Deidara-chan
Deidara-chan
Authors note: I do not own Naruto… I have never owned Naruto… I have never come into contact with the person who does own Naruto… There is no law of matter that states: If you come in contact with Masashi Kishimoto the rights to his manga will automaticly pass to you through the process of diffusion… This will probably be one of the only times I'll mention this so don't haggle me! Or bad things may or may not happen in a sequence of uncontected events to everything you may or may not love…
Chapter one: Dangerous clouds on the horizon!
"Sasori-no-Danna wait up, un!" Deidara jogged after Sasori, swinging his plastic bag, as the later had started to walk away already.
"I'm not going to be late because of you…" Sasori's eyes looked up at Deidara from the face of his hunched over puppet.
"Tch… I was just buying some CD's…" Deidara eyebrow twitched from the irritation of Sasori's nasty look "Take some time and enjoy the festival Sasori-no-Danna, h'm!"
"The Festival is our cover… We'll be meeting the operative here…" Sasori icily stared ahead.
"Yeah but shouldn't we stop by stores every now and then to not draw attention to ourselves?" Deidara eyed a passing couple as the freaked out over Sasori's puppet form.
Sasori froze for a moment. Deidara stopped beside Sasori…
"You know we aren't meeting them for two whole days I mean how can we be late… and
I saw a nice Inn and Hot Spring on the outskirts of this town… we could stay there for a little while…"
"It's not that…" Sasori was starting to be swayed "… we could really be late it's just that…" he looked up a Deidara slightly nervously.
Deidara blushed slightly and looked a lot more nervous and awkward as he stood up straight.
"No…" Sasori shook his head chuckling…
Deidara sighed with relief he'd been in to many fanfictions like that.
"Kakuzu made me promise not to let you spend the entirety of Akatsuki's funds…"
Deidara sat down cross-legged in the street looking up at the blue sky with a growing population of cumulonimbus clouds imagining a hot spring he'd never get to enjoy...
"But we might need a place for you to rest and me to change puppets…" Sasori finally gave in.
"Yes!" Deidara cheered as he jumped up from his seat, causing more people to stare at him than Sasori.
'That guys weird' 'What's wrong with that woman Mommy?' were just a few pinpricks of conversation Deidara picked up as he pushed Sasori away from the crowd that was staring at him.
At The Inn Just Outside Of Town
"Hey cutie!" The young greeter behind the desk laughed trying out what he thought was a dazzling smile… it wasn't… "Can I get you and your Dad a room?" He leaned forward closer to a twitching angry Deidara he whispered " Or would you like a room separate so I can have an extra key?"
Deidara's response would have been quick and brutal to the point that it would leave the insolent greeter in no doubt as to Deidara's gender… But Sasori intervened…
"Two rooms would be nice thank you young man…" Sasori chuckled.
Deidara shook with pure fury; through gritted teeth he spoke flames leaping around him as the greeter went to fetch their keys "' Dad' I Think It's Time We Had A Chat!"
Deidara and Sasori snuck back a few feet from the counter.
"What the hell are you doing, h'm?" Deidara stood facing Sasori with the greeter behind the desk making googly eyes at Deidara.
Sasori with his back to the greeter seemed to smile, and even though Sasori couldn't 'see' the greeter Deidara knew he knew that the greeter was now blowing kisses "This place is expensive and I don't want to be on Kakuzu's bad side…"
"He has a good side, un?" Deidara closed his eyes blocking out the greeter and his playful clawing.
Sasori nodded "Deidara I need you to get that lug to drop the prices for our rooms, or we will be forced to share a room and this fanfiction will go down a completely different route!"
" Fine… but it already feels like it's going down that route… for me at least…" Deidara's tears streamed as he spoke.
It started to look very stormy outside as Deidara swallowed his pride painfully and approached with his 'Dad'.
"How much will these rooms cost for two nights?" Sasori asked forcefully.
"Err…" The greeter watched as Deidara looked down slightly blushing as he tried to think of something that would entice the greeter " 100 a night… for… uh…b-both rooms…"
"Hmmm… It might be better if my daughter and me share a room than… it would be 50 a night than… much cheaper…"
"GUH! Did I say 100 a night I meant 25 all together for staying here with both rooms… But that's just a discount for being the 20th costumer and you'd have to have separate rooms for the offer!" The greeters offer change dramatically when Deidara smiled shyly up at him while still blushing mumbling something cutely.
Sasori nodded "Deal! Now give us our keys..."
After an awkward handing out of keys…
Deidara and Sasori walked down the hall to their respective rooms, Deidara looked very sick…
"I can't believe I did that…" He looked ready to puke.
"Yes but now if you see that greeter again you have to pretend to be a girl… or we'll get kicked out for fraud…"
"It would be his own fault he let us pay so little, Yeah…" Deidara mumbled.
Sasori and Deidara reached Sasori's room first.
"You know what will make you feel better?" Sasori's large Puppet character's back opened and out popped Sasori's more incognito red headed self "let's take a hot bath in the spring!"
"Yes!" Deidara cheered happily.
Deidara rushed all the way to his room, with a cloud of dust filling the hallway behind him. Once in the room he quickly grabbed a towel and rushed back to Sasori who was checking the seals on all his poisonous traps to make sure the poison wouldn't get into the water.
"I'm ready, un!" Deidara cheered "let me get at the hot spring, h'm!"
As Deidara and Sasori where walking to the hot spring Deidara was so happy he almost skipped… But that would make him look like a girl… and so he didn't skip… But just as they had stripped down to their swimming shorts, Sasori realized something terrible!
"It's raining out there…" Sasori looked unconcerned… even as lightning hit inside the walled off hot spring lighting everything up like it was day and leaving Sasori and Deidara blinking away spots in their vision.
"Can we still go, yeah?" Deidara looked at Sasori sadly.
"Dumbass!" Sasori punched Deidara in the face "Did you not see the LIGHTNING? Do you want to sit in that? Not to mention the rain will get you sick and unable to help in our mission!"
"sniff… I'm sawwy…sniff" Deidara held his bleeding nose.
Sasori looked over at the kneeling Deidara whose teary eyes made him incredibly womanly…
"No it was my fault I shouldn't have hit you… Just stop crying…"Sasori blushed…
"snort I'm nowt cywing…snort… I tink ouw broke wy wose sniff"
Sasori dropkicked him in the head "Don't try to gain my pity through fake tears!" Sasori angrily stormed off…
Deidara soon learned his nose was not in fact broken as he cleaned up its bloody mess…
"Shit that hurt… Bastard Sasori, un!" Deidara ground his teeth "… This was my first time actually going into a hot spring…"
With a sigh Deidara through on his black shirt and slowly walked to his room. As he approached his room up ahead he notice the greeter turn of in the same direction as Deidara was going…
"What the?" Deidara looked queerly up at him.
The greeter was singing a tune that struck fear into Deidara's heart.
"I'm going to get lucky to night, OH SO LUCKY…" That was the gist of it; it was in fact ten times more terrible to describe due to the greeters lack of skill, at one point Deidara had liked that song and the greeter was dangling in his hand a copy key to Deidara's room!
"Screw this!" Deidara realizing what the greeter had in mind and made a dash for it back to the hot spring.
Deidara gasped for breath leaning against a change locker… Then an idea struck him…
His lips curled into a devious smile " Well if that guy's going to be hanging around my room… then I need something to do, h'm… and there is only one other thing to do here, yeah! Heheheh…"
With this he got into his swim shorts and laughed evilly. His plan backfired as he exited the changing room… It was raining even harder… it was cold… Shivering he slipped into the hot spring that had kept some of it's heat… he waded around a little bit then suddenly he sneezed…
"Oh great, un! I got a cold! What could be worse h'm?" Deidara mumbled out loud and sneezed again… just as a bolt of lightning struck the hot spring sending sparks arching across the water and into Deidara. His sneez3e came out as something like this: "aaaaa- CHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHuuuuhmmmm nurrrrrrhhhh gaggle!
Deidara fell backwards twitching and smoking slightly…
"Am I alive?" He mumbled still dazed.
He stood up in the water looking all around him then down at his hand… A spark ran across it and he got this strange feeling of double vision as his hand slid apart with another hand… Sneezing again Deidara's vision snapped back to single objects of his hand.
"Ugh… I feel weird…" Deidara's eyes closed slightly… " I got to get to my room… get some sleep and beat this cold…"
Deidara barely made it to his room and onto his bed when he collapsed… Groaning he curled into a ball on his bed. A splay of electricity droned across his back… am I going to die? He wondered as he lost consciousness and a sliding sensation moved over his entire person…