TITLE: INVADER GIR
FADE IN from black:
TITLE: FADE OUT
EXT. EARTH
EARTH is shown as a smog covered waste land, old satellites invading the atmosphere and high towers slicing through it.
PAN IN:
We pan in until we reach a giant lair, like The Pentagon this is solely named "The Irk" for its shape. The the building becomes transparent as we come closer. We go through the building and see ZIM the TALLEST peering over a vast ocean of humanoid meat bags.
INT. THE IRK
ZIM:
(snicker) Yes, Yes meat bags... (chatter) (irritated) SHUT YOUR TINY PUKE HOLES!!!
(silence)
ZIM:
Humans of Earth! (raises hands up dramatically)
Somewhere deep within the crowd a cough is heard.
ZIM looks at the first innocent human he can find and glares deep into his eyes.
CUT TO HUMAN BOY
ZIM:
(O.S.)Do you question the authority of ZIM!?
The human who looks to be about the age of five squeaks.
ZIM is only tormenting this innocent because of his alikeness to HUMAN DIB.
HUMAN BOY:
No TALLEST Z- (ZIM interrupts)
ZIM:
(O.S.) SKOODGE! Take the human away!
SKOODGE has grown since we have last seen him. He is big and brawny with muscles.
Screaming is heard as we see a head shot of ZIM laughing. The screaming fades away and ZIM calms down.
ZIM:
Now I shall present to you the most vial thing you eye sockets have ever seen. The most devious and cunning robot your mind can't even comprehend!!!! The one and only GARBAGE INFORMATION ROBOT! GIR...
Cut to curtain behind ZIM.
CROWD CHANTS "GIR" AS WE PAN UP:
A spotlight shines behind the curtain showing gargantuan silhouette of GIR.
The curtain opens and the silhouette of GIR disappears revealing a small silver and blue robot.
GIR:
(oblivious points up at ZIM) YOU GOTS TALLER ZIM!!!
ZIM:
Yes, yes, I know... BRAINS!!!
We see the BRAINS from episode "The Trial" pixelize into existence.
LEFT BRAIN:
YES?
RIGHT BRAIN:
MY?
MIDDLE BRAIN:
TALLEST?
ZIM:
(snooty) Open file 367.2215:6 on the monitor...
BRAINS:
YES....
We dolly over the audience until we see a monitor rise up right in front of the platform.
On Monitor:
TITLE: SECURITY CAM 1-441 LIVING ROOM
INT. ZIM'S HOUSE-DAY
AT AN ANGLE:
GIR sits watching some sort of monkey beast on TV. The image suddenly shifts over to ZIM at a call booth on JUDGEMENTIA.
GIR:
MONKEY?! DON'T LEAVE ME, MONKEY!!
ZIM:
(ON MONITOR) Forget the stinking monkey, GIR. The Tallest invited me to this "party," and it's dead like death.
GIR:
That's soo saaaad.
ZIM:
(ON MONITOR) Until I get back, YOU'RE in charge of the deadly orbital laser. It's simple: Just push the button.
A small pedestal raises up next to GIR. On top is a button.
GIR:
(POINTING AT BUTTON) Push the monkey?
ZIM:
(ON MONITOR) Yes, GIR... the button is a monkey.
GIR pushes the button. A window opens up on the screen and we see the DEADLY ORBITAL LASER ARRAY displayed within. It sends a glowing stream of doom at the earth.
GIR:
WOO!!
ZIM:
(ON MONITOR) See? Easy. You just keep doing that until I get back. Good work, GIR.
GIR salutes, and gives a huge thumbs up while insanely pressing the button. ZIM cuts the transmission.
The monitor has a snowy picture.
ZIM:
Now open file 367.2215:7...
On monitor: EXT. EARTH, GIR'S GIGANTIC FORTRESS – NIGHT
Back on Earth, mankind has reconstructed the planet. Everything is in GIR's image. Inside a gigantic Fortress of GIR, an open-air throning ceremony taking place atop a huge staircase. GIR sits in a throne, surrounded by gargantuan statues of himself. Humans, wearing GIR suits serve him.
HUMAN #1:
You have conquered our people with your mighty laser cannon, and we thank you. ALL HAIL OUR NEW MASTER, this... strange LUMPY LITTLE DOGGY!!
The human places a shiny medallion around GIR's neck. GIR looks pretty okay with it. He SQUEAKS approval.
The screen is snowy once more. It cuts to black and we pan out to ZIM.
ZIM:
Without GIR the world would be in ruins without GIR! Ummmm... Erm.... Uh-huh, awkward...
GIR:
I made it all better! (hugs himself and sways.)
ZIM blinks and a pedestal is raised above him with a teleprompter.
ZIM:
(reading) Robot GIR; in assistance to helping Invader ZIM to the Rank of TALLEST I award you with the Rank of INVADER, and assign you to the planet Splorch of the11th Sector. There I will monitor your progress and see if you are fit to be a full ranked Invader.
(applause)
ZIM pulls out from behind the pedestal a silver and blue PAK. Now designed to fit robots. And places it on GIR. (mechanical whirring) Spider legs poke out from GIR's PAK and he giggles with glee.
(applause) The INVADER ZIM theme song is played while ZIM and GIR laugh evilly in unison. We Pan out the same way we Panned in and the music cuts as we fade to black.
GIR:
(out of blackness) Can I gets a SuckMunky?
ACT BREAK:
FADE IN:
EXT. HOSPITAL FOR THE MENTALY INSANE-AFTERNOON
We see an old rickety bill board with a picture of a person with a similarity to JONNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC in a straight jacket. On billboard JTHM quotes "WELCOME to the Hospital for the Mentally Insane"
INT. HOSPITAL FOR THE MENTALY INSANE
Cut to Jail cell door. PAN UP till inside is visible through barred window and PAN IN through. HUMAN DIB is writhing in a straight jacket. Murmuring words and scrawling symbols on the walls with a screw in his mouth.
DIB:
They called me insane! (hysterical) I'll show them!!! (rolls on ground laughing harder)
VOICE FROM CELL NEXT TO HIM:
(New York accent) WEIRDO!
There is a crash and we turn with DIB to the door. It slams open and we see the silhouette of a girl. She steps into the light and she is revealed as TAK.
Lightning.
TAK has grown her hair is a lighter shade of purple and she is cuter. Her outfit remains similar.
TAK:
The Swollen Eyeball Network has sent for your release. Come with me.
Cut To DIB
DIB:
(delusional) The whobidy what network? (slapped by TAK)
TAK:
(O.S.) This is serious (Cut to TAK exiting the cell) Follow me.
DIB hobbles along and TAK uses her nails to cut off DIB's straight jacket it falls to tatters on the floor and reveals DIB's regular wardrobe. We dolly along as he walks. The halls are grimy and hands reach out of the barred windows in the door. DIB shudders.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT: 11TH NEBULA SPLORCH- ATMOSPHERE
We follow a ship similar to the one in episode "The Nightmare Begins" except bigger travel through space.
GIR:
(from inside ship) (singing) DOOM DOOM DOOMIE DA DOOM DOOM!!
CUT TO GIR INSIDE OF SHIP:
Just as in "Nightmare Begins" GIR is holding his toes swaying.
PAN OUT:
TALLEST ZIM is revealed cramped up leaning forward.
ZIM:
Ahhh, Splorch!
EXT. SPLORH-PURPLE PLANET WITH LIME GREEN RINGS
PAN IN AT AN ANGLE GOING AROUND PLANET:
GIR:
OO! WHATS DAT!
CUT TO ZIM:
ZIM:
(clears throat) SPLORCH!
CUT TO GIR:
GIR:
(swats air) Well that's a funny name!
We see the ship zoom past our point of view onto the planet.
ZIM stands next the ruins of the ship.
ZIM:
Crash landed again...... (shakes his head and looks down) Oooh WELL! GIR!
GIR's head pops out from underneath the foliage.
GIR:
(silliness) YESSIR! (eyes red, salutes)
ZIM:
GET IN YOUR DOG SUIT!! We need to figure out a new disguise.
GIR jumps up in the air like a superhero and the background shifts to dog bones. When he lands he lands in his dog suit the image shifts back to normal.
CUT TO ZIM:
ZIM:
Did it have to be so dramatic?
CUT TO GIR
GIR:
(dreamy) YEAH....
CUT TO BIRDS EYE VEIW OF ZIM AND GIR WALKING ALONG A STREET
ZIM:
What do you see, GIR?
GIR:
Besides madness?
ZIM:
Yeess...
GIR:
(stops and raises arms) Mongeese!
ZIM:
You mean mongoose, GIR.
GIR:
(continues walking) You're silly!
As we dolly along we see that this planet in almost opposite of Earth, Humans are the Pets and Pets are the masters.
CUT TO ZIM
ZIM:
(hits his head on lamppost) OW! (again) YEOUCH (again) SCREEEAM!! (and again just for the heck of it!) HOLY MOTHER OF POOP-TARTS!
GIR:
(O.S. Giggles)
ZIM:
Let us go home GIR I sick of this tiny puke dog FILTH!
CUT TO GIR
GIR:
Okee!
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. THE SWOLLEN EYEBALL NETWORK HEADQUARTERS
It is raining and we see the silhouettes of TAK and DIB about to walk through the entrance.
CUT TO TAK AND DIB'S HANDS PUSHING THE DOORS OPEN. PAN OUT TILL WE SEE THEIR BACKS.
DIB:
WOW!
TAK:
Newly refurbished, it's a sight ain't it?
CUT TO SECRETARY WHO HAS A HUGE ALIKENESS TO HUMAN MRS. BITTERS
DIB:
(O.S.) Mrs. Bitters?
BITTERS
(nods, looks at TAK) Name?
CUT TO TAK
TAK:
Investigator TAK
CUT TO BITTERS
BITTERS:
(Pushes a large red button and a sawtooth metal door opens) Enter!
WE PAN UP FROM THE FLOOR AND WE SEE THE OULINES OF FOUR MEN ALL WITH GLOWING RED EYES
MAN IN RIGHT MOST CENTER:
LIGHTS!!!
THE LIGHTS ARE CUT ON AND WE SEE THE FACES IN SEQUENCE FROM LEFT TO RIGHT OF DISMEBODIED HEAD, AGENT NESSIE, AGENT DARKBOOTY, AND AGENT TUNAGHOST
PAN IN REALLY FAST TO DARKBOOTY GETTING TOO CLOSE THEN PAN BACK OUT TILL NORMAL
AGENT DARKBOOTY:
Agent DIB MEMBRANE, we are in dire need of your assistance. ZIM has become Tallest of IRK and he is planning on Universe Conquest in OPERATION DOOM 3... He is currently located on planet SPLORCH. Here are the coordinates (hands a small silver jump-drive to TAK) (motions over to DISEMBOIED HEAD)
CUT TO DIB
DISEMBODIED HEAD:
(O.S.) You will be equipped with the latest gear! (what looks like a metal cylinder drops down and encases DIB there is an explosion from inside and it lifts up revealing DIB in a blue SMILEY SHIRT, torque pants and a white trench with red buckles)
DIB:
Cool! (looks over shoulder at his back) Nice...
CUT TO AGENT NESSIE
AGENT NESSIE:
A DUNE BUGY is parked for you outside, equipped with the latest future weaponry...
CUT TO AGENT TUNAGHOST
AGENT TUNAGHOST:
GOOD LUCK!
CUT TO BLACK:
ACT BREAK-POPIDDY CORN:
FADE IN FROM BLACK PLAYING ERRIE SCIENCE LAB TYPE MUSIC:
EXT. SPLORCH-NIGHT
WE PAN IN AT THE TOP OF A GIANT DOG HOUSE DOWN INTO THE GROUND AND WE SEE A LABRATORY DEEP WITHIN THE DIRT
INT. GIR'S LAB
CUT TO GIR'S DOG HEAD REALLY CLOSE AS HE SPEAKS WE PAN OUT
GIR:
(all serious) ZIM-we-have-TOO-get-TO-work! (pounds fist) (silliness) OOOH LOOK A SHINY RED BUTTON!!!!! (slams button insanely)
CUT TO ZIM SITTING AT A COMPUTER
ZIM:
It seems that the best way to learn here is something called the INTERNET....