I had never felt so ashamed in my life.
It started two days ago. I was throwing up and wanting to eat everything in sight. I went to the doctor because I hadn't even considered taking a pregnancy test – Joe and I always used protection. Then the doctor told me I was going to have a baby, and my stomach emptied itself again. I knew it wasn't Joe's. There was no way in the world, Heaven, or Hell, it could be his. The only question then, was – who was the father? I went over the events of the last month in my head because the doctor said I had only been pregnant for about a month. I couldn't remember ever having unprotected sex with Joe, even by accident. Then I remembered. The night of the party. Joe was at work, and I decided to have a few friends over. His brothers and my best friend Selena were part of the group, as well as Joe's sister – in – law, Danielle. I'd had a few drinks and was a little tipsy when I felt a hand on my waist. I turned around to find Nick, Joe's younger brother, and I relaxed – he was a good friend. Nick offered me another drink, and I took it – I then realized that he was pretty tipsy himself. I took a sip of the drink, and then a few more – my mind started getting hazy and I didn't really know what was going on. I felt a hand tugging at mine, and I followed the person who was tugging at it. The person led me upstairs and we got a little physical. And when I say a little I mean a lot. We had sex. It wasn't until later that I realized the person had been Nick.
Now I am sitting in my bathroom, crying my eyes out because I know Joe is going to hate me forever. I hear the front door open, and I try to control my sobs. Joe walks past the bathroom door a moment later, only to come back and push it open. "Dems? Baby, are you ok?" he asks me. I look up at him, tears streaming down my face. "Dems? Honey, what's wrong?" He gets on his knees next to me and wraps his arms around me comfortingly. "Joe, I can't tell you –" "Dems, baby you know you can tell me anything," he says reassuringly. I push away from him and look him in the eyes. "Joe, promise you won't leave me. Ok? Promise, no matter what, you won't leave me." He got a confused look on his face. "Dems, you know I won't. Now please tell me what is wrong? You're scaring me." I look down at the floor and hug my knees to my chest. "Joe, I'm pregnant," I whisper. I hear him take in a sharp breath and I know he's angry. However, when he speaks, his voice is calm. "How long have you been pregnant?" I sigh. "The doctor said I've been pregnant for about a month. I just found out today." He reaches out and rubs my arm slowly. "Demi, why didn't you want to tell me? This is wonderful. I know it's before we're married, but an accident can bring about wonderful things – and this, Dems – is wonderful." I shake my head slowly. "Joe, it's not yours. The baby isn't yours. You never made a mistake, you never once forgot protection, so there is no way the baby can be yours," I sob. He withdraws his hand. "So…. you cheated on me?" I sob harder. "No, Joey, no! I didn't cheat on you! It was an accident…." He laughs sarcastically. "An accident? Demetria, having sex can never be an accident." "Joe, I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! I was drunk, and so was Nick!" I clap my hand over my mouth. "Nick? As in my brother, Nick?" He asks, nearly shouting. "Joe…." He stands up and walks out without another word. I follow him. "Joe, please don't do what I think you're going to do," I plead. "I am going to KILL him!" "Joey, no! It's not his fault!" I say the words before I think about the night of the party again. The drink Nick had given me made me feel really unfocused and hazy. That never happens to me, even after a few drinks. Oh God, he put something in my drink. "What, so you're saying it's your fault?" Joe shouts at me. "Joe…. go ahead and kill Nick. But I won't be there to bail you out of jail." He looks taken aback at my response. He set down his car keys and walks towards me. I back up a little, suddenly afraid of him. I back up into the wall, and Joe stops in front of me. He punches the wall, leaving a hole. I flinch, because the punch was close to my face. His eyes are clouded and he looks like he's going to hit me. "Joey…. calm down, please," I say in a shaky voice. "You cheated on me with my brother, how the fuck and I supposed to calm down?" I place my hand on his shoulder cautiously. "Joe, I didn't cheat on you. I realized something – Nick drugged me." Joe's eyes got wide. "What?" "Well, I had a party one night while you were gone. I invited your brothers, Selena, Danielle, and some other people. I was just standing around and Nick came up and put his hand on my waist. He offered me a drink, and I took it. After a few sips I started to feel really unfocused and hazy; someone started tugging at my hand and I followed the person. I didn't really know what was going on, I was really out of it. Then I woke up around eleven, finding Nick next to me without any clothes on, and I realized what had happened – except for the drugging part…. I got dressed and I went looking for you, but you still weren't home…." I trailed off and I looked back up at Joe. His face was scrunched up while he attempted to process what I had just told him. "So, what you're saying is that my brother drugged you and then basically raped you?" he asks slowly. "Yes, Joe, that is what I'm saying," I answer quietly. He turns around and grabs his car keys, then heads out the door. "Joey?" I call after him. "I'm going to the police, Dems." It felt good for him to call me Dems again, and I smiled to myself. I knew it was the right thing for Joe to do, but I wasn't sure if he was absolutely positive about this. "Joe, are you sure you want to do this?" "Yes, Dems, I'm sure. Nick drugged you for Christ's sake! I can't just let that go," he answers. I nod slowly. "Ok, if you're sure." "Dems, come with me. You're going to have to fill out a report anyway." I got into the car and he drove off. Once the reports had been filed, the police went to Nick's house. He arrived at the police station about an hour later, and my heart ached just seeing him. He was the father of my baby, and now he was going to jail. I felt sick. I testified against Nick, but it hurt me. He was my friend, practically my brother. After he'd been convicted, I let the tears out. Joe comforts me. We go home and I lay in bed, feeling the most horrible person in the world. First I'm pregnant with a baby that is not my boyfriend's, and then I send my friend to jail. I can't believe I feel sorry for myself. I shouldn't be allowed to cry. I will my tears to stop and wipe away the ones that have already fallen onto my cheeks. I hold the tears in with difficulty until Joe comes in. "You finally stopped crying, I see," he says jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. A tear rolls down my cheek and he frowns. "Dems, why are you so upset? What Nick did was wrong, and he deserved to go to jail." "I know, Joey, but I still feel bad about it. I feel bad about everything. I'm pregnant with his baby, not yours…. and then I send my friend to jail. I'm such a horrible person!" Joe pulls me into his arms. "You're not a horrible person, baby. You getting pregnant was not your fault, and Nick is an asshole. You don't need to feel bad for either situation." I shook my head. "But if I hadn't had the party in the first place, none of that would have happened at all. Don't you get it? It is my fault." Joe rubs my back slowly. "Just because you had a party doesn't mean Nick had the right to drug you, so therefore it's his fault." "Ugh you are so frustrating!" Joe unwraps his arms from around me and lifts my chin. "Dems, why do you insist on me saying it's your fault? It's not!" I try to look down, but Joe doesn't let me. "I don't know! Because it is my fault?"
Joe hugs me close to him again. "Demi, please stop saying that," he whispers. "But it's true," I answer. "That's it," Joe says. "What's what?" I inquire curiously. "I am seriously sick of you always blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. I have told you multiple times – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!" I flinch. Joe never yells at me. He continues on without realizing that I had flinched. "I've had enough, Demetria. You don't listen! I tell you over and over that it's not your fault, yet you insist on telling me that it is. Do you like feeling guilty or something?" I shake my head. "No, of course not. But I know to admit when I'm at fault." Joe sighs. "You are not at fault here, Demetria," he growls. "Don't call me Demetria, you know I hate that," I say, getting annoyed. "Don't change the subject," he replies. I roll my eyes and get up. "Where are you going?" "I am going to Selena's so that I don't have to listen to you be stupid," I say angrily. He grabs my hand and pulls me over his knees. "Yipe!" I squeal. "I really don't want to do this Demetria, but it seems like this is the only way I can get you to listen." I really, really hate this position. Especially when it's Joe. "Joey, no! Please!" I shriek, starting to panic. "Calm down," he says quietly. I take a few deep breaths and try to do as I'm told. "Joey, please don't," I plead once I've calmed down. "Are you going to listen to me and stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault?" "Yes," I say quietly. Joe lands five quick, hard spanks on my behind. "I didn't hear you, Demetria." "Owww," I squeal, "yes I will listen to you and stop blaming myself for things that aren't my fault!" He lets me up and wipes away the few tears that had fallen during that time. I sit down next to him and bury my face in his chest. "I'm sorry, Joey." "It's okay, Dems. I forgive you." I smile to myself – it feels so good for him to be calling me that again. I really hate it when he calls me Demetria. I pull back and peck him on the lips; I stand up and go into the bathroom to wash my face. I walk back into the bedroom to find Joe turning a small box over in his hand. "Joey?" He looks up and smiles at me while stuffing the box into his jeans pocket. "Hey, don't hide that, I already saw it." He grins mischievously. I can't let you know what's in it yet," he says. "Um ok?" I say in confusion. He laughs and I change into my pajamas, then climb into bed next to him. "I love you Joey," I say while falling asleep. "I love you too, my love," Joey whispers; and then I'm asleep.
Waking up, I find Joey gone. I get up and dress myself, the go downstairs, expecting to find him making breakfast for us – it is our anniversary after all. Instead, I find him sitting on the couch watching Barney, eating a bowl of cereal. I go into the kitchen, hoping to find some breakfast already made for me, but there is none. My heart sinks. "Did he forget?" I wonder to myself. "Morning Dems," says Joe while giving me a soft kiss on the cheek. I jump a little because I hadn't known he was there. "Did you make me some breakfast?" I inquire, hoping that maybe he'd planned something special. "Um – no…. did you want me to?" he asks sheepishly. I shake my head. "No, I was just wondering, that's all…." I lie. "Oh, ok. Love you," he says. "Love you too," I reply. He walks back into the living room and silent tears spill down my face. I wipe them away and go back upstairs to play my guitar. Tears fall onto my guitar as I strum the notes to the newest song I've written – Joe hasn't even heard it yet. I don't sing because I know Joe will hear it, and then he'll come upstairs to find me crying; I really don't want him to see me cry. I decide to go for a walk so I can cry in pieces – ha ha, some joke there. I go downstairs and tell Joe I'm going out for a little while – he says ok and I slam the door behind me. I walk to Selena's house and knock on the door. "Demi, what are you doing here?" she asks when she opens the door. "What you don't want to see me?" "No, no, it's just that I thought you'd be spending the day with Joe since it's your anniversary." I sigh. "Yeah, well I don't think that's going to happen. I think he forgot. He didn't even make me breakfast this morning. He always does that for our anniversary!" I cry, letting the tears out. "Aw, Dems, come on inside and we'll talk." I nod gratefully and walk inside. We talk for about a half an hour before her boyfriend comes over. "Hey, Taylor," I say. "Dems!" he cries, and gives me a hug. "Can't…. breathe" I choke out. He laughs and sets me down. "Sorry," he says, grinning. Then he sees that my eyes are red and puffy. "What's wrong?" "Joe forgot their anniversary," Selena fills in. "What? I'm going to punch him in the face," Taylor says, balling up his hands into fists. "No, Taylor, it's okay. He'll figure it out eventually." He nods slowly and I hug them both goodbye. "See you later, guys," I call as I head out the door. I walk slowly to the park, and when I get there it's past dark. I sit on one of the swings and softly sing to myself. "Did you forget I was even alive? Did you forget everything we ever had? Did you forget, did you forget, about me? Did you regret (did you regret) ever standing by my side? Did you forget (did you forget) what we were feeling inside? Now I'm left, to forget about us…." Tears start to slide down my cheeks as I sing the chorus of my new song. "But somewhere we went wrong, we were once so strong, our love is like a song – you can't forget it." The tears are falling steadily now, and it's hard to sing the next verse. "So now I guess this is where we have to stand. Did you regret ever holding my hand? Never again, please don't forget, don't forget. We had it all, and we were just about to fall even more in love than we were before; I won't forget, I won't forget about us." The tears hinder my ability to sing the chorus a second time, and I sob quietly. "Dems?" I hear his voice calling my name, and I look up. "Joe, what are you doing here?" "I went looking for you when you didn't come home…." "Oh," I said, not being able to hide my disappointment. "Come on, let's go home." I stand up and follow him to where his car is parked and get into the passenger seat. When we get home, I walk inside and gasp. The whole house is decorated with lights and candles; there are rose petals scattered on the floor in the dining room, where a romantic dinner is set up. Tears stream down my face and I hear Joe walk up behind me. I turn and hug him tightly. "You didn't forget!" I cry in joy. "Of course I didn't, Dems. I just had to pretend that I did so you would leave and I could set everything up. It wasn't easy, believe me." I smack him in the arm. "You meanie! I was crying my eyes out all day!" "I'm sorry, Dems. But I wanted this to be super special." I turn around to face the dining room again, and Joe takes me into it, pulling out my chair for me so I can sit down. "Thank you, kind sir," I say jokingly. "You're welcome, m'lady," Joe replies with a goofy grin. We enjoy the meal and then Joe cleans up, refusing to let me help. He takes me outside to the backyard and there is a small tent set up with lights and decorations exactly like the ones at our Senior Prom. I smile. "You're incredible," I say before going into the tent. Joe smiles and turns on the boom box – the sound of the song "Mine" by Taylor Swift fills my ears. My jaw drops. This is the song we slow danced – and then kissed – to at the Prom. "May I have this dance?" Joe asks me, holding out his hand. I nod with a silly grin on my face, and he takes my hand. We move in time with the music, and I lay my head on his chest the way I did at Prom. When the song ends, I look up at him. "I believe this is where you kiss me, Mr. Jonas," I say with a grin. He shakes his head. "Sorry, no can do." I frown. "Why not?" "Because," he gets down on one knee and takes out the small box I saw last night, "I want to ask you to marry me first," he says. My eyes widen. "Demi, I love you, and I want to be with you forever, please marry me?" I feel myself nodding. "Oh my God, yes! A million times yes!" I shriek. Joe stands up and puts the ring on my finger, then pulls me close to him and kisses me passionately. "I love you, Joe," I say in content. "I love you too, Demi," he replies. This is the best night of my life; I can't wait to tell Selena! I'll tell her tomorrow, though. Right now it's just Joe, and me - and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
So what do you guys think? Should I continue it? If good reviews are written I might….
So, good? Bad? R&R please!