People don't understand why I keep trying. They ask me why I continue on, knowing defeat is inevitable. Why does anyone continue on? Defeat is inevitable for all of us, isn't it? We'll all end up dead, sooner or later. At least, if my time comes soon, I'll know I've tried my best to make an impression on the world.

Everyone tells me that my goals will never be reached. They say that I won't become more than what I am now. They've always said that, yet I keep progressing. I reach a new level, and they say I'm at my peak, so I try harder and reach the next level. Then the next, and the next, and the next, but it will never be enough. No matter what I accomplish, it will never be enough to prove my worth.

Someone once asked me why I decided to become a ninja. I guess it started when my parents died. My parents were killed when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha; I was only a year old. One of the female ninjas in the village, some say it may have even been Tsunade-sama herself, found me laying in a pile of rocks, hence my surname. My given name was carved onto a pendant around my neck, "Lee." I grew up in the orphanage of Konoha. I was ridiculed constantly because of my eyebrows, so I grew my hair out to cover them up. But I was still alone. It seemed no one wanted to risk becoming the friend of the eyebrow kid. So I watched everyone playing together, having fun, building relationships. From my window, I could watch the students at the ninja academy train together and play. These children, who had never met each other before, became best friends, relying on each other for survival. I thought it was the only possible way I could ever have friends. So I decided to enroll in the ninja academy, to find comrades. I trained as hard as I could at ninja academy, but something was lacking.

I couldn't use magic. I couldn't do any ninjutsu or genjutsu. My taijutsu was horrible also, but I knew it was my only hope. So I tried, and tried, and tried. But I hardly improved. I was ready to give up.

Finally, I met him. I was practicing one day, not long after I had started at the academy. I remember it like it was yesterday. I'll never forget that moment. He didn't even introduce himself. He just flashed a smile and gave me thumbs up. "Youth… The youth of springtime must be hot-blooded! If you work hard you will become an excellent ninja! Young man! Stick out your chest with pride!"

I didn't know what to say. It was the first time I had ever heard any encouragement. I was, what, 10, and that was the first time I had heard any encouraging words. I wondered how I had made it so far on my own, and I realized that maybe he was right. If I keep trying, I will become an excellent ninja!

So I kept trying. And I graduated ninja academy, against all odds. And I ended up on his team. So I tried, even harder. I felt honored. I was on the team of Hyuuga Neji, the number one rookie, a Hyuuga genius. I'd have plenty of opportunities to test my skill. I kept pushing forward. Gai-sensei told me he had once been just like me, and ended up able to defeat the elite Copy Ninja Kakashi. So, if I tried, I could beat the elite genius Neji. I tried and failed. Tried and failed.

The Chunin exams came quickly, even though Gai-sensei had made us wait an extra year. I was excited. I wanted to test my strength against other great ninjas. Before the exam, I had the opportunity to fight the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan, Uchiha Sasuke. And I would have won, had we not been interrupted. I considered that the first victory on my quest for success. I was ready for anything as we entered the Forest of Death. My teammates could hardly keep up with me. I couldn't wait to fight the strongest genin in the world.

I was honored. My first match, and I was paired against Subuku no Gaara, Gaara of the Sand. He made it through the forest of death without a scratch. Kiba's dog, Akamaru, was whimpering pathetically in Gaara's presence. It should be fun, I thought. The second I stared into his eyes, I knew I would win this match, or die trying. I gave it my all, and it still wasn't enough. My body wouldn't stop fighting. According to Gai-sensei, even after I had lost consciousness, I kept trying to fight.

According to Kakashi-sensei, I am a genius. Opening up even the first gate is just a dream for many ninjas, but to be able to open 5 of them is an unthinkable accomplishment.

And yet, I still felt inadequate. Sasuke-kun won his match without a problem. He copied my taijutsu that I had worked and bled so hard to master to win his match. Naruto defeated Kiba and Akamaru, fighting hard, with fierce determination that possibly even surpasses my own. Then Neji, his cruelty and hatred boiled over, and strengthened him even more. I watched them fight, and I was determined to keep up. Facing and defeating an opponent as strong as Gaara would certainly be a way to gain respect in the final matches. If only I had won…

I trained. I kept training. The nurses were frightened for my life. I kept pushing myself. Seeing how easily Sasuke copied my taijutsu and my speed, everything I had worked so hard to master, made me lose my confidence. I had to keep going. I had to keep trying.

I think Gai-sensei was as anxious as I was to get me back on my feet. When Tsunade-sama came back, he was outraged by her diagnosis. But we wouldn't take no for an answer. Gai-sensei said the luck is part skill- if I was strong enough, then I'd be lucky and the operation would be a success.

I watched painfully as my friends went off after Sasuke and the Sound Four- I couldn't follow, I had just had the operation. I saw Sakura-san's face, and realized where her heart belonged. Even though I realized I could never have her, I refused to watch her be sad. I wouldn't let Sasuke leave her. I wouldn't let my friends face such fierce enemies alone. The hospital could only watch me for so long- the second they turned their backs, I snuck past the medic-nins and headed toward the Rice Patty Country- the home of the Hidden Sound Village.

Perhaps it is not in my cards to properly win a battle. Kimimaro was fierce, but very confused. I somehow managed to hit him, I don't quite remember how. He said I was drunk. How could that be? The only thing I had had that day was the medicine Tsunade-sama had given me. Hmmm… perhaps the medicine had alcohol in it?

I tried the Lotus against Kimimaro, but his bones absorbed my kick. I thought it was over- when the last person in the world I expected to save me intervened. Subuku no Gaara. The man who tried to kill me as I lay unconscious in the hospital saved my life. A man who swore allegiance to no one, and wanted only to bring death to others aided the Leaf, and saved my life. What a slap in the face that was. Even he had difficulties defeating Kimimaro, but in the end, our luck prevailed and we were victorious.

Gaara… he most certainly is a very smart, observant man. In many ways, he is very much like me… We were both alone the first few years of our lives, teased by others. Certainly I agree that Gaara had a much harder childhood than I; perhaps only Naruto could truly empathize with Gaara. But the three of us, we all spent our lives seeking acknowledgement. I found Gai-sensei, Naruto-kun found Iruka-sensei, but Gaara found death.

Perhaps Gaara was right. Perhaps I am just like Kimimaro. I so needed acceptance and acknowledgement, I began to idolize the first person who showed me any respect. I was lucky to have gotten that respect from Gai-sensei, a person who truly cared about me and believed in me. Orochimaru, on the other hand, only had his own interests at heart, and used Kimimaro for his bloodline limit. I called Kimimaro weak and pathetic for his admiration and blind obedience to Orochimaru, but now I'm not sure that I wouldn't have done the same had I been in his place.

Who knows what my life would have become had I never met Gai-sensei. I may not have even graduated from the academy. If not for Gai-sensei, I may have lost faith in myself long ago. I certainly wouldn't have learned the Lotus, my strongest technique. And my nindo… no one would ever think it possible. But I will continue to protect everything dear to me: Sakura-san, Konoha, Gai-sensei, but most importantly…

My nindo.