((A/N: Dynasty Warriors doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters! So no suing, please. HEY READERS! This story is NOT EVEN CLOSE to historically accurate, so don't beat me over the head about that. My first fic… let's see how it goes.

Oh, and THERE ARE NO CHARACTER DEATHS! So don't get freaked out by this chapter and stop reading, okay? THE FIRST CHAPTER IS REALLY BAD! So yeah, the other one's will be better, I promise.

I don't know why, but this story was wiped… but it's back now! Woohoo!))

Chapter 1 – Setting the Stage

Sima Yi had to fight to keep his usual scowl as he sat behind Cao Cao. This was perfect! His best plan yet, according to calculations there would be just enough wine in the first jug to serve all but the Shu visitors, who would then be served the other wine. Yes, this was marvelous!

Seated around the table were Cao Cao, Sun Ce, and Liu Bei. An odd mix, yes, but as a new threat arose, these three powers felt it necessary to form a new alliance. Behind Cao Cao knelt Sima Yi, dropping his head to hide his smirk; behind Sun Ce was Zhou Yu, staring daggers at Zhuge Liang; who sat placidly behind Liu Bei.

Well he wouldn't be so placid for long! Sima Yi rubbed his palms together.

"Wine?" Cao Cao's voice broke through, and he took forth the first jug- the safe jug. He was about to pour some for himself, and then frowned darkly. After all, he had been warned about breaking alliances by way of ill manners. "Here, Sun Ce, why don't you drink first?" He passed the jug to Ce.

Sima Yi blinked, "My Lord, if I may make a suggestion-"

Cao Cao waved a hand at him, "Later."

Biting his lip, Sima Yi cringed. This simply could not turn out well.

Sun Ce poured some wine for himself, and as he passed it to Zhou Yu, managed to spill it all over the marble floor.

Immediately Sun Ce apologized, blushing furiously.

Sima Yi leapt up, "Why that's fine, Lord Sun, I'll fetch another." He bustled out of the room and returned with the tainted jug in his hand, snickering.

He handed it down to Zhou Yu with a short bow, and then returned to Cao Cao.

Zhou Yu poured himself some, and passed it to Liu Bei. Liu Bei poured some for himself and Zhuge Liang, then handed it to Cao Cao.

Cao Cao shook the jug… ah, there was still some wine it it! Great! He poured himself some and offered some to Sima Yi. But Sima Yi claimed that he had been feeling rather ill- and that wine was about the last thing he needed.

"And so, My Lord, if I may-" Again Sima Yi was silenced by Cao Cao, who raised his own cup and said: "My friends, today we unite the Kingdoms long divided. May our conquest be successful!" And he raised the cup to his lips. All the others did the same, and Sima Yi looked pale.

But for a moment nothing happened. Cao Cao downed his cup and then said, "But remember, after we defeat this new threat that the author was not smart enough to name, I go back to loathing you all with the passionate heat of seven suns!"

There was a long silence at this, during which Liu Bei sniffled at the proposed return to hate. He opened his mouth for a choked-up response, but cut himself off as his strategist began to cough loudly.

Clawing at the collar of his robe, and clutching at his throat, Zhuge Liang managed to sputter out "P-poison…"

Liu Bei stared at Cao Cao as though the Wei ruler was none other than the devil himself, and then burst into tears. "How could you do this to me! I trusted you to host this meeting… now look what you've done! Oh you should be ashamed!"

Sima Yi's smile widened as Liu Bei's sobs turned to choking gasps. This was better than he had imagined! However something wiped the smile completely from Sima Yi's face.

"M-my Lord!" Sima Yi cried as Cao Cao doubled over with a fit of coughing. Zhou Yu had done the same, and Sun Ce gaped at him, shaking him by the shoulders.

There was a large 'poofing' sound, followed by a cloud of smoke, and both Ce and Yi stared in horror at the scene before them.

Sun Ce let out a sharp cry, and scrambled out the door, screaming bloody murder. Sima Yi, stunned, stared out across the chaos he had just created, and then bolted after Sun Ce.

"Wait! Lord Sun! It's not as bad as it looks! Honestly, it will wear off, I promise!!"

---

Cao Cao shook his head, "Well that was just plain freaky." He blinked and looked around. Everything seemed so much… larger than it had been before. In fact, he didn't even take up most of his silk pillow, but sat perfectly fitted in the center.

From under the table came the large-eyed face of Liu Bei. "This is vewwwwwy stwange." Liu Bei's voice sounded much different than usual, Cao Cao thought… but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The two perplexed leaders stared at each other when a muffled 'oof' caught their attention, and the they both crawled beneath the table towards the sound.