Title: Uneasy Dreams
Inspiration: 1. Wanted to write a not very sexy dream sequence 2. Needed to write something that could both help me cope with [while still being violently in denial of] Neji's death and this is what happened.
Summary: This person was not not shadowed, he was sallow and the pigment of his skin and hair looked wrong. The body heaved and choked and he could feel splatters of something warm and wet seep into his back.
Disclaimer: You ain't got no legs Lieutenant Dan
Warnings: Copious amounts of fluff, dreams, Naruto laughing, Naruto crying, confused Neji and almost butt touching
The world was dark, overcast and shadowed , very different from the blue it is seen regularly. The sky was gray, angry, and the clouds rolled about in waves, as if some great demon was running around the heavens, threatening to burst through. The thunder was the great growl of frustration coming from the beast, it grumbled across the sky.
Something was in his arms, breathing, warm, but just barely. It was as if the very air pulled the life from their body, leaving them cold and stiff, working from their limbs and drawing the heat out of every breath.
It was not raining, the clouds were dark and heavy as though they threatened to burst, but he did not think they would. But he wished they did. He wished it was rain that ran in streaks along his cheeks.
The shadows about him moved around like ghosts under water, fluid and oily, yet their shapes were indistinguishable, he could not identify one person from another, if in fact they were people. The air around him muffled the noises they made , as if he plugged his ears with moss. But he could hear the sound of their voices; they sounded like laughter. He could hear screaming, somewhere in the distance. Others did nothing but stare, faceless, ghostly apparitions swaying slightly, blurred and muffled. It was strange that they were shadowed, the light above, the thunderous clouds, with its hidden lightning illuminating the bleak, gray world below.
The body in his arms began speaking, he could not hear it, but he could feel the vibrations of sound shaking the rigid form. Long, dark hair spilled over his shoulder, he had not noticed this before but knew immediately who it was and after his breath hitched, he could feel a painful vise like grip on his chest. On his heart.
He wanted to speak, to say something but he could not, his lips would not move; refused to form words. All he could do was watch in horror, the tears in his eyes doing little to obstruct his vision of the man in his arms.
This person was not shadowed, he was sallow and the pigment of his skin and hair looked wrong and Naruto squeezed his arms around him. The body heaved and choked and he could feel splatters of something wet seep into his back.
His mouth finally broke free of his enchantment and he felt his lips move in slow motion, he does not know the words he spoke, can not remember even as they fall one by one out of his lips. It is muffled, almost silent, like the soft steps of an insect scurrying across the floor. The other is speaking but it is inaudible as well, as if he were underwater trying to listen.
The distorted words stopped and he felt the body heave again, there was so much blood. He did not know how he knew, but he did, the stain of the liquid was dark, almost black and it seeped into everything; his clothes, his hair, his skin, the gray, shifting rubble beneath them.
Suddenly the body he held shifted slowly, he thought to them not to move, but his mouth moved too slow to stop them. Even then, he was shaking, afraid, and the tears wouldn't stop flowing from his eyes. The form leaned back and he was able to see their face, it was covered in dirt and blood. The blood, he noticed, suddenly brightened and turned a striking shade of crimson, it dripped from Neji's mouth like a cruel waterfall.
Naruto looked into his eyes, they were pure and clear and tired.
His mouth moved but there were no words.
Everything was silent, no rolling thunder, no muffled laughter.
Confused, Naruto looked around at the silhouettes that surrounded them. They moved like apparitions, so subtly, so softly.
Eyes darting back to Neji in a time frame that seemed like forever, he paned back to the Hyuga's face and noticed it was the same. It took him forever to blink as his bloody lips lifted into a soft smile. But as his lids closed, his opalescent eyes did not re-open.
Then suddenly everything was so still, as if in a picture and Naruto's heart broke.
He jerked awake in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, sitting up and pushing the wetness away from his eyes but the tears still fell despite his efforts. It hadn't left him yet, he was still there, in that dream, holding Neji's cold, rigid body, the warm feeling of his blood still fresh on his skin, leaving goosebumps all over. Jumping out of bed, the blond grabbed a jacket to pull over his sleeping shirt, tugged on his shoes and raced out of his front door, barely remembering to close and lock it.
It was late, the moon was a shining crescent in the lower sky and Naruto could already feel the morning dew drifting in the air, dampening his skin.
Arriving at the traditional manor, Naruto lept over the high-rise concrete gate and landed in a rock garden, disturbing the carefully raked sand and sending one of the aesthetically placed boulders askew. With determination, he walked up to the porch and tapped lightly on the Shoji door. He waited, foot tapping and hands buried in his pockets to hide from the cold night. Looking around, Naruto hoped none of the servants from the main branch decided to show up and investigate any of the conspicuous sounds he made.
Moments later the door slid open with a soft wooden sound and Naruto found tired, opal eyes staring up at him in annoyance. Without preamble, or any real judgement on his part, he grabbed the face of the one before him and placed his lips on Neji's. It was firm yet gentle and the brunette made a sound of surprise, flailing only a little before he allowed the blond to kiss him, gripping at his biceps and bunching the cloth of Naruto's jacket.
Their lips were pressed together for moments uncounted and when Naruto finally pulled away and opened his eyes slowly, not remembering when he had closed them in the first place, Neji was flushed. He wanted to ask what had gotten into the Uzumaki, why he felt it was pertinent to come to his home before dawn and wake him with unsolicited kisses. He wanted to ask that but one look into the blonds blue eyes, he relented and instead lifted a bandaged hand to wipe away the wetness of tears that still clung to Naruto's whiskered cheeks.
The Uzumaki looked a bit sheepish, clearly without a plan or steps to take beyond this, he released Neji's face.
"While I won't kick you out on account of a random and highly unexpected kiss," Neji started softly, looking up at Naruto. "I do require an explanation.
The sheepish look was back and Naruto scratched the back of his head.
Neji gave consent for the male to enter his quarters by way of grabbing his arm at the wrist and leading him inside, after a quick peek to see if any of the patrolling ninja had spotted them.
The rooms decorations were sparse, a few hanging scrolls, a dresser covered in more scrolls, a small desk littered with calligraphy tools and a futon covered in rumpled bedding. Neji kneeled there and played with the hem of his sleeping yukata. Naruto sat just in front of him and sighed.
"It was... a dream... a bad dream. A nightmare." He looked over at Neji who seemed to be waiting for more. "About the war," Naruto continued slowly, carefully. "... when you... when you... "
Understanding shone in the Hyuga's pale eyes and he looked at the floor, embarrassed, though he couldn't say why. "This... nightmare... do you have it often?"
The blond shook his head. "This was the first time. It was so vivid...strange."
"Strange?" The Hyuga seemed curious but wary.
Naruto took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "You were there, in my arms, dying. I could feel it, the life slipping away from you. Like the heat seeping out of my apartment as it starts to snow." He attempted a laugh but the expression he wore made it seem forced.
Neji understood it to be a coping tactic, one he didn't agree with but only let the small crinkling of his eyebrows display his displeasure. Naruto still had the weird forced smile when he continued.
"I tried to hold on, you know, use my chakra to warm you but it was like I was a statue... I couldn't..." His voice cracked a bit but he was quick to clear it. "Then... you were gone. I... uh... watched you slowly... so freaking slowly, close your eyes." He looked out into the other side of the room at nothing particular, Neji thought, his eyes shimmering in the dim light.
Naruto's voice was strong but low, like all of the excitement he harbored as a child vanished suddenly. "Your eyes... they didn't open, I thought that they would 'cause you didn't even look peaceful... as if you were falling and went right before you hit the ground."
Naruto had been flexing his hands as he spoke and Neji watched the movement, it was careful and nervous.
"But I didn't die, Naruto. I'm right here." Neji placed a hand to his heart and Naruto gave him a beautiful withered smile.
"You don't have to tell me that." He chuckled hollowly again and Neji frowned. "I thought you did though, Hinata as well. Everybody... we were in the middle of a war. No matter how much I wanted to stop and make sure, there was no time. I hate that... no time." He said in an angry aside, almost to himself and Neji watched him cautiously.
"We were kids," He continued, out loud for Neji to hear but still to himself somehow. "And you just sacrificed yourself so we might still have the chance. Like a brat, I was stubborn, I called out for you... tried to," he made non-committal and withering gestures with his hands and shoulders. "Save you. But this wasn't like the time with Gaara. I wasn't so lucky... and, like a child, I couldn't..."
His voice cracked again as he trailed off, hands wiping quickly at his cheeks, and Neji shivered at the emotion there. He had no idea Naruto felt this way about him and told him as much. The blond laughed, a mere shadow to his usual one but he tried in ernest this time. "I could be all bashful and tell you that's not the case here but I'd be a pretty bad liar at this point. Or I could say I'd have done the same for any of my other friends but that wouldn't be completely true."
Neji considered what would happen had any more of the blonds comrades fallen in battle, but his mind did not wander too far on that thought. It was all well and good because Naruto decided to continue speaking a moment later.
"Sure I'd be upset but... the idea of not having you around, not being able to see you, talk to you, even if it was just to annoy you or make you look at me like I was a moron... that's what had me running over here." He looked at Neji and his eyes were so intense, like two whirlpools that sucked the Hyuga into some deep and pitless void. "I could compare it to... well, you know who, but it doesn't hurt the same way. That dream brought me back to that day... the feeling of loss slammed against me like a punch in the face. I couldn't breathe and I thought nothing should feel like this!" Naruto watched Neji's pale face shift in the dim light, it was very faint, but he was willing to bet that the older male was blushing. "I kissed you to take away that feeling, I guess, to bring back what I had lost. I didn't know it was what I had wanted but when I saw you standing there, somehow I knew it was the best thing to do."
Neji fidgeted more. He did not know how to respond to the blonds words, such intimacy was lost on him and he felt awkward because of it. Not because he did not feel the same but because unlike Naruto, the words could not fall so freely from his lips. He did not know where to begin searching for them.
The war was years ago, the village was healing, his wounds had healed, but the man in front of him, the one who had been in the center of the turbulence could not. The post-traumatic scare still pained the blond and Neji understood completely, many people were lost, secrets brought to light and a budding rivalry turned companionship was ended. Neji was not there for most but he had heard in the aftermath weeks later what the turnout had been.
Naruto was strong, too strong, because he had to be and everything depended on him but he was shouldering this on his own, despite the support he received from all around him. And the idea that he still had a moment of time to think about him in the midst of all that was happening was deeply humbling for Neji.
Here was Naruto, hokage in training, sitting honestly and openly before him and all he could do was stare and weep. Neji did not know from wince the tears came from, or when they started but he could feel the tiny itch of the liquid as it traveled down his cheeks. He did not wipe them away, least he be forced to move and bring attention to the fact that he was crying, and sitting there in front of the Uzumaki while he said so much was embarrassing enough. Though he need not have bothered, Naruto shifted forward, his face close, and Neji felt his hands reach up and cup his face like before, thumbs sliding over his cheeks to wipe away the tears.
Neji averted his eyes coyly, hyper aware of the blonds proximity, of how their knees touched in the darkness. How he could feel Naruto's breath condense on his lips. He seemed hesitant and the man's blue eyes were dark, unreadable in the dim light. "You can tell me to stop." Neji heard the faint whisper and found himself shaking his head. Then a pair of warm, wet lips pressed against his.
Naruto tasted sweet, kind of like adzuki beans. Though Neji rarely ate sweets, he found himself indulging in the flavor, allowing Naruto's tongue to enter his mouth slowly and sample him as well.
Their kiss was slow and Neji felt a bit inexperienced compared to his partner but he was eager to match in enthusiasm. Their mouths moved and danced together softly, exploring and experimenting tenderly until they pulled away from one another.
Naruto felt content and a bit light headed, mostly from the kiss. He placed his bare forehead on Neji's cloth covered one and looked into opal eyes that had yet to turn away from him. Naruto could see his incandescent eyes twinkle in the dark, it was eerie but fascinating to watch. Then Naruto started to laugh, well it was more a sort of soft chuckle, and he wrapped the brunette up in his arms. They both toppled over onto Neji's futon, much to his charign, but the Hyuga could not bring himself to complain about it.
"So... what comes next?" Neji asked softly, huddled warmly in the arms of the Uzumaki.
"Well..." Naruto mused quietly, "A lot more of those kisses, for starters." He said with a chuckle, which made Neji laugh. "More time like this." He emphasized by squeezing Neji's shoulders. "Lots of hand holding and eating different food together." Neji smiled more with every word.
"Different foods? Not only ramen?"
Naruto shook his head humorously. "Nope. Ramen is reserved for special occasions." Neji laughed and the blond didn't realize how much he loved the sound until he heard it again. "I warm you though, Hyuga, there is no getting rid of me after this." Naruto sighed and Neji looked up into his blue eyes through the darkness. He wanted to say that he hoped not, that losing Naruto would be more painful than loosing his eyes, but the words lost shape on he lips and instead he lifted his head those few crucial inches it took to close their lips together once more. He hoped it would would be enough to reassure the blond.
Naruto seemed content enough with a simple smirk that followed the soft kiss. After a minute or two of lying there, Naruto became restless, then sat up. He shed himself of the black jacket he wore, folded it neatly and placed it beside the futon. Neji was about to complain at him and ask how dare he get so comfortable in someone else's room without permission but the way he scooted next to the brunette and hugged him close once more chased the words away. If the spirits were kind, he could get used to this.
I want to write these two touching butts but I don't know how to fit it in right now. Once I decide, I'll add to this... Probably in a second chapter.