'Hey,
honey,' Addison leaned over to kiss Alex as he put an armful of
paperwork down on the bench. He kissed her back.
'Hey!'
When did
you finish at the hospital? I wasn't expecting you till
later.'
'Bailey
sent me home a couple of hours ago. She threw a tantrum because of
Christina. Something about telling her to finish the paperwork after
this guy swallowed a handful of marbles, but then she found her
scrubbed in, with Derek, elbow deep in a girl's intestines. And
then…well, yeah.'
'Sounds like you had it good. My guy
coded, literally just filled out his discharge when…crash. Scrub
nurses everywhere, wife flapping around … nightmare. You cooked?'
Alex leant over the bench of the inbuilt kitchen Addison conveniently
had in her hotel room. The two of them had been living there for over
a month, and Alex was worrying that the expense was beginning to take
its toll on Addison's savings. But she just distracted him whenever
he brought it up, and she was good at that. God, she was good at
that. Alex had never met anyone that was quite as good as she was.
'Dinner!' she said, just as Alex was pulling off his scrubs,
the top of which was drenched. Addison wrinkled up her nose.
'What,
exactly, is that?'
'It's marble-guy's vomit.'
'OK…take
the top off. But then come and eat.' Alex threw the top into a
distant corner, the most distant one he could find. He went to reach
for the singlet he had thrown over a chair that morning. Addison
waved her hand.
'No,
just leave it.' Alex sat at the table, opposite her, bare-chested,
and attacked the meal. It was incredibly good.
'I didn't know
you could cook.'
'There's a…lot you don't…know…about…me…'
Addison murmured, glancing up. She was busy eyeing Alex's uncovered
abs.
'Hey, no fair! How come you get to stare at me?'
'Because you're the one not wearing a shirt.'
'Well,
then,' Alex slipped around the table, behind her chair, and then
sidled up behind her and slid has hands onto her waist, whispering in
her ear. She sighed, but lifted her arms obligingly and let him slide
her shirt off over her head. She let her arms fall back to the table,
and he tossed her shirt over the counter, going back to his
chair.
'Better,' he said, sitting down and picking up his fork
again. The next mouthful of pasta missed his mouth. He was too busy
staring.
'Hey!' Addison called across the table, snapping her
fingers in front of his face.
'S-sorry,' he whispered. He
couldn't help it. Her pale skin gleamed beneath white lace, and try
as he might Alex couldn't bring himself to drag his eyes away. Her
red hair cascaded over one shoulder.
'Alright. Stop it, stop it
now!'
Alex didn't see why he should. For almost the first time
in his life, he was happy. He had been going steady with Addison for
a couple of months now, and he couldn't even remember the last time
he had been going that long with a girl. The two of them just seemed
to connect so well. All the days and weeks of nearly kissing in
consult rooms, and the hurried (but awesome ) sex in the on-call
room, and then hurried kisses in the bar – he was quite frankly fed
up with it. Now he was practically living with her, in a hotel, no
less – and he deserved the right to stare at her if he wanted to.
Finishing his pasta, he watched her get up, walk towards him and
put a hand on his shoulder. He slid his hands onto her stomach,
stroking her skin. She kissed his neck, and then lifted her head to
put her mouth near his ear.
'I love you,' she whispered. Alex
didn't know what to say. He was into her, that was for sure, he
loved being with her, but did he love her? He remembered what another
guy in high school had once said to him.
'Chicks
give sex to get love, guys give love to get sex.' Immortal words of
wisdom.
He didn't want to be that guy. The sex was
amazing…nobody was denying that, but he wanted to wait and tell her
when he really meant it. So he took another way out, just pulling her
even closer and pressing his lips to hers in a kiss, hoping that that
would distract her long enough for him to figure out what he was
going to do. It worked, but it didn't stop him feeling guilty when
Addison pulled away and smiled at him.
Later that evening, he sat,
alone in the living room, trying to puzzle through what Addison had
said to him and what he was going to do. Why couldn't he just say
it? Unbidden, an image of a certain brunette he had been actively
trying to keep from his mind popped into it. Damnit! He threw
Addison's shirt across the room in frustration. And now he thought
of the name, it just wouldn't go away.
'Medically, there's
no reason for me to stay…'
'Yeah, I'm scared…please…'
'Did you sniff too much glue – as a child?'
'I'm asking you something…Alex…'
'I think you should stay with the decent guy…' Those had been his words.
'I
need a reason to stay. A reason from you…'
It
was that part particularly that he just couldn't forget about. A
reason from you…from you…
From him.
She had wanted a reason
from him.
He shook his head, trying to clear it. He was with
Addison. She was great, and beautiful and funny, and totally into
him. Why couldn't he just leave things be? Why, why, why
did it all have to be so damn complicated? He decided that he just
wasn't going to let it… be complicated, that was. Silently
opening the door, he crept over to the bed, gently pulled back the
covers and climbed under, slipping a hand over Addison's waist,
sliding his fingers into her warm, smooth hands. He just wasn't
going to let it be complicated. He was going to make it simple.
A
reason to stay…A reason from you…
Alex squeezed his eyes shut,
refusing to listen, trying to shut out his own thoughts. He hugged
Addison a bit tighter, and leant over.
'I love you,' he
whispered tentatively, but Addison had already fallen asleep.
