A/N: I know there are a lot of these, but I couldn't resist. By the way, if any of these stories sound similar to yours, it's merely a coincidence. I am not using any specific fanfictions in this story. I'm just going to use general ideas and plots. Anyways, in this story, everyone is alive. As always, enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.

Sound Nins and Fanfiction

Chapter 1: The Sound Genin Break The Fourth Wall

Zaku Abumi was on his team's training grounds in Otogakure, waiting for the rest of his team to show up. Zaku was bored. No, bored couldn't even cut it. He was bored as hell! Slightly better...

Though what people do no know is that when Zaku Abumi becomes bored, bad things will happen. When he gets bored as hell, some poor, unsuspecting people will be scarred for life. His teammates, Dosu Kinuta and Kin Tsuchi should have known better than to show up late.

To ease his boredom (and probably mentally scar some innocent people), a black machine shaped like a rectangle fell beside him. (It was strapped to a mini parachute so it won't break.)

"Huh? What's this?" the bored boy said, picking up said machine. It had some sort of hinge. He opened the hinge. There were two sections. On one section there were buttons with letters on it. There was a black screen on the other.

"Oh I know! Kabuto has one of these!" Zaku said, remembering what happened the day before. He shuddered inwardly.

FLASHBACK

"Okay, fine! I'll go ask him for some more bandages!" Zaku said, wanting to avoid the wrath of Dosu. Seriously, the guy ran out of bandages for his face, and he refuses to come out of the room without them. Zaku now wondered more than ever what Dosu's face looks like.

Zaku reached Kabuto's room and barged in. He was met with a horrifying sight.

The gray-haired medic was looking at pictures of him and Orochimaru on a screen. Kabuto and the snake man were doing inappropriate things in the pictures. What creeped Zaku out the most was that Kabuto was giggling, so distracted by the pictures he didn't even notice Zaku come in.

Zaku saw the bandages by the door, grabbed them, and ran away from the room as fast as he could.

END OF FLASHBACK

Just then, he saw two familiar figures walking towards the training grounds. He can figure out this machine with them!

"Hey! You guys are thirty minutes late!" Zaku said, glaring at his teammates.

"Sorry, my bandages got tangled," Dosu said.

"I couldn't find my ribbon for fifteen minutes," Kin said.

Not wanting to face their wrath (He knew those objects are important to them.), he decided to drop the subject and show them the object.

"This thing fell from the sky!" he said. "I think it's a weapon!"

Well, he was half right.

"Zaku, that's a laptop. It is a machine for the internet. The internet is a 'magical place'," Kin said, shuddering. That's what Kabuto called it. She also has walked in on one of Kabuto's "Sexy Moods". She actually was noticed. Said man explained to her what the object was, and threatened to tell everyone she likes Zaku if she told everyone his secret.

"How do we turn it on?" Zaku asked, looking for the right button.

Kin grabbed the laptop and pressed a button. After a few minutes, the computer was on. There were icons. Kin clicked on one of the icons. Something called "Google" popped up.

"Hey, we can probably type in phrases and get a web page!" said Zaku.

"Wow, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard out of you," Dosu said.

"Exactly," said Kin. "What should we type?"

"Ooooh! I know! Zaku Abumi!" I think you can all guess who that came from.

Kin typed in his name and pressed enter. Some sites popped up. One of them was called Fanfiction. She clicked on it. There was a story. More specifically, a ZakuDosu story. The three genins read the story.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I AM NOT GAY! ESPECIALLY FOR DOSU!" Zaku yelled, horrified by what he read.

"I'm not gay either," said Dosu. On the outside, he looked calm and collected. In the inside, Dosu was fuming. When he finds the author, he will make him/her deaf.

Kin just stared at the screen. She really hoped that her teammates don't do that.

Zaku took the laptop and searched for stories about his teammates. They should also suffer.

They found a KinTayuya story.

"WHY AM I PAIRED WITH MY BEST FRIEND?"

They found more yuri stories about Kin and some random girl she barely knows/hates.

"I'm straight," said Kin. Why the hell would people write that about her?

They found a story where Naruto has a harem consisting of Sakura, Tayuya, Kin, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten.

"WHAT THE FUCK? A HAREM STORY! I would never love him, yet alone love him so much that I'm willing to share him with five or so other girls. I have too much self-respect for that. So does Tayuya. Though I don't know about those Konoha sluts," said Kin. She was disgusted that anyone would even think that any girl would be willing to share a guy with other girls. Even if they think he is really amazing.

They found a ZakuKin story. Said teens blushed at the lovey-dovey words and actions. Kin almost cried when she read a tragic story.

They even found a DosuKin story. I don't even have to explain that.

They found more yaoi stories about Zaku and some random guy.

"What the hell! That guy beat me up! Why would I love him? Why would I love any man for that matter?" exclaimed Zaku.

The same thing happened with yaoi Dosu and some random guy stories.

Said teenager twitched violently at each one. Especially when they read a very detailed one-shot.

When they found a threesome of them, they finally decided to stop searching each other's names. They're already scarred.

"How do these people know anything about us?" asked Dosu. It was kind of creepy.

"I don't know. They most likely stalk us through this anime and manga series by a man named Masashi Kishimoto. Said man probably manages to piss a lot of his readers off most of the time because of who died that episode/chapter," said Kin. She knows about the Naruto series. And quite frankly, she does not like how the three of them ended up in the series.

"Hey. If this site has stories about us, maybe it has stories about the Sound Five," said Zaku. Based on what he read about him and his teammates, there must also be some blackmail material on the Sound Five.

"Let's go search it with them." With that, Zaku raced back to the base. Kin and Dosu reluctantly followed. The Sound Five are feared and admired throughout Otogakure. Zaku will try to find dirt on them, probably managing to piss off everyone (especially the violent and foul-mouthed Tayuya). This will not end well.