A/N: Another Alex/Olivia story. I'm still not quite sure why I am writing this pairing as much as I am. However, I'm actually enjoying it and have some ideas written on paper somewhere of an actual chapter story instead of one shots. Maybe my muses will be nice and actually let me write a chapter story for once. Of course, I am horrible at updating them and will probably let it sit in limbo for six years.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. The characters belong to NBC, Dick Wolf, Stephanie March and Mariska Hargitay. I am just a fan who is so inclined to revisit the first pairing she ever fell in love with.

Archiving: Only with the author's permission.

Sighing, you take a sip of the warm white wine, wishing you could be anywhere but at this party you feel so out of place at. Dressed in a ridiculously priced dress that will somehow find its way back into your closet never to be seen again and shoes that hurt your feet, you wish that you could be at home, curled up on your couch, away from this scene.

However, you were told (or ordered, you think drolly) by the Captain to be here. Someone had to make an appearance, and since Elliot had a standing engagement with his wife and Munch and Fin were out, you were the chosen one. You just wish you could fake a smile and pretend you were enjoying this.

The party itself wasn't what you objected to. It was a cause you believed in, but you hated dressing up, you hated pasting a smile on your face and making nice with people who wouldn't remember your name five minutes later. You loathed politics and this is why you knew you would never go farther than probably a Grade Three detective. You knew you couldn't play the politics game and never wanted too.

You sigh and put your glass down, intending on making an escape. This is not your scene, and Cragen will understand why you wanted to leave early. You wish that you would have brought a date, someone to entertain you, but you know that anyone you would have wanted to bring would have hated this party as much as you do. Before you get too far, you notice that the one person you've been avoiding has arrived.

Shit. You look around, trying to find a way out, before she can notice you. The woman that has haunted your dreams for years; the woman that you have been in love with since the day she walked into your unit. The woman who left you four years ago without a word and now is suddenly back.

You sink into the shadows, noticing how she moves through the crowd with a grace and ease that is brought upon by her upbringing. You notice the approving looks she is getting from the men and it makes your blood boil with a jealously that you didn't know you could possess. However, you know that she is way beyond your reach; why would someone with her upbringing, her political aspirations, want someone like you?

God knows you two have been to hell and back together. All the cases you two have worked on together, the Vedez shooting, her time in witness protection. Everything you've been through together and you could never quite bring yourself to tell her about the feelings you have for her. Your fights over warrants were legendary; both of you being stubborn and not willing to give an inch about anything. You secretly enjoyed riling her up; the fire in her eyes was a turn on.

The memory of her blood flowing through your hands is a memory you will never forget; that memory will haunt you until the day you die. Begging her to stay with you. Yelling for Elliot to get an ambulance; calling her sweetheart without even thinking about it. The look in her eyes as she looked at you and closed them. Hearing the words she didn't make it; going back to your apartment and lying in the darkness for hours, unable to sleep. Unable to imagine a world without her in it. Getting a phone call and meeting in a location that confused the hell out of you and Elliot. Having her walk in and you wanting to fall over.

You could imagine the fight she had with Hammond over that. You smile to yourself as you can imagine the fight she put up and Hammond backing down. Her telling you and Elliot goodbye and the look she gave you before she walked out. You telling her that her funeral was the next day. The look that crossed her face and her eyes locking onto yours as a thousand words were exchanged in that one glance.

The memories race across your mind as you stare at her from the shadows and you wish you could have the courage to go up and take her into her arms. God knows you've tried to forget her; but you knew deep in your heart, it was always her. There was no one else that could ever compare to her. You tried to be on your own; you tried dating other women; you tried dating men. None of them were her.

Sighing, you step out of the shadows and head towards the door. Before you can get very far, you hear a voice say softly behind you "Liv?"

You stop and debate for a moment to keep on walking. "Liv…please."

You turn around slowly and face her, schooling your face into a mask. "Well, hello Counselor."

She looks at you and you can see a myriad of emotions cross her face. "Detective. I'm surprised to see you here."

"Why? A low paying grunt can't be at a high class function? Even if it's a cause they believe in?" She looks like she wants to say something but instead takes a deep breath and says quietly, "You look beautiful tonight."

The retort you had ready on your lips dies on your lips as you look into her eyes. Her eyes are asking questions that you're not sure she knows that she is asking. You swallow hard and say quietly, "Thanks."

She nods and says quietly, "Well….here we are again."

You cock your head to the side and she chuckles softly, not bothering to elaborate. You notice that she looks nervous, which is unusual for her. This is the woman who has prosecuted some of the worst in humanity, and yet, standing here, she looks vulnerable, almost broken. Scared. You have to fight yourself not to reach out and take her into your arms and hold her forever. Instead, you clinch your fists at your side and say softly, "You look beautiful also."

You can see the blush start at the nape of her neck and you chuckle softly. She shoots you with the look you remember so well and says quietly, "thanks."

Silence stretches between the two of you, while not uncomfortable; you wish that you could just say what is on your mind. Instead, this is a woman who leaves you tongue tied and breathless. Suddenly, she looks at you and says, "Are you here with anyone?"

"No. You?"

She shakes your head and you can't resist saying, "What? No Trevor? No Robert?"

She opens her mouth and closes it again. "How did you know about Robert?"

"People talk, Alex. I heard through the grapevine. What I can't figure out is why you couldn't be bothered to tell me. I thought we were friends." Your heart clinches at that word but you keep your face neutral.

She sighs. "It's complicated."

"Everything is complicated with you."

She sighs and looks at you. "It was a fake engagement."

"How does one have a 'fake' engagement? There had to be some feelings there, or you wouldn't have agreed to it."

"He wasn't the one I wanted to be with. I did what I thought was right." She sighs again and looks away for a moment. "Robert was a good man, a nice man. But he wasn't the one I wanted to be with."

"Who was it then? Because the Alexandra Cabot I grew to know after a decade wouldn't have cared what people thought."

She sighs and before she can say anything, you look at her. "If you tell me it's complicated, I'm going to scream at you louder than we ever did at each other over a warrant."

She smiles slightly at that and says quietly, "Dance with me?"

You look at her, confused by the change in direction of the conversation. "Um….huh?"

"Dance with me, Liv. Please?" she says softly, pleadingly.

You know then what you've known for over a decade. You can't refuse this woman anything. You nod wordlessly and she steps closer to you wrapping her arms around your neck. You pull her closer and you relish the fact that you can hold her this close.

She looks at you and says quietly, "The reason the engagement didn't work out is because I was already in love with someone else. Someone else who had already claimed my heart and soul. However, she was always just beyond my reach."

You look at her and swallow hard, a myriad of emotions warring inside you. You close your eyes, trying hard not to let the tears fall over that are threatening. You feel her hand slide down the side of your face and you lean into her hand, wondering if this is going to be like so many of the dreams you have and wake up alone.

You feel her breath against your lips and she says softly, "It was because of you I wanted to come back and reclaim my life after Vedez tried to take away everything. It was because of you, I wanted my life back. I wanted to come back and tell you how I felt. "

Before you can answer, you feel her lips brush over yours and you whimper softly, unable to open your eyes, so afraid that this is another dream. "Alex…" you barely breathe out, wondering if you're imagining everything.

Instead of answering, she leans up again and kisses you softly and you kiss her back, this time convinced that you're dreaming. However, this feels more real than any dream you've ever been in with her. She pulls you closer and deepens the kiss and you know now that this isn't a dream. You slide your hands down her back and pull her closer. She doesn't break the kiss, and in that one kiss, a decade of frustration, of longing, of wanting is washed away. In that one kiss, you know that it's forever meant to be you and her.

She pulls back and rests her head against yours. You place your hand on the small of her back, keeping her close. "I'm tired of hiding what I feel for you. I'm tired of trying to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm tired of hiding. Mostly, I'm tired of being tired."

You look at her wordlessly and she says quietly, "I've loved you for a long time. I'm just sorry I never told you before." Before she can say anything else, you say quietly, "I tried to go on without you; but no one could ever compare to you. You were always the one for me. I could push you to the back of my mind during the day; it was the nights that were the hardest."

You see the tears form in her eyes. "You were always just beyond my reach. I couldn't come to you; I couldn't protect you. I never knew if you were alive or dead. I just hoped every night that you were safe. However, I always knew that somehow you would come back. "

Before you can finish, she claims your lips in a desperate kiss, pushing you back into the wall. You whimper softly and return the kiss. In that kiss, you can feel her desperation, the fear, the longing of the past ten years. You pull back and look into her eyes. The steely blue gaze that you're used to see now holds uncertainty, however, you can see forever in that gaze and you smile.

As she gazes at you, you realize that after everything you two have been through, that after all the stops and starts, you knew deep down, you two would be back to straighten things out. You two were meant to be together. You know, in this moment, that the only thing that matters is that you want to be with this incredible woman in your arms. That all the pain was worth it to get to this moment where you're at now.

You brush your lips across hers and say softly, "I love you too."

The brilliant smile that breaks across her face leaves no doubt in your mind how she feels about you. In that moment, you'll say the words a hundred more times just to see that smile, to wipe away the sadness that may come into her life. You know that life isn't perfect; however, maybe, just maybe, the two of you can finally make your own happiness.