Well this started out as a chapter for my fic 'some things never change', but it rather took on a life of its own so I thought I could go and post it as a one-shot, a companion piece for this, taking place in the time where you see )( this sign is in the 19th chapter of that selection of stories (find them on my profile)
This is one of three Natsume/Ruka/Mikan fics that I know of, one other being by me in the short stories, and the groundbreaker being 'Dionysus' false prophet', though this is more heavily on the N/R side if you want my honest opinion :P
Oh I have no idea what happened to me with this… M-rated for a very very good reason, so no squeamish people. Otherwise enjoy.
Edited and meddled with because I love this too much to leave it alone. I love the yaoi in this :P
I never quite knew which way I 'swung' growing up. When I was younger I thought I'd do what other boys did and just like girls automatically… but that never really happened for me. Girls liked me all right, but every time I had the chance, even just to fool around with them, I never took it.
I would've rather hung out with my friends. With Ruka.
I guess I realized I might not be 'normal' in that way when I realized that Ruka wasn't either; when I realized Ruka was quite probably in love with me – 'why are you the only one, Natsume?' 'I won't smile because he can't.'… all that stuff, it didn't take a genius to see those were the words of more than a just a friend.
Though, of course, I was only young, so I only suspected. Although it certainly pushed the borders of 'knew' when he ate those fermented berries and hugged me. Hugged me a lot.
But then Mikan was there as well, Mikan was my wild card, my one female friend, but also the one girl I 'liked' even remotely in that way. Ruka 'liked' her as well, and that was the most ironic thing of all. I see looking back on it that we'd both given each other all this chat about 'not losing' and competing for her to cover up our attitudes towards one another. Things like that didn't go down well in our school, or any school for that matter: you tried to fit in, where you could.
But even years on, drink still loosened Ruka up, and that was the downfall of it all. Was it Ruka? I can't even remember. We'd all been staying at a hotel on a school trip; me looking the oldest had bought us all way too many drinks in a local bar, and Mikan had gone down first, lightweight. That was how we came to be one on either side of her staggering sluggishly towards our room, completely smashed ourselves for that matter.
Our room? If I look at the details of the trip I remember that we did actually have our own rooms, not that two of them were used at all.
Ruka had been singing, I think, or it might've been me… Mikan couldn't really talk, so it was one of us two, but nevertheless we managed to stumble and sway and fall into a room that one of our three keys opened, and we slung Mikan onto the bed while Ruka climbed into the bath. Why? You'll have to ask him.
"Ruka…" I had moaned as I tried to look at myself in the mirror and only saw a strange dark blur. "You are…wearing your clothes." He laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard and just said, "I am." I stumbled forwards and grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"Haha," I sort of laughed, and pulled it towards me; the shirt obviously was still attached to him, and I didn't really make much of an impact on it.
"Turn on the water," Ruka said, and started fumbling with the buttons of the shirt clumsily. I more or less fell against the tap and became enthralled with the way water magically poured out of it, and I also noticed Ruka was wearing jeans and socks.
"Socks," I stated, and he nodded as water began to soak into them and run up the back of his legs: he was after all, sitting in a filling bath.
"Yes, Natsume." He answered, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor.
A little later, when water overflowing from the bath began to drip on my face and woke me up. I had slept of a bit of the drink and was able to turn off the taps without braining myself on the rim of the tub, and was thankful that Ruka had passed out slumped over the side of the tub, so had fortunately not drowned in what was now a full to the brim bath of basically cold water.
Slightly damp, I took off my jacket and left that on the floor as I stumbled into the next room, and if you care to know one of my clearest memories that night was simply the swaying pattern of the carpet as I crossed the floor: it's funny how you remember little things.
Mikan was passed out on the bed snoring loudly, and had managed to take up nearly all of the double (as I mentioned before I think the hotel staff thought it was only going to be one to a room… either that or they were just being, uh, discrete), so I sort of rolled her over far enough to pull up a corner of the duvet and crawl inside; the covers warm and inviting against my wet, chilled skin.
I'm not sure how long it was before I was woken up again by a series of loud clunking sounds in the en suite, and wincing up at light that stung the eyes saw Ruka illuminated in the doorway, his soaking wet shirt hanging off his shoulders and water running down his chest. I knew what they meant by the phrase 'a handsome man drenched in water' at that moment. And even if I hadn't been drunk I think I would've still found it hot.
"Ahhhh," I moaned, mostly at the light pouring out of the bathroom behind him. "Kill the lights…" Mikan snored in concurrence, and Ruka flailed around until he hit the switch and brought us back into darkness.
"Natsume…" he said quietly and sincerely. "I can't see anything." I heard him squishing around on the floor, and had sanity enough to answer.
"Take off your socks." Before he made it to the bed. As it was, he tripped on the bed anyway and plummeted, soaking wet, down on top of me, not Mikan, who would've probably slept through it.
"Ow," he mumbled dumbly, and began crawling up the bed, his hands landing all over my legs and making me want to draw them quickly and firmly up to my chest.
"You're…" I sat up suddenly and nearly head-butted him, but instead raised a hand to roughly drag through his sodden hair and wring out the water with my fingers. "All wet."
"Mhm," he hummed, and leant in to press his face against my hand, his cheeks icy from being in the cold water. "But you're warm." Thinking about it, I was warm, thankfully I'd dried myself out by sleeping, and had been, until this sloppy interruption, both comfortable and warm.
The pattering of drops of water made me realize he was still there… that and the knee between my legs.
"You'll get the bed wet." I said stupidly, and felt his cold breath across my cheeks. He sat back and fumbled with his second skin of wet clothing.
"Sorry…" he mumbled, "I'll…" I lunged forwards and inadvertently butted myself against his leg, as my hands flew out and seized the folds of his shirt again.
"No, I'll…" I told him as I pulled the material away from his skin and started to slide it back, half-accidentally-half-not rubbing my hands across icy gooseflesh and feeling the ridges of his ribs and muscles under my fingers. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'damn he's cold' and then replacing the word 'cold' with 'hot' with a sense of guilty arousal.
"Thanks… Natsume," he sighed, and I felt a lump in my throat a he slumped against me, his fingers catching the end of my shirt and twisting it around them. His face was cool against my shoulder, and I leant into him more as I pulled the shirt off his back, and finally flung it aside with a wet smack against the floor.
A damp feeling in between my legs made me realize that A – I could've, but luckily hadn't wet myself, but B – that Ruka was wearing soaked-through jeans still, and it was only after a lot of fumbling and a switch of positions, so that it was I on top as he lay back and for some reason started to grin as I tried to yank the wet things off his legs, that I managed to succeed.
When I finally did succeed in doing this I was nearly ready to collapse again into drunken unconsciousness, but that was when I felt his hands grabbing my shirt again, and as he wound it round his hands and pulled my face closer to his I remember hearing him whisper, "Why is it just me?" and turning his head so his forehead rested against my chin and lips.
He pulled tighter at my shirt, and a feeling that felt like I'd had it for a long, long time before that night, without quite realizing it, bubbled up and began to flow out of me... if, of course, you are going to make me be poetic about it.
"It's not," I answered quietly, and started to shrug out of my top as if that was what he was really talking about, and not just me being a deviant pervert, "see?"
"It's too dark," he replied sadly, and one of his hands came up to clasp my face, and his fingers walked over it curiously.
"Heh… You can see me like this," I told him drunkenly, and he felt the movements of my mouth as I did so.
"Yeah," he said, a little happier, and reached down to grab the very bottom of my shirt and pull up, I saved my arms by moving them just in time, and the dry cotton flew aside as Ruka looped an arm around my back and pulled me down sharply, pressing our bodies together and sighing.
"I really love you, Nasume," he slurred, "I really do."
It was at that point my actions skipped daintily across the sensibility line, and with a heavy breath I unhesitatingly pushed Ruka down onto the bed and I crushed my mouth on top of his.
Obviously then I realized I probably wasn't straight. And when fumbling hands started fumbling around with my fly and there was Ruka whispering things I can't even remember, but know they were more arousing than any dirty talk from any girl's lips, I was more or less certain I played for the other team. This was what I'd heard about, the rushing, dizzying buzz that made me feel static all over and want more, more, more… this is what my friend's had talked about being with girls, and finally I knew what they meant. This was right.
She really could sleep through anything, I mean, exactly what she must've snored through without waking is mind-boggling, if you work on the basic premise of what I tell you and I tell you that when she finally rolled over and opened her eyes my hands were snugly around Ruka's cock, and there was already a taste of something salty on his lips, then you can imagine what she must've slept though.
)-(See 'Some things never change' chap 19 for sister-fic)-(
Ironic still that what I remember of that night with the most clarity is still that carpet… and it's pretty annoying, as well.
"Eeh?" she mumbled in confusion, "whose'at?" Ruka was panting and writhing around too much to take huge notice of her, though I didn't stop moving my hand as I looked over in the direction of her voice. I think we had rather forgotten she was there.
However I slowly stopped pumping my hand on Ruka, and with a bruised clash of lip and teeth moved away from him, grabbing for Mikan, drunk with hormones. I found her hands and pinned them to the bed, and she squealed in confusion as I more or less ground my undone and slightly stained jeans against her stomach. By now I didn't care who it was really, but somewhere I really delighted in the fact that this gift of stupid naïve virgin had been thrown into my lap.
"What should we do with her, Ruka?" I asked him, and obviously as fucked off his head as I was from that unique mix of alcohol and hormones, he rolled over, catching her face in his hand and angling her towards him as if in thought.
"Mmmm-Mikan," he breathed after a while, and pulled her forwards to kiss her, as I recall I couldn't really see it, but I could sharply hear the sound of lips against lips, and for some reason hearing that sent (and still sends) a hot bolt all the way down to my groin, and I rubbed against her again. I was recovering fast.
"I say we fuck her," I groaned, and leant over to try and kiss her myself – though I ended up with a kind of mix between the two of them. Ruka's state of waking and 'practice' meant he was both the better kisser and more reciprocal at that time, so it wasn't long before I had my tongue back deep in his mouth and was pushing him back onto his back as if Mikan hadn't been there at all.
"Natsu…Ruka?" I heard her saying curiously, and distracted as I was by my hands fiddling around with Ruka's cock again – remember he still hadn't got off yet – as I managed a response.
"…You've…no idea what you're in for…" I muttered with a grin, and grabbed one of her pigtails to drag her head down in the vague direction of Ruka's crotch, also keeping her occupied by pulling open her shirt and pushing up her bra.
Unlike Ruka's hard, firm chest; hers was soft and malleable, and as I brushed my fingers over a velvety nipple curiously she gasped. I heard Ruka sitting up.
"Do that again," he said intoxicatingly, "make that sound again…" I felt his hand on my leg, pleading but also comfortable, "make her, Natsume." He sounded childlike in this state, but I was definitely in what you could call an indulgent mood, so I obligingly lowered my mouth to her breast and traced my tongue around a barely detectable bud that quickly hardened under my rough strokes.
This time she even made an enchanting moaning sound; she was still wasted and inhibitionless herself, and I could tell we were going to be a long time distracted by this new toy placed in our possession.
"Mikan," Ruka hissed as he pressed his lips against her ear, "how does it feel?" he began to manipulate her arms and persuaded her top off her shoulders almost effortlessly, and even unlocked that bemusing device of the bra without many problems. I meanwhile had found my fingers in her pants, and decided that if I was going to let Ruka have her first (he had already done me a favour already so it wasn't strictly as if I could get up again so soon) she should be nice and wet.
You have to take into account that at this time I was drunk, as close as you can get to high on adrenaline, and inexperienced. But Mikan was also at least two of those things as well, and I managed to get by fingering her with just a little less success than I had with Ruka. Obviously if it's another guy I have a better idea of what feels best – I have masturbated before.
However drunk and clumsy as I was, I managed to produce those sounds that were turning Ruka on so much again and somehow direct Mikan around the fact that she was being molested/gang-raped.
I remember being able to tell they were kissing, and petulant to be out of the loop for even a moment wrapped my hand around the base Ruka's cock and dragged my hand up it. He gurgled in the back of his throat and I smirked to myself, glad to know there was still one way I could get his attention.
"I'll let you have her first," I muttered hotly in his ear as pulled him close to me and kept my hand moving up and down, "but only because I fucking love you." He moved his head and I suppose he must've sucked and/or bit my neck, because although I don't remember it I had one hell of a mark there the next morning, and Mikan's mouth isn't that big (as I've yet to elaborate upon).
The how's and who's of pulling down Mikan's panties and pulling her out of her skirt are still hazy to both me and Ruka (unlike Mikan, we've discussed this in great, delicious, highly arousing detail), but I do remember holding her hands and kissing her forehead as Ruka finally broke her… actually, thinking about it now I do also vaguely remember sucking off Ruka beforehand as well – something about spit and lube and not wanting to hurt Mikan. There was definitely someone's cock in my mouth at some point, so I'll go ahead and assume it was my best friend's.
It being pitch black at the time I obviously couldn't see what happened as I let Ruka fuck her, but I did hear it, and after all, I could feel them as well: I was intermittently kissing and groping them both. In a way I think it was better that way around, as I didn't have to worry about hurting her, and Ruka was always the more gentle of us two. Other times I feel jealous that he had her first, but, I can always forgive him for it and he can always make it up to me.
Ruka came much earlier than she did, I could almost instantly tell from his pants and groans when he was spent, and pulling Mikan away from his limp body dragged her onto my lap and without much hesitation thrust my freshly hard cock deep into her – I should probably add now, before you call a helpline, that Mikan did moan very loudly and scream something like 'oh god Natsume!', so this rapport was at least what could be plausibly argued as consensual. Getting back to the point, I got straight into her, eased in on a mix of bodily fluids I would not care to closely identify, though at the time I believe honestly didn't mind.
Grunting as I lifted her hips and dragged them back down on top of mine, I rocked her on top of me; she soon met every thrust I made with a jerk of her hips, and when I felt myself getting close picked her up suddenly and threw her down on the bed next to Ruka. Grabbing her leg, I lifted it up and slid it over my shoulder as I plunged back in, even deeper this time, and she seized up inside and screamed in a way that suggested she was about to come herself.
This was in fact the reason why I let Ruka have her first, because if he hadn't been there before me carefully taking her virginity I would've fucked it out of her brutally – like I was then. She screamed with every single thrust and I could feel myself smashing against that tight muscular barrier at her end, but I was much too far gone to care if it was pleasure or pain for her, and I, somewhat to my relief, found out the next day she did have at least an averagely good time with me. Make that a really fucking awesome time, actually: not to blow my own trumpet or anything.
At this point I believe Ruka covered her mouth with his, as the screams muffled and perhaps in response I felt her hitting her peak, her inner walls were definitely clamping down hard around my cock and forcing me to come with her, mixing my and Ruka's together inside her.
I realized as I slowly and dazedly recovered this time that I was now almost stone-cold sober – adrenaline clears alcohol out of your system in a flash, and also that I should probably wash myself. I stood up and surprised myself with my own stability, and then walked slowly towards the bathroom.
Inside I closed the door and turned on the light, looking at myself in the nearest mirror and knowing what people meant when they said they could see sex on people; I was stagnant in it then. Noticing the half-full bathtub of cold water (minus of course the space Ruka took up in it) I walked over and started dipping my hands in it and washing away the come and god-knows-what coating my groin and part of the way down my legs.
"Shit," I muttered to myself and raised a wet hand to rub across my burning forehead, "did that really happen?"
"I'm pretty sure it did," a voice sounded out and I jumped like I'd been plugged into the mains. "Ah! Ruka, I didn't notice you there…" I said to a guy I almost couldn't recognise in the bathroom doorway; hints of a smile on his face as he looked at what I was doing. This person standing here couldn't be the old Ruka, I simply knew - because the old Ruka didn't smile like that at me with cum and blood and more dripping down his junk, the old Ruka wasn't a lover. This... guy, if I should use such bold words, was.
As I stared blankly at him, Ruka shifted about a bit, and after a short pause walked over to the bath and climbed back in it again.
"You'll catch a cold." I told him as he shivered and smiled at me, I wondered if he was still a little drunk, and I walked over to the tub and turned on the hot tap as he lay back and sighed.
"If I am then I've probably already caught it," he replied, and swished his toes around in the warm water at the end of the tub. I crossed back over the room and sat on the counter next to the sink, looking over at him with expected thoughtfulness.
"So…" he started and heard him splash as he moved around in the water, "what do you think Mikan will make of this?"
"We could probably tell her it was all just a dream," I remarked half-jokingly, and he chuckled quietly.
"She might not believe us, though," he mumbled, "and she might notice... uh, things." I chuckled very quietly at his words, and he suddenly turned and looked at me with the old Ruka's eyes, and at once I knew exactly what he wanted to know. I slid off the counter and walked back over to the bath, and then dipped my hand in the water, shrugged, and climbed in the other end, still staring curiously at him from what suddenly felt like further than it was.
This was the first time I was actually really looking at him naked, as in the next room it was still a total blackout, then sucking on my lower lip I realized that I genuinely liked what I saw, and I knew that this was going to run deeper than just a drunken night - I really did love him.
I don't know if he thought this at the same time as I did, but something about the way we were in that moment made him sit up and move, in slow strokes, to rest his head against my shoulder as his side fitted into a groove in my body that could've been there just for him.
"We're... still the same, aren't we?" he asked quietly, and I passed my fingers over the back of his neck and through his hair. I didn't want to lie and say we were completely – something was obviously very different, but, somehow, I couldn't say no either.
"…Yeah," I finally answered as I exhaled and felt his weight right on top of my heart. "Just about."
Thankfully this time neither of us fell asleep in the cold bath, however when it was piping hot and nearly overflowing I shut off the water and moved towards the larger end, lying back with Ruka still on my chest and letting my eyes close for just a few minutes. I didn't mind him being there, in fact it was much to the contrary, I very much liked it.
"Natsume," his voice, gentle, woke me, "Natsume, you are falling asleep."
"Yes," I answered groggily and tried to roll over as he moved away, "I am."
"Do you want to go back to bed, then?" he proposed, and after a sluggish pause I nodded with a weary smile. He got up first, and quickly dashed to a rail bearing a fresh towel – only one, though, so we had to make do. Not that I minded. Warm, wet, and too damn tired to care about anything else, we shuffled back into the bedroom and I fell asleep on his firm and flat chest, and didn't wake up for a glorious eight hours – which was sometime in the mid to late afternoon of the next day.
Ruka tells me he himself woke up when Mikan opened her eyes and started shrieking at some godforsaken hour of the morning (10am is a godforsaken hour), and good-natured as he is took her away and gently explained his version of events to her. I think he also wanted to save her from my bluntness: 'I fucked you' (point at Ruka) 'he did too.' Might not go down so well first time. Not when 'we're also gay' is a throwaway comment probably worth making whilst things are being brought out into the open.
So look, all I know of the situation is that when I woke up it was with the two of them smiling over me and two whole aerosols full of shaving gel poised and ready to cover me completely in foam. That of course meant I had to wash again, and this time I showered with both of them. We were all a little too whacked out to be able to accomplish anything like the night before, but the love, if I you are going to make me say it, was there. Though Mikan sure beat me some for bruising her like that, 'places she never even knew she had' were among some of her words.
I didn't and still don't know or care what Ruka said to her that morning – but whatever it was it worked, so I was (and still am, because for the record as I have been telling you this I've got two messages from Ruka, the first reading 'thinking about you.x.' and the other reading 'Mikan's all tied up, so she can't come to the phone right now ;P') happy, and that is more than good enough for me.
I did enjoy this narrative, it began 3rd person as most of my stories do, but I decided to make it personal a little way in :D hope I wasn't too OOC for Natsume (aside from the obvious fiddling with his sexuality :P).
Love ya' reviews, kay?