It's Always Calm Before The Storm
She constantly checked her phone for any new messages. Then her twitter. Then her mail. Then again her messages. Nothing. No news.
He had said he'd tell her as soon as he and Alexis were in safety. But it had been hours since she last had talked to him.
And the worst part was that she couldn't do anything but to sit and wait. Because she was in New York and he was in Paris. And his daughter was still missing.
Martha offered her coffee every half an hour. Kate declined every time. Coffee would only make everything worse. She just wanted to sit there on his couch, her phone in her hand, waiting for him to call.
Gates had told her to go home at 3 PM when she had noticed that Kate was of no use for her in that stage. Did she know about them? To be honest, Kate didn't even care.
All she wanted was for his daughter to be okay so he could smile again. She had never seen him like this before. Broken. Like a fish out of water. Helpless. Desperate. Frightened. Unable to think clearly.
It was so stupid but that wasn't anything new for him. Why on earth would he jump on a plane in the middle of the night to go to Paris? Without saying goodbye - nor to her, nor to Martha?
Deep down, she knew. She just couldn't understand how he could switch from a 9-year-old on a sugar rush to a fully grown lioness protecting her cubs that fast. The thing he had done to Douglass Stevens? In that moment she had been sure she had been in the wrong movie.
But now, she could kind of understand what he was going through. She knew what it was like to worry about someone she loved, not knowing if he would ever be alright again, if he would ever come home.
Her mind produced worst case scenarios, him tortured, him held captive with a knife on his throat, him suffering, him dead. She couldn't stop those pictures from running through her head. That was why she couldn't move and why she didn't let go of her phone.
That was also why she couldn't believe it when it finally started to ring. Martha must have heard the sound because Kate could hear her running down the stairs and then she could see Martha standing next to her.
Kate could only stare at the phone – she didn't dare to answer it.
"Aren't you going to pick up?" Martha asked.
"I'm scared," Kate whispered. "What if it's bad news?"
The older woman gently took the still ringing phone out of her hand. Taking a deep breath she answered the phone, putting it on speaker.
"Hello?"
Relief lightened up Kate's face as she heard his familiar voice on the other side of the line:
"Mother? Why are you answering Kate's phone? Is she alright?"
That was so typical of him. Caring about her when all she wanted was some news about his situation.
"I'm fine, Castle", she said. "The phone is on speaker."
"Richard, where are you? Where is Alexis?"
Castle sighed.
"I'm at the airport. Alexis is sleeping next to me. Don't worry. I'm not letting her out of my sight again."
The last bit sounded more like a promise to himself than to the two women sitting in his apartment.
A stone as big as the Mount Everest was lifted of Kate's shoulders. Alexis was alright. Everything was going to be fine. She wouldn't have to bear a childless Castle, who would have probably never been happy again.
"Why didn't you call earlier?" she asked.
Castle, sitting in Paris, hesitated. He looked at the man next to him who was shaking his head. 'Wait' is his silent answer.
"Look, Kate, I'll explain everything once I'm back in New York."
"We'll meet you at the airport", Martha offered. She, just like Kate, had understood that they weren't going get any answers now.
"Alright. But please, don't bring anyone else." he confirmed the offer.
Kate looked at Martha who answered for both of them: "Okay. It'll be just the two of us."
Castle gave them the details about his flight and then hung up – too soon for their taste.
Martha put the phone down and pulled Kate in one of her bone-crushing hugs.
"She is okay", she murmured over and over again. Kate, unable to do anything else, just hugged her back. They sat like that for what felt like an hour but only minutes had passed when Martha pulled back.
"I'm going to bed. Now that I know my Alexis is alright, all I want to do is sleep and forget about everything."
Kate nodded, got up and walked to the door. Martha looked puzzled.
"What are you doing, Kate?" Martha asked.
Kate pointed towards the closet. "I'm getting my coat. It's still pretty cold outside."
"Yes, I can see that. What I meant was, what do you think you're doing? Leaving?"
Kate opened her mouth to say something but then hesitated. She really didn't want to leave but it would also feel wrong to use his bed without him being there. She had never done it and she also wasn't sure if he would want that. Martha guessed her thoughts, just like she had done so many times before.
"I'm sure he won't mind you sleeping in his bed. It's almost also yours, anyway. Now go and sleep. You need it."
Martha walked up the stairs and Kate went into his bedroom. She pulled out one of his old shirts, quickly changed and removed her make-up and then crawled under the blanket. The bed felt too big without him in it. But everything smelled like him and surrounded by his scent, she was finally able to sleep.
The next morning, she woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. Her first instinct was to stay in bed and wait for Castle to bring her a cup but then she remembered: he wasn't there. He was still on the plane.
She left the bedroom and joined Martha in the kitchen. They were both silent, still exhausted from the previous day. The night, too, to be fair. It wasn't until Kate put her empty coffee mug in the sink that Martha broke the silence.
"I asked for a taxi for 8.30, so you still have 20 minutes to get ready."
Kate nodded and returned to the bedroom. She put on her clothes from previous day and didn't care that they're wrinkled.
20 minutes later, she was sitting in a cab next to Martha on the way to the airport. Everything seemed like in a dream; she was standing with Martha in a crowd of people, waiting for Castle and Alexis to appear. A small part in her brain still didn't believe it was over.
It wasn't until she saw them behind the barrier that she smiled for the first time in days. And it wasn't until he hugged his mother that she sighed out of relief.
She stood next to them, watching and waiting for them to finish and was a bit surprised when he came to her right after letting go of his daughter's hand which was now held by Martha. He didn't say anything, he just held her tight and all she could do was hug him back even tighter. She loved the hugs the Castle-family gave. They always had a meaning. This one said "Thank you for being here."
And when he let go of her, too soon to be honest, she could see in his eyes that something had changed in France. She couldn't really say what had changed but something was different. That had to be the thing he wanted to talk about.
She gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek and turned to Alexis, who had just let go of her grandmother and now met Kate's eyes. Kate smiled at her and again was surprised when Alexis almost threw herself into Kate's arms.
Oh the Castles. They had managed to invade Kate's life and, most importantly, her heart and there was nothing she could do about it. It seemed like she was stuck with them forever.
Suddenly, she noticed that it wasn't a bad thought at all. It was more like she was looking forward to that. Kate smiled. She would do anything to achieve that.
Then she handed Alexis back to her father and looked at their surroundings. Not that she was expecting the kidnappers to appear out of nowhere, but it was a cop-habit she couldn't pull it off. Almost no one was looking at them. They were just another family reuniting.
But one guy kept staring at them. He was standing a few feet away but couldn't stop looking at them. No, not them, she corrected herself. Castle.
Kate took a closer look. The guy looked strangely familiar. Not that she had ever seen him before. On the contrary, she was pretty sure she hadn't met him before. Still, there was something about his face, some similarities… It was when she looked into Castle's face that she made the connection.
No. That couldn't be.
It was impossible.
"Rick?" she asked quietly.
"Hm?" He looked up, still holding Alexis.
"Who…" She hesitated. What if she was wrong?
"Castle, who is the man over there?"
Castle knew who she was talking about and she could see that. He kept his eyes on the floor as he answered: "It's not the right time to talk about this."
Kate frowned. She suddenly had to think about what Meredith had said before she had left. Of course, she knew it had been just a joke but something about it was true. He didn't answer questions about the one thing.
"Castle, you don't get to do this", she said. "Not to me. I want to know who that man is."
"If you're asking like that you must already know, don't you, Kate?"
"It doesn't matter if I do. I want you to say it."
Castle sighed, then leaned closer to her ear so no one except her could hear it.
"That is CIA Agent Alexander Richards. That's all you need to know for now. I will tell you later. I promise."
Alexander Richards… Kate almost started to laugh. It couldn't be a coincidence. But then, she thought, Martha was so much better than that. Maybe she hadn't known his name and it had been intuition that made her name her son Richard Alexander. She decided to ask Martha about that one day.
Their ride back to the loft was quiet and only Kate noticed the cab following them. 'Later', she kept telling herself. She only hoped later was soon.
At the loft Martha immediately took Alexis upstairs and Castle activated the security system.
He obviously still suffered from the experience of the past few days because the only time she had seen him activate had been during the Nikki-Heat-case.
She pretended not to notice it and walked into his study, knowing that this was the place he would want to talk. And she was right. Five minutes later he walked into the room, two cups of coffee in his hands. She put the one he was offering her on his desk and looked at him, waiting for him to start talking.
He took his time with the coffee, which almost drove her crazy. But she had never seen him like this so she decided to wait.
Finally, he set his cup down and pointed at a chair. She sat down, watched him do the same and waited again. It felt like an eternity until he finally started talking, his voice surprisingly steady.
"I don't know if you can imagine how it is to meet someone you've dreamed about your entire life. It's so different from what one can imagine, I can assure you that. Every move, every look, every word is important in that moment. And there are a thousand questions in your head, none of them the right one for that very moment. The worst thing is when you don't have enough time. When you need to trust that person in order to save your daughter's life, no matter what."
Castle paused, probably remembering that moment.
Kate used the silence to push her chair closer to him, so close that she could take his hand to encourage him to keep talking. He squeezed her hand and even smiled a bit.
"I'm not sure if I even want to get to know him, if I can trust him when there's no immediate danger to someone I love."
At that point, he looked her in the eyes to make her understand he was counting her to those people. She nodded, letting him know that she understood.
"And I guess that what I needed the most was time. Time to think about everything. To process what had happened because at that moment there was no going back. No pretending that he was a spy or an astronaut or a pirate."
Kate chuckled. A pirate. That sounded so like him.
But then, he took both her hands and she was even more silent then before.
"And please believe me when I say that I need you with me on this one. To spin theories with me and bring me back down to the ground if I go too far. To face this with me. To bring this to an end. I can only do it with you by my side. We can only do it together."
Kate didn't wait any longer to kiss him. She didn't care if he still had something left to say. She didn't really know what she wanted to say with this kiss. I love you? Thank you? I'm here? Always?
But that didn't matter because he kissed her back with the passion she knew too well and suddenly, she was sitting on his lap, his hands at her back. She didn't want it to stop.
They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Kate pulled back from the kiss and looked at him. He nodded, answering her silent question and they both stood up.
"Should I wait in here?" Kate asked, fixing her top.
"No", he answered. "You're coming with me."
He took her hand and they made their way towards his door. Martha and Alexis hadn't heard the knock - the water was still running. Kate squeezed Castle's hand as he opened the door to a man with bright blue eyes.
"Kate, I would like to introduce you to CIA Agent Alexander Richards."
And even though there was still a lot to learn, there was a hint of pride in his voice as he added:
"He is my father."
A/N: Thank you for reading my very first Castle fanfic! I'd love to hear what you thought about it, so please review, favourite and follow!
Also - huge thank you to my more-than-awesome beta, alwaysx4! Without you, this story would be only half as good, everyone should have a beta like you!