Isolation
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva. Gainax does. Yup.
A/N: Breathe in, breathe out... Ooh, boy, I finally got this stuff fixed up so it's not as crappy as before. Well, enjoy, read, review, flame, whatever.
*December 26th, 2023*
Touji hated the world. He hated himself. He hated Evas.
Most of all, he hated life. He didn't want to live, not after he lost his arm and leg. And it wasn't his fault, or Shinji's, or even Commander Ikari's fault. It was the Angel. Yes. All the Angel's fault.
Touji limped to the kitchen of his small and messy apartment. After weaving his way through the junk on the floor, he fell forward as his artificial leg tripped upon something. It was just as good as a human's, but maybe because he hated it so much, his body seemed to reject its uses.
Damn. Talk about adding insult to the injury. Maybe coffee will make me feel better, he thought bitterly as he pulled himself up. He dragged himself to the kitchen and took out a bottle of instant coffee.
He scooped up some coffee powder into a mug with a shaky artificial limb, which also functions just like a regular limb but since he hardly used it so he's not used to it. As he did so, his eyes caught onto the date of today on the calendar.
My twenty-second birthday, he thought, feeling more bitter, and no one remembered.
Not that he was surprised. He'd seen no one but strangers for the past two years. He had dropped out of school, locked himself in the house and only went outside if he had to. Very saddening.
Not even my sister remembered, he thought as the bitterness turned into self-pity. No one bothered to show up at my door. Not even Shinji. Not even Kensuke. Not even Hikari. Not even my own sister.
He stirred the coffee with his good hand, then tasted a bit. It was bitter and strong, probably because there was no cream or sugar in it.
Touji grabbed a milk carton from the fridge, poured some into his mug, then stirred it until it became a light brown color. Then, with a shaky plastic hand, he scooped a teaspoon of sugar and brought it over the coffee.
"Shit!" Touji yelled as his unstable hand knocked the spoon into the cup and pushed it off the counter. He jumped back to avoid being burnt.
Cursing himself for his stupid mistake, he grabbed a towel and cleaned off the counter and the floor, wiping off perfectly fine coffee from the floor. He rinsed the towel in the sink, watching milky brown fluid run down the drain.
After drying off the towel, he saw a picture near the windowsill. It was an old picture of him and friends back before the Third Impact. In it stood himself, Kensuke, Shinji, Asuka, Hikari, Misato, Kaji, Pen-Pen and Rei at a party. It was one of the best times he had, although Asuka was constantly picking at him. So long ago, so careless. This was before the accident, he thought, Before I lost my arm and leg. In frustration at everything, he opened up the window and tossed the picture out.
Sulking in misery, he sat down in a chair and rested his elbows on the table, and buried his face in his hands.
It was too painful for him. That's why he dropped out of school. Everyone would go up to him and say, "Oh, cool, is that an artificial arm?"
"Oh, weird! Does it hurt?"
"How does it work"
"Is it simple to operate?"
"Can you take it off?"
"What happened to you?!"
Why won't they just fucking leave me alone?! Touji wanted to yell at them, I'm just a normal boy, just like the rest of you! But truth was, he wasn't, and he knew that. He was an outcast. A reject. A weakling.
He gave up everything he cared about. He left school, therefore leaving his friends and Hikari. He moved out of his home as soon as he was eighteen, leaving behind his family. He never headed outside, leaving behind his jock lifestyle. He wasn't even Suzuhara Touji anymore. He was no one.
At that moment, he was snapped out of his trance as he heard the door knock. "Who...?"
Limping to the door, he opened it up and saw four people outside.
"Surprise!" they shrieked.
Touji blinked. He was not expecting this at all.
Outside his door stood Hikari, Kensuke, Shinji and Asuka. In Hikari's arms held a plain white box, and Shinji had his arm slid around Asuka's waist.
Touji felt slightly jealous of Shinji. He and Asuka had bonded almost immediately after everything was restored, and he was envious. He and Hikari should've paired up first; they were much more similar than Shinji and Asuka. But they didn't do anything. And it was probably his fault, too. He had felt attracted to Rei, but those feelings quickly changed as he began to saw the class representative in a different way after Asuka told him that she liked him. That was after the Third Impact.
"Watch what you do with your pictures," Kensuke said, handing back the photo which he tossed out, "That almost hit me in the head."
Touji took it wordlessly. "What... What're you doing here?"
"It's your birthday, stupid!" Hikari said, slapping his arm playfully. "Don't you remember your own birthday?"
"Happy birthday," Shinji said, smiling at his friend.
Asuka muttered the same words under her breath. She didn't like being sappy.
"Happy birthday, Touji!" Kensuke congratulated.
"Um... Thanks," Touji managed out.
"Well? Aren't you going to let us in?" Hikari asked, "This cake'll taste horrible if it gets too warm."
"Oh. Sorry. Come in," Touji responded, opening the door wider for his friends.
"Thanks!" Kensuke, Hikari and Shinji responded at the same time and walked through, but Asuka was already in, walking proudly.
The guests sat down at the kitchen table while Touji grabbed a few plates and utensils, and of course a long knife. He cut the cake into pieces and served the pieces to his friends, then got a piece for himself.
"Touji, you need help there?" Shinji asked, seeing Touji's quivering artificial hand raising a fork to his mouth.
"I'm fine," Touji replied coolly, as he stuck the fork in his mouth and savored the rich flavor of the cake. He smiled at his pals.
"Do you like it? I'm sorry if it's not your favorite," Hikari told him from the opposite side of the table.
"I love it," Touji said simply, "That's why I smiled."
The five-some ate in awkward silence. The only sound was the clattering of forks against plates and the howl of cars in the streets below.
Kensuke decided to break the ice first. "So, um, Touji, why aren't you at school anymore?"
"Yeah," Shinji added, "and you're not at the gym, either. We thought you were horribly sick or something."
Touji was shocked at the questions. "Uh, I'm not at school anymore because I dropped out," he responded sarcastically, feeling slightly hurt that they didn't know the answers to the questions, "and I'm not at the gym anymore because of my frickin' arm and leg."
"Your limbs are fine," Asuka mumbled through a mouthful of cake, "It's as good as mine. What's wrong with it?"
"It sucks ass!" Touji objected, "What do you mean, 'what's wrong with it'?!"
"It's fine!" Shinji countered.
"Hell, yeah right. Come on, Shinji, why the hell'd you offer help when I was eating?! You saw me shaking! My arm was shaking like a stupid-ass retard. It sucks ass."
"You just need to use it more," Kensuke reasoned.
"Shut up!" Touji yelled, "Don't talk about my artificial limbs! Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!"
The guests were shocked at his outburst.
"I'm just trying to help!" Kensuke protested.
"You wanna help?!" Touji exclaimed, "Then get your asses out of my apartment!"
"What?" Shinji mumbled, slightly confused at the situation.
"You're booting us out?!" Asuka cried in disbelief, "After we tried to make you happy? What kind of a freaking friend does THAT?!"
"Whoever said I was your friend, bitch?!" Touji yelled.
"Hey!" Shinji cried, glaring at Touji.
"Get out of my apartment!" Touji commanded, standing up. When the guests didn't move, he yelled the same order so loudly that the people in the surrounding apartments could hear him. "Get out!"
Shocked, Kensuke, Shinji and Asuka headed obediantly for the door.
"You, too, Hikari," Touji commanded, although regretting saying that as soon as it escaped his mouth.
"I'm not moving."
"Get your ass out of my apartment now."
"Touji," Hikari pleaded, "Please... This isn't you. Touji, don't give up hope. Don't just push everyone away. We're all here for you. Please..."
Touji saw the desperation in Hikari's eyes, and the begging in her soft voice. She was on the verge of tears.
Shit, he thought, she's gonna cry, and it'll be my fault. How could I have made her cry?!
Feeling worthless, he collapsed down onto his knees and fell forward, supporting his body with the palms of his hands. "Oh, God," he sobbed, inhaling sharply, "What the hell happened to me?! What did I do wrong?! What did I do to deserve this?!"
Hikari ached for Touji. She hated seeing him like this. It just wasn't the Touji she grew up with and loved. It was someone else... And she wanted the old Suzuhara Touji back.
She bent down and kneeled beside him, sitting on her feet. "It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. Hush." With a gentle touch, she guided Touji's head to her shoulder and embraced him.
"I'm so sorry, Hikari. I'm so sorry! So, so, so very sorry..."
Hikari ran her hand through his dark hair, as his tears stained her shirt. Slowly, he slid down until he was crying on her chest and she was holding him, rocking his head back and forth like a mother and a child.
"It's alright, Touji, it's alright," she assured him in a soft voice. Then, gathering up her bravery, she hoped that she wouldn't get rejected as she lifted his face off her chest and gave him a soft kiss.
She shut her eyes, feeling his trembling lips against her own and the warmth of his body. Tears spilt out slowly, rolling down her cheeks, leaving marks on her face. When they parted, both of them were crying shamelessly, both in happiness.
Touji reached up with his trembling artificial arm and touched her cheeks, wiping away tears while smiling for the first time since he isolated himself from others. "You have no idea how much that meant to me."
~Fin~
A/N: Oy... I'm sorry for this... This hasn't gone through a pre-reader, so it's not exactly the best in the world... I'm sorry... Oh, yeah- I hope you guys got that thing with the coffee, I forgot to mention it when I first had this up- it's like his life. Perfectly fine, but wasted. Get it? A-ha-ha-ha, I crack myself up. (Oy... Tough crowd...) Well, I'm off. Byebye!