Some Things Change While Others Remain The Same

~Buffy The Vampire Slayer~

Live Journal Spike / Buffy July Prompt Challenge

What if ten years after the destruction of the Hellmouth, Spike seeks out Buffy…

"Are you sure you wanna do this, Buffy?" Dawn asked as she watched her sister toss clothes into an overnight bag.

"I have to go, Dawn." Buffy answered without looking up. It was the same conversation they had every year, but this time it was different. It would be the last time.

"It's been ten years." Dawn said as she followed Buffy down the stairs into the kitchen. She knew arguing would get her nowhere.

Buffy sighed as she dropped her bag by the back door and turned to face her sister. "Mom's been gone a lot longer than that." She said with a catch in her voice. She had lost too many people over her short life and she didn't like talking about any of them. "Have you forgot about her?

"Of course not." Dawn snapped as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from her sister's accusing stare. "That's not the point, Buffy and you know it. I haven't forgot about him either."

"It's my last chance to say goodbye, Dawn." Buffy admitted as she saw Dawn's head snap around. She had kept her sister out of the loop on most of her Slayer stuff lately for her own good but this was one issue she deserved to know about. "After tonight there won't be anything left in Sunnydale to return to for either of us. I have to do this for myself or I will never be able to move on from here."

"I'm going with you." Dawn announced as Buffy ran a hand through her hair. She was about to protest when she saw the tears on her sister's face. There was no arguing with Dawn when she set her mind to something.

"What about Will?" Buffy asked as Dawn grabbed her car keys off the kitchen table.

"He'll be fine." Dawn smiled as she disappeared into the living room.

"Dawn," Buffy sighed as Dawn stuck her head around the corner. "I really need to do this by myself."

"Just be careful." Dawn huffed as she tossed the keys to her sister. It wasn't the fact that she was going alone but the place she was going alone to that unnerved them both, but this was something Buffy had to deal with on her own terms and in her own heart.

The Watcher's Council had bought the crater formally known as Sunnydale and intended to build an American headquarters where the old high school once stood. With the Hellmouth closed for good, the town destroyed and only minor demon traffic from time to time it was the perfect place to train new potential slayers. However, it meant the ruins of Sunnydale High would be buried beneath a new layer of dirt, rock and concrete along with the bodies of those they had lost in the Hellmouth ten years ago. Even now it didn't seem right to her. The life of a Slayer was shrouded in death from the moment they were called, doomed to die early and charged with saving the world. Only it wasn't her that saved the world and sealed the demon's doorway. It was him. The reason she kept coming back here every year to remember, to forget and to try and make sense of it all. "Spike," She whispered as she stood at the edge of the crater staring down into the darkness. She had believed in him and it had given him the power to defy a Goddess and destroy his own kind, but he hadn't believed her in the last few moments of his existence. It was something that had been eating away at her since she stepped into the light that day knowing she would never see him again. Maybe that's why she couldn't let go of this place, why it haunted her dreams and lingered in the back of her nightmares and why she kept coming back year after year to shed her tears over a bottle of his favorite whiskey with his lighter tucked away in her pants pocket.

A strange feeling came over her as she stared at him in the glow of the amulet. The walls were shaking, the floor started to crumble beneath her feet but she didn't run. He expected her to, it was what he wanted. He had done this, all of it, so that she could live. The realization shook her harder than the jolting of the cavern around her. She moved closer to him, threading her fingers through his. His eyes moved from their hands to her face and the tears she could no longer hide. The moment his fingertips brushed the back of her hand the flames started. Spike gasped but didn't let go tightening his grip on her hand. To her shock the flame didn't burn or prick at her skin but she could see the pain etched into his face. Buffy met his eyes again and words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. "I love you."

His eyes went wide and he tried to smile. "No you don't." He said as he squeezed her hand one last time. "But thanks for sayin' it." She should have jerked the amulet off him and dragged him out of the Hellmouth with the rest of them but she had left him there to die. "I wanna see how it ends." He had laughed as the flames consumed him and the power of the amulet burst through the cavern. She had finally admitted to herself and to him that she had grown to love Spike for who he was and in the same instant she lost him forever. In the ten years since that night a lot of things had changed but one hadn't…and it never would.

With a sigh Buffy brushed away the tears she promised she wouldn't cry. Draining what was left of the whiskey in her glass she felt a familiar tingle ghost down the back of her neck. "Slayer," Buffy spun around, her hand going for the stake at her back. The air caught in her lungs, her hand froze and the glass slipped from her fingers shattering on the broken concrete under her feet.

"Oh my God." Buffy breathed as she stared at the man before her. Her brain froze as she met his prying eyes, her hand hanging in the air with the stake barely out of her belt loop. It couldn't be him…could it? "Spike?"

"The one and only, Pet." He tilted his head to the side looking her over as he took a step toward her. Her breath smelled of the whiskey and her hair was shorter than the last time he had saw her but she was still Buffy.

Warning bells were going off in her mind as he took a step toward her his hand reaching out. She thought of the First and the havoc he reeked in the bodies of her friends. Could it be…what if it was really Spike? With a step back she forced herself to take a deep breath. "It can't be you." She choked out as she wrapped her fingers tighter around the stake. "I was there. I saw you burn."

"Bloody hell, Slayer!" He growled as he rolled his eyes at her. "Like you've never came back from the other side of the grave."

His words stung but this time she didn't move away from him as he stepped toward her. "You're real?"

"As real as it gets, luv." Spike sighed as she turned her cheek into the palm of his hand, a small smile on her lips as his thumb caressed her face. Suddenly, Buffy slammed her fist into his face making him stumble back. "What the bloody hell was that for?!" Spike screamed as he adjusted his broken nose. Some things never changed.

"You could have called you know!" Buffy growled as he blocked another punch headed for his face, taking a kick to the stomach that doubled him over.

"Don't you think I wanted to!?" Spike argued as he righted himself in time to avoid a kick aimed at his face. "Don't you think I bloody well tried!?"

"Ten years, Spike!" Buffy screamed as he avoided her fists just barely at times. Grabbing her wrist he flipped her to the ground a smile playing at the corner of his lips as he watched her roll back to her feet. It had been too long since he had had a decent fight. He hadn't felt this alive in years and a chuckle rolled out of his lips before he could stop it. A kick to his chest caught him off guard sending him stumbling in the loose dirt and another catching him in the shoulder sent him down. Grabbing her ankle he pulled her to the ground with him. She caught him in the face with the flat of her boot knocking him on his back. "You have no idea what you put me through!" Buffy met his eyes as she straddled his waist pinning him to the ground with the stake in her hand.

"Do it, Slayer!" Spike growled as she pressed the stake against his chest. He would rather be dust again than to see her torture herself on his account for another second. Her eyes lost focus for only a second and he knew the anger had passed as she dropped the stake to the ground.

"A letter, an email, a phone call…would that have been too much to ask for?" Buffy choked on her tears as she stared down at his shocked face. Not once had he changed into the face of his demon. Not once had he sullied their dance by giving less than he got. It was just like the old days and it hurt her in some way that she didn't want to admit. "Something…anything that would have stopped the nightmares."

"You don't know how bad I wanted to." Spike stopped himself as he closed his eyes and sighed. Now was not the time to let his anger get the best of him.

"Explain it to me then." Buffy sighed as she stared down at him, the knot in her stomach relaxing as he opened his eyes to stare up at her with his hands resting on her thighs. "Meet a hot little demon on the other side of the grave and bring her back with you? Dig up Drusilla's ashes and bring her back to the world of the insane and undead?"

"Is that what this round of Kick the Spike is about?" Spike laughed in amazement staring up at the anger flashing in her eyes. Of all the insane ideas she could have come up with. "You think I have spent ten years avoiding you because I found a better shag?! You're jealous, Slayer. Never thought I would see the day."

"I am not jealous." Buffy denied even though the blush on her cheeks told a different story. "Just curious is all. And stop calling me Slayer. We both know we're way past that now. Haven't been just a Slayer to you in more years than I care to think about."

"Yeah, well…you got me there, luv." Spike sighed as he let his eyes drift over her face and down to the hands she was currently resting on his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me you were alive, Spike?" He could hear the self doubt ringing in her voice and he hated himself all over again for coming back. He should have just saw that she was alive and moved on. Now she was in his head again, his blood and he could feel himself drowning in her again.

"Spent nearly a year trapped in that bleedin' necklace before a demon dug it up and mailed it off to Peaches in LA." Spike said quietly as he looked away into the night not wanting to see her reaction to his words. "After he accidently set me free the first thing I tried to do was leave, but I was grounded to that bloody law firm of his.. I was a ghost, Buffy. I couldn't leave, could touch anything, couldn't dial a phone or hold a pencil and I had no solid form. Also there was this bad habit of vanishing when I got a little hot under the collar. Sometimes I would pop right back in the Poofs office and sometimes I would be drifting in nothingness for days before I got enough strength to stay on this side of the gates." Spike's voice trailed off as he brought his eyes back to hers finding a new trail of tears making its way down her face. Carefully, he brushed them away. "I was stuck floating around there until that bloody bunch of pillocks found a way to set me back to rights. Once I was solid enough I headed back here but Peaches stopped me. Said he'd seen you and you were doing good for yourself. New place, new life, new loves…Said you had finally put that bleedin' night behind you. Last thing you needed was me showing up at your door bringin' up the past and all. Was a real prat about it but I saw his point."

"Don't you think I should have been the one to decide that?" Buffy asked as she climbed to her feet and grabbed the bottle of whiskey offering it to him.

"'Suppose so." Spike mumbled as he took the bottle from her hand.

"Besides Angel was wrong." She admitted as he stood. "I haven't had any new loves and I certainly hadn't put that night behind me. He knew that. Last time we saw each other I was sitting right here seven years ago. Apparently, you were already back by that time and he never…he never mentioned it to me. Can't say as I'm too surprised really. Hadn't been himself since the Hellmouth closed and we parted ways in more than just the romantic sense. Not that there was anything between me and Angel after you…well you know." Buffy snapped her mouth shut realizing she was rambling. "So…where have you been since then?"

"We had ourselves a right nasty apocalypse brewin' down there and for whatever reason I had to stay, right. See it through to the end." Spike sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't think you needed me around anymore, Buffy. In L.A…It felt like I had a bloody purpose again. You know, more than just annoying Peaches. With you I had come to depend on the back and forth we shared. Bloody hell, Buffy I lived for it. Wasn't for that I would have put Sunnyhell behind me when Dru ran out of town with Angelus. I seriously don't know what that amulet did to me but it was messin' with my head."

"It wasn't the amulet that made you stay in LA and fight." Buffy sighed as she tossed a rock in the direction of the crater. "It was your soul. You knew it was the right thing to do. I suppose at that moment they needed you more there than I did here. Not that I didn't need you, but…you know."

"Middle of the battle we get ourselves sucked away into some twisted demon dimension." Spike continued mesmerized by what he was seeing in his head. "We been stuck there for years trying to find a way out, getting tortured every time we were caught. One day might as well been a bloody week when you were chained to a wall being bled dry by a soddin' demon child with a never ending thirst for pain. Angel nearly went bonkers by the time I found him and once we were out of there we had some things to deal with in our own minds. Turns out we were in that bleedin' torture realm for six years. I've spent the last two years trying to forget the things I saw and did there and make myself come after you, but I was afraid you would send me away. But I had to see you even it was just to be told to sod off and threatened with a sharp pointy piece of wood again." Spike smiled at her knowing she would understand his meaning. It had after all been their legacy together. They had always danced well together over the years each promising to be the last dance for the other.

"You knew I was going to be here." It was more of a statement than a question and Buffy could see the answer in his eyes. "How?"

"Saw the write up in the paper about the Wankers Council buying Sunnyhell here and knew you wouldn't let them burry it without at least seeing it one last time." Spike admitted as he stared at her. "I had to be here and see for myself that you were alright but I don't think Peaches knows you like I do."

"He never did." Buffy sighed knowing she was telling the truth. Spike had come here searching for her and in a way she had done the same. She had left a piece of her with him in the Hellmouth and she could see it in his eyes that he knew it. "I have been coming here every year since that day like it's some twisted anniversary or something." Buffy laughed as she shook her head feeling him watching her.

Spike held up his hands as she came toward him again with a strange look on her face. "Hold up, Kitten." He said quietly as he swirled the bottle in one hand. "Haven't finished my nip yet."

Without a second thought Buffy laced her fingers through his feeling that same rush she had the first time. Spike gasped as he stared at their hands waiting for the flames and fire to consume them again, waiting for the pain to explode in his body crushing his bones to dust. Instead all he felt was the gentle squeeze of Buffy's hand on his as she spoke. "I meant it you know." Buffy sighed as she felt his fingers tighten on her hand afraid she would let go again. "I love you, Spike."

Glass shattered as he dropped the bottle using their joined hands to pull her against him. "I shouldn't be doing this now." Spike whispered as he stared down into her eyes. "I should have done it ten years ago." Buffy lost herself in the kiss. Show and demanding with a hint of desperation and hope. She wrapped her arm around his waist his free hand cupping her face and his lips left stinging kisses down her throat. "You're even better than I remembered, Kitten." Spike breathed against her neck as his hand tangled in her hair. "Only thing that got me through that torture session was the memories of you. You're faith in me. I swore I would find you no matter how long it took me. No matter what the old Poof said."

Buffy lost herself in the next kiss. Slow and demanding, gentle and rough just the way kissing Spike with no strings attached had been. Always before she had worried what others would think if they found out about the forbidden trysts they had but now she found that she couldn't care less what the world thought of them. Growing up was strange that way. She shivered as his tongue brushed her lips making her gasp. His hands locked on her hips pulling her as tight against him as possible. Her heart was pounding as he pulled away just far enough to trail hot kisses down her throat again. "Spike," she breathed as his hands slid up her back. "Stop."

"Don't wanna." His voice was lost somewhere between a gasp and a growl as he nipped at her throat.

"Me either," She admitted as she pulled on his hair to distance his mouth from her body. From the look in his eyes he didn't take the hair pulling as a punishment and the thought excited her more than she would have admitted before.

"Then why…" Spike stopped short his words trailing off as he stared into her eyes. "There's someone else." He sighed as he took a step away from her already missing the warmth of her body against his after so long of only memories to remind him of her scent and her taste. "Of course there bloody well is. Who's the lucky wanker, Pet?"

"Shut up, Spike" Buffy sighed as she ran a hand through her hair trying without success to slow down the pounding of her heart. "I already told you there isn't anyone else. I just don't want to do…that…out here in the open. Lord knows what could be crawling around here in the darkness."

"But you do want to do it." A wicked grin played at the corners of his mouth as he considered her words. "With ol' Spike, eh?" She wasn't running from him or what he offered her and he wasn't dust. "Right then." Spike smirked as he took a step toward her reaching out to touch his fingers to her face. "If you make it out of here and to your car before I catch you then it's your decision. But if I catch you first…I'm gonna ride you hard before I put you up…Slayer…." Buffy shivered at his words. She had heard them before not to long after they had first met but back then his threat had an entirely different meaning that what he was proposing now.

"Spike," She meant it to be a warning but it came out all breathy and sounded more like an invitation to do as he pleased but she refused to make it that easy for him.

"Run, Buffy." Spike chuckled as he crouched waiting for her to move before he came after her. Gravel and dirt crunched under her feet as she ran through the darkness a smile playing at the corner of her lips as she heard him taunting her from somewhere behind her. "Off a step now aren't we, Slayer!" He called from the shadows. "What would your Watcher think about you running blinding into the darkness like that?" Spike had never been able to best her in a fight or in a race. What made him think he could do it now? Unless he had no intentions of beating her to the car. Digging her feet into the ground, Buffy slid to a stop just a few feet away from the car and spun around expecting to find him pouncing on her but there was nothing. Not even a sign that he had been following her.

Suddenly, strong arms grabbed her from behind and his lips were at her ear before she could process the whisper of breath that brushed her skin. "Gotcha, Kitten." There was laughter in his voice and the way his hands ghosted over her stomach made her close her eyes. Without warning he spun her around slamming her back into the car as he pinned her against the door. Buffy gasped as she stared into his eyes. Everything she had wanted for the last ten years was staring back at her. Forgiveness, redemption, love and acceptance. "Tell me again, luv."

"I love you, Spike." For a moment he just closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers savoring the way the words rolled off her lips.

"I've always loved you, Pet." Spike breathed against her lips as he smashed his mouth to hers in a kiss that was full of joy and undeniable need to feel her against him. "Don't care who knew it. Your choice, Pet. The car…on it or in it…makes no difference to me."

Buffy tried to form words as she gasped but his lips and hands stole any coherent thought she was able to form. Spike growled as he lifted her off her feet, her legs wrapping around his waist and he captured her lips once more. Buffy broke the kiss, gasping as he moved against her, a soft noise slipping from her mouth as she met his eyes refusing to miss a second. Even if it killed her she wouldn't stop him now. "I knew you liked a rough and tumble as much as me, Pet." Spike whispered against her throat as he rolled his hips against her again smiling when another small sound tumbled out of her parted lips. Immediately she bit down on her lip to keep the sounds to herself.

Her nails dug into his shoulders as her head fell back and his name slipped past her lips. Nothing else matter to him in that moment. Not the last ten years, not tomorrow or the next twenty minutes and for one bloody night the entire bleedin' world could save itself for once. "Spike!" The way she said his name was his undoing. Throwing away the last restraints of his thoughts he pulled her lips back to his and let his hands do what he had imagined doing over the last ten years. If it was the last thing he ever did he would make up for letting her torture herself over him.

It was late and they had spent longer than planned saying "goodbye" to Sunnydale and the memories that remained there. A wicked grin spread its way across his face as he remembered their activities in what would have been the old high school. "Just what is it that you find so funny?" She asked as they walked along the sidewalk to her house.

"Nothin', luv." Spike smiled as he squeezed her hand tightly. "Jus' thinkin' 'bout what old Rupert would sputter out if he knew what we did in the old library tonight."

"Spike," Buffy gasped as she smacked his arm. "How do you know that's where we were even at?"

"Good memory, Pet." Spike smirked at her. "Don't get your knickers in a twist…oh that's right, we couldn't find your…"

"Buffy!" A possessive growl worked its way out of Spike's chest as they started up the front steps of the home. "You could have at least called to say…" Spike stood frozen at Buffy's side staring through the door at the brown haired girl. He suddenly found himself glad he had chosen to not rip Buffy's clothes off her which would have left her in only his duster for the trip home.

"Niblet." Spike whispered as he met her eyes.

"Buffy?" Her voice was laced with panic and fear but it carried over the short space between them.

"Don't tell me you bloody well forgot me that quick, Niblet!" Spike called out in mock horror as he touched his chest. "Gets me right here in the bleedin' heart it does."

"S…Spike!" Dawn inched closer until she could see his face. "You're real?"

"Last time I answered that that soddin' question I got a bloody broken nose." Spike grumbled as she heard Buffy chuckle beside him. Before he could brace himself Dawn threw herself against his chest wrapping her arms around him. Half laughing and half crying she mumbled a mix of threats and thankfulness through her tears. Spike held her as she cried out ten years of misery but his eyes were on Buffy as she hurried inside the house. Buffy was smiling as she returned to the doorway rocking a small infant in her arms. It was the most sobering sight Spike had ever seen in his existence. Angel's speech about new loves and new lives came rushing back to him and he closed his eyes with a sigh. "You could have told a bloke before I went and made a soddin' fool of myself for the last three hours, right Pet. Not that I didn't enjoy myself, luv. Don't fancy hearing I told you so from Peaches about this."

"You got it wrong, Spike." Buffy laughed as she walked toward him. "He's not mine. He's Dawn's."

Shock struck him like a stake in the heart as Dawn pulled away from his grasp and dried her tears on the sleeve of her shirt. "Bite size?" Spike had never looked more terrified than he did in that moment as Dawn took the fussy baby from Buffy and placed him in Spike's arms. "I don't think…"

"I trust you, Spike." Dawn smiled as she watched the panic leave his eyes, his head turning to Buffy searching for something in her face. They had always trusted him beyond measure but this was something he had never imagined. In his past no one would have allowed him to hold such a thing unless it was one meant for food. The thought disgusted him now rolling his stomach and making him choke on the foul taste in his mouth. At times he was grateful for the torture of his soul.

"He got a name?" Spike asked as he stared down at the child who was reaching his small little hands toward his face. Without realizing what he was doing Spike leaned closer to the child, not daring to breathe for fear of scaring him. This was a moment he didn't want to waste. There was a moment of silence between the three of them as the baby smacked at his face making contact with his mouth, earning him a warning growl from Spike that made the baby giggle and squirm in his arms.

"William." Dawn's soft voice broke the silence as she watched Spike's head snap up, eyes wide as they locked on hers. "His name is William…after you."

"We call him Will." Buffy laughed at the shock on Spike's face as he worked to process the information he was just given. It was an interesting sight when he turned his eyes to the child again in wonder and smiled.

"Bloody hell," Spike breathed as he shook his head. "Sure know how to take a bloke off his feet, Niblet."

"We missed you, Spike." Dawn shrugged as if it was the most natural thing to name her child after a vampire with a history of brutal and unimaginable violence. His life was full of surprises tonight. "It seemed like the only name that would fit him. First thing he did when he saw Buffy was bite her."

"Hands off, Junior." Spike said with a smile to the baby in his arms. "The Slayer's mine. Don't let the bints tell you sappy sob stories about the Big Bad either. Got a reputation to hold up here, you know."

"Promise me you'll stick around for him like you did for me, Spike." Dawn said as she avoided his eyes. He searched her face for something, anything to make him run in that very second. Finding nothing he turned his eyes to Buffy's smiling face. She wasn't objecting to Dawn asking him to stay. Maybe he had made the right decision after all and it was worth all the torture he had endured at the hands of demons and inside his own mind for the past ten years.

"Someone's gotta stick around and make sure Junior here doesn't end up a soddin' ponce, right." Spike tried for brash but fell short even in his own mind. He was wrapped up in a world he had never thought would exist. He was back with his Slayer, had one hell of an 'I told you so' of his own for Angel and for the first time in ten years he had a little piece of mind and his soul wasn't restless. His Lil' Bit wasn't so little anymore but that didn't mean she didn't need or want him around and now he had a new kid to big brother. "His Father gonna be ok with a vampire around his boy?"

"He's dead." Dawn said as his eyes flew wide and he snapped his mouth shut. "At least we think he's dead. Not dead as in fangs and bloodlust but dead as in…you know…dead."

"Daniel was a trainer with the Watcher's Council. Got killed in a battle with a Vengeance Demon and a rogue vampire." Buffy explained as she leaned her head on Spike's shoulder. She missed the feeling of having him close. "Not sure which one actually got him first. Been watching out for him on patrol but haven't seen a single trace of him since that night."

"Right then" Spike sighed as he glanced around the empty street. "Let's get Junior here back inside before some wondering demon catches sight of this and I end up the laughing stock of the demon community again."

"You gonna keep calling him that?" Buffy sighed as she invited Spike inside the house and closed the door behind them.

"What's wrong with it?" Spike shrugged as he followed Buffy upstairs and laid the small baby in the crib staring down at him in wonder.

"Nothing." She smiled wrapping her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Nothing at all. Welcome home, Spike."

"It's good to be back, Buffy." He smiled as he touched his lips to hers.

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