I gripped the iron beam that soared into the night sky just as an all too familiar cold gust blew under my tee shirt. It was eight degrees outside but I left my coat home so it wouldn't be a waste of clothing. I felt like I should've cried, but I didn't. I guess there weren't any tears left. My beanie began to slip off my head and before I could pull it back down the wind snatched it up and ran off with my favorite hat. "Whatever, keep it," I sighed.
I looked over the railing into the churning black water beneath me and couldn't help but shiver at the thought of me splashing in. "This is it," I mused. Pulling myself on top of the guardrails, I stood and looked up to the moon. I closed my eyes and breathed in my familiar North Carolina air, knowing this would be my last. "No second thoughts, no qualms," I spoke shakily as my teeth chattered wildly.
"You mean no second chance," a voice whispered behind me; I whipped my head around but saw no one on the sidewalk.
"Who's there?" I shivered; my fingers were beginning to go numb.
"A friend," the voice seemed concerned, but this time it sounded as though the person was on the railing beside me.
"Wh-...Where are you?" I asked. I heard a laugh and noticed a silky frost stretching along the railing that stopped at my feet.
"You can't see me, that's normal, you're 16...I started to quit believing in a lot of things at that age too," the voice sounded reminiscent.
"Hearing things that aren't there is usually a sign of schizophrenia, not a sign of being an atheist," I muttered.
"Hearing things can mean much more than that…just because you don't see me doesn't mean I'm not here, I assure you, I am most certainly here, if I wasn't how would you hear me?" the voice rambled.
"I get it, but…you're nothing more than my mind playing tricks," I stated.
Not wanting to waste any more time I began to lean forward but the voice suddenly shouted, "NO WAIT! DON'T PLEASE!" the voice was shrill and cracked like a child's. It honestly startled me and I had to hug the iron beam as to not slip and fall.
"WHAT?" I bawled, "fucking Christ, do that again and I'll just slip off this damn bridge,"
"I'm sorry, but…no, please don't jump, think about this, you're not going to get this back, once you jump you won't be able to go back,"
"That's the point, Mr. Invisible,"
"You're not getting my point,"
"And what exactly is your point?"
"I've been there,"
"Yes I get it, we've all been depressed before, we've all had bad days and we've all been sad, I've heard this before,"
"I wasn't talking about that," the voice paused, I could faintly hear the gentle thump of heels against the rail; on another support beam the same white frost from before swirled and danced out on the joist's face.
"I mean I have been in the water, I have been under there before…in the dark…the cold…it's not going to be as painless as you think, and I'm not just saying that to get you to reconsider this, I'm saying that because to this day, years after being there, just remembering being swallowed down into that icy pit of dark makes my hands tremble," the voice was calm but anyone who heard it, could have detected the grief it desperately tried to hide.
"You jumped…didn't you?"
"I didn't…" The voice fell silent for what felt like a few minutes, but I was too nervous to say anything. "I fell. See, that's where we're different. I didn't ask to be sucked into the cold. Pulled into the dark. I never wanted any of it. I was ready for life, prepared to take everything and anything head first. Then what? I'll tell you what. I died, saving my sister. That is truly the only thing that keeps me going every day. The fact that I know she lived on because I was there. That's the only thing that makes my death worth it…most of the time,"
"I'm…sorry," I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and wanted to cry but I swallowed up my emotion and hugged my chest to warm up a bit. I turned to the water below, churning more than before. The moon had started to set and the sunlight was just starting to peek over the horizon.
"Don't apologize. That was more than six hundred years ago," the voice chuckled; I suddenly noticed how musical it sounded to my ears. "By the way, can I ask you to get off that fucking railing? You're making me so nervous,"
I let me legs fall off and I hopped onto the pavement. I heard a pair of feet hit the sidewalk beside me, but to no surprise I didn't see anything. "So when can I actually see my mysterious hero?"
"Hero?" the voice sounded so bashful I could see a blushing grin. "I wouldn't call myself that, I think you can just call me a friendly passerby,"
"A passerby that sort of just saved my life," I heard the words slip out of my mouth, yet they sounded so wrong. This mystery voice saved my life, but it…or really they…saved my life…from myself.