I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I originally intended to just have it as a one shot, but it's pretty short, so I might chapter it. I just wanted to write something about Will. I love Will Herondale so much and his character is so intense, and vulnerable and caring yet still so heartbreakingly sad. I hope you like this. Please review. It gives me an idea if I'm doing it right or not. I know I have lots of other fan fictions I should be finishing, but you know me... Procrastinator 5000. haha
I tried to make it as in-character as possible. There may be slips... times where he might not be like that or something, and for that I apologise.
Disclaimer: Cassie Clare is the genius behind such a beautiful character. I am just having fun. :)
Will sat reading a book he thought he would be over by now. A Tale of Two Cities. Such a complex yet familiar story. He so related to Sydney.
He had died - albeit inside - for the one he loved.
What had happened to him? How had he got to where he was now? Will signed regrettably. The old grandfather clock beside the mantelpiece told him it was coming close to midnight. Still, he read. The only thing he had left were books.
All because he'd went and let his curse - which turned out to be a complete lie - get the better of him. He'd let his love for Tessa Gray take him over. She'd told him she was engaged to Jem, his very own parabatai, and he'd almost lost it. Wait...he had lost it.
The London Institute was eerily quiet with only the tick tock of the clock and his heartbeat to keep him company. A tall lamp with a beige shade sat beside him on a coffee table, shining light down on him.
Will looked down at a quote that he knew off by heart. When the seamstress questions that Sydney isn't afraid of death, and that he welcomes it.
"Perhaps I do. Perhaps in death, I receive something I never had in life - I hold a sanctuary in the hearts of those I care for."
The doors to the reading room opened. Will heard the soft creak, the hiss as air passed through the gap and the breath of his visitor. The light from the lamp didn't quite reach far enough to let him see until the figure stepped closer. Will's breath caught; he swallowed a thick lump in his throat, eyes threatening to tear, but he didn't let on how his soul shattered into a million tiny pieces every time he saw her.
He wished so much to not be in this world if she was going to marry his best friend. Yes he loved them both, but the pain was too much.
He tried for a smile; to shape his lips into an expression of nonchalance. Of a calm, uncaring manner in which Tessa so frequently came to accept as his usual demeanor. He rarely let anyone see his true feelings, and even in the cold light of day, when they once held each other, before Jem became more than a friend to her, he didn't let her see all of him.
He slowly tucked his bookmark in his book, saving the page, even though he knew most of the book off by heart. He uncrossed his legs and turned so he faced Tessa, who was dressed in a very thin nightgown, low at the cleavage yet precisely so as not to show too much. It reached near to her mid calf.
"What can I do for you, Tessa?" he asked her, his voice low and careful. He didn't think he could handle being in the same breathing space as her, but it seemed his heart was taking a break from the usual grief it caused him. Which was a blessing.
She smiled, pleasantly. Managing to make every part of her glow with beauty. He wanted to caress the soft skin on her neck, stroke his thumb along her cheek and kiss her plump delicate lips. He mentally shook himself, deriding his thoughts the way they so often went whenever she was near.
"I wanted to know if you were alright? I saw you weren't in your room and..." Her eyes caught the book he had still gripped in one hand. "Are you still reading that?"
He grinned, hiding the sorrow within him very well. "You know very well this isn't the first time I've read this."
"Yes, I do know. I just assumed you would have tired of it by now."
"I never tire of what I love most." he said solemnly, not taking his eyes off of her. His mouth became dry, rough like sandpaper. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" It was an innocent enough question yet somehow it sounded inappropriate coming from him. Or maybe that was just his paranoia.
"I- I couldn't sleep," she stuttered awkwardly. Her hands intertwined in front of her; while her feet shuffled.
"So you thought you'd come and what, stalk me? I'm quite capable of reading on my own, you know? I'm not going to get a paper cut or-" He pretended to cut himself on the corner of his book; mocking someone in grave pain. "Oh no, what have I done?" His voice rose slightly.
Tessa shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "You don't need to be so sarcastic." She turned to leave but Will found himself standing up in a hurry, eager to have her stay, despite the pain his heart was causing.
"No, don't," he said. "Come read with me."
She looked wary, unsure if it was wise, most likely. It was not proper to be so intimate with the one you were not partnered with. "I don't know," she whispered. "I should probably get back to bed. Jem will wonder where I've gotten to."
Will tried to hide the shock. "You're sleeping in James's bed?"
"No, no. In the chair next to him. He's... he's not feeling so well tonight, I'm afraid."
Will crossed the room in two long strides, hand on the door handle. "I'm going to see him."
Tessa caught his arm, stopping him just as the door creaked open.
"No, you can't. I mean, he's asleep. I was just making sure he didn't need anything, that is all."
"But you thought it proper to keep this from me? I'm his parabatai Tessa. Do you know what that means? It means we're bonded beyond anything imaginable. It means we must be there for each other."
"I know that," she said softly, her fingers still grazing the material of his shirt. "I didn't think."
His eyes burned into her like a raw fire. "I need to see him. Even just to reassure myself that he is indeed alright." He left the room, ashamed of his behaviour but worried all the same about Jem.