AN: Naturally, this was inspired by something on Tumblr. In this case, something Anna (regular-lord-joesus) said.
If you asked Kurt to make a list of the things he was doing, it would be simple. He was sitting in French class, tapping his pencil mindlessly against his book. He was spacing out, he was semi-learning vocabulary, he was living. He was breathing, and blinking, and he was fairly sure in about ten seconds, he would be digesting.
Make that six seconds. Kurt shifted, allowing his arm to muffle the grumble from the pitiful breakfast he'd managed to grab this morning.
But if you asked Kurt to make a list of the things he was not doing, it was even simpler. He wasn't speaking, or dancing. He wasn't jumping out of an airplane, he wasn't chewing gum, he wasn't saving starving children in Africa. The list could go on, as anyone else could do as well. Kurt Hummel wasn't doing a lot of things.
And he certainly wasn't crushing on David Karofsky.
Of course, that would only add yet another thing to his first list: he was lying.
He hadn't entirely noticed it at first. Attraction, maybe, because like many others, Dave was someone Kurt found attractive. Regardless, most of that had been brushed aside as the boy was basically a jackass to Kurt for the past few months of his life. But he couldn't deny that Dave was good looking, in the least.
Yet because of "Karofsky's" horrible attitude problem, that was lost to Kurt. So naturally, when Kurt busted through the locker room doors, taken aback by the sheer onslaught of a deep red, he wasn't in the best mood.
Now, he'd never studied the subject as a whole, but Kurt was fairly certain red was not a colour of peace. Warmth, maybe, if his inner interior design snob had much say. But it was a colour of warning, and looking back on it, it's hard for Kurt to not laugh at the irony of it. But at the time, all it did was enrage Kurt further. His heart rate had increased significantly and he'd always been curious as to why he didn't spout out more obscenities.
But naturally, he'd insulted Karofsky. He couldn't remember specifics, as the rant was produced by nothing more than extreme frustration and adrenaline levels. But he'd known he'd taken a stab at Karofsky's appearance. Of course he did; if you asked anyone, Kurt's first instinct into tearing people down was on their appearance. He knew that, as well. And frankly, it was an awful habit. It was the average person's weak point, and any strike at it could send them hurtling down.
So as Kurt had yelled at Karofsky, completely unaware of what would happen in the seconds following, and the deep red of the lockers in his peripherals, he tore him down. Chubby, sweaty, ugly. "Not my type." Anything he could do to tear the bully down.
Kurt can't go into the locker room without seeing the red, seeing the scene play out. Feeling guilty.
Lettermans, too, had become an item of warning. It was horrible, having to walk through the halls, and be aware of his surroundings constantly. And it certainly didn't help that a good ten percent of the school donned the heavy jacket, leaving Kurt to flinch as he made his way around corners.
He'd never liked the jackets much in the first place. As vintage and classic as the letterman was, Kurt saw it as tacky. he was never fond of the thick look of them, and was even more put off by the fact that it added a good ten to twenty pounds to the average jock.
Kurt was even more confused as to the fact that the school had decided to use red and… some form of yellow. He thought it had been white, at first, only dirtied up by the use of it. But upon closer inspection, it was in fact yellow, which honestly made no sense, considering the school's colours were red and white.
So now, a combination of colours used largely in convincing people they were hungry became a "yield" sign for Kurt. He'd found himself jumping if a Glee member came up behind him, or drew his attention when someone would pass a classroom. At that point, he was certain he'd begun to hate the jacket more than Karofsky himself.
Kurt remembered the week of his father and Carole's wedding, and how he'd felt.
At first, he was scared, terrified. Karofsky had threatened his life the week prior, and Kurt could do nothing other than attempt to get the boy expelled. But he'd felt useless. He did nothing but sit rigid, and he stared wide eyed on at the others in the room. He'd felt that if he said something out of line, Karofsky would throw himself across the room, and snap Kurt's neck right then and there.
So in the office, he had just sat helplessly. That is, until he noted Karofsky holding his letterman.
Naturally, his mind had clicked, and told him to turn tail and run. But Kurt had ignored it. He watched as their respective fathers bantered back and forth, but his eyes had kept being drawn back to the horribly cheap-looking burgundy felt. Karofsky had been clutching it for dear life. It was then that Kurt really recognized it as a safety blanket. The jock had been wearing it to hide, and to blend in. As much as it stood out to Kurt, the letterman was a sense of belonging in the school. It had made him feel powerful. But he'd taken it off, and it was then that Kurt first realized how normal David really was.
Then he covered for Karofsky.
Looking back, Kurt could have ruined the boy's life there. He could have outed him, called him out for what he really was: a coward. But he didn't. Kurt knew he never would have, but he could. And yet, the thought didn't cross his mind then.
When Kurt tore his eyes from the red under Karofsky's arms, his eyes had latched onto the boys immediately. And in that moment, the thought never crossed his mind. Instead, he'd been fumbling for a cover. No getting back at the bully, no revenge. He was protecting David, and he didn't give any thought to why he did.
Their eye contact had broken, and Kurt had dropped his gaze again to the jacket, which wasn't something Kurt feared anymore.
Then, there had been the first time Kurt had really returned to the school. It had been nearly five months since he'd left. In that time, he'd started dating Blaine, which was something he'd honestly never expected, regarding Blaine's behavior previously.
Anyway, he had been invited to the glee club's fundraiser, so he'd returned to the McKinley halls. Yet unfortunately, the tour Kurt had been giving his boyfriend was quickly stopped in his tracks.
Kurt remembered Karofsky's voice, as it was something he understandably could not have forgotten anyway. And it was something that had suddenly become very frustrating.
After all, he had been near gone in Kurt's mind for the months he had been at Dalton. Only occasionally did the bully ever cross his mind and when he did, Kurt had pushed it aside. So when Kurt turned around, of course he immediately shot daggers at the bully. And of course, he was immediately triggered by the equally as cheap red of the hoodie he adjourned.
Nevermind the way Kurt had noted and corrected his gaze regarding Karofsky's bare arms.
Kurt had been furious, and only then had he really craved the need for revenge. He'd gone so long feeling at peace, and then the second he had come back, all of that wall had been torn back down. He wanted nothing more than to just launch himself at the boy, tearing through that red safety net like it was tissue. Even now, he understood his reaction. He wanted nothing to do with Karofsky.
Only when Santana came up behind them had Kurt backpedaled with his train of thoughts. And again, he'd caught Karofsky's eyes, and again, his first reaction had been to defend David.