I Will Never Stop Trying

Summary: Through faith, hope, love, and patience, a young man attempts to win the heart of the woman that he loves. (Lucas's journey in season 4 to prove that he is the man for Brooke after she breaks up with him.)

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill.

Chapter one: Space Between Us

"Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is give them time and space to think,"

…..

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads.

The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.

Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

…

Lucas sat in the middle of the river court, feeling like shit. It was the middle of the night, but Lucas knew that if he asked anyone of his friends would let him come in to talk…but he did not want to talk to anyone. He did not want to tell anyone that a few hours ago, his world had fallen apart for the second time.

Brooke had broken up with him.

(Flashback)

"Listen, I know it's been difficult for you lately, losing Keith and your heart condition and giving up basketball. I feel like I've been keeping you close to me to try to protect you from those things, like I'm hanging onto the two of us for you, but not for me."

"I'm sorry I kissed Peyton. I should have told you."

"It's not about that, Luke. It's not. I mean, I thought that it was, but this is not about her. This is about me. I love you, Lucas. And I probably always will. But we go days without having a meaningful conversation, and I used to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of it, I stopped missing you. I mean, look at today…. It should not be like this, Luke.

"Brooke-"

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore,"

"Brooke! I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me, too."

Lucas knew that he had faded out a little while Brooke was talking and wished that he knew what she said in between, "Look at today," and "It shouldn't be like this, Luke,". He wanted to know what he had done that had finally broken the camel's back. If it wasn't his kiss with Peyton, then what?

And how could she stop missing him so quickly?

(Flashback)

"So, I guess we never finished that conversation,"

"Dance with me. Did you miss me while you were away?"

"Every day. I was just angry and upset about Keith, and I just needed to be alone, but that doesn't mean that I didn't miss you, Brooke, because I did."

"I needed to hear your voice. There's just so much stuff going on with me."

"What kind of stuff?"

Lucas touched his lips, still able to feel Brooke's mouth pressed against his. At the time, he thought that kiss meant forgiveness, but now he wondered if it was her way of saying goodbye.

A part of Lucas wanted to run to Brooke and beg her for another chance, but if she really stopped missing him then would that change once she saw his face?

No.

What Lucas needed to do was give her space. He should not go see her until he could explain himself properly.

His cell buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, Lucas looked to see his calendar reminding him that it was midnight and officially Brooke's birthday.

Lucas turned off his phone and put it away.

He wondered if Brooke would still want the gift that he bought for her. He would give it to his mom and ask her to give it to Brooke.

That way she would have it and he would not have to face her yet.

Lucas sighed.

Things with Brooke were so easy the first time around. When did everything get so complicated?

Probably around the time he started fooling around with Peyton.

God, he was an idiot.

"So, Brooke just broke up with you?" Skillz asked as they played ball.

"Yep,"

"Man, that's cold, dawg."

"How can someone love you and not miss you at the same time?" Lucas questioned, looking at his friend for an answer, "Doesn't love and longing go hand and hand?"

"I don't know, man," Skillz paused, "Although you did kiss Peyton,"

"She thought she was dying, Skillz." Lucas said, frustrated, "What was I supposed to do?"

Lucas prepared to shoot the ball while Skillz paused to think.

"How about turn your head and let her kiss you on the cheek?" Skillz suggested, and Lucas groaned, the ball bouncing off the rim, "It didn't have to be a kiss on the lips, Luke."

"She said that it wasn't because of Peyton. There's something that she's not telling me," Lucas felt a pang in his chest, "I'm going to get her back."

"You sure?" Skillz questioned, and Lucas looked at him, "Brooke has been through a lot and I know you don't want to hear this, man, but what if the best thing for her is for you to leave her alone,"

"I love Brooke, Skills," Lucas replied. "And she loves me. She said so herself,"

"I know you love her," Skillz rolled his eyes, "And I know she loves you. But, you can't help who you love, Luke,"

"I know that—"

"And that love starts to fade when you keep cheating on her, you know?" Skillz pointed out.

"I didn't cheat on Brooke!" Lucas snapped, but Skillz continued as if he did not say anything.

"Be honest, man. Do you think if she had a choice, Brooke would choose to love you?" Skillz pressed and Lucas flinched, unable to think of a reply.

"I'm going to get her back," Lucas growled, "I just need to figure out where I went wrong."

Peyton pulled up and Lucas regretted texting her about the break-up.

"That's your problem right there," Skillz pointed out, just as Peyton made her way to them, "What's up, home-wrecker?"

"Hi, Skills," Peyton said, nervously, "I see the word's out,"

"Yeah," Lucas mumbled, "I'm sorry about that. What's up?"

"Well, I have a question to ask you. But before you give me an answer, I just want you to know there is a point to it. Okay?" Peyton said.

"Okay," Lucas agreed.

"All right. Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment in your life, and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?"

"Brooke," Lucas said, simply, because there was no one else he could ever imagine wanting beside his side.

He saw Brooke standing beside him with a large smile, giving him a hug and a kiss. He imagined the celebration they would have afterward…

"All right," Peyton cleared her throat, bringing his attention back to her, "If that's what you really want, then I have a way for you to get her back,"

Lucas glanced over Peyton's shoulder, where Skillz gave a shake of his head, mouthing "No,"

"Thank you, Peyton," Lucas said, and Peyton smiled, "But I think I need to figure things out on my own,"

"Oh," Peyton looked crestfallen, "I understand,"

Lucas wavered for a second, then remembered the look on Brooke's face when she walked into his bedroom and found him hanging out with Peyton. Hurt in her eyes before she lashed out in anger.

Maybe if he had not been hanging with Peyton yesterday then Brooke might not have broken up with him? Not that he was blaming Peyton. She was his friend.

He messed things up last year by trying to pursue Peyton while he was still dating Brooke, so really, he only had himself to blame.

"What was your plan?" Lucas asked, and Peyton perked back up.

"So, ever since Brooke turned nine, we've kind of had this ritual on her birthday where we go to her favorite store at the mall half an hour before closing. She picks out a gift, and I steal it for her," Peyton said, quickly.

"You shoplift Brooke's birthday present?" Lucas questioned.

"Yeah, sort of. My dad's friends with the manager, so I would just come home and tell him what we took, and then we'd pay for it. But we never told Brooke. She was all crazy for the juice."

Lucas smiled, picturing Brooke as a child, ecstatic because her best friend cared enough to steal her a gift for her birthday.

"So, I just figured, maybe if you go in my place this year and you're not a complete bonehead in the romance department, then maybe you've got a shot." Peyton finished.

"And you've done this every year for how many years?" Lucas asked.

"This would've been the tenth,"

"But she's pissed at you now," Skillz pointed out, "So, why would she show up?"

"Because if she does show up, then not only is there hope for the two of you but maybe there's some hope for me, too,"

Lucas considered it.

"That's your tradition." He said, slowly, "I can't just steal it. I need to show Brooke that I really do love her and appreciate her. Stealing isn't the way to go about it,"

"But Lucas—" Peyton started, and Lucas shook his head.

"I have to get going," Lucas said, tossing the ball to Skillz, "I'll see you guys around,"

Lucas walked away without a backward glance.

Lucas handed his wrapped present to his mom, who had been planning to have dinner with Brooke for her birthday.

"You sure you don't want to give it to her yourself?" Karen asked, and Lucas shook his head.

"Tell her that…" Lucas paused, "Tell her that I said Happy Birthday,"

"Okay, Lucas," Karen took the present, "I hope you two work things out,"

"We will," Lucas said, firmly, "I just need to give her space and figure out a way to prove myself to her,"

"I'm sure you will," Karen patted her son on the shoulder, "You're a good guy and Brooke knows that."

Lucas didn't reply.

He had not told his mom about the kiss in the library. He knew that would change her view of him and she might not give Brooke his present if she knew. she would probably yell at him.

"Thank you" Lucas finally said.

He had made Brooke a care package; inside was Godiva chocolate (her favorite candy), Daisies (her favorite flowers), and a letter.

Dear Brooke,

I have so much that I want to say to you, but I don't want to overwhelm, you so I'm going to keep it simple.

Happy birthday.

I miss you.

I love you.

I'll be waiting.

Love,

Lucas

He knew it was not his best, but he had a feeling that if he pushed too hard, Brooke would slip through his fingers.

He hoped it was enough.

But he knew that it wasn't.

Lucas sat in his room analyzing his and Brooke's relationship.

Mistakes on Day after they got together:

Answering the phone while making out.

Going to see Peyton instead of staying to help Brooke.

Not telling Peyton that he and Brooke were together until they were already in the car.

Going on a road trip with Peyton to find Ellie, a few hours after they had gotten back together. without telling Brooke first.

Not being there to help Brooke make clothes for her website.

Tricking Brooke into thinking he and Peyton broke down and that they were going to stay in a hotel.

Lucas stared at the list in disbelief. Seeing it written down...made him sound kind of like an asshole.

(Flashback)

"Where are you?"

"Hey, Brooke, I'm really sorry, but it's gonna be a little while. Peyton's car broke down."

"Great. So the two of you are gonna spend the night in some seedy motel. Yeah, and then one thing will lead to another, and - Pretty risky trick, mister."

"You weren't worried, were you?"

"Totally not for a second worried."

"What? Bad day?"

"I just really needed my boyfriend."

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

Author's note: Please Review and PM your thoughts.

What should Lucas have done instead of just going off with Peyton the day after he and Brooke got back together? Peyton needed to go see Ellie and maybe she was right that if she didn't go that day then she never would have gone to see Ellie and Lucas did promise. But he also said that he would see her in a bit and she ended up needing his help, but he wasn't there.

Does anyone know what Brooke said to Lucas in 4x01 between"Look at today," and "It shouldn't be like this, Luke," when she was breaking up with him? I tried listening, but Lucas's voiceover was too loud. I know she said something about laughing with Peyton. It's been bugging me.