Lonely

Disclaimer: Don't own Shaman King or the poem.

Joh: Yay angst.

Dedicated to ChibiItachi-chan or izumikonata (I think you changed your pen name? I'm just going with the one on your profile.) Anyway, she wrote this amazing poem and requested I write a fanfic about it! So here you go! I had fun writing this so I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: Twincestish, violence kinda, death, gloom and doom

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You promised me forever.
You promised all eternity.
You vowed never to leave me all alone with my memories again.

You were my inspiration
My bulwark
My warmth.
You were a strong pillar,
The support I could lean upon.

The promise you broke.
The vow you could not keep.

You were the one being
That made my cursed eternal life bearable

My inspiration dissipated.
My bulwark shattered.
My warmth leeched away.
The pillar fallen.
The support nevermore.

Here I am now.

Cold.

Alone.

Motionless.

Doomed to live this way forever.

Were you tired of me?
No longer wanted me?
Hated me?
You know how I am
And what I am now doomed to.
So why?

I lie here weeping,
My tears unstoppable,
Carving rivers of grief down my pain-stricken face.

But I will never leave you.
I promise forever.
I promise eternity.
I promise never to leave you alone, ever.

I will forever stay by your cold carcass,
Hold your hand,
Wrap my benumbed arms around you,
And wait for the hint of a spark.

Here I will stay forever.
Never growing.
Never going.
Never dead.
Never alive.

But I was a fool to thing that you would stay.

- ChibiItachi-chan

Truly, it was a beautiful day. The sky was as blue as ever with a few pearly white clouds that floated lazily overhead. The trees were whispering and sighing in the wind in tune with the small river with its shimmering water.

The only thing that seemed off was the faint trace of blood in the air.

Two young boys were sitting under the tallest tree in the meadow, one of them leaning against the chest of the other. From far away it looked like they were merely relaxing and enjoying the beauty around them, but upon closer inspection one would find the steady stream of blood coming from the short-haired boy's torso, staining his white shirt crimson.

The other boy had his arms wrapped tightly around the waist of the bleeding brunet, face buried in his choppy hair. "You promised, Yoh." He was whispering, fingers curling.

Yoh tilted his head back, glazed over eyes narrowing as he struggled to speak. "I didn't know this would happen." He murmured, his voice barely audible over the rushing water.

None of them had. It had been one of Hao's more foolish followers that had attacked Yoh and stabbed him. Perhaps the attack had been inspired because of the attention Hao seemed to treat Yoh to, or simply because the shaman believed he was doing what Hao wanted.

The longhaired shaman scowled at that thought. He had always made it clear to his followers to never hurt Yoh.

Well, Hao had taken care of the one who had dared to lay a hand on Yoh, but that didn't change the fact that his brother was now dying in his arms.

A strange numbness seemed to invade Hao's senses as he gazed down at his twin slowly growing paler under the warm sun. This wasn't supposed to happen. He had planned their futures out so carefully, and now it was being slowly and painfully ripped away.

Hao closed his eyes, his grasp on Yoh tightening. With Yoh he had finally gotten a taste of true happiness, something he hadn't felt in literally in a hundred or so years. But it had been snatched away from him and was now trickling away in the form of the blood dripping down onto the bright green blades of grass beneath them.

"I'm sorry, Hao… I'm sorry…" Yoh trailed off, weakly brushing his fingers over the fabric of Hao's baggy pants.

Hao grasped Yoh's trembling hand in his own, holding it tightly without saying a word. He was listening to his brother's heartbeat, slowly, slowly fading.

As Yoh stared up at him Hao felt the need to say something, anything. He wanted to say that he was sorry. He wanted to say anything but good bye.

"You idiot…" Hao closed his eyes, lips pursing as he bowed his head forward. And for the first time, in a long time, Hao Asakura cried. Silently, tears trailed down his cheeks leaving glistening trails in their wake.

Yoh was smiling, gently, sadly. "It doesn't hurt anymore." Yoh said softly, referring to the wound draining him slowly.

As Yoh's eyes slid shut for the last time, a cold realization swept through Hao. Yoh's heart beat had slowed to a stop, leaving behind an empty silence.

The fire shaman slowly unlaced their fingers, trailing his hand across Yoh's cheek. Maybe Hao didn't deserve happiness. Maybe that was why Yoh had been so cruelly ripped away from him.

His laugh, his smile, his frown, his tears. They were all gone. Hao gently slid away from Yoh, lying him down in the grass with his pale hands folded neatly over his chest.

Hao studied his twin's face for a moment, before reaching down to pull Yoh's sword free from his belt. He stared at the weapon, eyes narrowing as he recalled the few nights Yoh had spent sparring with him using this sword.

He drew it from the sheath, watching with a detached expression as the blade gleamed brightly under the cheery sun. He blinked away the tears clinging to his lashes and grabbed a fistful of his long hair, bringing the sword up to it. With a few swift motions he severed his long brown locks and shook his head, casting a few remaining wisps of silky stands off him to the grassy floor below.

Silently he returned the sword to its sheath and placed it in Yoh's hands, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his cheek,

"I won't forget." Hao whispered, his now short, choppy hair whipping in his face as a soft wind picked up.

As Hao watched a small leaf float down from the branches stretching over him, he wondered to himself about following Yoh. They would be together again. Just like Yoh had promised.

He shook his head, casting the thought away. Yoh wouldn't have wanted that for him. Yoh would have wanted Hao to continue living no matter what. No matter how painful it was.

He fell to his knees as he leaned over Yoh, a thoughtful expression settling over his features. No, he couldn't die yet. There was too much anger, too much overwhelming hate towards everything and everyone for taking away the one person he cared about.

He would live on and be a constant reminder to the world of his brother, so that they too would never be able to forget he younger Asakura. He would keep his hair short the way Yoh did and he would keep Yoh's memory alive.

He would continue on with this hollow life for Yoh's sake. A raw sort of anger slowly flowed through him as he thought about the curse Yoh had put upon him the moment his heart had ceased to beat. By dying, Yoh had sentenced Hao to a miserable, lonely future where he would never be truly alive or truly dead.

Hao tilted his head back as he once again got to his feet. The gentle leaves in the tree above burst into flames, showering ashes through the wind and across the meadow.

With one last, painful glance at Yoh, Hao turned and walked away, fire leaping up behind him and consuming the lush grass.

Soon, the sunny field was bathed in hungry, red flames reaching higher and higher towards the smoke filled sky. The pleasant smell of flowers and spring was washed away by the overpowering stench of ash and smoke.

The dirty wind pulled at Hao's short locks of hair as he turned to acknowledge the ruin he had made.

Yoh had abandoned him and left him with only a fleeting, beautiful, horrible smile.

If he was going to suffer this agony ripping him apart from inside, then so would everyone else. With Yoh gone, the world no longer deserved peace of any sort. The world no longer deserved anything.

Let the fires consume it all.

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Joh: Well… that uh ended on a darker note than I had meant it to.

Jessie: Indeed… were you hungry or something?

Joh: I was actually. Well happy holidays! -throws rainbows-