A/N: Semi-crack. Don't take this fic too seriously because it's not meant to be taken seriously. It was just a goofy birthday present for a friend.
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An obnoxiously large part of Akari's job consists of going to meetings. They're always boring and often completely pointless, ending with nobody better informed and with no real decisions made. Budget discussions and malpractice lawsuits often take center stage. Akari hardly ever has anything to add. Circus takes care of all of the financial concerns he has with the office, and he is never the one being sued for malpractice.
Boring though they might be, he does not need Hirato to make them more exciting for him. His opinion doesn't matter, of course, and Hirato continuously makes it his goal to mess with Akari as much as possible at the meetings, even though he isn't actually there.
[At your meeting?] pops up on Akari's phone as he listens to the others drone on about where they can costs. The doctor watches the current speaker for a few seconds then glances down and quickly types out a response.
[Yes.]
Less than two seconds later, a reply comes. [Are you bored?]
[No. Budget plans are riveting.] Akari sets down his phone and takes a long drink of coffee from the mug in front of him, caffeine being the only thing keeping him alert. His phone lights up, and he glances down, lips still on the rim of the mug.
[I'm sure they are. I do hope your meeting ends quickly. I have something… special… in mind for tonight. ;) ]
Akari nearly spills scalding hot coffee on his lap but manages to maintain his composure. He sets his phone down once again without responding and decides that silence is the best response.
Fifteen minutes later, he's still in the meeting, the topic of which has somehow shifted to the difficulty of keeping the hospital operating room completely sterile. Akari has little interest in cleaning products, so he chances another look at his phone to see two messages from Hirato and one from Tsukitachi.
[Are you ignoring me?] Hirato.
[Are you ignoring Hirato, Akari-chan?] Tsukitachi.
[You're ignoring me. :( ] Hirato again.
Akari doesn't bother to respond this time either. Hirato's hurt feelings are of no concern to him. He'll doubtless have to listen to Hirato complain about his lack of response later even if he were to send a message now.
[I'll just tell you what I had in mind to do tonight then.] Akari's eyes widen and he quickly slides his phone into his pocket. Hirato is not going to mess with him when they aren't even together, damn it. He can practically hear the other man's low, sonorous voice saying the sentence aloud.
How unfair.
It's a relief when the meeting finally ends. Akari has had more than enough financial talk for one day, and he still doesn't care what products are used to sterilize his instruments as long as they are just that. Akari pushes his chair back and pulls out his phone again.
The first thing he sees is the text [Or I could show you ;) ].
The next thing he sees is a rather scandalous photo of his lover that makes his face turn scarlet. Hirato is admittedly well-endowed, and his current outfit definitely highlights that. Akari can't manage to form a complete thought. Leather? And latex, and— How did—? Where did he even get—? Is that a damn whip? I—
"Oh my god."
A voice from behind Akari makes him turn with a mortified expression. One of his co-workers, a male nurse who has worked in his unit for a few months now, is staring at him with wide eyes and a red face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-I just—" the man stutters. "I didn't know you and the captain were—"
Akari steels himself and glares daggers at the nurse in front of him. "We aren't," he growls, and the man visibly shrinks before his angry gaze.
"I'm sorry," the nurse repeats quickly with a slight bow, and he hurries from the room as quickly as his legs can carry him.
Akari sinks down into a slouch. [I'm going to kill you.] He hits send and covers his face with his hands, fairly certain that this time he will actually end the other man's life.
[I'm going to kill you.]
In his office on the 2nd Ship, still dressed—barely—in leather and latex, Hirato just smirks.