Disclaimer: I don't own Monk
Natalie's point of view
"That's not their baby"
I sighed. I loved Mr. Monk. He was one of my best friends. But he always had to find a mystery to solve even when there was none to solve. The most annoying thing is he was always right. I would never outright admit it though
I turned off the TV.
"What do you mean it's not their baby," I demanded, "Of course it's their baby."
"No it's not," Mr. Monk said.
He got up and started pacing around. Then he closed his eyes and rocked backwards on his heal as though pushed by some invisible hand.
"There are far too many contradictions for this to be their baby," he said.
"What are you talking about," I asked once again slightly irratated.
"This baby's hair is black," Mr. Monk began.
"So what," I asked.
"Natalie he's a blonde. She's a redhead. It is genetically impossible for their baby to have black hair."
"Maybe it's a recessive gene," I said not believing I was having this debate with my boss, and my friend.
"This baby also has a birth mark," he said, "Their baby doesn't."
"How would you know that," I asked, "and there could be tons of explanations for that too. Maybe they went to the sperm bank."
He screamed.
"Mr. Monk," I asked, "What's wrong? Did you see a spider?"
"There is a bank that lends out sperm," he exclaimed, "That is vile in more then one way and that is just... more shocking then I've ever known and I've known shocking"
I shook my head unable to believe I had to explain to him what a sperm back was.
"It doesn't 'lend out sperm'," I explained, "Sometimes a man is incapable of conceiving a child and people donate their own sperm to the sperm bank so other people could have babies."
Mr. Monk shuttered again. Then he changed the subject obviously too grossed out by the idea to even discuss it
"The major clue that this isn't their baby is this baby is a boy"
"Yes," I said, "So what?"
"So their baby is a girl."
"No," I said, "People thought it would be a girl but it was a boy."
"This baby is a boy," Mr. Monk said.
"Right," I replied.
"But their baby is a girl," he told me again.
I sighed.
"Mr. Monk this baby is a boy," I replied.
"This baby is not their baby," Mr. Monk said.
"You do realize you... could be wrong," I said.
"I could be wrong," Mr. Monk replied, "But I'm not."
I shook my head in disbelief. He was so smart. How could he be so stupid sometimes? Of course when he solves this mystery I'm going to be the one feeling stupid. But a part of me really hoped he was wrong. For once I wanted to be right when it came to Mr. Monk.