Originally written April 2002

Title: Did I...?
Rating: M
Summary: Coda to the episode "Scientific Method." Tom's POV. P/T.

A/N: I wrote this after reading J.C. Sun's beautiful story, "Did You?" (an angsty piece about Harry's thoughts on Tom and B'Elanna... a Harry who is in love with B'Elanna. J.C. is an avid K/T'er who is liable to kick my a** if she ever reads this). It's terrible of me, especially since I really admire her work, but I just couldn't resist. :O This one is from Tom's POV, of the same night. I imagine it taking place right after "Scientific Method," but I suppose it could take place anytime after Tom and B'Elanna get together. J.C. doesn't really specify a time period in her story.

Although my story was originally written in April 2002, it was never posted anywhere.

Also, the story link that I have for J.C.'s story no longer works, so if anyone has a link for it, please let me know. Thanks!

The Merlot glides down my throat, its pungent aroma tickling my nostrils. But my mind is clear and focused. The wine in my glass is merely synthehol, incapable of clouding my senses if I don't want it to. And I want to remember every single detail of this night.

In the past I have needed real alcohol to numb the pain, to dull my memory, to make it all easier to bear...

But not anymore.

I clutch the glass a little anxiously, its smooth surface cool and reassuring against the fevered skin of my sweating palm. She hasn't replied yet. And I wonder, did I say the right thing?

As I finally set down the glass on the table, she turns to me and smiles. I smile back, relieved and incredibly happy despite my nervousness. It still amazes me that she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

I lean towards her, cupping her cheek. Her eyes drift close, and I kiss her. She kisses me back, tentatively at first. The feel of her warm, soft lips against mine is intoxicating. She tastes so good, and I want more... I always want more...

I kiss her again, more deeply this time. She eagerly responds. Applying more pressure, my tongue finds its way into her mouth.

Her fingers thread through my hair, drawing me closer to her.

I press her into the back of the loveseat, dropping kisses along her neck, feeling her pulse race beneath my lips. Her supple golden skin tastes like warm spiced honey with the faintest tinge of plasma coolant. I nibble playfully at her throat as she squirms beneath me, her lips seeking mine.

She purrs with satisfaction when I capture her mouth with mine again.

But when I reach behind her to undo the clasp at the back of her dress, I feel her hesitate. I stop.

Did I move too fast? Did I misunderstand?

We stare at each other for a long moment, and I glimpse the fleeting vulnerability in her expression.

At the silent question in my eyes, she looks away. She says nothing, but...

Suddenly I'm feeling very vulnerable as well.

All I can think to do is take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently, trying to convey in that what I cannot express in words alone.

Searching my gaze, she seems to make up her mind. She gives me a small smile, then reaches for me. I wrap my arms around her in a warm, secure embrace.

I've never been very good with the words, but I try to show her how much I care about her.

I think she understands...

She tilts her face towards mine, our lips brushing in the barest of caresses. The kiss deepens and she growls her approval.

This time I let her take the initiative.

Her hands drift to the collar of my shirt, unfastening it carefully. I close my eyes, feeling her small fingers tangling in the hair on my chest. Trailing down, tickling my ribs, down the flat of my stomach, then lower still...

I groan incoherently, wanting to feel all of her against me.

I help her slip out of her dress, letting it fall in a heap on the floor. With a sigh of pleasure, she pulls me closer, hands kneading my shoulders. I kiss her forehead, tracing the soft ridges there.

Moments later I carry her to the bed, setting her down gently. I follow her down, covering her small frame completely, careful not to crush her with my weight.

I kiss wet spirals along her breasts, swirl my tongue around the taut dusky peaks. She arches into my mouth as I begin to suckle. Her sleek skin is flush with arousal. Shivering, she relishes the silken caress of my lips and tongue on her sensitive flesh.

She rolls us over and straddles me. Her eyes are alight with fierce passion and mischief, just like that fateful day on the Sakari homeworld when everything between us changed forever. Her teeth sink lightly into my cheek and jaw, then more firmly. Barely drawing blood but enough to leave her mark on me.

I grin back at her and laugh softly, filled with joy. She bends down to kiss me, her tongue filling my mouth and dancing with mine. Her hands at the waistband of my pants, tugging them down. Her fingers glide ever-so-lightly over the bulge. My breath catches in my throat as she frees my erection and wraps her hand around it. I shudder as she lowers her mouth and engulfs my hard member in wet heat, her warm, moist tongue lavishing attention along the underside.

She continues as I clutch blindly at the sheets, fighting for a shred of self-control. When I can bear it no longer, I grasp her shoulders and tumble us over. She looks up at me, beautiful dark eyes smoldering with desire. I slide my hands to her shapely hips, between the thin fabric and her damp skin, removing the only barrier that remains between us. Slowly, I spread her trembling thighs, sliding my hand between her rosy lips, and she gasps. As my long fingers probe her innermost depths with deliberate ease, her hips rock back and forth, matching my rhythm.

I long to taste her. She moans as I begin to lap gently at her slick folds. I love the taste of her, smoky, exotic, her soft skin satiny and hot.

She cries out my name, raw, undiluted passion in her eyes, and I know she is ready for me. In one fluid, sensual movement, I enter her at long last.

Becoming one...

Transfixed, we stare into each other's eyes for an eternity... a moment so pure that it crystallizes in my mind, in my memory forever.

Moving in synchrony, we hold each other tight. Her fingernails dig into my back, leaving scratches. I can hardly breathe, but it doesn't matter. With each frantic thrust, the world spins away, until nothing exists but us and what we have together...

The pressure builds and builds... dizzy with need and desire... spiraling out of control... flashes of sizzling white light assail my psyche... pulsing... glowing... throbbing...

shattering

flooding, rushing heat...

Her screams echo in my ears.

As we collapse together, panting for breath, I never want to let her go.

Did I ever know what it means to truly love another with all my heart and soul before now? To love completely, unselfishly, purely...

Love of my life... I want to be with her, always.

I gaze into her velvet eyes and whisper, "I love you." She blinks, then looks away for a moment. In the dim light I can see the faint sheen of tears in her eyes. It is the first time those words have not caught in my throat.

She trembles slightly, overcome with emotion. I pull her closer, into a warm embrace, and she hugs me tightly, as though I'll disappear if she lets go. "I love you too," I hear her murmur against my shoulder.

She drops her head on my chest in blissful exhaustion, peaceful and relaxed. Her arm looped around my waist, delicate hand resting on my hip. I cradle her to me, lightly stroking her back.

Smiling at me tenderly, she kisses me again, nuzzling her lips over the mark on my cheek. Contentment as I have never known before fills me.

I pledge my love, my heart, my soul to her. Everything that I have to give, everything that I have to offer... and she vows the same to me.

In the morning when I awake, she is beside me. Safely snuggled in my arms, her face buried in the curve of my shoulder. Her soft, even breathing calms me.

I can't take my eyes away from her... she is so beautiful. I inhale her scent, mingled with the delicate lingering fragrances of sleep and our lovemaking.

As I watch her soundly sleep, I ask myself, did I show her all the tenderness and appreciation that she deserves? Did I tell her how much she means to me, did I let her know that she completes me?

Did I tell her... how much I love her?

She stirs, slowly opening her eyes, and then smiles at me with such love and trust that it takes my breath away.

And I remember...

I did.

The End