Answer to the 30 One Shots Challenge.
Summary: A conversation between Casey and whoever you want. I did something a little different with the dialog only... I was having fun. Dasey.
Disclaimer: I in no way own anything affiliated with Life With Derek.
#26: Would you rather
"Casey,"
"Huh?"
"Truth or dare?"
"What...?"
"Did I stutter?"
"I don't trust you at all, so- truth."
"Would you rather tell Derek you love him, or have me do it?"
"Excuse me??"
"Oh yeah, I went there."
"That is ridiculous."
"No, Casey, it's re-dunk-ulous. And that's not the point. This is as easy as ones and twos. It's cake. It's gravy. Black and white. Now answer."
"Answers are not just handed to questions that are so undeserving as this. You are both morbidly insane, and Captain Inappropriate."
"I am not Captain anything. You are Captain 'avoid-the-issue-at-hand', and completely intolerable, Casey. It's one question with one answer, and you owe me at least that."
"I owe you nothing. You are on my bed, in my house, and my mother just fed you. You owe me a take-back of this question, and I demand it immediately."
"There are no take-backs in life and every chick flick we're ever watched together has taught you that. Even most the horror films, and all the 'tween movies say so."
"I am not going to pick, and you know it. Your futile attempts are both a waste of time and oxygen. Stop wasting my oxygen."
"Your tacky bamboo plant is more than making up for my oxygen use."
"My bamboo is not tacky. Only you and Derek say that. The rest of the world sees charm and luck."
"See, there you go. Derek is in every conversation you hold. You obsess. Every time you open your mouth, it's about Derek. I bet everything you say to Paul is Derek-tastic. Plus being Concern-icus about this proves everything. Just say it out loud for me."
"This is a stupid game. You're stupid, and say stupid things... and play stupid games."
"Your overflowing love for me is astounding. But even so, you're going to answer. If for no other reason than for the simple fact that you've never said it before. So I'll repeat myself until you give me what I want. Will you do it, or shall I?"
"Please. I am not in love with Derek. I am related to him. I am his sister. I hate him. And most importantly, I hate you. Get out."
"Why, so you can water your tacky bamboo plant, or so you can worship your hidden Derek Venturi Love Shrine?"
"I have nothing related to Derek in this room."
"Yeah- except for your sappy 'I-love-Derek' google eyes."
"I dislike you way more than you think I do."
"That sounds like a personal problem to me... You know what? Fine. I give. If you're going to botch the truth, then pick dare."
"Ok. I change my choice to dare."
"Sweet. I dare you to answer the effing question!!"
"That is both low, and against the rules. And bonus on sucking- 'effing' is not a word."
"You are insufferable, Casey. You can't lie anyway, let alone to me. Please. Answer."
"If I can't lie, then why even ask?"
"That statement is permissible in a court of 'this topic' as a complete admission of your love for Derek."
"I object completely. I am not lying, this topic has no official court, and I do not love Derek."
"Puh-lease, if this was opposite day, I'd accept that answer completely. However, due to the long standing dispute on which day is actually opposite day, coupled with the fact that you refuse to play along has viciously killed it. So cut the crap."
"Opposite day is Saturday, and for toddlers and liars. And don't hyphenate all your words."
"Ska-rew you. And if it's for liars then it should be your National Holiday."
"I hate it when you call me a liar."
"Casey."
"What?!
"Take a beat."
"...Take what?"
"Take a moment. Stop, take a step back. It's ok."
"What's ok? For you to call me names?"
"There are no laws except for your own about this. You are not blood relatives, and it is of no fault of your own that your parents screw. Just inconvenient."
"Thanks for that, Captain Disgusting."
"I mean it, Case. He's whacko nutso over you."
"Excuse me? Say what now?"
"He is sick and disgusting, 'make everyone else gag', high school chick flick, googly eyes in love with you."
"I can't believe you're taking it this far."
"I'm not kidding. This is so 'average teen movie' that it kills me."
"You know what? I wish you could go for just one minute without using some catchy, over the top exaggeration. It's super annoying."
"Oh, like you putting 'Captain' in front of every overly obvious and inappropriate pet name isn't?"
"That's entirely different."
"I don't even care right now. You're avoiding the topic at hand and trying to distract me."
"Please. Can we drop this one? I'm super uncomfortable with this."
"Fine. I don't even care if you cheat and ignore the rules of truth or dare entirely."
"Obviously you 'don't even care', since you've said that eight hundred times in the last 10 minutes."
"Casey, don't take your frustrations of living a lie and not admitting your true feelings to yourself out on me. I am the innocent best friend and cannot handle such misguided abuse."
"Shut up. Drop it."
"...Hey."
"Yeah, Case?"
"Truth or dare?"
"Dare, you hypocritical biotch."
"You go tell Derek I'm in... Yeah. Just go tell him."