I realized I was in love with Hermione Granger when I received the Dark Mark. I acknowledge that that's a bit twisted, but it's true nevertheless.

Obtaining the Dark Mark is not easy. It's not as if Voldemort taps your arm with his wand and all of a sudden you have a tattoo. Not even close. It's an internal battle. One in which you find where your true loyalties lie. Those who don't find their loyalties in the Dark Lord do not live to tell the tale. Skilled Legillemens that he is, the world should expect no less.

My loyalties do, in fact, lie with the Dark Lord. This is not true for the reason you think. In no way, shape or form do I hate Muggles or Muggle-borns.

What I want is to protect those I love. The safest way to do that is to lie down with dogs. I know perfectly well that the Dark Lord is a madman. All the more reason to keep an eye on him. My father truly believes what the Dark Lord tells him. Muggles are filth. Muggles attacked and killed my grandmother when my father was a little boy. Apparently all Malfoy men are slaves to women. He has always hated Muggles for hating us. He doesn't see that that fact makes him just like those he hates. I do.

I will not – cannot - repeat the things I saw during the time I was under the Dark Lords spell. I will tell you that I was him for exactly what he is and that I understood that the only way I could keep the ones I love safe was to join him.

She hates me for it. I can't say I blame her. To her, I stand for everything she stands against. I told her I had to, but I see it in her eyes. She thought I didn't hear her crying that night.

I do not possess the Gryffindor bravery. I saw no reason to deny everything I have ever known to be near the woman I love, leaving my mother with that madman. I could not be sure that either of them would be safe. Putting my life in danger means that I would not be able to protect them should anything happen to me.

I do not possess the cleverness of a Ravenclaw. I saw no way around receiving the mark. No way to stay away from this war without putting myself and those that I love if immediate danger. Even my father would have been punished for my disobedience.

I do not even possess the virtue of those in the house of Hufflepuff. To me, the Dark Lord is a means to an ends. If I must lay down with dogs to keep Hermione and my parents and friends safe so be it.

I do possess the ambition, the cunning, and the power of Slytherin. I saw the only possible ways this war can end for us. I took the position with the most appealing outcome.

When the Mark begins to show on a man's arm, it is because he is finding his resolve to follow the Dark Lord. Mine began to show when I saw Hermione.

I had forced her to take a ride on my broom. When I found that she had let neither Ron nor Krum do so I decided she would let me. With my arm around her I flew her to above the school where we could see the grounds for miles. As she stared at the landscape, I stared at her.

The moonlight in her hair drove me crazy. She looked like an angel. Her eyes almost black at night were filled with excitement, and a little bit of fear. Her hair fell over her shoulders in waves, as untamable as ever. She had placed her head on my shoulder, and it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced.

I do not regret my choice.

I would die for her.

I realized I was in love with Draco Malfoy when I saw that he took the Dark Mark. I know, that's sick. Believe me, I know.

I don't know how, but I knew why he took it. He's keeping his family safe.

I've come to realize that there is a certain look he gets in his eyes when he insults a muggleborn witch or wizard. He seems bored. I don't know why, but at the end of last year I began to watch him. He intrigued me. The Slytherin Prince.

I began to fall in love with Draco Malfoy when I saw him cry.

I had been walking around the hallways, unable to sleep when I heard footsteps behind me. Constant vigilance.

I spun around, but was too late. My shadow had disappeared. I walked on, and didn't hear footsteps again. Relieved I walked back to my dorm to read myself to sleep. On my way I saw a door open and a light on.

Draco Malfoy stood at the window; crying. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. His white hair was out of place; his shoulders slumped forward in an uncharacteristic slouch. He wore jeans and a black oxford shirt. I'm not sure why the jeans surprised me, I knew many wizards who wore them.

Then he looked at me and I was forever lost.

His normally slate gray eyes were a sea of silver and slate and other shades of gray I cannot name. Tears flowed down his perfect cheeks. His lips were open, I suppose from the shock of seeing me. I turned to run away.

"Wait."

It was a command, not a request.

I turned back and found him halfway to where I stood. He hadn't bothered to wipe the tears from his cheeks. I was shaking. I didn't know what he planned to do to me, but I didn't think it could be good. Then I did something that surprised me even more than it did him.

I hugged him. He cried. I held him close to me. I began to fall for him.

When he had no more tears to spill, he looked at me. His eyes were red from crying, but their color was a solid light gray. They were usually much darker and this scared me more than him crying.

"Thank you." He began to walk out the door.

"Wait!" Mine was a request, but I knew he would oblige. He turned to me. "Why?"

I knew he wasn't going to tell me, but he did do something that I didn't expect. He smiled. "Thank you," he repeated. Then he was gone.

I was waiting for him the night he took the Mark. I knew where he had gone. I wasn't fooling myself into thinking he would give up his entire life just for me. I knew he would do what he had always planned on, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Oh, God, Draco."

It was the first time she'd ever said my first name. It felt so perfect on her lips. The night I got my Mark. No, not my Mark. The Mark.

"Oh, God, Draco."

Then she left. She just walked out of the room. I can see her now. Laughing with Golden Boy and the Weasel. I wish she would just look at me.

And then she does and I wish she hadn't. Her eyes switch so suddenly from laughing to pained when she turns and sees me. I have to excuse myself to my room.

How could she not see that I had done it for her?

She stopped him before he got to the dungeons. "Malfoy," she called, "wait!"

She knew he would obey her. "I know. I know it was for them."

She waited for a response. He just stared at her. Stared with his light gray eyes. She turned to leave.

"I just thought you would want to know."

I couldn't believe it. She really doesn't know. She has no clue that I did it for her. I couldn't do anything but just stare at her. She looked away, then said, "I just thought you would want to know."

She was going to leave. I had to do something. "It was for you!"

That was a bit louder than I intended. She needed to hear it. She turns towards me, not believing. "What?"

I walk towards her, my heart racing. We'd been in a strained quasi-relationship since she found me in that abandoned classroom. I still wasn't quite sure what she wanted from me, but if I could I would give her that and more. "It was for you," I repeated in almost a whisper.

It was my turn to stare. I had no idea he cared for me. In the same way that I knew he had taken the mark to save his family, I knew he had taken it to save me. He had given his freedom to ensure my safety. He didn't need to say it, I knew.

I realized I loved him when I saw the Mark on his arm. I realized all that came with it. We would really be on opposite sides of this war. We would convince everyone that we hated each other. He would end up marrying a pureblood woman, while I would end up with Ron. There was no other way. We both knew it.

Now I knew he loved me. I couldn't help myself; I launched myself into his arms. I was sobbing.

I expected her to cry about as much as I expected her to need me to hold her. I wiped her tears away with my thumb and held her to me as closely as possible without hurting her. I then turned her face towards mine. "When this is all over, when one of them wins, I will come back for you."

I looked into his eyes and saw he meant it. "I'll be waiting." Was all I said before I turned to leave.

"Hermione!" he yelled. He had never said my first name before. It felt so good to hear it from his lips. I turned to him.

I would remember the way he looked then when the war was at its coldest. When I had given up all hope, I would remember the way his hair fell in his eyes, the way half of his shirt was out of his pants and the look in his eyes as he said, "I love you, Hermione. I will come back for you."

I smiled, and left.

That smile. That was the smile that would get me through the nights when I had given up all hope, when the war was at its coldest. She loved me.

I would help Potter bring down the Dark Lord. That was the future I wanted for her. I had already known that, but I wouldn't place her in any more danger than she would place herself in. We would make the outcome be what we wanted for the people we loved. I had forgotten about after the war while concentrating on getting her through it.

I have to make the woman I love happy.