, but nothing more. Natasha stands up bring the soldier with her and enfold him in an embrace she wouldn't give to anyone else. Steve wraps his arms around Natasha's waist holding her to his chest as he buries his face in the crook of her shoulder. She lets Steve hold her as tightly as he needs to, and feels a couple tear drops on her shirt, but doesn't comment. Only lets it be…
Soon, out of nowhere, it starts to rain on the two, but they don't acknowledge it. It's beyond their worries of getting wet. When Steve pulls back he's fully cried out wiping up the water that remains on his cheeks not knowing if they are tears, but rain falling onto his face. Steve looks down at Natasha muttering a 'sorry' and dropping his head in shame.
"Steve you don't have to be sorry. Come on, it's been a long day. You need some rest." He nods silently and follows Natasha inside the warmth of the fireplace hitting him.
"Hey red, Hey… Steve." Tony greets looking up from the T.V. He seems to be the only one in the room. Steve nods his head in greeting and Natasha sighs a 'Hey.' Natasha didn't realize how cold she was until she sighed in relief at the warmth of the fire. She shrugs her jacket off and takes Steve's from him before tossing it in the coat closet. "Raining outside? You guys are soaked."
"Nah, Steve and I just decided to wet ourselves with the sprinkler." Natasha replies sarcastically, making Tony snort, glancing around the empty room as if noticing for the first time Tony was the only one here besides her and Steve. "Where are the others?"
"Bruce is in the lab, Thor went to visit Jane, Clint is in his room and Rhodey went home." Steve immediately turns and starts to walk down the hallway. "Steve wait! Can we talk, I want to ask you something!"
"Natasha already told me, and… I don't know." Steve replies hitting the button the elevator impatiently waiting for it come down. Tony stands from his spot and starts to walk towards Steve, but Natasha stops him shaking her head no and following after the soldier. When Natasha arrives the elevator door opens and they both step inside, Steve relaxing when the door closes. He runs a hand through his hair and presses the button to his floor.
The elevator dings and Steve steps out looking back at Natasha. "Thanks 'Tasha." Steve whispers holding the elevator door open so he can speak with her before she goes.
"So what are you going to do now?" Natasha asks already seeing the soldier thinking. Steve shrugs and sighs sadly.
"I don't know, but… I hope my old apartment is still available." Natasha sighs and steps forward crossing her arms.
"Steve you cant let him get to you. Just ignore-"
"I cant ignore him Natasha. He's everywhere. I live in his tower and pretty soon so will Rhodey. I can handle living with someone I love who doesn't love me back. But I cant live in the same building as my lover's fiancé and soon to be husband. It's just to painful and a reminder I can never have him. I'm leaving Natasha."
There a long pause as she takes in what Steve said, but finally she gives a nod. "When?" She asks looking up at him.
"Tonight." A disapproving sigh passes through Natasha's lips, but no argument comes forth. She merely nods crossing her arms over her chest.
"You need help?" Steve shakes his head and Natasha steps forward with a small smile. "Will you come back tomorrow morning for breakfast?" Steve can sense the hopeful tone in her voice, but shrugs sighing.
"I don't know. There are a lot of things I have to think about at the moment. But the first thing on my mind is going to get my apartment back… goodnight Natasha." Steve turns to leave, but Natasha places a hand on his shoulder stopping him.
"Steve wait… don't do anything reckless. Please. We cant lose our leader and I cant lose another friend." Natasha gives Steve a knowing look and immediately Steve's mind goes to Coulson. Steve nods giving her a weak smile. "Never 'Tasha."
"At least let me drive you back to your apartment." Steve bites his bottom lip wanting to say no, but cant finding the will to do so. Natasha was just trying to be a good friend and Steve is grateful for it, however he just wanted to be alone at the moment. Finding some courage Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Natasha shakes her head pushing Steve away from the elevators. "Text me when your ready." And the doors close.
Sighing in defeat a small smile crosses his lips as he makes his way to his bedroom. Walking inside he heads straight to his closet and pulls out a suitcase and a backpack. 'I'll come back for the rest of my stuff later.' Steve makes a mental note to himself once placing the bags onto his bed.
Packing only took a couple minutes, Steve's eyes glancing to the picture on his dresser four times throughout his packing. A picture of Tony and Steve on one of their many dates. Tony took Steve to a bar, which Steve didn't like at first, but ended up having a good time near the end. It was a really memorable night making Steve sigh in depression. He sits down on the bed putting his head in his hands rocking back and forth trying to clear his mind. Even resulting to rubbing his temple to attempt to level out his oncoming migraine.
A tear falls out of his eyes before he picks up his head and tries to wipe away all the wetness in his eyes. "No… I done. I'm done crying for Tony. It's over and we're never going back to what we had. Never again am I going to cry tears for Tony Stark." Steve stands, slings the pack over his shoulder grasping his suitcase handle. His hand hesitates on the door handle, his eyes glancing back to something under his bed. He debates on whether grabbing it, bitting his lip raw in the process.
Sighing in defeat he drops the pack and rushes to the bed. Bending down he feels around until he hits the one thing he was looking for. Looking around he quickly pulls out a lock safe placing it on his bed and producing a key from his pocket. Taking it out he unlocks the safe and rummages through the contents inside. He hands home in on a crinkled piece of paper. Pulling it out, Steve opens it, nods then folds it back up while closing his safe again. He pockets his key puts the safe under his bed and walks back to the door, the folded up paper in his hand.
He leaves his room after texting a quick message from Natasha and heads towards the elevator, stuff in hand. When entering the elevator, he reaches out to the buttons finger already positioned to press the level to the penthouse where he'd meet Natasha. But without his fingers touching a button, the light on the number 25 lights up.
His eyes widen and he gasps dropping his stuff. The 25th level is… "Tony's level!" Steve gasps dropping the backpack from his shoulder. 'What!? NO!' "JARVIS don't go to level-"
The door opens stopping Steve short when he sees a door close from down the hall. "Sorry Mr. Rogers, but Agent Romanoff has instructed that I don't allow to leave until you have spoken with sir." Steve frowns letting out an irritated sigh. 'Of course she would. I knew I was getting away too easy. She would've at least threatened me or haven given me a guilt trip.' Steve, instead of moving forward, moves backwards refusing to move. "Mr. Rogers your keeping Agent Barton and Mr. Odinson waiting. Steve wrinkles his nose sticking out his lip to pout as he steps out of the elevator, unwillingly. The doors close behind him and he grumbles under his breath pressing the button again, already knowing that it may not come up.
The floor was awfully quiet and Steve grew weary and tense afraid Tony will see him. 'Why did she have to do this? I have nothing to say to him.' "Steve is that you?" Tony's voice slurs, drunks as usual. Steve curses under his breath and pulls out his phone going into the cloest room near him. Tony was drunk he wouldn't notice that he disappeared, he'd probably think that he was imagining things.
Dialing a number he presses the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
"Natasha why are you doing this? I told you I don't want to talk to him and I just want to leave. I have nothing to say to him anyway."
Natasha sighs and Steve can sense the irritation and commanding tone in her voice when she speaks. "Look, your not leaving this tower until you speak with Tony. I don't care what, but talk to him. You cant keep this all in Steve, your going to explode one day. Just talk to him and until so we wont leave-"
"You do realize I can just walk down the stairs and into the garage myself." Steve asks raising an eyebrow a scowl on his face.
"Yeah, that's why I told JARVIS to put on a lock on all the stair doors. Also including bolting the garage door shut." Steve frowns taking a deep calming breath and running a hand over his face. 'Why is she doing this?!' He asks himself irritated he just wanted to leave. He sits down in the chair near him placing his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, one still holding the phone. "Steve? You still there?" Natasha's voice echoes throughout the quiet room, Steve not answering. "Steve?" Natasha urges becoming aggravated. "Just talk to him!" she screams ending the phone. Steve drops the phone onto the floor and stays in his position seeing no reason as to why he should move. He can hear shuffling down the hall, then all noise stops. Steve glances towards the door rubbing his temple trying to calm himself.
He taps his foot against the floor, his hands messing with the hem of his shirt. He sighs looking over to the window, biting his bottom lip hard as he tries to think about how he'll go up to Tony and tell him that he wont be living in the tower anymore. Steve didn't want to hurt Tony, no matter how much Tony had hurt him, he would never do the same to Tony.
Tony may have been an ignorant, no good, lying, genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist. But Tony was his ignorant, no good, lying, genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist. Steve hears a crash from doors away making him jump from his seat. He rushes out the door and into the living room to find his ex-boyfriend passed out on top of the broken glass coffee table, a couple broken beer bottle surrounding him. Steve sighs in relief when he hears Tony snore, and walks over beside him. Bending down he shakes Tony gently, already knowing that it's useless. Steve smirks and scoops Tony up in his arms heading towards his bedroom. "Déjà vu, huh Tony?" Steve opens the door when he shifts Tony's body towards his other arm and continues to carry him until he reaches the bed. Placing him down under the covers, Steve cant help, but touch Tony's face. His soft, tan skin and brush his fingers against Tony's mustache and that he needed to shave because it was beginning to grow very long. Steve smile falters when Tony grabs his hand from his face and cuddles with it making Steve sit on the side of his bed. No… this was wrong. This felt really wrong to Steve. Tony was engaged and Steve was his ex. He shouldn't even be in his room at the moment, but he doesn't have the energy or will to move. It's like there something keeping him here and he knows what it is… Tony. Steve sighs sadly pulling his hand away. "Why did I have to fall for you Tony?"
Tony, blindly, reaches out to grab Steve's hand again, but Steve puts a pillow in between his hands and Tony just cuddles it without realizing it's not what he's looking for. Steve smiles and leans down to brush his lips gently against Tony's forehead. He stands and stares down at the beautiful man before him and he feels a tear run down his face.
"Everybody's laughing in my mind." Steve begins softly, his voice cracking slightly as he warms his voice up. Looking up towards the window Steve starts to walk towards it slowly afraid he'll wake Tony. "Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy. Do you do what you did when you did with me? Does he love you the way I can?" Steve looks back at Tony, more tears coming into his eyes, but none escaping as Steve fights them back. He lowers his voice as he sings… "Did you forget all the plans that you made with me? 'cause baby I didn't." He clears his voice and sings louder, but not loud enough to wake Tony. Just enough so he can hear himself.
"That should be me, holdin' your hand. That should be me, makin' you laugh. That should be me. This is so sad. That should be me. That should be me" Images flash through his mind, his head spinning in circles and he sits in the chair near Tony's bedside. His hands running over his eyes trying to remove the moistness. Good memories. Every kiss Tony gave him, every touch, every word… it all came back to him, flinging them at him before he can lock them away like he had. Before he can forget them and try to pretend like it was all okay when he was actually hurting inside. Even some memories that weren't his to keep and that burned his heart into pieces when he sees Tony with Rhodey. Either out in the city, partying or just staying in the tower touching and kissing as if people weren't in the room. He couldn't hold it… more tears fall.
"That should be me, feelin' your kiss. That should be me, buyin' you gift. This is so wrong, I can't go on, Till you believe that…That should be me"
Steve starts to stand to walk out of the room, but he's blinded by the biggest memory of all. It was before Tony and Steve started dating, but it was something Steve was never going to forget. That night… that one special night. He knew that it was buried in his deep subconscious and that it was never going to go away… it was the best night of his life. Not counting the night when he and Tony had the most intense, pleasurable, memorable He bites his wobbling lip, and grasps his shaking hands together firmly placing them against his forehead breathing deeply. This memory opened the biggest wound of all…
It was raining hard and Steve couldn't see anything. He cursed himself out for trying to fix his broken down car in the pouring rain. He had electrocuted himself, but he was fine. His hand was bleeding like there was no tomorrow, but lack of blood wasn't going to kill him. He needed to get back to the tower so he can have Bruce take a look at it… if only he knew where the tower was.
He couldn't see a damn thing and the rain was starting to irritate the hell out of him. "Yo Steve!" Steve turns, but is immediately blinded by flashing lights and he turns back around trying to clear his vision. Rubbing his eyes he didn't hear the roaring engine beside him going at the same pace he was. After being able to see properly he turned his head to met the brown beautiful eyes of Tony Stark.
His heart skipped a beat just looking into the eyes of the man he secretly loved, but would never have the guts to tell him to his face. A smile breaks out on his face immediately, making him look like a wet fool running around in the rain.
"You having fun out there Steve?" Tony asks a sarcastic smirk playing on his face that Steve loved to see. Steve laughs nervously and looks down at himself feeling self conscious that he's in wet clothes in the rain while Tony sits in the fancy car, heat on and clothes dry. Steve shrugs and crosses his arms around his body when a chill runs up his body. He tries to play it off as a couch, but Tony sees past it rolling his eyes. "Get your ass in the damn car Steve." Tony unlocks the doors and Steve hesitates before finally opening the door and quickly getting inside, his body visibly relaxing against the warmth. Tony smiles and bumps up the heat as he starts driving again. Steve rubs his hands together and puts his head on his head rest allowing his eyes to close. He never realized how exhausting it was to walk against weather that keep pushing at you and getting electrocuted was. There was always a first for everything…
Steve hadn't realized it, but Tony was stealing glance at him while driving. His eyes closed allowed Tony the time to look over Steve, see if he was okay and… okay let's face it, he cant help his eyes from wandering over Steve's attractive, fit, uninjured body…- actually… "Steve what the hell happened to your hand!?" Tony screams in surprise his hand automatically reaching over and grabbing Steve's wrist being cautious of his bleeding hand.
Steve jumps at Tony's voice and looks down when he feels Tony's hand grabs his. He blushes, but quickly composes himself to answer, kicking himself when he stutters and his voice cracks. "N-Nothing… I was um… j-just trying to- to- to fix my car and I got…" Steve whispers the last part looking away from Tony's stare. "um… Electrocuted."
Tony rolls his eyes. "Steve you damn bastard, you could've hurt yourself or killed yourself. Come on, we're going to the hospital." Tony turns the car around and speeds down the street, Steve trying to reason with him.
"Tony it's alright. It doesn't hurt, I was just going to go to Bruce. Or Clint or Natasha. Someone with first aid assistance."
"This is something that isn't first aid Steve, you're going to the hospital." Steve sighs and leans his back knowing never to argue with a determined Tony Stark. He'll just do this to make him happy…
"See Tony, nothing to worry about. SHIELD's finest doctors could do anything to it except clean it up and bandage it. Something the others could've done!" Steve says smugly as Tony drives back to Stark tower, his panic attack ended when the doctor told him Steve was alright. He grumbles under his breath and steeds up to competing with the guy beside him. Steve smiles and turns to look out the window feeling a little suffocated at the heat in the car now. He sighs and nods "Okay, I think I'm warmed up now."
Both Steve and Tony reach out to turn off the heater, but their hands touch making Steve look at Tony who seems to be avoiding his eyes, his locked on their hands inches from each other. "Sorry," he mutters obviously embarrassed and his cheeks growing hot. He looks up at Steve longingly cant seeming to take his eyes off of him and his hands twitch wanting to grab Steve's hands.
Oblivious to Tony's longing stare, Steve looks down at his lap playing with his fingers. He freezes when he feels a hand brush his hair from his forehead only to relax he recognizes the touch. Tony. He looks over at him and gives him a small, a blush growing up from his neck to his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip and gives Tony a smile placing a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks for taking me to the hospital, even though it was completely unnecessary. It means a lot that you care."
"Of course I care Cap, your my leader and friend. I'll always care." Tony brushes more damp hair from Steve's forehead his hand lingering on Steve's cheek longer than usual. "Your eyes are really beautiful Steve…" Steve looks up at Tony after hearing his soft whisper blushing again.
"Thanks… so are y-yours. Um.." Tony smiles and Steve hasn't realized it, but they were at their destination. The garage of Stark Tower, now currently known as Avenger Tower. Tony turns off the car and turns to Steve, eyebrow raised in question. The mocking smile on his face makes Steve start stuttering. "Um.. n-nevermind, I uh- I'm… I'm just go-ing to go.." He points towards the door and sighs. "Yeah." Opening the door he's about to step out when Tony grabs his arm. Steve his turns his head and is immediately shocked by the amount of space between them. There is hardly to little no space between them. Tony's face was close to Steve, very close that he can feel Tony's breath on his face which completely melts him. He closes his eyes and he gasps in surprise when he feels lips press against his…
AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA
More tears unwillingly run down his face and he takes a deep breath to keep from having a break down… that night. He'll never forget that night. A week after, Steve finally asked Tony out on a date which he said yes and they began dating. But it was always that night that started their entire relationship and how can Steve forget it. He remembered everything… what he wore, what Tony wore, what date it was, what time it was and how Tony looked when he panicked about his hand. "You said you needed a little time for my mistakes. It's funny how you use that time to have me replaced." Steve shakes his head not bothering to show his disgust and jealousy at Rhodey and Tony's relationship. He narrows his eyes at Tony and runs a hand over his face. "But did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies, what you doin' to me. You're takin' him where we used to go" Steve walks over to Tony in three quick steps towering over him and lowering his voice. His tears slip and lands on Tony's ACDC shirt as he sings… "Now if you're tryin' to break my heart it's working 'cause you know that…
That should be me holdin' your hand. That should be me, makin' you laugh.
That should be me, this is so sad. That should be me, that should be me. That should be me feeling your kiss. That should be me buying you guys. This is so wrong, I cant go on, Til you believe… that that should be me."
Steve backs up until his back hits the wall and he stays there staring past his lover, avoiding to see the peaceful expression on his face as he stands there crying over someone he cant have. Steve shakes his head and wipes his tears standing up straighter and finding no reason for him to cry over Tony. He hates crying for a guy or girl, especially if it's Tony Stark.
"I need to know, should I fight for love or disarm. It's getting harder to shield… this pain in my heart!"
That should be me, holding your hand. That should be me, making you laugh. That should be me, this is so sad. That should be me, that should be me."
"That should be me, feeling your kiss. That should be me, buying you gifts. This is so wrong, I cant go on, til you believe… that, that should be me. That should be me holding your hand. That should be me, the one making you laugh. That should be me giving you flowers, that should be me talking for hours. That should be me." His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out. He notices instantly that he has a message from Natasha.
"Have you talked to him?" Steve turns to look at Tony, giving a shy smile and nodding replying back a swift,
"Yes." Steve pulls out the previous note, from which he took from his safe, and turns it over in his hands debating if he should give it to him. After much thinking, Steve crosses the room, places the note on Tony's desk, and places a kiss on his forehead. He walks to the door and opens it, but hesitates in the doorway. Glancing back at his lover one last time Steve sings softly, his voice barely audible. "That should be me, never should've let you go. I never should've let you go, that should be me. Never should've let you go. That should be me, never should've let you go. I never should've let you go…"
"… That should be me." Steve whispers before closing the door fully behind him.
AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV
"Dear Tony,
I don't understand why I'm writing this if you're never going to see this, but I just had to write out my feelings or I'd go insane… Even if you may not feel the same for me, I'll always feel the same for you.
Ever since day 1, I've loved you. You could call it love at first sight or whatever and make fun of me, but I know what I feel. Even though you hurt me badly a year ago, I can never get over my feelings for you. I love you Tony Stark and you are the most amazing person I've ever met. Your extremely intelligent, humorous, and every man and girl's dream guy. You were my dream guy and I never regretted dating you. Even if it meant getting my heart broken in the end, I'll never regret spending my last dating moments with you. You knew how to make me laugh, smile or cheer me up on a bad day and… I wish you and Rhodey a good life together.
As much as it pains me to say it, I really hope Rhodey gives you the love you deserve, and the love I could never give. You're a special one Tony and Rhodey has to treat you like a prince like I would've. That should've been me, but it's not so… I hope you two have a happy life together. I'll always love you Tony Stark, and you'll always have a place in my heart. Never forget that.
Steve
(That should be me…)
"Shit…" Tony drops the letter letting it land on the bed as he plops back down onto his bed. Letting out a sigh Tony looks over at his dresser. Sitting up, he opens the top draw and his eyes home in on a picture. An abandoned pictured that laid at the top of all his forgotten stuff. Of course, after placing this picture in here, they've never really been forgotten.
Pulling it out, Tony flips it over and cant stop the wetness that comes into his eyes immediately. Steve… "Oh My Gosh… what have I done?"