ULTIMATE WEAPON
OF THE CHOZO
By tikitikirevenge
Disclaimer: This is a fan-made story based on the Metroid™ video game franchise by Nintendo™. All characters in this story are the property of their respective owners.
Brief note: I seem to have accidentally written a non-humour story. Don't expect anything good. Please read it and leave feedback nonetheless.
ONE – FIRING
Planet Zebes
3199/12/31, 21:00
"Firing at departing ships," acknowledged the Space Pirate lieutenant, his hands moving over the weapons controls of the Class Beta warship.
From the view port, Space Pirate Commander Ridley watched idly as civilian transport ships burst into flames. "How pitiful," he drawled lazily, "they really do believe they have a chance."
The warship which he sat in was one of the best catches which the Space Pirates had found in recent times. They had managed to trick their way on board. The former crew's blood still needed to be cleaned from the walls, but Ridley was patient. One did not become one of the elite Space Pirates, a position commanding a first-name status and a position below only the Space Pirate High Commander, without having seen a fair share of blood.
"Commander," shouted someone on the other side of the bridge. "It's Tourainis!"
Ridley snapped his head around immediately. "What does the High Commander ask of me?" he said.
The pirate muttered something into his communicator. "He's ordered an emergency meeting of all the commanders. He says to be in this ship, meeting room, thirty seconds ago."
Ridley stood, flexing his muscles. "Right. You," he said, nodding at the lieutenant at the weapons platform, "you take control. Don't let so much as a bacterium out of Chozodia."
The lieutenant nodded. Ridley left.
21:12
While nobody would say as much, all of the commanders correctly predicted what the subject of discussion would be.
"Sit," said Tourainis, Space Pirate High Commander.
They sat.
"You are all aware," said Tourainis, "that to reach this rank you must have shown that you are more than perfect at doing what we all do – surviving."
There was a quiet murmur of assent.
"We must continue to fight for a freedom from the constraints of so-called civilisation, but to do that, we must be capable of fighting. Nobody within the ranks of the Space Pirates lies idle."
Tourainis paused for a moment, and looked around the table at the few he trusted. "Even within these walls, you can see that I do not discriminate. Most of our number, like I, are of an average size, biped, with pincers and what have you. It doesn't matter.
"Even at this table, you can see that I have both the smallest and largest of creatures working alongside me. We may not have anything in common in appearance, but we can all fight our oppressors. We can all inspire those below us in the chain of command. We all can help this seemingly endless struggle – except for one of us."
At these words, all fell silent. Tourainis stood up, and began to pace.
"Out of those of my species, I am certainly the oldest. A few years ago, I started this entire operation with my bare hands. I was the best fighter out of all the Space Pirates. I doubt that holds true any longer.
"I grow old. I understand what keeps the Space Pirates together, and if the leader of this organisation becomes old and useless, they will lose their faith in the basic principles of the Space Pirates. I have thought this through, and I see three options.
"The first is for me to leave, and never return. I have no idea what would happen, but I suspect that it would instil suspicion of you commanders from the lower ranks, as the people would believe me killed.
"The second option is for me to step down from my position. I can think of a suitable choice for my successor, and I believe that this would not provide any trouble to any of you. However, when the founder of this organisation seems to abandon his philosophy of action, then that will also cause trouble among many of our people.
"That leaves the third option, which gives us the best of both worlds. They will not lose their faith in me. They will not lose their faith in anything. Indeed, a martyr could do quite the opposite…"
Tourainis stopped. He was silent, and looked almost thoughtful. All of the other commanders could see the effects of time on this great man. They all understood what was to happen.
Finally, someone spoke – a gold-armoured Space Pirate of the species that would later be referred to as 'Tourainic' or 'Zebesian' in honour of Tourainis. "But Tourainis, oh great leader, what happens to command of the Space Pirates?"
Tourainis smiled. "I believe that our draconic friend Ridley would be a suitable choice for the second High Commander of the Space Pirates."
At these words, Ridley's eyes flickered, betraying emotion for a split second. "With all respect, High Commander, I fail to see what sets me apart from-"
"Humility will get you nowhere, Commander Ridley," said Tourainis sanguinely. "You are a force to be reckoned with whether in battle or in this room. You are one of the few commanders who actively share my high regard of innovation. And most importantly, unlike me, you have a long time ahead of you. With luck, it won't come to this in your case."
Tourainis walked towards the door of the meeting room, and turned back one last time. "I suspect that by 3200 on the general calendar, you will have a huge burden placed on you, Ridley. Two-and-a-half hours at most. Remember this – and I ask this of all of you.
"Firstly, remember who the enemy is. We fight against civilisation, not civilians. I want none of you to forget why we are doing this.
"Secondly, I have always favoured innovation. If we stagnate, we will be wiped out. Find new military strategies. Create new weapons. Do what is necessary. We must advance quicker than the Galactic Federation and the like does – that's not too hard, but it requires effort nonetheless.
"Finally, I ask you all to never stop believing in my – no, our vision. This keeps us together. And never let my story be forgotten. In the centuries to come, no matter what happens, I will always be the first High Commander of the Space Pirates.
"And despite the sentimentality of this phrase… thank you. Thank you all."
Tourainis, First High Commander of the Space Pirates, smiled, turned around, and left the room.
And nobody spoke.
22:00
Ridley spent the next hour on the command deck, staring silently through the view port and looking at the carnage outside. Even the massacre of the current enemy was not enough to lighten his mood; he simply couldn't stop thinking about what was happening on the ground, in the centre of Chozodia.
Was it truly worth losing Tourainis? Perhaps. Ridley wasn't completely sure if Tourainis' prediction was right. Then again, Tourainis usually was.
Eventually, Ridley realised that there was no point in philosophising over something that would not be stopped. Coincidentally, it was at about this time when a Pirate dashed to his chair from the other side of the deck.
"Commander! Commander!" it shouted, forcing Ridley from his thoughts.
"What?" he snapped.
"Tourainis, commander… he went with a ground patrol into the Chozo temple."
"And…?" cued Ridley, knowing full well what would come next.
"The Chozo had gathered there for a final stand… the patrol is dead. So is the High Commander."
The entire room was suddenly silent. The only noises Ridley could hear were the distant screams of dying Chozo.
Ridley was silent for a moment. Then he said, "So Tourainis is dead. Long live the High Commander."
"Long live the High Commander," murmured everyone else.
Ridley sighed, realising that he was going to have to leave the deck again. To the messenger, "I presume that the other Commanders are in a private meeting?"
"Actually, commander, they've called a general assembly."
"I see," said Ridley. "Command goes back to the same as earlier. None of you leave the command deck. If you must see the meeting, patch it through the video channel." He stood up and left.
22:58
By the time Ridley reached the ground, where almost every Space Pirate in the fleet now was, everyone had started without him.
"…knew that there was a great risk in leading the way to the last few Chozo. Nonetheless, our great leader did this anyway. This is the devotion which he placed in our goals. Do you…"
Commander Arachnus, the speaker, the only arachnoid in the ranks, held the full attention of the audience. Ridley watched the audience with fascination. Arachnus could easily be one of the best speakers the Space Pirates had. I should certainly try to understand how he does it, Ridley thought, it might be useful later.
"…Tourainis himself. Immediately before this assembly, the commanders with the exception of the commander at the mother-ship deck all agreed that Tourainis' recommendation as successor was a sound one."
Ridley sensed that Arachnus was lying here; there wouldn't have been time for the commanders to meet together before this assembly started.
The thousands of Space Pirates in the audience waited in anticipation. Ridley hoped one last time that they would have chosen someone else for a needlessly complicated job.
"As such," shouted Arachnus, "the commanders of the Space Pirates unanimously promote Commander Ridley, Space Dragon and seasoned warrior, to his new position as the Second High Commander of the Space Pirates!"
For a moment, these words echoed against the walls of the valley they were in. Then, the cheering started.
Tourainis committed suicide for this?, Ridley wondered, trying hard not to let the relentless noise damage his psyche too much.
"Ridley? Any comments?" said Arachnus. Ridley reluctantly acknowledged the cue and moved towards the microphone in the centre of the crowd.
As he reached the open space in a sea of bodies where Arachnus waited, Ridley slowed his pace and hissed to Arachnus, "I don't do crowds! What do I say?"
Arachnus did an exaggerated bow, and whispered back, "Speak naturally. Tell them why Tourainis chose you, what you plan for as leader, and do something inspiring."
Ridley memorised that, and stepped into the range of the microphone. "Well," he said, "I am glad that you all feel confidence in my new role. I intend to honour Tourainis in the way that I now can best."
"Keep going," mouthed Arachnus, retreating into the crowd.
Ridley inwardly sighed and looked out at the Space Pirates before him.
"Before this happened, Tourainis told the commanders his intentions of inspiring you all by leading the way to the last few Chozo. He also reminded us of what the Space Pirates stand for.
"We must never waver. It is our obligation to Tourainis to always fight the enemy. As High Commander, I do not intend to compromise, and I expect that of you all.
"Tourainis was always in favour of innovation as a way of winning our war. Perhaps when the time comes, our greatest blow to the enemy will not involve death. We must remain open to change, and use it best to our advantage. Tourainis particularly wanted us to take control of this star system so that we could use Chozo technology for practical purposes. I, certainly, don't want his death to be in vain. Do you?"
Ridley could now see that Tourainis had been right; if anything, his death had created Space Pirates with unwavering devotion to the cause.
"Oh, of course. We still have one loose end," said Ridley smiling. "The Chozo temple is under siege, but none but that ill-fated party have gone in. I will take over Tourainis' role as the one who finishes off the Chozo of Zebes, as soon as I am done here.
"Remember what the Space Pirates stand for. Long live the Space Pirates! Long live Tourainis! May we never waver!" Ridley didn't bother to say any more, as he had nothing left to say, and nothing would be heard over the deafening cheers of the Space Pirates anyway.
He opened his wings for the first time in a long while, and flew to Chozodia.
23.42
In the few minutes it took him to reach the Chozo temple, the Space Pirates standing guard there were already standing there in anticipation of his arrival.
"Let's go," he said the moment he landed, and he and the squadron moved into the temple.
"The passage goes this way," said a space pirate behind him, pointing to a small tunnel off the main entrance chamber. "And is it true that you-"
"Later," said Ridley, smiling. These creatures were so easily distracted. It was a wonder that Tourainis had managed to band them all together.
As he walked through the halls of the temple, Ridley couldn't help but to admire the architecture. The Chozo style of design was extravagant but elegant. Ridley was impressed by the consistency of the building as well; the architectural style, whilst a bit too ornate for his tastes, didn't change at any point.
"If their technology is anywhere near as good," he mused, "this will most certainly be a great day for the Space Pirates."
They passed a large statue of a Chozo. "Pretentious fools," muttered one of the pirates beside Ridley.
Ridley, however, had fallen back into quiet thought. So here he was; new leader of the space pirates! It was hard to accept, but Ridley knew that Tourainis had been right: he was the best choice… perhaps the only.
The conviction with which Tourainis had marched off to his death was amazing. Had the Chozo really killed off that squadron, or had Tourainis orchestrated his own death? It didn't matter that much, Ridley supposed, but the fact that he didn't know for sure irked him.
Ridley found out soon enough, though; for as they approached the room where the mother ship's heat sensors had located the last few Chozo, he saw, surrounded by around forty few shocked pirates, the crushed remains of a few Zebesians. Among them was Tourainis' body.
"How…?" Ridley said slowly.
One of the pirates who had been standing nearby pointed to a spot in the ceiling. "A column of stone… it fell from the ceiling onto… onto our commander…"
Ridley looked up, and saw a faint shape etched into the ceiling. A cunningly disguised last resort.
"I see," he hissed, his usual anger slowly rebuilding. "An ingeniously hidden death trap in a place of worship… what an interesting species we are dealing with here…"
He considered briefly. Should he personally avenge Tourainis, or leave that to his fellow pirates?
"We go in," he decided.
23.50
The last few Chozo were cornered in a large, bleak room. At the far end of the room, there was a large statue of a Chozo, probably ten times the size of the real article.
"Do we kill them?" said one of the pirates to Ridley's left.
"Not yet," said Ridley. "I'd like to do something first."
"Whatever you want, sir," said the pirate, stepping back.
Ridley scanned the room, and found a Chozo who he would have easily identified as the leader of these remnants even if he hadn't been shown many images of this one. The bird oozed an arrogant confidence that was ridiculous, considering how the Space Pirates were crushing its kind with ease.
"You are the leader," the bird said in low, solemn tones, staring at the ground.
"Yes," snapped Ridley. "You know why we have taken this planet?"
"Because you hope to find something valuable to pillage," replied the bird.
Ridley forced himself not to burn him to charcoal… yet. "You are going to die, Chozo."
The Chozo elder nodded.
Not for the first time, Ridley found his curiosity aroused by the enemy. "Why aren't you afraid?"
"Death does not scare me."
"Then why aren't you angry?"
The Chozo looked up and met Ridley's gaze.
Neither spoke for a moment.
The Chozo smiled weakly.
"Pirate, justice will be served. As little as I wish to kill, I know that you will die by our hands."
Ridley smirked. "Why? Blind faith?"
"We do not have faith," said the Chozo, "we have science. And you will die."
"Oh, are you planning on destroying this planet with me on it?"
"Nothing so crude," said the Chozo. "We have created, I regret to say, a weapon."
Ridley's patience was starting to feel tried. The Chozo could easily be lying for some misguided purpose. Perhaps he wanted the Space Pirates to ignore the threat of the GF, running from some imaginary danger. "Then we will find your weapon," he said. "Something made by a people of your intelligence must be powerful."
The Chozo nodded, seemingly more to himself than to Ridley.
Ridley leaned in close, trying to break him. "And you know what, bird? We'll take this weapon of yours, and we'll use it to destroy the rest of civilisation. Ironic, isn't it?" He nodded to the pirates around him. "Kill the others."
"You'll never find it," said the Chozo, his voice wavering as the blood of the rest of his kin was spilt. "Not until it destroys you."
Ridley laughed, bringing his tail round to press the tip of it against the Chozo's throat. "What? A bomb on your person? A sonic grenade? Perhaps you hope me to believe that this temple of yours will collapse when you die? Pathetic. Even if I hadn't checked for any and everything, I have come prepared for something like this."
"You won't die yet," said the Chozo. "But you will die, and your band of pirates will die with you."
"You have no ultimate weapon, Chozo," said Ridley, maintaining his calm against the rage that was bubbling beneath the surface, reaching boiling point. "And you are going to die, knowing that I have called your bluff and that it is over for you and your kind."
The Chozo reached out and touched the spiked tip of the tail against his throat. Then he smiled. "You're not nearly as intelligent as you'd like to believe."
The dragon's patience had worn away.
With a single thrust of his tail, Ridley sealed the Chozo elder's fate… and his own.