DISCLAIMER : Final Fantasy VII and it's contents are the property of Square Enix.
* I have yet to play Dirge of Cerberus, so there may be elements from the game missing as this story is set seventeen years after the end of VII.
CHAPTER ONE
- SUDDEN LOSS -
It was a miserable Tuesday night, and the Seventh Heaven bar was unusually quiet. The rain could be heard lashing against the windows, until the rumble of thunder drowned out all noise. The occasional flash of lightning illuminated the whole bar, which resulted in most people putting down their drinks to gaze outside.
"Just another horrible night ...," hostess Tifa muttered, wiping down the bar and watching the rain bounce off the windows. Looking over at a small group of people huddled in the corner, she smiled gently. The close group reminded her of earlier times when she and a close group of friends sat around, drinking and swapping stories. Now that she was married with two daughters and another child due in three months, those days seemed like they were in the distant past.
"Mom!"
The sound of twelve year old Lexia brought Tifa back to reality. Turning to face her daughter, she noticed the phone in Lexia's hand. Taking the phone from her daughter, Tifa walked to the end of the bar to turn down the CD player.
"Tifa, it's me ... Reno."
Surprised, Tifa replied, "You never call on business!"
"Yeah ... Um, Rude and I, we found Denzel."
"Really? Marlene told me he was going to Kalm," Tifa said, while pouring a pint for a customer who came in to escape the weather. Handing the glass over and taking the Gil, she added, "What was he doing there?"
"I dunno. But there was an, um, accident."
Walking to the hallway next to the bar, her heart pounding, Tifa sat on the stairs, whispering to Lexia to watch the bar for her. Trying to remain calm, she asked, "What happened? Is he okay?"
Reno's reply took what seem like an eternity to materialise, "No ... Well, erm, see ... Okay, here's the thing -"
"Reno! Tell me, please," Tifa insisted, growing more worried by the second.
"He's ... dead ...," Reno revealed, taking a deep breath.
Tifa felt herself go numb. Her hands began to shake violently as the tears began to well up. Her eyes burning, she let the phone fall to the floor. Reno shouting on the Tifa could be heard faintly from the receiver, but none of that mattered anymore to her. Denzel was gone, and nothing could be done to bring him back.
"I can't cry, I will not cry," Tifa said to herself, wiping away her tears. Knowing she had to go out and face the customers, she smiled bravely, pulling herself up from the stairs. Every step seemed to sap her energy, so when she got to the bar, she felt drained and that she couldn't go on.
"Mom?" Lexia asked, cleaning a lipstick-stained glass. "What's happened?"
Unable to tell her daughter the truth, Tifa replied, "We're closing the bar early tonight ... I need to close the bar ..."
Putting away the clean glass, Lexia smiled and said, "Okay."
Once the last customer finished his drink and left, waving goodnight, Tifa switched off the CD player and locked the door. Standing in the silence, Tifa tried to push the thoughts of Denzel to the back of her mind, but it was proving impossible.
"Where'd everybody go? Why are you crying?"
Tifa spun around to find eight year old Shana standing behind her, holding a plush chocobo doll and looking around the bar.
Wiping away another tear, Tifa lied, "Oh it's nothing, sweetie. I just ... decided to close early. Go watch your cartoons."
"Okay, mommy!" Shana said brightly, running back upstairs to join her sister.
Looking out the window at the rain and dull grey sky, Tifa brushed her hand over her bump, and thought about how she was going to break the news to Marlene and everyone else, unless Reno had already done so.
"Such a horrible night," Tifa said softly, letting the tears fall down her face.
Tifa awoke the next day to find her husband Rude sitting at the edge of the bed in full uniform, with shadows under his eyes. He was playing with his shades whilst watching Tifa intently.
"Morning, how you feeling?" he asked gently, his hand reaching out for his wife's.
Ignoring the gesture, Tifa wrapped the covers around her. "Tell me it was a dream."
Placing his shades on the dressing table, Rude got up and walked over to Tifa and sat down next to her. Brushing the hair from her face, Rude said, "I'm sorry hon. Reno and I -"
Tifa threw the covers off her and sat bolt upright, "Stop. Don't ... say ... it. Do not say ... it."
Shifting himself off the bed, Rude retrieved his shades. "I have to go back out, call me, you know. If you need anything."
Tifa sat still as her husband kissed her cheek and left the room. Pulling the covers back over herself, she started sobbing. All she could think of was the conversation last night with Reno, and trying to make sense of it all. While she knew she couldn't change what had happened, she wished so badly that she could.
There was a gently knock at the door, and the sound of footsteps slowly entering the room. Tifa peered out from her covers to see Marlene standing over her, looking puzzled.
"You're usually first up," she joked, lifting the cover off Tifa's face. "Rude said you wanted to talk to me."
Slowing pulling herself up, Tifa patted the empty space next to her legs, "Then you'd better sit down."
"Why? What happened?" Marlene asked, slumping down on the bed, pulling her top away from her stomach.
"Well, you know Rude was on business in Junon with Reno?" Tifa began, trying to find the courage to tell Marlene the truth.
Nodding, Marlene asked, "Did something happen to Reno?"
Shaking her head, Tifa replied, "No, actually ... They found Denzel in Junon -"
"How could they have? He told me he was going to Kalm," Marlene questioned.
"Why would he lie?" Tifa found herself asking, trying to stall the truth from being revealed.
Marlene shrugged, "I don't know. He told me he was going to visit Ty - you know, his friend that owns the new weapon store."
"Of course, Ty Londis ... Anyway, Reno and Rude -"
"We'd been arguing." Marlene interrupted, staring at her feet. "We had a really big fight, and then he told me he was going to Ty's."
Trying to process this new information, and planning the best way to approach the subject of Denzel's death, Tifa motioned for Marlene to continue.
A solitary tear ran down Marlene's face. Laughing softly, she admitted, "I told him something. Something he didn't want to hear ... and well, he told me to ... um, actually I can't really say."
"Why?" Tifa asked, trying to remain sensitive to the situation.
"It's ... private. Look, before he left I told him not to come back." Marlene sobbed, roughly wiping away her tears. Getting up from the bed, she added, "It's my fault he ran away."
Upon hearing this, Tifa suddenly found herself stuck. She had no idea how to break the news without Marlene blaming herself. Thinking hard, she began opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.
Just as Marlene headed out of the room, Lexia and Shana burst in, closely followed by Cloud. The two girls had looked as though they had spent a good long while crying, and Tifa realised Cloud had told them about Denzel in Rude's absence.
"Tifa, did you ...?" Cloud asked carefully, holding onto the distraught girls.
Tifa shook her head, which led to Cloud walking the girls out of the room. Feeling incredibly guilty for not being able to comfort her daughters, Tifa knew she had to come clean.
"Tifa, I'm pregnant," Marlene confessed, looking up at the ceiling.
This admission caught Tifa by surprise. "You're ... what?"
But Tifa never got a reply, as Marlene made a swift exit. Realising she had to go after her, Tifa hastened to slip on a pair of shoes and a coat as she ran down the stairs. However, Cloud stopped her as she reached the bottom.
"Tifa, let her grieve her own way," Cloud reasoned, standing right in front of her.
Exasperated, Tifa cried, "I haven't told her yet! She told me she's pregnant and that she and Denzel had been fighting. Then she ran! I gotta go after her!"
Cloud held his hands up and allowed Tifa to run past him and out of the bar. The street was lined with people going about their daily business, and the heavy traffic didn't make searching for Marlene any easier.
Clutching her bump, Tifa felt a wave of morning sickness, but decided she wouldn't let that stop her. Slipping into a nearby lane, Tifa tried to throw up as quietly as she could to avoid drawing attention to herself.
Once she was sure she wouldn't throw up again, Tifa hurried back onto the streets. Everytime she saw a young woman, she did a double take in case it was Marlene. After a while, her search appeared fruitless. Edge was too big a city to run around in looking for someone at six months pregnant.
"Marlene!" Tifa called out yet again, hoping to hear her voice. Deciding to call it a day, she headed off back to Seventh Heaven. Her phone began to ring as she reached the centre of the city. Taking a look at the caller's ID, she saw it was Rude and answered immediately.
"Hon it's me, Cloud told me what happened."
Overcome with emotion, Tifa burst into tears. "I can't find her!"
"It's okay, just come home."
Stomping her foot on the ground, and ignoring the attention she was recieving from concerned passers-by, she cried, "But I can't find her!"
"Look, come home," Rude urged. "You can tell her once you've calmed down."
Realising this was her only option, Tifa gave in, "Okay. I'll see you soon, I guess."
Hanging up, Tifa saw areas of brilliant blue sky pushing through the thick veil of grey. A few rays of sunshine were radiating across the city, reflecting off of windows and vehicles. Admiring the sight, Tifa was saddened to realise that Denzel would never see this again.
Walking through the door to the bar, Tifa was surprised to be met with a small group consisting of Cloud, Rude, Reno and Lyra Wallace, Barret's second wife. Preparing to run back outside, Tifa was stopped when Lyra swiftly held onto her wrist and directed her upstairs to the family room and sat her down on the sofa.
"You need to sit down, dear," Lyra urged kindly, taking a glass of water from Rude and handing it to Tifa.
Taking a sip, Tifa looked around the room. "Where's the girls?"
"I took them to Cid's house, I figured the company from the twins would do them some good," Cloud answered, sitting next to Tifa, with Rude sitting down at her other side.
Nodding gently, Tifa turned to Rude, "I thought you had to work?"
Holding his wife's hand, Rude replied, "Rufus gave us the day off, Tseng's covering for us."
"I see ..." Tifa said, looking outside. The blue patches were becoming more prominent, letting in more sunlight.
"Barret's flying over from Corel," Lyra began. "He told me to tell you he's sorry and that he'll be home to see you and Marlene soon."
Again, Tifa nodded. "Uh huh ..."
"You can't keep it all in," Rude said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You need to feel your loss, and release the emotions within and -"
Rude stopped when he saw everyone was staring at him. Blushing, Rude muttered something about a childhood therapist and pouring himself a scotch. Reno helped himself to a scotch, quickly downing it before pouring another.
"You seem on edge, Reno," Cloud noted.
"He's fine, just a little shook up," Rude interrupted, drinking a mouthful of scotch.
Cloud watched Reno, who looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. "If you say so."
"It's not my loss ... well, not really," Tifa muttered softly, looking down at the carpet.
"Hey, Tifa. You took him in, you helped raise him. You're entitled to feel loss," Lyra stated, sounding like Rude.
Shaking her head, Tifa whispered, "But ... I'm not the one carrying his child. I wasn't planning my future with him."
"Hon ..." Rude began, but he was unable to find the words. Instead, he gave her a cuddle before finishing his scotch. "Can I get anyone a scotch?"
Reno handed his empty glass over to be refilled again while everyone else politely declined.
"Reno, tell me what happened," Tifa commanded, making direct eye contact with him.
"Tifa, leave it just now. Please, hon?" Rude asked politely as he could.
"No, I want to know," Tifa insisted, slamming her fist on the coffee table. "No ... I need to know. Marlene would want to know."
Rude admitted defeat, "Sorry, I just didn't want to upset you any more."
Tifa smiled weakly, "Thank you."
Clearing his throat, Reno reluctantly began to divulge the details of Denzel's death. "Well, what is it you'd like to know?"
"Everything," Tifa answered swiftly.
Finishing off his drink, Reno looked at the grief-stricken woman, and decided telling her was his only option. Pulling up an armchair, he slid into it, preparing himself.
"Whenever you're ready," Rude insisted.
"Okay ... well, you know that Rude and I were in Junon on business ahead of Rufus's visit with the WRO?" Reno started, trying to buy himself some time.
"Yes," Cloud replied curtly, in order to get Reno to move on with the story.
"Okay ..." Reno gulped. "Right, I can't go into too much detail, because ... you know, Rufus has these rules and stuff."
Tifa opened her mouth to protest, but Rude gently squeezed her hand, which meant don't do it.
"We were informed of an intruder," Reno continued. "They were allegedly searching though private files. You know, highly confidential documents only the highest powers have access to -"
"So they think this intruder was Denzel?" Lyra quizzed, pouring herself a straight vodka. "Did they say anything about the man?"
"We didn't know who it was. Male or female. We were ordered to investigate, and capture the intruder before security got to him."
"Yeah, if security were to find him then -" Rude began, but was interrupted by Cloud.
"- Then they would kill him on the spot. Company rules."
"Exactly," Reno nodded, gaining some form of confidence to continue. "The intruder was supposedly in the Junon headquarters, so Rude and I had to sneak past security, which wasn't easy. It was in total lockdown."
"You got there too late, didn't you?" Tifa asked, afraid of what the answer would be.
"See, here's the thing. We came across a body - Denzel's."
Tifa found herself crying at the mention of Denzel's name. Reaching for a tissue, she gestured for Reno to go on.
"They had left him there. But there was no sign of anything to prove he had been going through the files, nothing on him that put him in the frame. He was simply shot, and left to die, regardless of what he was doing there." Reno finished solemnly, gulping down more scotch.
"You've had enough," Cloud stated, grabbing the glass out of Reno's quivering hands. "Was he already dead when you -"
"- Found him? Yep." Reno finished, in a somewhat drunken manner. "Maybe I've had too much scotch ..."
"This isn't fair!" Tifa cried, standing up. "He didn't do anything wrong!"
Reno held his head in his hands as Rude tried to explain to Tifa about the nature of the Junon Security Division.
"They follow strict orders - any threats must be eliminated at once. It's just how they work."
Filled with rage, Tifa couldn't hide her feelings. "This is exactly why I hated Shinra in the first place! All this death ... innocent lives lost. It's not worth it!"
Rude and Reno both shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
"This is awful, truly ..." Lyra murmured as she opened a text message. "It's Barret, he's almost across the ocean."
Cloud grabbed himself a bottle of beer and raised up. Lyra did the same with vodka, as did Rude with his scotch.
"To Denzel," they chorused.
"No offense Cloud, but you're probably the best one to talk about grief," Reno assumed, who was drinking yet more scotch. "I mean, your parents are dead, right? Then there was Zack, and the Ancient ... and now Honor."
"Of course, dead parents, dead friends, and the dead wife. I am the King of Grief! Thanks for that Reno," Cloud retorted, throwing half a biscuit at him.
"Man, how did you get a twenty five year old model in the first place?" Reno asked. "She was fine ..."
"Reno, shut up," Cloud groaned.
"I hope Marlene comes back soon, looks like another storm tonight," Lyra said to herself, checking the weather channel on TV.
"Did any of you know she was pregnant?" Cloud asked, opening another beer.
The whole room shook their heads, whereas Reno simply passed out.
"Thank God for that," Cloud joked, noticing Reno slumped across the armchair.
"She can't have been that far along, she had to have just told him if he left last Friday," Tifa said, picking at a few biscuit crumbs on the coffee table.
The room remained quiet apart from the TV, where the weather girl confirmed another storm was headed for Edge, which would fade as it nears Kalm and the east. No-one felt like speaking, it was a time for reflection. Except for Tifa, who was preparing for the conversation she would need to have with Marlene as soon as possible.
There was a sudden banging coming from downstairs. Cloud raced downstairs, beer in hand, as the banging got louder and nearer. Everyone stared at the door and waited with baited breath. A few moments later, the door was thrust open, with Marlene standing there, looking devastated yet full of anger.
Pointing a finger at Tifa, she screamed, "You fucking bitch! Why didn't you tell me?"
Trembling, Tifa began to apologise, "M-Marlene, I-I can explain -"
"NO!" Marlene barked, marching over to Tifa who was now cowering into Rude. "You never said a word! I had to find out from Shera! Do you even know how mortifying that was?"
Tifa jumped up, arms outsretched, but Marlene violently brushed them aside. "I was g-g-gonna tell -"
"I don't want to hear it Tifa! You don't talk to me ... EVER!" Marlene screamed, backing away from Tifa and now Cloud who had just reappeared. "Stay away from me!"
Tifa felt helpless as she watched Marlene storm from the room, slamming the door off it's hinges. Her's whole body shaking, she collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Rude rushed to comfort her, even though he knew it wouldn't make much of a difference.
"I need to phone Barret," Lyra said with some urgency, as she dialled a number on her phone and walked out of the room.
Pointing at Reno, who was still unconscious, Cloud asked, "What're we gonna do?"
"Leave him," Rude sighed. He tried to get Tifa to stand up, but she kept pulling away from him.
Through the tears, Tifa whispered, "I'm sorry ..."