Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with the Mortal Instruments, I just love the series! This story may or may not be a one-shot, I'm not sure yet. Trigger warning, contains rape and may or not may contain self harm in the future. Please be gentle if you choose to review. Thank you and I hope you enjoy or at least don't hate this. Sorry if POV is confusing, I haven't had much practice writing anymore and had to write this up will being distracted by toddlers.
Clary was on her way to the institute and couldn't wait to see Jace. It had only been two weeks since she they learned the truth and could finally be together. Two weeks of feeling at peace, no more worrying about her psychotic father and brother. Now she just has to focus on learning her heritage and to be a Shadow hunter so she could help protect humanity. So caught up in her musings she was caught off guard as someone grabbed her arm. She was about to grab a seraph blade before realizing it was a human that grabbed her. "Excuse me" she said attempting to take her arm back and continue on her way. The man, tall and muscular but grubby looking, chuckled darkly. "No, excuse me beautiful. I don't think you need to run off just yet. Why don't you stay and have a bit of fun." He grabbed her and pulled her up against himself, gripping her wrists so tightly she could already feel them start to bruise. She starts to scream and he throws her down, her head striking the pavement and bringing a way of dizziness on. Before she can recover a rag in forced into her mouth and quickly tied off. He drags her into an empty alleyway and behind a dumpster before forcing her jacket down and pinning her arms with it. He then takes a knife and splits her shirt down the front, cutting her chest in the process. He grabbed at her breast and roughly squeezes them making her cringe and kick out at him but he is too large and uses his body to pin her to the dirty ground. Desperation floods her body and she fights desperately to get away but it's no use. The man is talking but she can't understand him over the roar of her own panicked thoughts. It isn't until he tears her jeans off and forces himself into her that she blanks out. Some time later she comes back to reality and finds herself still laying on the ground in the alleyway, feeling a throbbing pain at her center and various other injuries. She looks around and sees she is alone and starts to wriggle out of her jacket and pull the crude gag out of her mouth. Every movement sends a wave of agony over her body. She sighs in relief as she finds her stele still in her pocket and shakily draws a healing rune on her arm. As the pain starts to fade she is overcome with the horror of what had occurred. Had she really just been on her way to see her boyfriend and been raped? How could this have happened to her. She is supposed to be a demon hunter and can't even fend off a mundane who wanted to hurt her. She scrambles to pull on the rest of her clothing, zipping her jacket to cover her torn shirt.
She gets up and runs the rest of the way to the institute where she is now living while she completes her training. She pauses outside the door to catch her breath and then enters the sanctuary. Being as careful as possible to not run into any of the others she sneaks down to her room and closes the door. After drawing a locking rune she sinks to her knees and finally lets loose the torrent of tears that had been threatening to overwhelm her. Filled with a sense of disgust she drags herself to the bathroom and into the shower, not even bothering to remove her clothes. Sitting on the tiled floor she lets the scalding hot water pour over her and pretends that it can clean the filth out of her. Failing to find the strength to do anything else she stays in there until the water turns cold and then drags herself to bed, undressing finally before grabbing on of Jace's shirts and a pair of sweats. Cocooning herself in blankets she falls into a deep sleep.
Hours later she is awakened by a pounding at her door. Confused for a moment she wonders if everything had been a dream but the deep ache inside of her that even the healing rune could not erase told her that wasn't the case. Another knock made Clary jump out of bed, stumbling slightly on her sheets that caught at her feet. She shakily makes it to her door and takes a deep calming breath before opening the door. Jace stood in the hallway, hand poised to knock again and gave her a quick once over cocking an eyebrow up. God was he beautiful. "Clary were you asleep? I know the thought of seeing my gorgeous self can wear anyone out but it is 2 in the afternoon." He leaned in to tug on a strand of her hair. His close proximity brought a wave of panic over Clary and she stepped back. Feeling naseau start to overtake her Clary said "I must be coming down with something, I don't feel well. I'll see you later." Clary quickly closes the door and races to the bathroom before being violently ill. A hand on her back makes her jump and she realizes that Jace had followed her into the room. Overcome with shame at the thought of him witnessing her being sick and imaging he could see the filth from that… man… forcing himself on her earlier makes her tear up slightly. "Jace, I really don't feel good please just leave. I want to sleep." Not looking at him she misses his calculating look as he really looks at her and scans the worse than normal state of her room. Looking down he spies her ruined clothes from that morning in a heap by the end of her bed. Concern fills him and doubles as she all but pushes him out of the room. "Clary did something happen? Are you okay?" Panicked, she replies "Yes, I'm fine. I just don't feel well! I'll see you later" and she closes the door in his face this time remember the locking rune.
Outside in the hallway Jace is bewildered and worried about Clary. Something has happened he thinks to himself and races off to find Isabelle. If anyone could help him figure out what was up with Clary it would be his sister.
Inside the room Clary stands in the middle of her room with thoughts racing through her head and the taste of vomit still in her mouth. Her hair is a mess around her head and she feels disgusted with herself and anger at the nameless man who had hurt her. How could she be so weak as to let a single mundane overpower her. None of the others would ever let something like that happen. She is so damn weak. Resolve fills her and she clenches her fists. I will train and become the best shadow hunter I can, strong enough that no one will ever be able to take advantage of me again. Until then I'm going to have to break up with Jace, he deserves better than a weakling like me. I'll make myself better. Make myself stronger and I will hunt down that piece of shit who did this to me and make him pay. Maybe then I'll feel good enough to deserve love again. Filled with a newfound sense of purpose Clary brushes her hair and throws it into a tight ponytail. Grabbing a pair of sneakers she takes off to the training room.