A one-shot focussing on Jeanie and Berger post-Claude.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property James Rado, Gerome Ragni and Galt MacDermot. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Jeanie raised a hand to her cheek. It felt that funny kind of numb... She let her eyes drift slowly from left to right, taking in her surroundings. People rushed past her at a dizzying pace, some offering her disgusted looks, others ignoring her very presence. It was fair to say that she was more than slightly disorientated and just a little bit intoxicated. She struggled to keep her head up as it felt increasingly like a dead weight but she carried on shuffling down the sidewalk, narrowly avoiding crashing into the other New Yorkers travelling in the opposite direction. She clutched onto her long dress, hoisting it up just enough to keep it clear of her feet to prevent her from tripping on the hem and tumbling face-first into the concrete below.
"Oh dear..." She mumbled, incoherently to herself. That last drink had been one too many and had tipped her over the edge, from being pleasantly drunk to stupidly inebriated. That was her problem at the moment; knowing when to draw the line. Her dependency on alcohol and drugs was reaching an excessive level and for the last few months her poor baby daughter had spent more time in Crissy's care than her own. It broke her heart but it was the only way she could manage to escape the grief that followed her like a dark cumulous storm cloud.
Jeanie stumbled onward. She should've been heading for Crissy's apartment but instead found herself drawn in completely the opposite direction, towards Central Park. Fortunately she was safe in the knowledge that her little girl was in good hands and felt free to pursue her instinct. Crissy had been her constant throughout the last year, offering infinite amounts of support as well as empathizing with her need to mourn the loss of their friend. Still though, after all this time, Jeanie had not been able to move on. When they received the news of Claude's death, it was as if a part of her had died with him. He left a gaping hole in her heart, a hole that, thus far, nothing had been able to fill. She felt overwhelming disappointment when even her own child failed to patch the wound and so she kept on searching.
It was getting late now and it had already been dark for several hours. Jeanie knew that Crissy would be getting worried but she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to keep on going. It was the height of summer, so the air was still warm even at this hour but nevertheless a shiver ran down her spine as she entered the park. She was beginning to feel tired and was tempted to turn back, particularly as the reason for her little jaunt was so unclear but when she eventually reached The Tribe's old haunt, everything suddenly made sense. Across the clearing, sitting cross-legged against the trunk of large tree with his head in his hands, was Berger.
Jeanie could barely remember the last time she had seen him. It had been a blur of shock and emotion and each had been so wrapped up in their own personal grief that they had simply lost one other. Since that time, neither of them had really made an effort to seek each other out, perhaps frightened of the awful feelings that might resurface. Now, as her blue eyes took him in, she immediately felt great warmth and love for the man and all she wanted to do was rush over and engulf him in a hug. She restrained herself though, not wanting to startle or, more importantly, upset him. She approached as quitely as she could, which wasn't easy given that she was still unable to walk in a straight line. She noticed that the curtain of hair masking his face was still as dark and as wild as ever but he was looking thin these days and had clearly lost some of his muscle. Distracted by his appearance, she lost concentration for a moment and released her grasp on the dress, letting it slip underneath her foot. Snapping back to her senses, she quickly tried to tug it free but ended up losing her balance and falling to her knees, putting her hands out to catch herself.
She stopped there for a moment, on all fours, trying to steady her breathing but she couldn't help the great cackle of laughter that erupted out of her mouth and into the night. As she stared down at the blades of grass beneath her, trying to regain her composure, it was as if she could feel the earth spinning on its axis and she felt the desperate need to cling on for dear life. Gradually her vision steadied, her sense of balance returned and she became aware of a presence in front of her. Jeanie lifted her gaze... there were those familiar denim-clad legs, that strong bare chest framed by the tasseled leather jacket and that face... With a gentle smile, Berger reached out to help her up. She grasped his hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. He clutched onto her shoulders to stop her from swaying, so he could get a good look at her.
They stood, studying each other's faces, for quite some time. Jeanie smiled warmly and finally broke the silence with a quiet "Hi..." Berger responded with a sincere "Hello you", before wrapping his arms around her and enveloping her in a tight hug. For the first time in a very long while, she suddenly felt safe. She rested her head against his chest and as she relished in the comfort of his warmth, she listened to his heart beating steadily. He was very much alive. He had life.
"I've missed you..." Jeanie whispered, lifting her head to look at him. He didn't respond right away, just gazed off into the distance, still holding her tightly.
For someone who had always been so jovial and quick witted, it seemed remarkably out of character for Berger to be this quiet and reserved. However, he didn't have to say a single word in order for her to understand what he was feeling; he was missing the same piece of the jigsaw she was and felt like he would never ever find it again. As she continued to look up at him, she thought of poor Sheila. Where was she? Jeanie had half expected her to be with him but she was nowhere in sight. Berger and Sheila had been quite a pair back in the day and she had imagined Claude's departure would've brought them closer together...
"What are you doing here Jeanie? It's late... you shouldn't be out here on your own."
She screwed up her face and withdrew from his embrace. "I'm fine. I can look after myself..." Her voice trailed off as she realized that wasn't strictly true, at the moment at least. "I... I don't know what I'm doing here... I just kept walking and here I am. And here you are."
At that, Berger slowly turned away from her and began to walk back towards the tree. Jeanie frowned, confused, and started after him but was stopped short when he suddenly turned over his shoulder and hissed, "Just... just go home Jeanie." Without giving her chance to reply, he continued on his way, picking up speed as if he couldn't get away from her fast enough.
"Berger!" She exclaimed, angrily. She was not going to leave things like this, not after all this time, after all that had happened. She bolted after him and grabbed his wrist to bring him to a halt. He refused to look at her, his head hung low. "Please. Please, can we talk?" He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and sighed heavily. "Okay."
Berger let himself be lead back to the tree and they sat next to each other, quietly, backs against the trunk. Jeanie breathed out slowly, feeling her stomach lurch as a result of the vast quantity of alcohol she'd consumed. Why did she keep doing this? Without turning his head, Berger sniffed then winced as he asked, "What in the hell have you been drinking Jeanie?" She let her head crash back into the tree behind her as she replied, "You mean, what haven't I been drinking!" Berger shook his head, not in disbelief but in pity, "Did it help?" Jeanie turned to look at him. "Not in the slightest..." He sighed. "How's the kid... uh... what did you call it?" Jeanie snorted and fixed her gaze on the constellations above. "I called her Joy. Joy Dawn Ryan. She's fine..." Again, Berger looked at her out of the corner of his eye, as if he was scared to make any sort of eye contact. "And you?" Another long silence as Jeanie deliberated over how to answer that one. "I don't know... I don't know what to tell you George. I'm lost..." Her tone was almost strangely jokey - she was trying to make light of things as ever. Berger didn't say anything but a small nod of his head indicated that he understood. His lack of communication was beginning to bother her though and she decided it was time to turn the tables. "What are you doing out here by yourself? Where's Sheila?" Berger clenched his jaw, as if holding back more emotion and fiddled with the cuff of his jacket as he answered her.
"We had a fight man, a stupid fight and then... she upped and left... I don't know where she went. Maybe DC or something but she obviously didn't want me to find her. She left no number, no address... nothing." He paused, voice now little more than a whisper. "It felt like she'd died too." Tears pricked at Jeanie's eyes and she hung her head in sadness. She supposed Berger and Sheila's relationship had always been a fiery, almost volatile one but this was certainly not the outcome she had expected. Sheila must of had her reasons, she was intelligent and highly compassionate after all, but poor, poor Berger. Losing Claude was bad enough but Sheila too? It all just seemed to much. A fresh crop of questions bubbled to the surface and tumbled out of Jeanie's mouth all in one go, "Why didn't you call me? Have you been alone all this time? Where are you living? What have you been doing?" He finally looked at her with those big, soulful brown eyes and she apologetically grabbed one of his hands and clutched it tightly in both of hers. "Sorry... I didn't mean to bombard you..." He finally smiled a small smile at her, seemingly amused at the outburst. "It's cool Jeanie, chill out."
After a little hesitation Berger admitted to her that, since Sheila took off, he had drifted aimlessly through life without purpose. He'd crashed on the couches and floors of friends and strangers alike, making just enough money to survive by doing odd jobs and running errands. "I didn't want to call you because I was afraid of how you'd react and I figured you probably had enough to deal with, what with... the news... and the baby. You didn't need me holding you back." Jeanie cocked her head to one side and retorted, "No, I've been doing a fine job of that all by my self! Seriously though, I've been standing still all this time while the rest of the world passes me by and I'm no closer to getting my head around what's happened. But you know something Berger? I get this feeling that maybe together we can fix this. We need to fix this."
Jeanie got to her feet, the fog in her head finally clearing enough to let her see and think straight. She tugged at Berger's hand, encouraging him to stand up too. "Don't you see? We need to reunite The Tribe! Your Tribe, Berger! Alone we are lost but together we are so much stronger." Her eyes were bright now and she felt the sudden twinge of butterflies in her stomach. Something felt right for once and Berger clearly sensed it too, as he swept her into a tight embrace and planted a kiss on her lips. "You're right! You're always right! You always know!" He exclaimed, beginning to get caught up in the idea. "I trust you Jeanie. Help me make this happen?" A grin spread across her face, "You got a deal!"
With a giggle, Jeanie suddenly began to run, arms outstretched above her head. "Come on!" She yelled over shoulder. "You're staying with me tonight!" Berger sprinted after her, catching her up in no time. They kept running, laughing all the way, until they reached the park gates. Jeanie stopped, bent double with her hands on her knees, gasping for breath. Berger draped an arm around her shoulders. "Joy Dawn Ryan, huh? He would've really liked that you know." Jeanie stood up straight, slipping an arm around his waist, still trying to catch her breath. "I'm glad you think so." And with that, the two of them set off on their walk home under the watchful eye of the full moon.